Discovering your friend may be an awful human being.

  • Pyre85

    Posts: 213

    Sep 05, 2015 11:00 PM GMT
    So I have this friend who is a wonderful person. He is kind and generous in every dealing I've had with him personally, is fun to hang out with, and is the kind of person you can get black out drunk with and know he'll see you home with nary a sharpied penis drawn on your face.
    Him and his boyfriend are the only real friends I have since moving to LA. And yet. Now that we're facebook friends, I see him posting the most insensitive, hypocritical bullshit ever. If someone disagrees with him in any way, there is no reasoned discussion, or agree to disagreement. He'll rabidly defend it and it can get ugly.
    It's made me wonder if he's really that big of an asshole of if he just gets his jollies off trolling and internet bullying (not much better/different, really).
    Ugh.
    Some examples include bashing lesbians, transgender, drag queens, and saying that men should not be allowed to have top knots, and that he'd cut one of of a stranger if he got the chance.
    And then I'll get the invite to one of his get togethers, and I just don't know if I can overlook what I've read him saying. Why can't everyone just not be a douchebag?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2015 11:06 PM GMT
    You might wanna remind him that even if his profile is private, others can still screencap his posts, repost them elsewhere, and get him fired.
  • Pyre85

    Posts: 213

    Sep 05, 2015 11:08 PM GMT
    It would definitely serve him right. :/
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 1034

    Sep 06, 2015 1:32 AM GMT
    Unfortunately, the internet seems to be used as an outlet for a lot of people's repressed angst. They'll say things online they'd never, ever say to anyone's face because they have this completely unrealistic illusion of anonymity. Yes, even when it's their Facebook page, and their real name and photo are right out there in the open.

    So, the question is this: Which is the real guy? The real-life caring friend, or the online dickhead? Is he only venting online to purge a load of crap out of his soul, or is he secretly hating people left and right while pretending to be a good guy?

    You should talk to him about it. Obviously he knows you can see his Facebook posts. Tell him you're a little disturbed by some of the things he wrote, and you'd like to talk it out. His response to this will tell you all you need to know.

    We all have ugly spots that we try to hide, even from our best friends. Some people feel the need to vent, and simply make poor choices about where and when.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2015 2:11 AM GMT
    bro4bro saidUnfortunately, the internet seems to be used as an outlet for a lot of people's repressed angst. They'll say things online they'd never, ever say to anyone's face because they have this completely unrealistic illusion of anonymity. Yes, even when it's their Facebook page, and their real name and photo are right out there in the open.

    So, the question is this: Which is the real guy? The real-life caring friend, or the online dickhead? Is he only venting online to purge a load of crap out of his soul, or is he secretly hating people left and right while pretending to be a good guy?

    You should talk to him about it. Obviously he knows you can see his Facebook posts. Tell him you're a little disturbed by some of the things he wrote, and you'd like to talk it out. His response to this will tell you all you need to know.

    We all have ugly spots that we try to hide, even from our best friends. Some people feel the need to vent, and simply make poor choices about where and when.
    ^ Smart man
  • mybud

    Posts: 11832

    Sep 06, 2015 2:19 AM GMT
    If it walks like a duck...swims like a duck...quacks like a duck......................It's a DUCK.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2015 2:59 AM GMT
    mybud saidIf it walks like a duck...swims like a duck...quacks like a duck......................It's a DUCK.
    If it swings like a dick...tastes like a dick...feels like a dick......................It's a DUCK!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2015 8:47 PM GMT
    On the internet, people let their guards down and their true self comes out. Trolling? That's not an excuse. I bet he thinks those same thoughts in real life, but doesn't act on it because he knows he'll get punched in the face.

    So yeah, your friend is an asshole. Love him for who he is, or put him in the acquaintance zone and find new friends. Not a tough choice. You're relatively young and pretty. You shouldn't have any problems finding new people to hang out with. Or better yet, just steal his good friends and push him out of the circle. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2015 10:02 PM GMT
    bro4bro saidUnfortunately, the internet seems to be used as an outlet for a lot of people's repressed angst. They'll say things online they'd never, ever say to anyone's face because they have this completely unrealistic illusion of anonymity. Yes, even when it's their Facebook page, and their real name and photo are right out there in the open.

    So, the question is this: Which is the real guy? The real-life caring friend, or the online dickhead? Is he only venting online to purge a load of crap out of his soul, or is he secretly hating people left and right while pretending to be a good guy?

    You should talk to him about it. Obviously he knows you can see his Facebook posts. Tell him you're a little disturbed by some of the things he wrote, and you'd like to talk it out. His response to this will tell you all you need to know.

    We all have ugly spots that we try to hide, even from our best friends. Some people feel the need to vent, and simply make poor choices about where and when.


    Well put and thought out. Screen snip the Facebook comments and hand it to him. There's nothing like holding your hate in your hands. If his face isn't ashen or bright red he's the "other' bad guy.

    He may be bi-polar?
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Sep 07, 2015 3:54 PM GMT
    I suggest we find this guy who is working that top knot so his opponent can't grab it and place to two in an alley. Lol. That should solve the problem. icon_wink.gif

    photo TopKnot_zpschbd9edq.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2015 4:11 PM GMT
    I don't understand
    Apparently it's straight guy's that have "top knot".
    and I too fantasize cutting them off; those, braided beards and handlebar mustaches...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2015 4:12 PM GMT
    I had a friend for about 20 years who was nice enough to me (though he did have a cutting humor) but man could he be nasty to others. We met when I was younger and out to save the world. He's highly intelligent and I found that attractive. And he can be funny as hell, seriously excellent abilities of observation.

    So being a young fool I thought he'd become a better person if he saw how nicely I treat the waiters. But over the years, his behavior got worse. For most of our relationship I didn't say anything directly unless he did something really horrible but then it was getting dangerous and so I did complain adamantly but to no effect.

    The earlier stupid stuff was him treating the waiters terribly with me overcompensatingly nice so they'd only spit in his food, not mine. He would do stuff like turn his brights on a group of black kids on a sidewalk while driving in their direction. Yet he thought of and otherwise presented himself as a humanitarian. He was a humanitarian who happened to hate humans.

    When I ended the relationship was when it got physical. Our last two times together was him driving and speeding up to force a woman back on the curb who was trying to cross the street. I yelled at him for that one. And then last time was him speeding up to make a hunched over elderly guy walk faster than he should across a restaurant parking lot. I screamed at him, "what the fuck are you doing." And that was it. I never called him again.