Anyone else just sick of life

  • Musicman91

    Posts: 1529

    Sep 19, 2015 4:20 PM GMT
    I know I am. I am stuck at a dead end job that I hate but can't get out of because I have to help support my family. I have no friends because pretty much everyone stopped taking to me when I came out.

    The only time I am happy is when I am at the gym but sometimes I wonder why I even bother going because it makes no difference I am still an ugly,fat useless piece of shit. And obviously not attractive at all because bascially anytime I message someone on here or Grindr, Scruff ect. They just ignore me.

    I read about people dying and think "Why couldn't it have been me?" I have no purpose on this earth and my life isnt going to get any better. So I just think "Whats the point?" We're all gonna die sometime.

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    Sep 19, 2015 4:28 PM GMT
    Yes, we're all going to die one day. But the fact that you're here means you have a purpose for being alive.

    I'm not a therapist but it sounds to me like you're clinically depressed. Just like our bodies get unbalanced at times which makes us sick, our brain chemistry can also get unbalanced which can make us "sick" or depressed. I'm not saying your problem is all chemical, but you need to see a professional to find out if that's the issue. If it is they can help you to feel like yourself again.

    Also, you're very handsome, which tells me you don't see yourself clearly. Just look at all the hot guys that have made photo comments on your pics. Think of how anorexic people look in the mirror and see a fat person, even though they're emaciated. A low self esteem can cause us to see ourselves as physically unattractive. A therapist can help you with your self esteem too.

    Can you remember a time when you were happy? What was that like?
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    Sep 19, 2015 4:32 PM GMT
    You live in Scranton, for fucks sake. Hbg. ain't much better, but still...cheer up, dude!

    Tough times don't last but tough people do.
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    Sep 19, 2015 4:41 PM GMT
    Half the people in Scranton prolly wanna die. Get the Hell out of there!

    A change of scenery, and prospects, can do wonders for your outlook. And at 24, you have all the outlook in the world.

    Time for you to take charge. Or else, don't take charge, and whither & die. Like I'm sure a lotta people in Scranton do.

    You're already born, and you're gonna die. Those are givens, you had no choice in that. HOW you're gonna live is the variable, that maybe you can control. So start controlling!
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Sep 20, 2015 12:40 AM GMT
    Hang on to the gym. Your feeling ugly, your dead end job, your allegiance to your family to your detriment, your lack of friends, or your reliance on hook up sites to seek validation have nothing to do with your looks. You could be a blazing HOT 1000 and still feel the same. and do the same things. Your only slipknot is the hope that working on yourself, fitness, will reinvigorate you. That hope will precipitate a focus on the real issues, one day and bring about change. Fitness brings people back from the brink of physical, emotional, and/ or spiritual infirmity.

  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Sep 20, 2015 12:52 AM GMT
    Musicman91 saidI know I am. I am stuck at a dead end job that I hate but can't get out of because I have to help support my family. I have no friends because pretty much everyone stopped taking to me when I came out.

    The only time I am happy is when I am at the gym but sometimes I wonder why I even bother going because it makes no difference I am still an ugly,fat useless piece of shit. And obviously not attractive at all because bascially anytime I message someone on here or Grindr, Scruff ect. They just ignore me.

    I read about people dying and think "Why couldn't it have been me?" I have no purpose on this earth and my life isnt going to get any better. So I just think "Whats the point?" We're all gonna die sometime.



    I think your a little cutie, but it doesn't matter what I think it matters what you think. I agree with some of the other members here, you sound depressed, but there are many people who are, yet fake like all is well. I wouldn't waste my time on internet dating, get out there and meet people. Attractive men message me all the time, and I ignore them because I'm not really looking for hook-ups.
    I just like the forums.

    If getting in shape is one of your goals, make that a priority. Try one of those 90 day transformation dvd sets like Body Beast, Insanity etc. Take it one day at a time.
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    Sep 20, 2015 1:00 AM GMT
    Hm, I had a similar talk with my grandmother one time, where I felt the pressure of life just gradually weighing on my shoulders, and I wanted to quit college.

