Need help!

  • NOLAman13

    Posts: 39

    Sep 15, 2015 3:05 AM GMT
    Hi, I am extremely anxious and nervous that I may have hiv. Back in May, I gave someone a very quick blowjob and I tasted his pre-cum. I did not finish the job because I got nervous. Few days later, I came down with a 24-hour fever and strep throat that lasted a few days. I was back to normal. A few weeks ago, I came down with a scratchy throat and was dry coughing. It lasted a month maybe longer but I stopped coughing yet my voice is still hoarse. During this time, I also had a couple of night sweats. Even during the day, I felt hot flashes and would sweat for no reason. Of course, stupid me, I looked up all the symptoms online and realized that GERD is one of the early HIV symptoms!!

    I'm so racked with shame and guilt for putting myself at risk and am extremely terrified!

    Can anyone talk some rationality into me so I can calm down!
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    Sep 15, 2015 3:07 AM GMT
    Go get a blood test!
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    Sep 15, 2015 3:20 AM GMT
    According to my knowledge, you CAN'T get an HIV from giving orals unless you mouth has opening to blood vessels. Here is the thing the amount of HIV present in the pre-cum is very low. Then, I am assuming you didn't have a giant opening in your mouth either. Even if you get infected in the beginning, your body will fight them off. So, what's the chance here? Very very low. So, please don't worry too much about the symptoms. They don't mean that you have an HIV. The ONLY way to know that you have an HIV is to get a blood test.

    According to aids.org
    "You cannot rely on symptoms to know whether you have HIV. The only way to know for sure if you are infected with HIV is to get tested."
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    Sep 15, 2015 3:21 AM GMT
    2Bnaked saidGo get a blood test!

    Agree. May is enough time for a blood test, or a mouth swab, to indicate HIV. Just get tested.
  • NOLAman13

    Posts: 39

    Sep 15, 2015 3:27 AM GMT
    I'm so terrified of going to the clinic, be judged and handed the death sentence. I KNOW it's my irrational thinking but I'm just anxious about the whole thing. I took an anxiety pill and two melatonins to calm me down. I plan to make an appointment tomorrow but I'm so terrified to follow through!!

    God, why am I so stupid!!
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    Sep 15, 2015 3:29 AM GMT
    NOLAman13 saidI'm so terrified of going to the clinic, be judged and handed the death sentence. I KNOW it's my irrational thinking but I'm just anxious about the whole thing. I took an anxiety pill and two melatonins to calm me down. I plan to make an appointment tomorrow but I'm so terrified to follow through!!

    God, why am I so stupid!!

    What you feel is normal. It must be really scary.
    But you must do it. You must, if you are this scared. No doubt about it. about getting the blood test I mean. At least for the sake of your mind.
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    Sep 15, 2015 3:34 AM GMT
    NOLAman13 saidI'm so terrified of going to the clinic, be judged and handed the death sentence. I KNOW it's my irrational thinking but I'm just anxious about the whole thing. I took an anxiety pill and two melatonins to calm me down. I plan to make an appointment tomorrow but I'm so terrified to follow through!!

    God, why am I so stupid!!


    No, you are not stupid. You are actually doing the right thing for the current situation. I understand what you are feeling coz I have been there. But, you don't want the anxiety to stick for long, do ya? So, tomorrow is a good day, and don't be terrified; everything will be fine. Even if you have HIV, you will live the same years as the non positive (may be even longer Wut? http://www.catie.ca/en/treatmentupdate/treatmentupdate-200/anti-hiv-agents/longer-life-expectancy-hiv-positive-people-north
    ) If you don't, that's great!
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Sep 15, 2015 3:39 AM GMT

    Calm down. You can give yourself symptoms if you obsess over them. I gave myself thrush once. Antibodies in your mouth kill it. He'd have to cum gallons in your mouth or you'd have to have serious dental problems to catch it that way, take a chill pill.

  • NOLAman13

    Posts: 39

    Sep 15, 2015 3:45 AM GMT
    Thank you all. I must make it to the testing facility tomorrow and get it done. Right now, I'm going to pray mighty hard for a good result.

    I still feel disgust for what I've done. I'll probably need to see a shrink after this regardless of the test result.

