At a typical gay white/Latin "party, dinner, etc", how often do you see other Black attendees?

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    Aug 30, 2015 10:53 PM GMT
    Not trying to make a race war here, but this is kind of a branch of another thread I created about people who will many times tell me about something their attending, but won't invite me along. And it makes me wonder, there's a reason behind it.

    I ask because I'm really noticing this stuff. It's not that I'm not into black parties/events, but theres 2 things: where I live at is pretty vanilla...and, personally I've been to a couple majority black parties...i don't feel I fit in. So I'm in a weird place.

    Anyway, so last night I went to my Latin friends birthday party. First one I've been invited to all year long. And he doesn't even invite me to parties he goes to, so I had to check him for that. There were 41 people supposedly attending. Before me and my friend arrived, there was only 1 other black person...it was a white girl who bought her husband or whatever. Nobody else was. I seen a handful of people who bought along their dates, all white. There wasn't even another Black woman there.

    There's even a guy who was there who supposedly is into Black guys...and I'm sure he could have invited one. Non were there. So, when I think about when people are having these weekend plans and I never hear about it until after the fact or as they're on their way to it...it goes to show people are being biased about who they include.

    This has been the case at most every party/dinner I've been to, where a group of gay friends get together. Even when I was Wisconsin, the guy I was hanging with for 2 days was making me jump through hoops to meet him and his friends for dinner...and I was surprised because he's a white guy who sleeps with black guys..yet all his friends are white! And his partner is white too!

    So I'm not making this stuff up. I just want to know why. Do people think they won't have much in common or can't hang out with a minority race?
  • Zigs_01

    Posts: 226

    Aug 30, 2015 11:00 PM GMT
    If black people make up a small percentage of your town, than there won't be that much black people.
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    Aug 30, 2015 11:04 PM GMT
    Zigs_01 saidIf black people make up a small percentage of your town, than there won't be that much black people.


    It's not that small of a percentage though...I've been seeing a number at one of my gym lately, which is odd because that's the ONLY place I seem to see any around here lol.
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    Aug 30, 2015 11:59 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs27 saidNot trying to make a race war here, ...
    Riiiiiiiiiight. icon_rolleyes.gif

    But to answer the thread title, about 50/50.

    And to hammer it in stone, watch the latest video thread I posted in the Arts and Entertainment forum. You can count the whites on one hand. icon_cool.gif
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    Aug 31, 2015 12:12 AM GMT
    Well, as with most of these questions, unless you ask the person who is making the decision for their reasons, we're left to fill in the blanks for ourselves based on our experiences or assumptions.

    Having lived in Austin, I can say that there are very few blacks that have worked with me in the 3 companies at which I've been employed. Since people tend to make friends with the people they spend the most time with and my companies have been 99% non-black, my coworkers often end up with social circles that are also skewed that way. I've been invited to plenty of weddings and dinners where I've been THE. ONLY. BLACK. PERSON... it is a dynamic that many minorities face at some point in their lives, especially if they are middle to upper class. I will say that I have often not attended events because I knew I was going to be the only minority there. So it cuts both ways.

    When I lived in DC, parties were more diverse.
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    Aug 31, 2015 12:20 AM GMT
    Went to a family/friend gathering last night in Seattle, and there was one African American attendee, one mixed-Indian girl, and the majority were Asian mixes. I was one of two Caucasians; I'm still trying to process how that made me feel, distilling it from a myriad of emotions. Considering I prefer (U.S.) minority races, I feel an obligation to exercise racial self-disorientation.

    In more direct response to your question: I don't go to explicitly "gay, white/Latin" events. The keynote speaker of the last dinner/fundraiser I attended was black, but I'm probably cherry-picking events, to seem more multicultural.
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    Aug 31, 2015 12:50 AM GMT
    African Americans are not the only minority anymore. The Asian population is growing faster than the AA population due to immigration. Central and South Americans have also seen huge increases. My BF's state has seen a 200 % increase in 10 years of those identifying as "Latin". If you are feeling lonely move to a city that still has majority African American population like Washingtion D.C.
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    Aug 31, 2015 1:06 AM GMT
    Zigs_01 saidIf black people make up a small percentage of your town, than there won't be that much black people.

    Yeah, the local demographic is gonna be a factor. I mean, you can't deliberately bus minorities to your dinner, can you?

    At the same time, we arrange large dinners & banquets here all the time. At which every kind of racial representation will be present. Because we are a large & diverse community. Some smaller communities are not.

    Or communities that are almost exclusively White. When I lived in Fargo, North Dakota you almost never saw a person who wasn't of northern European extraction. Not anywhere. I myself was kinda outta place there, since I was more central European.