    My grandmother wanted to show me something. She took out 3 items and laid them before me. A carrot, a potato, and an egg. She asked me. If one of these fell, what do you think would happen? I told her that only the egg would break. So she took me in the kitchen, and she started to boil water, and she boiled all 3 of them together in the same pot. After she took out all three of them out she said. "Felix, this carrot that you thought was tough, and strong has now became weak, and flimsy. The potato that was solid is now but a pile of mush, but this, the egg, the one that was the most frail, and fragile, is now solid, and strong. All three of these items went through the same trail, a hot and boiling water, yet the outcome showed me a new perspective in life.

    I owe a lot to my grandmother, she helped me when the tough times. Her wisdom is something I hope to one day acquire. So I hope one day, young man. That you will be able to see life in different perspective, and hope that it leads you to a similar journey.
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    Sep 20, 2015 1:03 AM GMT
    Musicman91 saidI know I am. I am stuck at a dead end job that I hate but can't get out of because I have to help support my family. I have no friends because pretty much everyone stopped taking to me when I came out.

    The only time I am happy is when I am at the gym but sometimes I wonder why I even bother going because it makes no difference I am still an ugly,fat useless piece of shit. And obviously not attractive at all because bascially anytime I message someone on here or Grindr, Scruff ect. They just ignore me.

    I read about people dying and think "Why couldn't it have been me?" I have no purpose on this earth and my life isnt going to get any better. So I just think "Whats the point?" We're all gonna die sometime.



    You are special and one of a kind, don't put your self worth into other peoples hands, just do whatever makes you happy, whatever it is icon_biggrin.gif, I am sure there is something you love, just concentrate on that and it will be ok :-)
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    Sep 20, 2015 1:06 AM GMT
    Talon saidHm, I had a similar talk with my grandmother one time, where I felt the pressure of life just gradually weighing on my shoulders, and I wanted to quit college.

    My grandmother wanted to show me something. She took out 3 items and laid them before me. A carrot, a potato, and an egg. She asked me. If one of these fell, what do you think would happen? I told her that only the egg would break. So she took me in the kitchen, and she started to boil water, and she boiled all 3 of them together in the same pot. After she took out all three of them out she said. "Felix, this carrot that you thought was tough, and strong has now became weak, and flimsy. The potato that was solid is now but a pile of mush, but this, the egg, the one that was the most frail, and fragile, is now solid, and strong. All three of these items went through the same trail, a hot and boiling water, yet the outcome showed me a new perspective in life.

    I owe a lot to my grandmother, she helped me when the tough times. Her wisdom is something I hope to one day acquire. So I hope one day, young man. That you will be able to see life in different perspective, and hope that it leads you to a similar journey.


    i don't think a cooking lesson was what he was asking for icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Sep 20, 2015 1:50 AM GMT
    Please don't think of hurting yourself.

    You have numerous people in here willing to talk with you if you need it. You are not alone buddy.
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    Sep 20, 2015 1:56 AM GMT
    “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”~~Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Try doing volunteer work for a while and see if that makes you feel better. Your profile says you sing and you play piano and clarinet. Other interests include nature, travel, reading, iced coffee, animals and cooking.

    I'm not sure if iced coffee is really a hobby but you could sing, play piano or give a clarinet recitals maybe at a local nursing home or an orphanage or maybe a hospital cancer ward, stuff like that. Or maybe there's a VA near you, or any hospital. They always need extra help at the front desk or helping clients get around, whatever.

    dalai-lama13.jpg


    I've done work at hospitals, nothin' special, just whatever they need done. And my mom used to drive cancer patients to treatment before she couldn't handle driving anymore. Plus my family was involved in Coast Guard Auxiliary, inspecting boats responding to calls for help, towing as needed, and my nephew is or was in civil air patrol, so was my dad in his youth. Involve yourself.

    Happiness-on-impact.jpg

    It's a cliché but it works: helping others helps yourself. Unless you're a Republican, then you just fuck people over to feel better.

    Click here http://bfy.tw/1siP

    Look at that, you even have a Ronald McDonald house. Go for it. Get involved. And that alone might open up other opportunities for you, once you put yourself out there.

    dalai-lama-quotes.jpg


    “I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace.”~~the Dalai Lama
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    Sep 20, 2015 2:13 AM GMT
    bonaparts said
    Talon saidHm, I had a similar talk with my grandmother one time, where I felt the pressure of life just gradually weighing on my shoulders, and I wanted to quit college.

