Need a dating advice

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2015 4:48 AM GMT
    Can anyone have better advice for my current date.
    I met this guy here in RJ and we meet up. .. We have had sex since the second date. After a few months (I believe so) he lost interest and stopped contacting me. It's been almost one year. Now he began to ask for another date. .. I don't know what to do. As far as I know- he is good and kind. I don't want to make some hook ups. How can I make this more like an intimate relationship with him. He is 15 yrs older than me.
    Your suggestions are greatly appreciated.

    Sarath!
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Aug 30, 2015 5:11 AM GMT
    Sometimes you just got to go with what you got until some better shows up or until it gradually becomes something more.
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    Aug 30, 2015 5:12 AM GMT
    Someone who loses interest and then ends up calling you a year later isn't worth your time. He sounds like a guy who simply wants a hookup and that is it. You can't make an intimate relationship out of a connection like this.
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    Aug 30, 2015 5:16 AM GMT
    James_Thunder_Early saidSomeone who loses interest and then ends up calling you a year later isn't worth your time. He sounds like a guy who simply wants a hookup and that is it. You can't make an intimate relationship out of a connection like this.

    +1

    But can we make a change?
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    Aug 30, 2015 5:18 AM GMT
    sudeep said
    James_Thunder_Early saidSomeone who loses interest and then ends up calling you a year later isn't worth your time. He sounds like a guy who simply wants a hookup and that is it. You can't make an intimate relationship out of a connection like this.

    +1

    But can we make a change?


    I wouldn't bet on it.
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    Aug 30, 2015 5:21 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    sudeep said
    James_Thunder_Early saidSomeone who loses interest and then ends up calling you a year later isn't worth your time. He sounds like a guy who simply wants a hookup and that is it. You can't make an intimate relationship out of a connection like this.

    +1

    But can we make a change?


    I wouldn't bet on it.

    Ha ha ha. ..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2015 5:24 AM GMT
    One of my friend told me to play hard to get! icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2015 5:32 AM GMT
    sudeep saidNeed a dating advice
    Get laid.

    Enjoy.

    Repeat.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2015 5:32 AM GMT
    James_Thunder_Early saidSomeone who loses interest and then ends up calling you a year later isn't worth your time. He sounds like a guy who simply wants a hookup and that is it. You can't make an intimate relationship out of a connection like this.



    I just read it like :
    Sometimes who loses interest and then ends up calling you a year later isn't worth your time.

    I just read it like that and thought it is hilarious



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2015 5:40 AM GMT
    Sex on the first or second date, is commonly referred to as a 'Hook-up'. Some guys refer to this as, "Testing the water first" or, "Trying out the dish". If the water is not warm enough or that first dish is not appetizing, they move on to the next helping. Tell this guy, you would like to get to know him better. Have dinner or meet for drinks. Do not under any circumstances give into his sexual desires. If he wants to meet again and take things to the next level, he is into you. If he toys around, suggesting sex, he is just not into you and is only using you for one thing, 'SEX'. Also follow his discussions closely, if he makes as if he is interested in you but continuosly changes the subject, eg. He talks about his career, then goes on to talk about past affairs; or continuously asks what you like during sex or what turns you on, he is still 'Testing the water'! I met a guy on a Chat-Site once, we had intimate sex and saw each other afterwards. I became attached to him. When he realized I had become attached to him, he started giving me the cold shoulder. He was so imbittered over a previous relationship that landed on the rocks. Another thing I noticed about him was he had a list of friends on FB and on other Chat-Site's as long as his arm. I could never hold a conversation with him, as his I-Pad was seemingly stuck to his hand. I guess, he was not really 'into me'.
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    Aug 30, 2015 5:53 AM GMT
    ''Just 7 years! Let me tell you that it's not big age difference as I am dating a man 17 years older than me. Age is just a number if you both like each other for real.
    Good luck friend..... icon_smile.gif''


    sweetie you ned to fucking get a life icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 30, 2015 5:57 AM GMT
    I agree with what James_Thunder said.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Aug 30, 2015 6:42 AM GMT
    James_Thunder_Early saidSomeone who loses interest and then ends up calling you a year later isn't worth your time. He sounds like a guy who simply wants a hookup and that is it. You can't make an intimate relationship out of a connection like this.



    I completely agree with this.

    Go out and find someone who deserves you.
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    Aug 30, 2015 6:44 AM GMT
    bonaparts said''Just 7 years! Let me tell you that it's not big age difference as I am dating a man 17 years older than me. Age is just a number if you both like each other for real.
    Good luck friend..... icon_smile.gif''


    sweetie you ned to fucking get a life icon_lol.gif
    ...says the guy who has stated multiple times that he plans on killing himself "eventually."

    Sounds like you want to take your life rather than get one. icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 30, 2015 6:46 AM GMT
    Webster666 said
    James_Thunder_Early saidSomeone who loses interest and then ends up calling you a year later isn't worth your time. He sounds like a guy who simply wants a hookup and that is it. You can't make an intimate relationship out of a connection like this.



    I completely agree with this.

    Go out and find someone who deserves you.
    Personally I'd totally take him up on it; but I'd also be aware that it's only a hookup and enjoy the moment for what it is.
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    Aug 30, 2015 6:47 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    bonaparts said''Just 7 years! Let me tell you that it's not big age difference as I am dating a man 17 years older than me. Age is just a number if you both like each other for real.
    Good luck friend..... icon_smile.gif''


    sweetie you ned to fucking get a life icon_lol.gif
    ...says the guy who has stated multiple times that he plans on killing himself "eventually."

