NSA hookups turning into long term BF?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 20, 2015 2:21 AM GMT
    Can you find love on grndr?
    Any success stories? Or am I among the delusional that thinks you can.
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Sep 20, 2015 4:31 AM GMT

    So you bait a guy with the promise of NSA, but from the start, you plan to bind him.
    .........................


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 20, 2015 3:44 PM GMT
    I've made a couple good friends and I've found a bf through what were intended to be just hookups. But, you should understand that there are many reasons why a guy may say that he's looking for NSA:
    1. He is already attached.
    2. He is emotionally not available (especially if he's just getting out of a serious relationship or has never been with a guy before).
    3. He is visiting your town (or country).

    If he's single + emotionally available + local, your odds are much better obviously. Say you've found a guy that matches that criteria, you both need to be compatible. My advice is to remember that he is a real, live person not a web app. Talk to each other like you would on a date... especially when you're "cleaning up". I like to crack jokes to get the guy to laugh (which has worked really well for me). If I like the chemistry with a guy I'll sometimes just say, "hey, wanna hop in the shower with me?" And then we often talk more.

    So yeah, NSA can turn into other things, BUT it's not likely which is why I rarely do them. Dates are easier.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 20, 2015 4:08 PM GMT
    Anything is possible - just be realistic about your expectations. Grindr isn't okcupid or match.com
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 20, 2015 10:31 PM GMT
    ok, I'll sign up for ok-cupid...
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Sep 20, 2015 11:14 PM GMT
    I've had one-nighters turn into LTRs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2015 12:34 AM GMT
    It happens
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2015 1:09 AM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2015 2:26 AM GMT
    Yep.
    Funny how quickly your "list" dwindles when the sex is mind-blowing.
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3755

    Sep 21, 2015 2:29 AM GMT
    I found a boyfriend of 7 months on Grindr. We are no longer together but it is possible!
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Sep 21, 2015 12:52 PM GMT
    I met someone on Adam. He and I are currently seeing each other. There are wonderful things about this relationship and I am happier with him than I have been with anyone. Unfortunately, it is very unlikely to be long-term because he plans on moving in the next year. He has made it clear he is not available for a long-term relationship. But because I feel so connected to him, I am willing to accept the relationship on the terms that are available. I anticipate that separation will be hard.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2015 7:43 PM GMT
    nice! I seem to get the most luck on Grndr...
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Sep 21, 2015 8:11 PM GMT
    I've never used Grindr but I used Outpersonals back when I was single. My partner of 8 years and I met there and essentially set up a sex date. But it quickly became much more. After two years of long distance dating (about 2 hours apart), he moved in with me and we've been together since. I will say, though, we got to know each other pretty well before meeting the first time and we'd both checked out each other's stories. I think the numbers are that for the last decade, about half of all gay guys met their partner online. The likelihood of finding someone you like goes up enormously if a profile is attached. But I see no problem with meeting someone for sex if you at least find him interesting. Just take time to get to know him a bit when you do meet. I actually think that is so much easier after sex than before.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2015 10:17 PM GMT
    wow, thats cool... so I guess you can find love any way...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2015 8:30 AM GMT
    From the posts I've read throughout the forums during my time on this website, it almost seems like it's been the only way people have found a LTR.

    There are countless threads of people who want LTR and look for it but end up with nothing, and then those who do have it have always said they were just on a string of hook ups and it just happened to come by.

    So as sad but also typical of the gay world as it sounds, you gotta slut yourself out and hope that one of them along the way turns out to want more.
    When that happens hopefully it's mutual because there's nothing worse than a hook up that gets too clingy, or so I've been told.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2015 11:18 AM GMT
    I believe it's possible, but I wouldn't gamble on it.

    NSA hookups generally meant NSA to me. I didn't see the point in pursuing a friendship or anything else after. You never know what the next person is thinking though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2015 1:58 PM GMT
    do what you want but keep in mind both men have to want the same type of relationship and they have to bring only good things to the table as a couple
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Sep 22, 2015 5:11 PM GMT
    DryMoan saidFrom the posts I've read throughout the forums during my time on this website, it almost seems like it's been the only way people have found a LTR.

    There are countless threads of people who want LTR and look for it but end up with nothing, and then those who do have it have always said they were just on a string of hook ups and it just happened to come by.

    So as sad but also typical of the gay world as it sounds, you gotta slut yourself out and hope that one of them along the way turns out to want more.
    When that happens hopefully it's mutual because there's nothing worse than a hook up that gets too clingy, or so I've been told.

    You don't have to "slut yourself out." You do have to enjoy sex and meeting other guys. A lot of it is the attitude you bring with you. No one will like you or want to see you again if you have a bad attitude.
  • Noeton

    Posts: 208

    Sep 23, 2015 12:48 AM GMT
    I suppose it's possible... or at least you could meet some new friends.