    My grandmother wanted to show me something. She took out 3 items and laid them before me. A carrot, a potato, and an egg. She asked me. If one of these fell, what do you think would happen? I told her that only the egg would break. So she took me in the kitchen, and she started to boil water, and she boiled all 3 of them together in the same pot. After she took out all three of them out she said. "Felix, this carrot that you thought was tough, and strong has now became weak, and flimsy. The potato that was solid is now but a pile of mush, but this, the egg, the one that was the most frail, and fragile, is now solid, and strong. All three of these items went through the same trail, a hot and boiling water, yet the outcome showed me a new perspective in life.

    I owe a lot to my grandmother, she helped me when the tough times. Her wisdom is something I hope to one day acquire. So I hope one day, young man. That you will be able to see life in different perspective, and hope that it leads you to a similar journey.


    i don't think a cooking lesson was what he was asking for icon_rolleyes.gif


    Of course an idiot with only half a brain would convey the message as a cooking lesson. Dumb ass.
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    Sep 20, 2015 2:33 AM GMT
    I agree with the others. You're a handsome, talented guy. Hang in there! We're all rooting for you!
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    Sep 20, 2015 2:34 AM GMT
    First off, you need to make some new friends. Granted, it's not that easy to do in a local such as your own, you should give a try. Look for a gay social group or organization in the area, as there should be at least one. What you need is a social life and not to be so down on yourself.
  • metta

    Posts: 39089

    Sep 20, 2015 3:04 AM GMT
    A good way to meet people is to get involved in your community:


    http://www.gaynepa.com/volunteer


    http://hillside.camp/

    http://www.yelp.com/biz/twelve-penny-saloon-moosic
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Sep 20, 2015 3:20 AM GMT
    Oh shut the fuck up, and stop being such a whiny fucking cunt! You are a young man with a whole future ahead of you, obviously healthy and able bodied because you go to the gym. Deal with your depression by talking to people in your life (we ALL have one or two of those lying around), read, cultivate your interests, just learn how to be alone. Self sufficiency leads to true "happiness" (ugh, such a plebeian concept). It at least leads to contentment. Stop thinking of yourself as a "piece of shit". You are a unique human being with a lot to offer. There has never been someone like you in the entirety of human history. That is something to consider.
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    Sep 20, 2015 3:29 AM GMT
    Get diagnosed for depression. Seriously, depression is nothing to play around with since it greatly effects the quality of your life and can rob you of months, even years of your life. Are you covered by your employer for healthcare? That can help with the costs. Sometimes people saying "just snap out of it" isn't enough and you need the kind of help only a qualified professional can give.

    I only recommend it since it can literally take your life. There's no shame in seeking a professional- if you need help get it as soon as you can. Your last paragraph is a bit alarming and raises some red flags which makes me wonder if you might be suffering from unchecked depression that is now warping your thought processing and reasoning. Nothing is worth taking your life over since it just transfers suffering to your loved ones.

    Now with that said I'm also going through a bit of a rut in my life now but I'm getting through it; at times I have to force myself to do so, but little by little things are getting better. This rut btw was triggered by a breakup with my BF nearly 2 years ago. Here's a few things to consider to improve yourself:

    -Make sure you're eating right. Not only are eating fruits and vegetables along with "good" fats (Salmon, nuts, etc) healthy for your body they're also healthy for your mind. I'm not a nutritionists but I've noticed a difference in my mood when I eat foods that are rich in Omega 3 fatty acids, B12, and are just overall healthy food. It even helps reduce stress which releases a lot of toxic chemicals and saps you of your physical and mental energy. Minimize junk food, refined sugars and sadly cut back on your coffee intake since it can cause spikes and crashes of your energy levels. I'm in the process of switching to tea in the mornings.

    -Get enough sleep- I get really moody if I don't have enough sleep each night. A few nights of not getting enough sleep can add up and personally I'll start the following day exhausted and in a bad mood overall 6-8 hours of sleep is a pre-requesite for feeling neutral, good in the morning and dealing with stressors throughout the day.