    I'm so afraid to sleep and wake up with a sweaty head.

    Ugh. All this is making too anxious. I probably need to take 2 more melatonin and another anxiety pill.
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    Sep 15, 2015 3:45 AM GMT
    NOLAman13 saidI'm so terrified of going to the clinic, be judged and handed the death sentence. I KNOW it's my irrational thinking but I'm just anxious about the whole thing. I took an anxiety pill and two melatonins to calm me down. I plan to make an appointment tomorrow but I'm so terrified to follow through!!

    God, why am I so stupid!!



    First of all.....

    • HIV is NOT a death sentence anymore. This isn't 1982! We have many members right here on RealJock who are positive and they are the picture of health with undetectable viral loads. They will likely live as long as you and I.

    • Secondly, I would bet a LARGE sum of money that you did not contract HIV from giving a blowjob. Unless you just had a tooth pulled and you sucked the guy as your mouth was dripping blood, I highly doubt you are positive. Please educate yourself about STD's. It will save you a lot of anxiety like this.

    • Get on PrEP. Every sexually active gay man should be taking it. Even if you have safer sex, you still should be on it.

    • Last but not least: GET A BLOOD TEST! Stop whining about how scary it is because nothing is as stressful as being in limbo. Shut up and just DO IT. NOAIDS Task Force tests almost every day and you get your results in 20 minutes.
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    Sep 15, 2015 3:48 AM GMT
    2Bnaked saidGo get a blood test!


    This has got to be the best answer. You need to get tested.
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Sep 15, 2015 3:51 AM GMT
    NOLAman13 saidThank you all. I must make it to the testing facility tomorrow and get it done. Right now, I'm going to pray mighty hard for a good result.

    I still feel disgust for what I've done. I'll probably need to see a shrink after this regardless of the test result.

    I'm so afraid to sleep and wake up with a sweaty head.

    Ugh. All this is making too anxious. I probably need to take 2 more melatonin and another anxiety pull.


    I'm sensing gay loathing here. What you have done? You do mean, what you have done in worrying yourself into a frenzy or are you referring to the blow job. I was like you - once - a long time ago. You can't pray or shrink the gay away. You can actually obsess over HIV symptoms and give them to yourself, which you have done. HI onset is described as the worse cold you've ever had followed by feeling fine. Nights sweats are more indicative of HIV to AIDS conversion. DO your research and relax , bro.

  • NOLAman13

    Posts: 39

    Sep 15, 2015 4:08 AM GMT
    Oceans_of_Flowers said
    NOLAman13 saidThank you all. I must make it to the testing facility tomorrow and get it done. Right now, I'm going to pray mighty hard for a good result.

    I still feel disgust for what I've done. I'll probably need to see a shrink after this regardless of the test result.

    I'm so afraid to sleep and wake up with a sweaty head.

    Ugh. All this is making too anxious. I probably need to take 2 more melatonin and another anxiety pull.


    I'm sensing gay loathing here. What you have done? You do mean, what you have done in worrying yourself into a frenzy or are you referring to the blow job. I was like you - once - a long time ago. You can't pray or shrink the gay away. You can actually obsess over HIV symptoms and give them to yourself, which you have done. HI onset is described as the worse cold you've ever had followed by feeling fine. Nights sweats are more indicative of HIV to AIDS conversion. DO your research and relax , bro.



    I'm sorry, you're right. I am working myself into a frenzy. What I mean is that I blew someone that I just met and that is not proper of me and I regret it. After that incident, I swore that I would not do that again.

    Since then, every little thing that pops up, I immediately think is HIV related. The dry cough, the hoarseness and the one big sweat one night, and two head sweats a few weeks later. Those are the only symptoms I'm experiencing so far and my mind just swings wildly at what else may pop up. I am trying to convince myself that I'm really fine and yes, I should get tested but I'm just so afraid. I know, I know...just shut up and do it.
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Sep 15, 2015 4:15 AM GMT
    ^ start by not worrying, follow by researching AIDS/HIV and symptoms, end by, when you're ready, getting tested. And conclude by understanding that any cock can be dangerous whether you know the guy or not and that you can take safety precautions that drastically lower your risk.