    I tried to stress my Dutch & slight German heritage, but it didn't do me any good. In some places you either fit the mold, or you don't. Skin color is only part of it. Just like I never could be totally accepted in the Deep South, where I always was "Bob frum the Noth".
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    Aug 31, 2015 1:28 AM GMT
    southbeach1500 said...Are you busing them in from other communities Kolonel KooKoo? Because the gay ghetto of Wilton Manors in which you live is known for it's NON-diversity, especially compared to the rest of South Florida.

    71% White
    13% Hispanic
    12% Black

    http://www.wiltonmanors.com/DocumentCenter/View/5


    Those are 2010. Here are the 2013 numbers

    http://www.city-data.com/city/Wilton-Manors-Florida.html

    65.2% White alone
    15.9% Black alone
    14.8% Hispanic
    1.1% Asian alone
    0.8% Two or more races
    0.2% American Indian alone

    Broward county by race (same source)

    •White Non-Hispanic Alone (43.5%)
    •Black Non-Hispanic Alone (25.7%)
    •Hispanic or Latino (25.1%)
    •Asian alone (3.2%)
    •Two or more races (1.7%)
    •Some other race alone (0.5%)

    Florida by race (2013)
    http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/12000.html
    Race.....................Florida......USA
    White alone.............. 78.1%.......77.7%
    Black/African Am alone....16.7%.......13.2%
    Am Indian/Alaskan Native..0.5%........1.2%
    Asian alone...............2.7%........5.3%
    Native Hawaiian/Pacific...0.1%........0.2%
    Two or More Races.........1.9%........2.4%
    Hispanic or Latino.......23.6%.......17.1%
    White, not Hispanic/Latino 56.4%.....62.6%

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    Aug 31, 2015 1:29 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs27

    There are 2 things:

    where I live at is pretty vanilla...and,

    I've been to a couple of majority black parties...i don't feel I fit in.

    Stephenoabc

    Why don't you fit in?

    FuzzyPecs27

    Anyway, so last night I went to my Latin friend's birthday party. First one I've been invited to all year long. And he doesn't even invite me to parties he goes to, so I had to check him for that. There were 41 people supposedly attending. Before me and my friend arrived

    Stephenoabc

    What color was your friend?

    FuzzyPecs27

    There's even a guy who was there who supposedly is into Black guys...and I'm sure he could have invited one. None were there.

    So, when I think about when people are having these weekend plans and I never hear about it until after the fact or as they're on their way to it...it goes to show people are being biased about who they include.

    This has been the case at most every party/dinner I've been to, where a group of gay friends get together. Even when I was in Wisconsin, the guy I was hanging with for 2 days was making me jump through hoops to meet him and his friends for dinner...and I was surprised because he's a white guy who sleeps with black guys..yet all his friends are white! And his partner is white too!

    Stephenoabc

    The handwriting is on the wall.

    FuzzyPecs27

    Do people think they won't have much in common?

    - or -

    People can't hang out with a minority race?

    Stephenoabc

    White people who are not Jewish are not good inter-racial mixers. Even one of my Jewish friends was into going to restaurants where we had the place to ourselves.

    Another Jewish friend loved speaking with me until he figured out I didn't think he was superior to me. A Jewish girlfriend of mine invited me to lunch with her mother so she could meet me. That 20-something friendship did not grow any further.

    An elderly Jewish female friend turned down my marriage proposal. Years later, her Upper West Side apartment wasn't mine to live in after she passed.

    The majority of White people will go along with the fortune of having you as a kind person in their life; but, a clan of culture rarely is inter-racial.

    I had a White boyfriend in NYC for a while. Why? Because he was born in the year of the Metal Cat/Rabbit. I was born in the year of the Water/Tiger. Metal nurtures Water. BUT, a 7-day a week boyfriend, no. Did he tell his elderly mother about our close relationship, no. Did he want to leave his 1 BR apartment and I leave my studio apt so we could live in a 2 BR apartment? No.

    Handwriting on the wall: there is a distance.

    Now, I'm in TX, there isn't a liberal church, or a down to earth church like Marble Collegiate Church, 1998 - 2007.

    Blah, blah, blah: make the long story short.

    There IS a difference between the races. If they do not want to serve some of your race to you at their parties, they do not invite you. Same thing with every other ethnic group.

    Inter-racial socializing is a "thing." Some people don't go through the trouble/bother of it. Like why?

    Some people are quite color blind. I know a Black man who became color blind and married a White woman who was also color blind.

    MOST culture clans are NOT color blind. If you don't study Astrology, you have another reason not to enter the society of color blindness.

    There is a White woman who moved into post-Katrina New Orleans 9th ward. Why, because she and her husband, teachers, couldn't afford to live in their post-Katrina White neighborhood which became too expensive.

    Aren't you even aware of what happened to the Native Americans? They learned the White Man's language. Where was the great interracial society there? Did you see the movie The Mission? Did you see the movie The New World with Colin Farrell about Pocahontus?