    -Job hunt daily, brush up on your interview skills, hop on LinkedIn and get advice from people in your desired career, get advice for your resume, get advice about going to school, etc... I don't define myself by what type of job I have (which can be dangerous for one's sense of self if they hate their job) but a lot of people do. Work towards a job more suited for you and do whatever it takes, within reason, to get out of that dead end job. It's going to make a big difference in your life if you enjoy your job. The economy is still bad but people are getting jobs they enjoy going to in the morning. My friends got much better paying jobs they liked through people they knew, not online. The key I think is meeting and networking with people. If networking skills need some work brush on that too.

    -Actively seek and meet like minded people. This fits into networking somewhat too but you mentioned making friends. Join an organization of some type, join a work out class, sign up for crossfit, volunteer at a homeless shelter even; I did this and was snapped out of wallowing in my problems since it put things into perspective and was a very humbling experience.

    Basically meet other people who share your interests or at least share one thing in common with you. Don't make the goal to make a great friend when you go out to meet people, just focus on meeting people and getting their contact information otherwise you'll put too much pressure on them and yourself to become friends. You need to get out of that lonely funk since it's also bad for your psyche. Human being by our very nature are social animals. We're essentially pack animals and being lonely sets off alarm bells with our per-historic instincts, we literally need other people and to establish "our" social group to survive. I'm a bit of a shy introvert but as I know having other people in our lives contributes a lot of meaning to your sense of self, I'm becoming less introverted the older I get actually because now I've transitioned from being shy to really enjoying meeting new people even if I'm shy (Everyone is shy to some degree btw, even outwardly confident guys) If your social skills need work research how to improve them- Google and YouTube are some of the the most obvious "go to" resources

    -Ditch the apps: Grindr, OKCupid, Scruff, Tinder etc... are not conducive to dating or making real world friends. There's outlying cases of success stories but I don't think they're the most effective way to meet people. The majority of guys on these apps/ sites are looking for the elusive guy who looks like their favorite porn star and/or Mr Perfect.

    Even worse, spending a lot of time on those sites will make you think you're ugly, completely undesirable and cause your self esteem to take a nose dive. Even as a bit of a shy guy I had a lot more success of meeting people in the real world at events, meetups, and organizations than I ever did on those apps.

    I know Scranton might be limited in this area but there's got to be some places you can find like minded people; don't give up if you don't find the type of people you seek- keep looking.

    They're a waste of time if you're not a porn star look-a-like IMO. Offline people can see the "real" you and it should be no surprise that a lot of guys are attracted to a positive personality which will get your foot in the door even if you don't think you're conventionally attractive.

    -Watch your favorite funny videos, listen to your favorite music, read inspirational stories... jerk off even. Do whatever it takes to relieve stress and/or get out of crummy moods to release endorphins and other good neural chemicals throughout your brain. You're a lot more productive when you feel good than when you feel like crap which translates in a greater likelihood of changing your situation for the better. There's enough negative things in the world to focus on (stop watching the news btw)- you need to counteract them with positive things you enjoy and make you feel good.

    Finally here's a quote which stuck with me for years, even still: "People who gave up were so close to reaching their goals they didn't even know. Don't give up yet- you're much closer to reaching it than you even realize."

    Hope that helps you and others reading this thread going through hard times and I hope your situation starts improving soon.
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    Sep 20, 2015 3:36 AM GMT
    Mulignan saidOh shut the fuck up, and stop being such a whiny fucking cunt! You are a young man with a whole future ahead of you, obviously healthy and able bodied because you go to the gym. Deal with your depression by talking to people in your life (we ALL have one or two of those lying around), read, cultivate your interests, just learn how to be alone. Self sufficiency leads to true "happiness" (ugh, such a plebeian concept). It at least leads to contentment. Stop thinking of yourself as a "piece of shit". You are a unique human being with a lot to offer. There has never been someone like you in the entirety of human history. That is something to consider.




    A little blunt, but yes, very true.

