Is there a "denial" phase after being single for so long?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 03, 2015 6:18 AM GMT
    Hey there. Looking for some input while I lay awake thinking weird thoughts icon_razz.gif

    I'm at a weird part of my life, emotionally speaking strictly. About four weeks ago, I met this guy. At first we started as friends, just to quickly find out how often we were on the same page as each other and we very quickly bonded into something more than just friends. It was a lot of chemistry, the connection is so strong, and I feel like I just can't get enough of him.

    About three days ago we've made ourselves officially dating. I'm still really excited about this. I just want to be clear- I REALLY like this guy, he makes me relax, laugh, feel warm inside, and the whole world feels brighter with him around. Just the thought of seeing him makes butterflies in my stomach.

    But... There's another weird feeling as well...

    There's also this sense of numbness... Where I'm realizing now that I'm not actually single anymore... And just saying it sounds weird, like my body doesn't know how to react... Or believes it.

    I've pretty much always been single. There has never been any relationship I've been able to have on a romantic level go as far as it has now. So is that maybe why I feel almost in disbelief to the whole thing?

    Again- this guy is amazing to me, I like everything about him and vice versa... I don't think it has to do with the connection... Does suddenly realizing that you're not single anymore after it being so long typically have this kind of effect on people? This feeling of sheer denial that you just can't be as excited as you were a moment ago?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 03, 2015 6:29 AM GMT
    People are always single, even when they are dating icon_lol.gif Just because you are dating does not mean you belong to that person, you are still you, I think you try to attach yourself to that other guy too much and you don't have enough space for yourself at the moment.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Sep 03, 2015 3:55 PM GMT
    Sounds exciting! So happy for you.icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 03, 2015 4:30 PM GMT
    WTF OP you're fucking 20 years old so please calm down.

    Okay sorry for the rough language but honestly lol you are so damn young, there are a lot of people much older than you that still haven't gotten as far as you in finding someone they bond with strongly and formed a relationship with.

    Well I have to agree with bonaparts in the sense that I think dating is just a "getting to know each other" phase and when you still like each other after getting to know about each other, then you decide to take the next step.

    Regardless it's nice you've met with someone you feel strongly about and I hope it's reciprocated well for you.

    I think perhaps this numbness is just a little bit of nervousness considering this is a new experience for you and you're over thinking a bit too much.
    Maybe change takes a bit of time for you to get used to but from what you've posted I think it's mostly going to be a positive experience (at least I hope so). icon_smile.gif
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14354

    Sep 04, 2015 11:37 PM GMT
    What is with some of these 20 and 21 year olds that they are in an all fired up hurry to get a date and to partner up with someone. What is the hurryicon_question.gif What is wrong with being singleicon_question.gif Are you all well aware of the drawbacks and responsibilities that both dating and relationships come withicon_question.gif Chill out, calm down and have fun being single and enjoy the freedom that comes with being single.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2015 12:49 AM GMT
    Enjoy the moment.

    YODO (You Only Die Once). Live every day. icon_biggrin.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Sep 05, 2015 3:31 AM GMT
    roadbikeRob saidWhat is with some of these 20 and 21 year olds that they are in an all fired up hurry to get a date and to partner up with someone. What is the hurryicon_question.gif What is wrong with being singleicon_question.gif Are you all well aware of the drawbacks and responsibilities that both dating and relationships come withicon_question.gif Chill out, calm down and have fun being single and enjoy the freedom that comes with being single.


    I can answer that. For a lot of young guys, we never got to experience any kind of relationships during our youth (say middle school-high school) like heterosexual people do. So when when young people get to about the ages of 18-21, we're very excited to finally be out and try to form a relationship with someone. Kind of some lost time we lost during our adolescent years if you will. So that's why a lot of us are so adamant or excited to find a relationship. Course this can have some drawbacks but that's beside the point.

    OP, I think it's because you're used to being single that brings up the nervousness. I've been single all my live as well so far and even though I dream for the day when I finally get into a relationship with a guy I like, I sometimes have that feeling where I want to throw up because I know it's going to take some getting adjusted to lol.

    My advice is to just be patient, try not to rush things and have fun. icon_smile.gif