    Look at Obama. Did the White Man give us a Black President, an African American where the African family tree goes back to 1865? No. Obama's father was not a marching Civil Rights Black father. Obama's parents are half-White and half-international.

    And as for Latin friends. Wake up! Jesus: Salvation about this B.S. already. Your Latin friend does not have to blatantly tell you what he has already written on the wall. Read the handwriting on the wall: y'all just aren't as close as you would like and really as close as you need.


  • MadeinMich

    Posts: 1624

    Aug 31, 2015 1:30 AM GMT
    When it comes to the sociability of gay men just learn to lower your standards and level of expectation. You'll be a much happier person for it.
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    Aug 31, 2015 1:51 AM GMT
    southbeach1500 said...the gay ghetto of Wilton Manors in which you live is known for it's NON-diversity, especially compared to the rest of South Florida.

    71% White
    13% Hispanic
    12% Black

    http://www.wiltonmanors.com/DocumentCenter/View/5

    If you actually lived in South Florida you would know that all the towns we're discussing are very close together. What I experience isn't limited only to the residents of Wilton Manors, but includes all those who come here from neighboring towns, like Fort Lauderdale and Oakland Park. Some as far away as Miami and Miami Beach, or Palm Beach to the north, because we are the current Gay Central. icon_biggrin.gif

    So that I see a lot of diversity. And where do YOU actually live, and what diversity do YOU see?
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    Aug 31, 2015 2:09 AM GMT
    I'll let you in on a little secret: White people are wary about being around black people. We are so afraid we're going to say something to offend you. It's hard walking on eggshells all evening. People just want to relax and let their hair down. That's hard to do when you're watching every word that comes out your mouth.

    To be honest I'd rather be the token white at a majority black function than be part of the majority around one or two token blacks at a function. Black people are cray cray fun. White people are waaaaaaay too up tight. I don't know why you're jonesing to hang with us crackers; we are boring as shit.

    So there you have it in black and white.
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    Aug 31, 2015 2:13 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidI'll let you in on a little secret: White people are wary about being around black people. We are so afraid we're going to say something to offend you. It's hard walking on eggshells all evening. People just want to relax and let their hair down. That's hard to do when you're watching every word that comes out your mouth.
    Yep, and that's why I'd never let black guys hang out with mah niggas. icon_wink.gif

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/4104903
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Aug 31, 2015 2:20 AM GMT
    lol, its the same way at an all black function: 1 or two white people or 1 latin. Also, black people tend to flake out on shin digs. Black people don't like shin digs, they'd rather network out on the strizeet. I say "they" not because I'm distancing myself in general, but I love a good "do" and am often the token black at these functions. Oh well, more little crab cakes for me.
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    Aug 31, 2015 2:25 AM GMT
    Oceans_of_Flowers saidlol, its the same way at an all black function: 1 or two white people or 1 latin. Also, black people tend to flake out on shin digs. Black people don't like shin digs, they'd rather network out on the strizeet. I say "they" not because I'm distancing myself in general, but I love a good "do" and am often the token black at these functions. Oh well, more little crab cakes for me.
    You wouldn't be the "token" in my crowd. icon_cool.gif
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    Aug 31, 2015 2:51 AM GMT
    Oceans_of_Flowers saidlol, its the same way at an all black function: 1 or two white people or 1 latin. Also, black people tend to flake out on shin digs. Black people don't like shin digs, they'd rather network out on the strizeet. I say "they" not because I'm distancing myself in general, but I love a good "do" and am often the token black at these functions. Oh well, more little crab cakes for me.


    What in the world are you talking about? Neither one of us speak for "black people". Back when I was in DC, I knew plenty of blacks who didn't network on the "strizeet" as you say, because they were professionals... they didn't hang out in the "strizeet" or even use that word. As for black people "flaking out on shin digs" this is a common metropolitan issue across all races. Birthday parties for their kids, dinner parties, weddings, get togethers. Half of my coworkers have vented or asked for advice for how to handle their frustration with friends/coworkers who bailed when they RSVP and they are white and hispanic.
  • BlackCoach

    Posts: 37

    Aug 31, 2015 2:54 AM GMT
    I have friends or all types of ethnicity in Atlanta! My main squeezes is indian but you know Atlanta is a very integrated city! But there are black and gay clubs too! course anyone can go the club but they just cater!
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Aug 31, 2015 3:24 AM GMT
    woodfordr said
    Oceans_of_Flowers saidlol, its the same way at an all black function: 1 or two white people or 1 latin. Also, black people tend to flake out on shin digs. Black people don't like shin digs, they'd rather network out on the strizeet. I say "they" not because I'm distancing myself in general, but I love a good "do" and am often the token black at these functions. Oh well, more little crab cakes for me.