    I know it sounds corny but sometimes you just have to look at yourself in the mirror and say "I will get though this. Toughen the fuck up now. Get over yourself and your pity party"

    Do that whenever you are feeling down....
  • KissTheSky

    Posts: 1980

    Sep 20, 2015 3:51 AM GMT
    Not that my opinion should matter to you, but I think you're a very handsome young guy with a great smile.
    I echo other comments about getting checked out for depression. Maybe some treatment would help you feel better?
    Good luck, man.
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    Sep 20, 2015 4:33 AM GMT
    Talon saidOf course an idiot with only half a brain would convey the message as a cooking lesson. Dumb ass.

    tumblr_m4y6sltdzh1qdojan.gif
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    Sep 20, 2015 7:18 AM GMT
    Talon said
    bonaparts said
    Talon saidHm, I had a similar talk with my grandmother one time, where I felt the pressure of life just gradually weighing on my shoulders, and I wanted to quit college.

    My grandmother wanted to show me something. She took out 3 items and laid them before me. A carrot, a potato, and an egg. She asked me. If one of these fell, what do you think would happen? I told her that only the egg would break. So she took me in the kitchen, and she started to boil water, and she boiled all 3 of them together in the same pot. After she took out all three of them out she said. "Felix, this carrot that you thought was tough, and strong has now became weak, and flimsy. The potato that was solid is now but a pile of mush, but this, the egg, the one that was the most frail, and fragile, is now solid, and strong. All three of these items went through the same trail, a hot and boiling water, yet the outcome showed me a new perspective in life.

    I owe a lot to my grandmother, she helped me when the tough times. Her wisdom is something I hope to one day acquire. So I hope one day, young man. That you will be able to see life in different perspective, and hope that it leads you to a similar journey.


    i don't think a cooking lesson was what he was asking for icon_rolleyes.gif


    Of course an idiot with only half a brain would convey the message as a cooking lesson. Dumb ass.

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    Sep 20, 2015 7:43 AM GMT

    Yeah, I know, there's a song for that, been there icon_neutral.gif




  • kld89

    Posts: 10

    Sep 20, 2015 8:11 AM GMT
    Musicman91 saidI know I am. I am stuck at a dead end job that I hate but can't get out of because I have to help support my family. I have no friends because pretty much everyone stopped taking to me when I came out.

    The only time I am happy is when I am at the gym but sometimes I wonder why I even bother going because it makes no difference I am still an ugly,fat useless piece of shit. And obviously not attractive at all because bascially anytime I message someone on here or Grindr, Scruff ect. They just ignore me.

    I read about people dying and think "Why couldn't it have been me?" I have no purpose on this earth and my life isnt going to get any better. So I just think "Whats the point?" We're all gonna die sometime.



    Please don't say those things about yourself - they are 100% not true.

    Look at things from another perspective (and yes, that can be hard at times)

    1. At least you have a job. If you are stuck in a rut and not learning then can you take your experience and find another job that will allow you to grow.

    2. If people stopped talking to you once you came out then they are not your real friends and you don't need them in your life. I've been in a similar situation but I have found a few real friends who know me for me and accept me.

    3. Sometimes people think they're so ugly when they're actually not. Appreciate yourself and if you think you are overweight then you can do things to change that - continue going to the gym. Exercise is always uplifting.

    4. Do something that interests you - take up a hobby, watch a great film or get involved in a social group - it really takes you away from thinking negative things about yourself.

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    Sep 20, 2015 12:33 PM GMT
    Musicman91 saidI know I am. I am stuck at a dead end job that I hate but can't get out of because I have to help support my family. I have no friends because pretty much everyone stopped taking to me when I came out.

    The only time I am happy is when I am at the gym but sometimes I wonder why I even bother going because it makes no difference I am still an ugly,fat useless piece of shit. And obviously not attractive at all because bascially anytime I message someone on here or Grindr, Scruff ect. They just ignore me.

    I read about people dying and think "Why couldn't it have been me?" I have no purpose on this earth and my life isnt going to get any better. So I just think "Whats the point?" We're all gonna die sometime.



    Try Jesus Christ.
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    Sep 20, 2015 2:52 PM GMT
    Time for professional counselling, don't cha think? If not now, when??

    PS what's with the "I can't leave my dead end job ..."? I had one of those and went to night school. If your job stops you from upgrading look for a different "dead end" job that has better hours. You need to get your priorities straight. Oh, and ditch Grindr if you are looking for a friend. It will just make you feel worse about yourself. Lots of great advice given above:; take it.