Need advice in my relationship, I am in a dillema.


  • Sep 06, 2015 2:31 PM GMT
    My post will be a little long, full of grammer mistakes since english is not my native language.

    I really want advice, anything will do, on my relationship thing, now I am about to get mad. Today I had a really bad day, and was searching on Google about how to to know if someone is in a relationship with a psycho. I think my partner fits the description totally... And I think I should also take the blame.

    Back ground story:
    I got curious about my sexuality when I was 20, got into relationship with someone online, who was 1500 kms away from me, so it was long distance, I really like that guy, not to say that I loved him. But then moved to another city for studies and wanted to have some fun, so we broke up coz long distance relationship doesnt work, I thought.

    Next scenes, here enters my ncurrent bf. At first when we met, it felt like its not gonna work becoz, first we both were more top and second tht he was totally opposite of what I wanted. He was an alcohol addict, was emotionally immature, almost child like, and alone. All in all he was very in secure.
    We started meeting offen, coz we both were new in the city, and started spending time. Then after some time we got into relationship after lots of discussion, like my reasons for not coming out and his alcohol addiction, which is very bad coz he go on full psycho after drinking some vodka.
    I think the reason we got into relationship was love and also other benefits, benefits were mutual, as in any other relationship and also becoz I thought that he was very innocent, my bf has a knack for Self destruction, like for example, he had come to this new city for doing his graduation, he enrolled in the University but didnt attend it coz he was feeling very in secure and lacks ofof Confidence, so he wasted his whole one year just doing nothing.


    Now the main part on which I want your advice:

    I think that he is so innocent and anyone can take advantage of him . so dont want to leave him.

    I love him.

    He is very controlling and possessive, like if anyone is gay and I talk to them, even if just as a friend, he gets jealous and starts crying and throw another of his tantrum

    He is emotionally very weak I think. Like for one incidence at one time he called on phone my ex, then my ex bf called him a concubine, I tried to calm everyone down. IMorning everything was fine but in night after consuming some vodka suits... He tried to beat me, and cut me with by breaking vodka bottle on me lol... I dont even know when I was sleeping. So he had done things like that. We broke upup butbI didnt left him alone, I was afraid that he might dp some stupid things to him Self.


    The most fucked up part is I proposed him again, because he was too sexy, and I thought I am in love with him and shouldnt leave him alone or he is gonna Self destruct him Self. Even his family members say that now only I can save him. They think I am his best friend.

    But even after that his bitching and fighting didnt stopped. And the worst things happened in the last 1 week... When I am not with, and in another state, visiting my family.

    Though we almost fight daily and its a common routine now, but on 29th August day I started talking about how his anniversary plan for us is bad, but he got sad and angry and started drinking Then in the middle of the night went to another guys house, who is known for one night stand, a SLUT should be a perfect adjective for him. There he met 2-3 more guyz.. ND he was almost raped there, but he got out some how., I didnt knew about this but he told me about This incident on our first anniversary.
    He even blamed me for it, that because of me he felt so in secure that he wanted to talk to someone and he didnt go there for sex.

    Again I got into his words. And we patch up, I even said that I wont keep any contact with any gay person of thats what he wants and thats what it takes to improve this relationship. He said OK and promised me he wont drink alcohol now and will improve. Yesterday he promised me that.

    Now today we started talking, had some nice discussion funny and romantic ones... But after some time it turned into an argument.
    Actually the fault is mine, I thought that I can be a little play full, thinking that everything is settled now. But I burnt a hornets nest by saying to him that after I complete my degree, I might have to go somewhere and then we might not be together.

    Then he OK, and stopped responding to my msgs, ND texted I love you.
    I thought he got angry... But
    After an hour he texted me, saying sorry. And how much he loves me and how I am the best
    But he said sorry, and then said now I should use condoms with him coz he is in bed with someone else. And also he took tht injection drug. And by the looks of it, he was barely able to text.... So might have taken the drug... I dont know for sure...

    I am unable to sleep after this... And worried and angry or both. I think my mind is gonna explode this very next moment. I think I have to draw a line now.
    But again considering his immature behavior, should I give him one more chance? Becoz if I am not there to support him,emotionally, then soon his life will turn into gutters.
    My life is already a hell, I really had so many Beautiful
    and unforgetable experience with him, that I dont want to give up.
    But considering these blunders that he is intentionally making to control me.... I dont know what to do.
    I just want peace and love...

    Plz help me out anyone.
    I am doomed if I leave him, and doomed if I dont
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2015 2:57 PM GMT
    THREAD MUSIC!

    If you looooooooove somebody...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2015 3:32 PM GMT
    Yes, your English pronunciation is very bad. From what I have concluded though is that your lover is in a depressive state or he has a drinking problem, or at the worst he is having an affair. Your relationship with this guy is based on insecurities, 'Your insecurities'. Somehow, this guy is feeding on your insecurities. He drinks, fights and becomes abusive, knowing that because you love him you will be the one who forgives. You will be the one to grovel and forgive and come crawling back. I think, you best close the chapter on this book, before you get seriously hurt. Also pull the wool off of your eyes, so you can see.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 06, 2015 5:47 PM GMT
    There is no reason to think that your future with this guy will be any better than your past has been. This is what it is like to be in a relationship with an alcoholic. If that is what you want, you know your future. If you want something different, break it off.

  • Sep 07, 2015 4:30 AM GMT
    Thanks for the commentscomments guys, I really needed some advice.

    Another update is that my partner is now saying sorry, but when I didnt listened then he started blaming me that I wanted to leave him before only, and I just made a plan.
    Plus also he didnt slept with anyone, he says.
    I think its a kind of mind Game.
    I dontdont know what else to say, except that relationships are so fking complex.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 08, 2015 11:41 AM GMT
    Princeofsand0007 saidThanks for the commentscomments guys, I really needed some advice.

    Another update is that my partner is now saying sorry, but when I didnt listened then he started blaming me that I wanted to leave him before only, and I just made a plan.
    Plus also he didnt slept with anyone, he says.
    I think its a kind of mind Game.
    I dontdont know what else to say, except that relationships are so fking complex.

    You're friend or partner is abusive, even more when he is drunk. In abusive relationships, what the abusive person wants is to see their partner break down. Then as soon as they reach their objective, out come the flowers, gifts and a Shit load of apologies. Things go well for a few days, then the cycle of abuse begins all over. You need to make a choice, live in a topsy-turvey relationship or get out while you still can.