    What in the world are you talking about? Neither one of us speak for "black people". Back when I was in DC, I knew plenty of blacks who didn't network on the "strizeet" as you say, because they were professionals... they didn't hang out in the "strizeet" or even use that word. As for black people "flaking out on shin digs" this is a common metropolitan issue across all races. Birthday parties for their kids, dinner parties, weddings, get togethers. Half of my coworkers have vented or asked for advice for how to handle their frustration with friends/coworkers who bailed when they RSVP and they are white and hispanic.


    Wait a moment, don't get all Sadiddy - I was being humorous and I wasn't talking about black professionals, you know that. I was referring to get-togethers of a certain ilk being good for networking. Of course, if you're a black professional, you want to network. I shouldn't have to explain every syllable of my post or deter every off conclusion you might read into my words. As for using the slang term "strizeet", which isn't even a real slang term, I'm not very well versed in slang. I made the word up, you freakin spazz.
    P.S. you know black people are flakes. I thought we kept it real in RJ forums.



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    Aug 31, 2015 5:51 AM GMT
    I don't think you should blame the party host or patrons in this issue necessarily. I mean of course the gay community is racist, stop asking stupid questions, and stop bringing up old shit. Let's move on.

    However, you should just blame society. Black is a minority, gay is a minority. Minority doesn't rule, majority does. This is with any scenario.

    Being a minority, that's less of a chance of it becoming a majority, ergo making it less possible for it to become accepted and seen by the majority.

    The black culture is very homophobic, and many black gay men are in the closet, and are very seclusive as to who and what they involve themselves is.

    I know the latino culture has the machismo, (I'm not latino, I'm black. So please don't murder me if I'm not explaining this right) but for the most part, they are accepting and seem to be more open to it.

    Plus keeping it 100 and real, latinos the majority of them pass as white anyways.

    So please understand. Why don't you just bring along more black acquaintances you know? If you think the people are racist. You will see they have no problem with that as long as they are civil.

    That way you will know if the hosts or guests are racist, or if it's just because they aren't that many of them, is why they aren't there.

  • Crisistunity

    Posts: 109

    Aug 31, 2015 8:48 AM GMT
    Why do you assume you don't get invited to many parties because of the color of your skin?

    Couldn't it be because your poor spelling skills?

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    Aug 31, 2015 8:57 AM GMT
    So what if there's only one black person? icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Aug 31, 2015 2:19 PM GMT
    OP brings up an interesting point. Los Angeles has a pretty diverse population, granted it doesn't have the numbers of African Americans as say D.C. or Atlanta, but there are enough to where a large party should and could have decent representation. I've come to accept that I will often be the only black guy at a non-'black' event. I don't think about the parties that I'm not invited to - there just isn't enough time in the day and I don't have the energy for it. I think that more often than not people socialize according to the rules of inclusion rather than exclusion. By that I mean, people invite the peeps that they want to spend time around and this isn't always the most diverse group. The narcissistic clone mentality of much of the gay world leads to very homogeneous networks. The added effects of geography (races are still somewhat segregated here with West Hollywood being mostly White, South LA being mostly Latin/Black) and economics (with Whites generally earning higher incomes and being able to afford more expensive venues) and preferences of attraction ---private events most often reflect the ethnicity/background of the hosts. There are rare exceptions, and these events are where there's a definite preference for partners or friends with a background different than the organizer(s).
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    Aug 31, 2015 2:29 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    Art_Deco said
    If you actually lived in South Florida you would know that all the towns we're discussing are very close together. What I experience isn't limited only to the residents of Wilton Manors, but includes all those who come here from neighboring towns, like Fort Lauderdale and Oakland Park. Some as far away as Miami and Miami Beach, or Palm Beach to the north, because we are the current Gay Central. icon_biggrin.gif

    Hence the "do you have to bus them in" question. Apparently the answer is yes.

    People seem to find their own way here, thank you very much. What's apparent is that you are just a stalker and a troublemaker here. Trying to disrupt and derail another thread. Will you please just go away?
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    Aug 31, 2015 2:41 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    Art_Deco said
    Yeah, the local demographic is gonna be a factor. I mean, you can't deliberately bus minorities to your dinner, can you?

    At the same time, we arrange large dinners & banquets here all the time.


    6889620.jpg?1354904953

    Art_Deco saidAt which every kind of racial representation will be present. Because we are a large & diverse community.


    Are you busing them in from other communities Kolonel KooKoo? Because the gay ghetto of Wilton Manors in which you live is known for it's NON-diversity, especially compared to the rest of South Florida.

    71% White
    13% Hispanic
    12% Black


    http://www.wiltonmanors.com/DocumentCenter/View/5



    In all seriousness, you really should be banned from this site. The only reason you're here is because you have a hard-on for Art_Deco and to post anti-gay shit. No one likes you here. No one.