    Sounds like you want to take your life rather than get one. icon_wink.gif


    Ouh please and was obviously very serious about it icon_lol.gif and you were the one who implied that I should do it which makes you a douche and a double douche for rubbing that in my face, seems to be you cannot wait for iticon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2015 7:30 AM GMT
    By the way I have almost died 4 times in my life.
    I almost died after birth
    I almost died from an electric shock when I was little, I grabed on to electric wires and could not let go, i was saved
    I almost drowned when I was 7 and was unconscious, stranger saved my life
    I had a car crash, there was a sharp turn and high speed , I drove off the cliff and maneuvered through trees, car was unrestorable, wasn't even my car icon_lol.gif, but I was ok


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2015 7:51 AM GMT
    It's up to you. If he lives nearby, what the fuck you got to lose?

    This is the gay community. Fuck age and race. We are 2% of the fucking population.
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    Aug 30, 2015 4:02 PM GMT
    bonaparts saidBy the way I have almost died 4 times in my life.
    I almost died after birth
    I almost died from an electric shock when I was little, I grabed on to electric wires and could not let go, i was saved
    I almost drowned when I was 7 and was unconscious, stranger saved my life
    I had a car crash, there was a sharp turn and high speed , I drove off the cliff and maneuvered through trees, car was unrestorable, wasn't even my car icon_lol.gif, but I was ok



    no wonder you smell like a rotten corpse.
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    Aug 30, 2015 5:46 PM GMT
    __morphic__ said
    bonaparts saidBy the way I have almost died 4 times in my life.
    I almost died after birth
    I almost died from an electric shock when I was little, I grabed on to electric wires and could not let go, i was saved
    I almost drowned when I was 7 and was unconscious, stranger saved my life
    I had a car crash, there was a sharp turn and high speed , I drove off the cliff and maneuvered through trees, car was unrestorable, wasn't even my car icon_lol.gif, but I was ok



    no wonder you smell like a rotten corpse.


  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Aug 30, 2015 7:26 PM GMT
    Again, there is nothing wrong with having sex with no imminence of a relationship. Every hook up you have isn't going to turn into a relationship. Get over it and have fun having sex because if you cut yourself off and only wait for a deeper connection and not hook up even if you want to, you will turn into a numb, untrusting, recluse. Sex keeps you vibrant, open, and sexually healthy. It is valuable even absent a long term relationship. Have it and stop projecting hetero mainstays into gay life. If you want to have sex, go to him, but don't over think it and guilt yourself. It's a fun experience you want. Be aware it may not happen again and that it is just sex. This man has made it pretty clear what he wants. If YOU really don't want to hook up, don't go, but you do want to hook up, don't you? So hook up for fuck's sake.

    .............................
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    Aug 30, 2015 9:20 PM GMT
    James_Thunder_Early saidSomeone who loses interest and then ends up calling you a year later isn't worth your time. He sounds like a guy who simply wants a hookup and that is it. You can't make an intimate relationship out of a connection like this.



    I disagree. Unless you talk to the person you have no idea what his reasons were for not calling again. Most guys date more than one person at a time and he could have felt a strong connection with someone else and decided to pursue it to see where it would lead. He could have had family or career issues going on that you know nothing about. I would start by asking him what happened and see if his answer is an acceptable one. Better yet.....don't mention it at all and just enjoy yourself. You can always ask him what was up at a later date when you're more comfortable with each other.
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    Aug 31, 2015 3:24 PM GMT
    Domino_dancer saidSex on the first or second date, is commonly referred to as a 'Hook-up'. Some guys refer to this as, "Testing the water first" or, "Trying out the dish". If the water is not warm enough or that first dish is not appetizing, they move on to the next helping. Tell this guy, you would like to get to know him better. Have dinner or meet for drinks. Do not under any circumstances give into his sexual desires. If he wants to meet again and take things to the next level, he is into you. If he toys around, suggesting sex, he is just not into you and is only using you for one thing, 'SEX'. Also follow his discussions closely, if he makes as if he is interested in you but continuosly changes the subject, eg. He talks about his career, then goes on to talk about past affairs; or continuously asks what you like during sex or what turns you on, he is still 'Testing the water'! I met a guy on a Chat-Site once, we had intimate sex and saw each other afterwards. I became attached to him. When he realized I had become attached to him, he started giving me the cold shoulder. He was so imbittered over a previous relationship that landed on the rocks. Another thing I noticed about him was he had a list of friends on FB and on other Chat-Site's as long as his arm. I could never hold a conversation with him, as his I-Pad was seemingly stuck to his hand. I guess, he was not really 'into me'.

    You shared your experience and gavr a good idea about my date. Really helpful. Thanks.
    I will keep them in mind. icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 31, 2015 3:42 PM GMT
    Radd said
    James_Thunder_Early saidSomeone who loses interest and then ends up calling you a year later isn't worth your time. He sounds like a guy who simply wants a hookup and that is it. You can't make an intimate relationship out of a connection like this.



    I disagree. Unless you talk to the person you have no idea what his reasons were for not calling again. Most guys date more than one person at a time and he could have felt a strong connection with someone else and decided to pursue it to see where it would lead. He could have had family or career issues going on that you know nothing about. I would start by asking him what happened and see if his answer is an acceptable one. Better yet.....don't mention it at all and just enjoy yourself. You can always ask him what was up at a later date when you're more comfortable with each other.

    Radd. ..
    Thanks was really a +ve attitude. I didn't think that way. Hugs...
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    Aug 31, 2015 3:45 PM GMT
    Oceans_of_Flowers saidAgain, there is nothing wrong . This man has made it pretty clear what he wants. If YOU really don't want to hook up, don't go, but you do want to hook up, don't you? So hook up for fuck's sake.

    .............................

    That's a wise one. It makes my day. Lol. icon_twisted.gif