    ...one is dental hygiene. With good dental hygiene you can pretty much suck your own ticket. I know, you aren't ready for that revelation or to try it out. I've been sucking worse than dial up for over a decade, still negative.

    -and, I had night sweats all last week, but it was because my air conditioner was turning itself off at night in TEXAS. LOL, one phone call later and I'm dry as a bone again.

    Pregnancy can cause thrush and night sweats ---- so can anxiety. DO your research sweetie.
  • NOLAman13

    Posts: 39

    Sep 15, 2015 4:25 AM GMT
    My dental hygiene is okay. I brush every day but I don't have open sores. Haven't been to my dentist in two years because I don't have dental insurance until now.

    You know what, you all are right. I'm sorry to be a pain in the ass with my foolishness. I'm sorry guys. I will go get tested tomorrow.

    One last thing to show you how idiotic I am. My cat came to my side, sniffed at my mouth, gave me that judgmental look and jumped off the bed. You know where my crazy brain went?! Coo-coo....

    Again thank you all for your attention and advice. I feel somewhat better. Still nervous but better.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2015 4:29 AM GMT
    Get some attitude and stop crying!!!

    He's right........COCK IS DANGEROUS.....that's what you love!!!
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  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Sep 15, 2015 4:32 AM GMT
    ^Eeeewww, if I was sucking off these guys I would be nervous. icon_razz.gif
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    Sep 15, 2015 4:33 AM GMT
    Oceans_of_Flowers said^Eeeewww, if I was sucking off these guys I would be nervous. icon_razz.gif


    Oh, so your admitting to being a COCK SUCKING WHORE?? LOL hahah J/K

    Dudes, out of any sexual thing, a dong is a great thing to suck on!!
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Sep 15, 2015 4:35 AM GMT
    NOLAman13 saidMy dental hygiene is okay. I brush every day but I don't have open sores. Haven't been to my dentist in two years because I don't have dental insurance until now.


    You're fine. Oral sex is low risk, not no risk, but low, very low, and well it takes longer for a month for all of what you described to happen and its all brought on by a lowered immune system, which you won't get in a month.
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Sep 15, 2015 4:45 AM GMT
    2Bnaked said

    Dudes, out of any sexual thing, a dong is a great thing to suck on!!


    Yes, you should all ring a ding dong right now!
    .........................
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2015 4:59 AM GMT
    tumblr_m3ivu1wyeh1r48r21o1_500.png
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Sep 15, 2015 12:26 PM GMT
    ^ ok, but you don't have to cap at me. icon_razz.gif
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 803

    Sep 15, 2015 1:55 PM GMT
    NOLAman13 saidHi, I am extremely anxious and nervous that I may have hiv. Back in May, I gave someone a very quick blowjob and I tasted his pre-cum. I did not finish the job because I got nervous. Few days later, I came down with a 24-hour fever and strep throat that lasted a few days. I was back to normal. A few weeks ago, I came down with a scratchy throat and was dry coughing. It lasted a month maybe longer but I stopped coughing yet my voice is still hoarse. During this time, I also had a couple of night sweats. Even during the day, I felt hot flashes and would sweat for no reason. Of course, stupid me, I looked up all the symptoms online and realized that GERD is one of the early HIV symptoms!!

    I'm so racked with shame and guilt for putting myself at risk and am extremely terrified!

    Can anyone talk some rationality into me so I can calm down!


    Get a blood panel for HIV and STDs...likely free and confidential.
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 803

    Sep 15, 2015 1:57 PM GMT
    NOLAman13 saidI'm so terrified of going to the clinic, be judged and handed the death sentence. I KNOW it's my irrational thinking but I'm just anxious about the whole thing. I took an anxiety pill and two melatonins to calm me down. I plan to make an appointment tomorrow but I'm so terrified to follow through!!

    God, why am I so stupid!!


    You are not stupid...you are scared.
  • NOLAman13

    Posts: 39

    Sep 15, 2015 2:41 PM GMT
    I did not sleep well at all last night. Maybe two hours at most. My hair was wet again. Did not go back to sleep.

    So tired to get out of bed but will still go today and get it over with. I'm practically shaking and my stomach is in knots.

    Just found out that the testing center does not open until 4:30. Just prolongs the agony.