Major anxiety from upcoming birthday. Please Help?

  • Kromethius

    Posts: 156

    Sep 20, 2015 9:55 PM GMT
    I know some of you guys may classify me as over dramatic but I'm about to turn 23 in about a week and I keep feeling that I'll be single forever. If graduating wasn't enough of a worry well I guess finding someone that I can share my life with is also important to me because I consider myself someone who is willing to put in the work. I am not trying to come off as cocky or arrogant but I feel like I'd make an exceptional boyfriend rather than the ones who end up cheating down the road. My plan is to delete every single app or profile that would lead to jeapordizing me by framing. Being in this small, hick-ish, conservative town known as college station really has affected me and made me feel more insecure, inferior, and ugly to be honest. If a guy doesn't reject me for being black he'll say it's because I'm not lean or muscular enough, or that they want to cheat on their respective other (gf/bf). I know my tone throughout this page sounds incredibly childish but I've been trying to be strong and get through this for few years and it just infuriates me how all the time and years go by and that I'm still young yet I can't find someone who understands that I want to fall in love with them and not the idea of love. Sometimes I feel depressed and think this is a way god punishes me for being gay or something and that's why I'll never have someone in my life. Moreover, in school I'm at Texas A&M for electrical engineering and have tried to see a counselor throughout the years to deal with my anxiety disorder and yet my gpa still is low and I feel like I'll never reach my dreams of moving to California and be done with this backwards minded state. I just constantly feel like I'll never win in life and that many things are just crumbling beneath me. Lastly, I might have to have surgery on my shoulder which although is temporary will take away my hobby of working out which helped deal with my stress to some extent...
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    Sep 20, 2015 10:55 PM GMT
    Kromethius saidI know some of you guys may classify me as over dramatic but I'm about to turn 23 in about a week and I keep feeling that I'll be single forever. If graduating wasn't enough of a worry well I guess finding someone that I can share my life with is also important to me because I consider myself someone who is willing to put in the work. I am not trying to come off as cocky or arrogant but I feel like I'd make an exceptional boyfriend rather than the ones who end up cheating down the road. My plan is to delete every single app or profile that would lead to jeapordizing me by framing. Being in this small, hick-ish, conservative town known as college station really has affected me and made me feel more insecure, inferior, and ugly to be honest. If a guy doesn't reject me for being black he'll say it's because I'm not lean or muscular enough, or that they want to cheat on their respective other (gf/bf). I know my tone throughout this page sounds incredibly childish but I've been trying to be strong and get through this for few years and it just infuriates me how all the time and years go by and that I'm still young yet I can't find someone who understands that I want to fall in love with them and not the idea of love. Sometimes I feel depressed and think this is a way god punishes me for being gay or something and that's why I'll never have someone in my life. Moreover, in school I'm at Texas A&M for electrical engineering and have tried to see a counselor throughout the years to deal with my anxiety disorder and yet my gpa still is low and I feel like I'll never reach my dreams of moving to California and be done with this backwards minded state. I just constantly feel like I'll never win in life and that many things are just crumbling beneath me. Lastly, I might have to have surgery on my shoulder which although is temporary will take away my hobby of working out which helped deal with my stress to some extent...

    I knew you were under 25 just from reading the thread title. This is a recurring theme on the forums here. icon_lol.gif

    Just stop worrying about your age. icon_wink.gif
  • Kromethius

    Posts: 156

    Sep 20, 2015 11:06 PM GMT
    That may be easy for some who have had relationships happen to them. But as of now literally everything from health, school, and social issues are literally crashing into eachother. And as I get older its not getting any better.
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    Sep 20, 2015 11:15 PM GMT
    Kromethius saidThat may be easy for some who have had relationships happen to them. But as of now literally everything from health, school, and social issues are literally crashing into eachother. And as I get older its not getting any better.

    Nothing new man. Same words have been spoken by others your age. And guess what.. those guys managed to find the right guy later down the line. Just don't stress it. The harder to try to look for a guy, the more you set yourself up for failure.
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Sep 20, 2015 11:41 PM GMT
    STOP. If you really feel your dream is slipping away because your grades have fallen, PUT everything on the back burner and barricade yourself in the Texas A&M Library.

