Any tips on meeting a sweet and nice guy?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2015 2:28 PM GMT
    I have been trying on Grindr and OKcupid, and it's quite pathetic. I feel like giving up on all! I am confident about my look, and it's just I can't seem to find the right guy who would is interested. I just want to meet a cute, sweet, and [s]nice guy[/s]. But, guys want to act all tough and shit even though they be sucking dicks and getting fucked.

    Whenever the conversation is going, I am the one asking questions just to keep the flow going; I feel like trying hard. They won't even try to ask me questions. I don't sound desperate person rather a friendly guy wanting to find friends. No one even visits my profile on OKcupid; I look fem even though I am neither fem or masculine.

    I am optimistic and a ball of energy, and I am down to explore and do anything; everyday is a gift and we ought to live it. I also have goals of helping kids in ghetto areas since I am from there; I have great futures; worked in #1 company in the US look it up. Anyway, this creates insecurities and questions inside me "Oh, will I ever meet the person I am looking for? I dont' want to keep trying. I shouldn't be trying. But, how am I going to meet the person if I am not trying. Blah blah blah." I have great tons of friends, but not a single gay friend. Why am I wishing that others would see what I am inside? What are all these frustration?

    Guys I really need perspective and your advice. After all I am a 22 years old guy who still have a lot to learn.

    I apologize to rant it out here; I just don't have any friends who can see from a gay person's perspective.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2015 2:43 PM GMT
    joovi saidAny tips on meeting a sweet and nice guy?
    Yeah...they don't exist. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2015 3:04 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    joovi saidAny tips on meeting a sweet and nice guy?
    Yeah...they don't exist. icon_lol.gif


    Haha aren't we all here for that? You can take out the nice part. lol
  • marty111

    Posts: 5

    Sep 10, 2015 3:07 PM GMT
    lot's of nice guys out there just keep looking
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2015 3:09 PM GMT
    Search foreign countries. Most Americans have limited intellectual abilities and are raised to be shallow and moronic by choice. I only speak with Americans for business, otherwise I avoid the imbecilic and banal like a plague.
  • marty111

    Posts: 5

    Sep 10, 2015 3:16 PM GMT
    I guess you are doomed to be alone the rest of your life with that kind of attitude.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2015 5:02 PM GMT
    I'm of a different generation, so my opinion might not be relevant, but I think it is.

    You probably won't have much in common with guys you meet on Grindr because most are looking for one thing. Seems like you're trying too hard. Instead, focus on things you like to do and meet people with common interests, such as at the gym, maybe cycling, hiking, rock climbing clubs. Are there even gay sports clubs or activities in your area?
  • gym0711

    Posts: 20

    Sep 10, 2015 5:28 PM GMT
    Joovi, I think that you will encounter more shallowness when you're looking for a potential bf on the Internet. It's just too easy to click away at profiles when there are pages and pages to navigate. I think the best thing for you is to visit bars or clubs and try to meet as many people as you can. It will give you some practice with your social skills to meet new people and just carry on a conversation. I know this because I was in a similar situation once.

    Also just ignore the jerks who want to throw everyone in the same box and are negative. Obviously all guys are NOT the same, in any country.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2015 5:50 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidSearch foreign countries. Most Americans have limited intellectual abilities and are raised to be shallow and moronic by choice. I only speak with Americans for business, otherwise I avoid the imbecilic and banal like a plague.


    #Truth icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2015 6:45 PM GMT
    i am sweet and nice
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Sep 10, 2015 6:51 PM GMT
    bonaparts saidi am sweet and nice

