Casual gay sex,ethics&morals

  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Sep 09, 2015 2:32 PM GMT
    I know this topic has been discussed many times.
    But when I want to have sex for fun I feel very confused stressed and I back down,I feel that doing sex with a stranger just for fun& for the sake of sex will devalue''objectify ''me,and I will regret doing it for the rest of my life...I don't know if my thoughts are true or if it is just in my head...Now I know some people will agree and disagree with me.
    But at the end of the day,where is the evidence& the facts for both opinions???coz this will solve a confusion running through my head for a long time.

    sorry if my English is bad,not my mother tongue.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Sep 09, 2015 3:11 PM GMT
    You'd be right if you were a girl in the 18th century. The whole virgin thing was designed to ensure that a man not have to pay to raise another man's child. And to guarantee if his wife had a kid, it would be his genetic material, not some other guy's. Other than that, and disease, there is no logical reason for virginity. You need to start thinking for yourself, not just regurgitating what you hear others say. Personally, I would consider a male virgin of less value than a man who knows what to do. Do you really think the universe is watching and cares what you put in your mouth or arse? Please...
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Sep 09, 2015 3:35 PM GMT
    You could also regret not doing it for the rest of your life. Maybe just be very careful with who you chose to be with. If it's someone you have real chemistry with then you should not feel devalued by it. You should feel validated, invigorated, and better than ever. That said, you don't want to have sex for the first time with someone you're not into, just because you can. If you feel like someone is using you, and it's a one way attraction, then you could end up feeling objectified and devalued.

    Either way, I think the most regrettable thing would be to not even try.
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    Sep 09, 2015 4:54 PM GMT
    It seems safer than engaging some of the crap on this forum. At least after sex you can wash and get tested.
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    Sep 09, 2015 5:41 PM GMT
    Agree with Destinharbor and Hottjoe. Have never met a gay guy who regretted "losing his virginity." Just choose a nice guy.

    In your situation, it might be safer for you to start with a tourist or visiting businessman - someone who will not be around for an extended time period, and with whom there is little chance of your activities being accidentally discovered by your Arab acquaintances.
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Sep 09, 2015 5:54 PM GMT


    Having sex for fun DOES devalue you. Its no different then bungie jumping or racing a car, totally unnecessary. However, some might say going on vacation or eating something sweet is superfluous too. As you get older, you'll get over yourself and learn to appreciate the value in slumming it and that even when you are focused and completely above board, everyone figures you have casual sex anyway. Just be safe when you're flat on your face.





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    Sep 09, 2015 7:36 PM GMT
    meezo said I feel that doing sex with a stranger . . .

    He won't be a "stranger" after the first night, so meet someone for a short affair.

    If your gay orientation trip to Prague or Budapest or wherever got cancelled because of your friend finding out, plan your next trip to some gay vacation destination, don't tell your friends you are going, and find a guy for a short affair. Nothing like being on vacation to release inhibitions and make guys "available."
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    Sep 10, 2015 3:58 AM GMT
    Honestly, you have to do what works best for you and really think for yourself.
    Are those beliefs of yours, are they inherited or truly how you feel?
    Make the distinction and stick to your gut feeling.
    There are a lot of pressure out there from gay guys & expectations of gay guys to be slutty and stuff, but it is whatever you are most comfortable with.
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    Sep 10, 2015 4:46 AM GMT
    meezo saidCasual gay sex,ethics&morals
    Sex is a natural behavior.
    Ethics are socially constructed to control behavior.
    Morals are culturally constructed to control ethics.

    ...or something like that.
  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Sep 10, 2015 10:14 PM GMT
    Thank u very much guys for trying to help me on this,and for caring.
    I have a question and noway &by no means I am trying to be disrespectful,I am really trying to change my thinking about it.
    If casual sex is really ok and nothing wrong about it,would you accept your sister to have casual sex with a guy for the purpose of fun???"not for Ltr". If she considers him a good guy.
    Sorry again if the question sounds offensive and maybe inappropriate.
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    Sep 10, 2015 10:49 PM GMT
    meezo saidThank u very much guys for trying to help me on this,and for caring.
    I have a question and noway &by no means I am trying to be disrespectful,I am really trying to change my thinking about it.
    If casual sex is really ok and nothing wrong about it,would you accept your sister to have casual sex with a guy for the purpose of fun???"not for Ltr". If she considers him a good guy.
    Sorry again if the question sounds offensive and maybe inappropriate.


    In society it has long been hypocritical, if a girl has a lot of sex she's a 'slut' if a guy has a lot of sex he's a 'stud.'

    There was a sexual liberation with 'the pill' in the early 60s. Now women could be free to sexually experiment without the risk and fear of pregnancy. Sure there were condoms, and abortion if the worst happened. But here a woman could prevent it proactively as her choice.

    I'm pretty sure my 3 sisters were on the pill. Some before and after marriage. My one sister in particular was pretty 'fun loving' but discrete. She didn't brag about it (maybe to her girl friends?) like a guy might. Yes, I absolutely think it should be fun. To relegate sex to a duty is depressing! Even for a sister.

    Women function differently than men. Romance, comfort and protection are important....for some. But if you read Cosmo or seen 'Sex in the City' you'd know there is a wide range. Your sister is her own being. Respect that and your own self.


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    Sep 10, 2015 11:22 PM GMT
    If my sister were 29 and still a virgin, I'd feel horrible for her.
    Sex is amazing and dare I say healthy...
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    Sep 10, 2015 11:30 PM GMT
    Ethics and morals are personal things, so you have to decide for yourself if casual encounters fit with your own morality.
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    Sep 11, 2015 12:08 AM GMT
    I also have three sisters. But I would be so broken if I found out any of them were sleeping around. Don't even want to accept that the little one is probably active now. She's my little angel.

    Though I'd be angry and lecture them, I would apologize for "over reactive" a little while later. (But secretly smile inside cause I know they'll seriously think about what I said. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif ) Its one of those things I need to know but really don't want to know.

    Im a bit protective and old school. But they always be my girls. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Sep 12, 2015 3:05 PM GMT
    meezo saidThank u very much guys for trying to help me on this,and for caring.
    I have a question and noway &by no means I am trying to be disrespectful,I am really trying to change my thinking about it.
    If casual sex is really ok and nothing wrong about it,would you accept your sister to have casual sex with a guy for the purpose of fun???"not for Ltr". If she considers him a good guy.
    Sorry again if the question sounds offensive and maybe inappropriate.


    No, I wouldn't because I know women can't have sex for fun. They aren't wired that way. Gay guys, please stop comparing your sexual destiny to women. Sex is a TOOL for women plain and simple like a blade or a gun. Every beguiling intimation, every velvet gesture is strategy. As a gay man, you may be calculating, but you have nothing on the female animal. Both of my sisters slept around, but I didn't feel bad because I knew it was web slinging and nothing more to them than casual sex is for you. You just do the act because you enjoy it. Women love mapping and setting up wars. Their pussies are their killing fields. YOUR fucking gay life is not dark - the hetero world is and the things that go bump in the night over there ... you cannot comprehend it.