    The only thing that matters is finishing your educational goals strong. You don't want to limp out, you want to bound out. It'll electrify your confidence, your outlook, and yes, attract a far different kind of male to you.

    Age doesn't matter - you're getting old. A connection with a guy doesn't matter - it will come. The way your peer group sees you doesn't matter - your peer group will change soon. The way you look doesn't matter - muscles grow and fat is burned away.

    Only one thing will hurt you now if pissed away and that's your education. Sometimes, when goings get tough, youth will try to change everything at once. It will just make you go insane. Pick one thing and go to work on it. If you pick men, that's just ridiculous. Your life is changing and even under the best conditions, the ever changing landscape of your life will rule out many guys you meet right now, even if you met the one. What if the one happens to despise California or have a drug habit?

    No, no, step away from that box of unknowns and open a book of facts. Graduate!

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    Sep 21, 2015 11:02 AM GMT
    I'm 25 and I've never had a boyfriend either. I feel incredibly lonely and hopeless at times, so I can relate. I feel like I need to work on my body as well as my self-esteem (I'm hoping improving my body will help me with that) before I'll find someone. Sometimes I do wonder if I'll be alone forever, so I've been trying to get used to the idea of being happy by myself/being alone in case it really does come down to that.

    The only advice I can give you is to keep focusing on school and graduating. Constantly worrying about being single and lonely is probably stopping you from putting all of your focus on your school work, which honestly, is more important right now. After you graduate and find a job, you can move wherever you want and focus on finding someone then.
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    Sep 21, 2015 12:49 PM GMT
    23? lol! One crisis at a time and don't be in such a rush to wish your life away...REALLY. The OCD and ADHD crowd are going to hate this, but "control" is an illusion. Take care of you and your responsibilities, right now...IE...SCHOOL. Success and establishing a track record of a winning "NOW" along with finishing a commitment, will help carry you into other areas of your life. Be the best "YOU" possible and that will be attractive enough....GOOD LUCK.icon_cool.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Sep 21, 2015 6:55 PM GMT
    Better find a husband or you'll be an old maid by the time you're 23 and a half.icon_eek.gif
  • Nakedman1969

    Posts: 247

    Sep 22, 2015 2:15 AM GMT
    Just wait until you get my age then have a melt down. I don't care what age I turn its just a number so just get over it!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 22, 2015 2:24 AM GMT
    Dear OP,

    Entering into your "winter season" of life can indeed be troubling. I'm sure it's hard to accept your life is almost over. But preparation can make this process a little less difficult. I think you'll find these links helpful:

    http://www.cleveland.com/religion/index.ssf/2011/03/catholics_who_seek_last_rites.html

    http://bestpricecaskets.com/SFNT.html?gclid=CjwKEAjw1f6vBRC7tLqO_aih5WISJAAE0CYwEJBoeX_K8gLfGpMDF8Pz50B0sH6Y2pbJTue0y08IDRoCqmDw_wcB

    http://www.burialinsurance.org

  • Apparition

    Posts: 3521

    Sep 22, 2015 3:08 AM GMT
    until you asked 100 men out, you dont get to feel LONELY, what you feel is LAZY.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Sep 22, 2015 4:37 AM GMT
    Oceans_of_Flowers saidSTOP. If you really feel your dream is slipping away because your grades have fallen, PUT everything on the back burner and barricade yourself in the Texas A&M Library.

    The only thing that matters is finishing your educational goals strong. You don't want to limp out, you want to bound out. It'll electrify your confidence, your outlook, and yes, attract a far different kind of male to you.

    Age doesn't matter - you're getting old. A connection with a guy doesn't matter - it will come. The way your peer group sees you doesn't matter - your peer group will change soon. The way you look doesn't matter - muscles grow and fat is burned away.

    Only one thing will hurt you now if pissed away and that's your education. Sometimes, when goings get tough, youth will try to change everything at once. It will just make you go insane. Pick one thing and go to work on it. If you pick men, that's just ridiculous. Your life is changing and even under the best conditions, the ever changing landscape of your life will rule out many guys you meet right now, even if you met the one. What if the one happens to despise California or have a drug habit?

    No, no, step away from that box of unknowns and open a book of facts. Graduate!


    _________________________________________

    I hope you will listen (and take to heart) what this very wise man has said to you.