    only when you want a cookie
  • Thicktoes

    Posts: 28

    Sep 10, 2015 6:54 PM GMT
    met a nice guy here on rj- checked out his profile then hit him up- to my surprise he was smart and easy to talk with. we met up one day and it was a match-been together ever since.
    you gotta put yourself out there-if the guy aint worth it cool but if he is then all your effert was worth it. worked for me-
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2015 7:00 PM GMT
    Try being social. Actually talk to a guy that catches your interest. I had dinner with a dude last night that admitted he had a crush on me 5 years ago. He said he purposely ignored me because of that. I had to do all the work to get him out of that ignore-the-guy -you -are -crushing- on mode when I wanted to take him home one night. My last FB said the same exact same thing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 10, 2015 7:55 PM GMT
    socalfitness said... focus on things you like to do and meet people with common interests, such as at the gym, maybe cycling, hiking, rock climbing clubs.
    Exactly. Do the things that make you happy and you'll meet others who enjoy doing the same things. Bars/baths are difficult places to meet nice guys, not because such men aren't around, but the surroundings in a bar are not conducive to talking and sharing.
    Run, bike, yoga, hike, archery, singing, theater, dogs, camping, gardening, volunteering, ... Plenty of hobbies where you will make friends, some of whom will be gay or have gay friends to introduce you. Try http://gay.meetup.com/cities/us/co/denver/ for activities in your area. Good luck!
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    Sep 10, 2015 11:04 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    bonaparts saidi am sweet and nice

    only when you want a cookie


    That's not true icon_smile.gif
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 800

    Sep 11, 2015 12:08 AM GMT
    joovi saidI have been trying on Grindr and OKcupid, and it's quite pathetic. I just want to meet a cute, sweet, and [s]nice guy[/s]. But, guys want to act all tough and shit even though they be sucking dicks and getting fucked.

    Whenever the conversation is going, I am the one asking questions just to keep the flow going; I feel like trying hard. They won't even try to ask me questions. I don't sound desperate person rather a friendly guy wanting to find friends. No one even visits my profile on OKcupid;


    Do as you do--KEEP TAKING THE INITIATIVE. View profiles and send those little positive, HUMOROUS comments and OBSERVATIONS.

    Me? I might praise someone's visual beauty, then try using a bit of humor. For instance, there was a fellow with a truly beautiful physique to match his facial good-looks. But his written profile contained: "Will fill this out later"

    I sent a note quoting the above and said "You mean as in NEVER? You'll just let that porn-quality body do all of the talking". He wrote back to say that my comment got him to laugh.

    Humor works to break the ice every time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2015 1:07 AM GMT
    Thank you guys; this is really sweet. I just joined the LGBT hiking group. icon_biggrin.gif Actually, I am very social if I click with the group. People say that I am a happy person, and give out positive energy. One of my friends told me that people want to be around me, but I just have to get out more. I guess that I am not very open to them I guess. Since I work with computers most of the time; I have to stick by the computers. By the way, where I live has like 0 gays; i mean like really few and most of them aren't my types. Anyway, I will give the meetups a try; I don't drive. But, I will still try.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2015 1:22 AM GMT
    They all became mean and jaded after *sleeping around with all the other gay guys in the gay community!! icon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_redface.gificon_wink.gificon_lol.gificon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2015 9:04 AM GMT
    Well if this site is anything to go by, I'd say it's even rarer and harder than a needle in a haystack.
    More like a single grain of sand in 100 haystacks trying to find an actual legit nice GAY guy.

    I mean not that all straight guys are just wonderful, and it's also probably because there are a lot more straight guys than gay guys, but I think straight guys are generally a better sort than gay guys.

    Gay guys are okay at best and that's usually before their ongoing slut phase.

    One that thing surprises me, but the thread is still young so you never know, is that I thought there would be at least a few more older white guys with an Asian fetish trying to indirectly market themselves up to you.

    Anyway here's a real question, are you looking for a partner of a particular race or are you open to all races?
    Also, are you looking for a monogamous LTR, or hook ups or open relationships?
    Most gay Asian men in the U.S. generally prefer white guys and the problem there is that most young gay white guys are into other white guys.

    Unless you are happy being an Asian twink to an old guy then I suppose you have a higher chance of finding someone.

    There is more of a chance of finding someone closer to your own age if you are open to other races but that's of your own discretion.
    On RJ I think I remember seeing one Black guy who was into Asians, don't know his username though I just remember reading it once.
    What you're looking for will either increase or decrease your chances of finding something.

