Moving to a larger city for the purpose of finding a partner?

  • Yatsufusa

    Posts: 23

    Sep 09, 2015 7:29 PM GMT
    Hello, I know I am young, but it is frustrating when I see all of my friends in relationships and dating. I lived in a small town, and now I am in an even smaller town for University (I am in my second year now). I have never been on an actual date, I have had many, many hookups, but that's really the only kind of interaction I am getting from gay guys in my area.

    Should I move to a larger city for a shot at love? Montreal maybe? Or should I just wait it out? I do like big cities anyway...but the problem is that it might be hard to change Universities with having to transfer credits...but is my happiness worth it ?
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14303

    Sep 09, 2015 9:52 PM GMT
    Yatsufusa saidHello, I know I am young, but it is frustrating when I see all of my friends in relationships and dating. I lived in a small town, and now I am in an even smaller town for University (I am in my second year now). I have never been on an actual date, I have had many, many hookups, but that's really the only kind of interaction I am getting from gay guys in my area.

    Should I move to a larger city for a shot at love? Montreal maybe? Or should I just wait it out? I do like big cities anyway...but the problem is that it might be hard to change Universities with having to transfer credits...but is my happiness worth it ?
    Stick around in the smaller town for awhile and give it sufficient time. Big cities are not all what they are cracked up to be plus most big cities are very expensive.
  • Yatsufusa

    Posts: 23

    Sep 09, 2015 10:28 PM GMT
    Also, to be clear: I'm not actually in Halifax...I'm in Wolfville, it's just that they only have Halifax, and like two other bigger cities in NS that are listed by location on this site.

    And are you sure that's a good idea when there is literally ZERO gay community here? It's really hard to meet guys, only place is Grindr, and that's mostly REALLY older men (not that I have anything against older men, I just have preferences) that just want sex.
  • Amira

    Posts: 327

    Sep 09, 2015 10:54 PM GMT
    If you're looking for happiness you could consider what will be best for your transition into a career once you have completed university. Love can only supplement happiness that already exists.
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    Sep 10, 2015 12:56 AM GMT
    It isn't necessarily easier to find love and a relationship in bigger cities. Yes, there are a lot of gays here in Montreal (and SO many hot ones!) but because there are so many options most of them don't want to settle down. Focus on yourself and being the best version of yourself you can be. I agree with the guy above, you bring your happiness to a relationship. Some dude isn't going to make you happy. To expect him to is to place entirely too much pressure on them. He will bring his happiness to add to and enhance your happiness.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4862

    Sep 10, 2015 1:33 AM GMT
    Since you are only 18 you should be concentrating on furthering your education. If that requires moving to a bigger city then do so for that reason if you can. Once you have become better educated it will be time to look seriously for a partner. If you do that too soon and become badly hurt you may find it exceedingly difficult to concentrate on your studies.
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    Sep 10, 2015 2:15 AM GMT
    FRE0 saidSince you are only 18 you should be concentrating on furthering your education. If that requires moving to a bigger city then do so for that reason if you can. Once you have become better educated it will be time to look seriously for a partner. If you do that too soon and become badly hurt you may find it exceedingly difficult to concentrate on your studies.
    ^wisdom
  • Nhlakz

    Posts: 149

    Sep 10, 2015 7:52 AM GMT
    Hang in the for a while...im not young as u r but single by choice...most young gay men hvnt figured out what they want...and u hv a great future ahead of u..
  • tictactoe

    Posts: 29

    Sep 10, 2015 8:25 AM GMT
    You have plenty of time. If it makes you feel any better, I've been single for 32 years. And I've always lived in a decent-sized city/metro...

  • Yatsufusa

    Posts: 23

    Sep 10, 2015 4:25 PM GMT
    Thanks everyone, I appreciate the advice (and from the people who PM'd me too). I still have a lot of thinking to do.
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    Sep 11, 2015 1:21 AM GMT
    Go to a university, find yourself and get a job close to that city. Montreal sounds fine or Toronto or any big US cities.
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    Sep 12, 2015 6:17 PM GMT
    Love is not the be-all and end-all in life. If you find it now, fine. But if not, it can wait until after you are finished at University (and there are always summer vacations, I would guess). At your age, you should be concentrating on your education and career goals. Where you attend University should be decided based on what your academic and career interests are, not where you might find a love relationship.

    The odds of finding a long term relationship in rural Nova Scotia are slim - but if you did start one - what happens when you leave University and go to graduate school or to a job somewhere else? End of relationship and heartache (most likely). So, be patient and study hard.
  • spirou

    Posts: 38

    Sep 18, 2015 11:00 PM GMT
    remember that appartement in montreal can cost up to 1000 to 2000 a month . it something to think on .

    montreal and quebec city do have larger communauty .

    gay bar or sauna or just place to hang out as open gay .

    i live near sherbrooke and their no sush thing . unless you work with some , the only way i know on how to meet them is with internet dating site .

    it not the same thing as when you'r there in person .
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    Sep 19, 2015 8:44 PM GMT
    There are more Gays in the city. Duh. Especially in college towns. You are 18 and hormones are raging.Lol

    When I was 18 I moved from my rural town to Mpls. For school and MYSELF. Growing up is about life. It's not just text books. Do both. Don't let either overwhelm you.

    You may find the love of your life at the Student Union. Enjoy! It's a hell of a journey!