    Anyway for the guys who are going to get butt hurt from what I just said, it's the truth so you can bite me.
    You don't have to look far, even the countless threads about what I just said on this very forum is evidence enough it exists.
    I was saying all this as matter-of-factly as possible.

    All that aside I genuinely do wish you luck.
  • ASHDOD

    Posts: 1057

    Sep 11, 2015 2:55 PM GMT
    its like winning a lotary,just a matter of luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 11, 2015 3:45 PM GMT
    joovi said... I just have to get out more. I guess that I am not very open to them I guess. Since I work with computers most of the time; I have to stick by the computers ... I don't drive...
    did you see the usanetwork thingy "Mr Robot". Would you be able to avoid him or try to love someone like him? just saying develop a deal breaker list before you find mr right.
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    Sep 11, 2015 9:01 PM GMT
    DryMoan said
    Anyway here's a real question, are you looking for a partner of a particular race or are you open to all races?

    Yes, I am. I find all races attractive. Ofc, there are certain appearances that I am attracted to among them.

    DryMoan said
    Also, are you looking for a monogamous LTR, or hook ups or open relationships?

    I prefer monogamous, and I think sex should be fun as well as meaningful.

    DryMoan said
    Most gay Asian men in the U.S. generally prefer white guys and the problem there is that most young gay white guys are into other white guys.

    I can totally see this; this is basically psychology. According to Sigmund Freud people develop sexual attraction to the people around them when they are going through puberty. So, it makes sense.

    DryMoan said
    Unless you are happy being an Asian twink to an old guy then I suppose you have a higher chance of finding someone.

    I had been with an old white guy who is twice my age for a summer. He is really sweet, and it was a great summer. But, I learned that I can't see my future with an older guy.

    DryMoan said
    All that aside I genuinely do wish you luck.

    You are very sweet DryMoan; Ooo that name tho. icon_razz.gif

    Surprisingly, I never had this urge of being with a certain race. I have been seeing a lot of threads talking about white people and blah blah blah. For me, I don't get the feeling of augmented social status or whatever glorification that people are talking about. To be honest, this thought never came across to me until I start getting into online forums, and people be fighting one another. Tsk tsk. Well, I just want a guy that is kind and considerate.

    pellaz said
    joovi said... I just have to get out more. I guess that I am not very open to them I guess. Since I work with computers most of the time; I have to stick by the computers ... I don't drive...
    did you see the usanetwork thingy "Mr Robot". Would you be able to avoid him or try to love someone like him? just saying develop a deal breaker list before you find mr right.

    You are right;
    I like guys who are
    optimistic, open minded, spontaneous, honest, upfront, and cute. ofc. icon_smile.gif

    I don't' like guys who are
    pessimistic, cold, lazy, passive, too feminine

  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Sep 11, 2015 10:10 PM GMT
    Ashdod saidits like winning a lotary,just a matter of luck.

    Do people honestly think this way?icon_confused.gif

    Nearly all people have a nice side and a mean side, and their environment and choices will shape these two conflicting sides.

    Most people can be cruel, but they can also be very empathetic and feel terrible afterward and then try to be better.

    Unless they're a psychopath, in which case their brains are underdeveloped/don't function properly, but that's an actual disorder.
  • South_Howler

    Posts: 46

    Sep 12, 2015 1:11 AM GMT
    I don't know if Grindr, Scruff, etc are the best choices for looking for someone on a serious mindset. These are hook-up sites. What I do know is that I've had better luck finding a guy at a bar that I like than depending on apps.

    Networking is always good: check out where guys that are your type hang out.

    Also, don't spend too much time on it. The irony with some men is the fact that the cooler you play your cards, the more they'll be interested.

    Just live your life, and be open to what you want.
  • davfit

    Posts: 309

    Sep 12, 2015 3:32 AM GMT
    First calm down ..those sites are for sex ..look else where
    no not bars.. look to meet guys in your day to day living if that doesn't work change up your routine.