Chicago vs NYC?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2015 12:32 AM GMT
    I'm on the verge of moving away from NYC where I've been living for a few years now due to not being able to find a decent salaried job, having no real friends and getting exhausted by the gay dating scene in NYC. The cost of living is also a push factor but it could be due to my low salary....than again my ex made $60k, lived in Astoria and complained about how expensive it is here.

    Before I make a major life decision such as moving away back in with my parents back in Chicago (which is pathetic but it's temporarily at least) it might be good to take a step back and ask for opinions.

    I'm a native Chicagoan turned NYer who wanted to live in NYC all my life and now that I've experienced it though I'm having doubts if it's a wise thing to stay here given the situation and it doesn't seem to be improving either despite efforts to improve it. I can't realistically afford to be here in my situation and most people my age wouldn't if they were in my position. I made another thread about this on Reddit and someone said it's "insane to stay in NYC on a 30k salary even for a single guy" I'm starting to think they're right. Despite that part of me is worried this is the "grass is greener" syndrome the other part of me thinks it's a responsible thing for many to return home to essentially start over in my hometown.

    Having a good group of real friends is very important to me and it just seems the work life balance is out of balance in NYC. From what I'm seeing trying to make friends here is NYer's seem too busy to invest the time into making and growing new friendships beyond casual acquaintances. Or the cost of living drives people out and it's been frustrating meeting people here who would be good friends but a few months later you find out they're moving away to a lower cost of living city.... icon_confused.gif

    IDK, really on the fence about moving back. How's the gay dating scene in Chicago? I would be move out after saving enough for my own place (Chicago's average comparably affordable rent for a 1 bedroom is another reason to move back) so dating is out of the question until that happens but I'm curious to prepare myself; not all into the Boystown scene though. The straight dating scene in Chicago is very traditional; people get married in their late 20's in the city. It's not uncommon here in NYC for a lot of people to be single into their 40's and even though I got lucky finding my first BF here now that I'm dating again I see how much of an uphill battle it is. The Chicagoan in me thinks the gay dating scene in Chicago might be a bit less intense and more relaxed.

    Just trying the weight my options.
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    Sep 21, 2015 2:30 PM GMT
    Erobert said... The straight dating scene in Chicago is very traditional; people get married in their late 20's in the city. It's not uncommon here in NYC for a lot of people to be single into their 40's and even though I got lucky finding my first BF here now...

    your confusing gay/straight relationships. Unless you are thinking of husband & children no need to rush things.

    Erobert said... I made another thread about this on Reddit and someone said it's "insane to stay in NYC on a 30k salary even for a single guy" I'm starting to think they're right...
    If your looking for a bf to combine incomes with this is almost impossible.

    your decision but i would move. Best of luck.
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    Sep 21, 2015 2:37 PM GMT
    Move to Chicago, life is about taking chances and risks. At least you live and know nyc already, a fresh start with new people might just put you back in a happy mood.
  • MarvelBoy23

    Posts: 279

    Sep 21, 2015 3:39 PM GMT
    Erobert saidI'm on the verge of moving away from NYC where I've been living for a few years now due to not being able to find a decent salaried job, having no real friends and getting exhausted by the gay dating scene in NYC. The cost of living is also a push factor but it could be due to my low salary....than again my ex made $60k, lived in Astoria and complained about how expensive it is here.

    Before I make a major life decision such as moving away back in with my parents back in Chicago (which is pathetic but it's temporarily at least) it might be good to take a step back and ask for opinions.

    I'm a native Chicagoan turned NYer who wanted to live in NYC all my life and now that I've experienced it though I'm having doubts if it's a wise thing to stay here given the situation and it doesn't seem to be improving either despite efforts to improve it. I can't realistically afford to be here in my situation and most people my age wouldn't if they were in my position. I made another thread about this on Reddit and someone said it's "insane to stay in NYC on a 30k salary even for a single guy" I'm starting to think they're right. Despite that part of me is worried this is the "grass is greener" syndrome the other part of me thinks it's a responsible thing for many to return home to essentially start over in my hometown.

    Having a good group of real friends is very important to me and it just seems the work life balance is out of balance in NYC. From what I'm seeing trying to make friends here is NYer's seem too busy to invest the time into making and growing new friendships beyond casual acquaintances. Or the cost of living drives people out and it's been frustrating meeting people here who would be good friends but a few months later you find out they're moving away to a lower cost of living city.... icon_confused.gif

    IDK, really on the fence about moving back. How's the gay dating scene in Chicago? I would be move out after saving enough for my own place (Chicago's average comparably affordable rent for a 1 bedroom is another reason to move back) so dating is out of the question until that happens but I'm curious to prepare myself; not all into the Boystown scene though. The straight dating scene in Chicago is very traditional; people get married in their late 20's in the city. It's not uncommon here in NYC for a lot of people to be single into their 40's and even though I got lucky finding my first BF here now that I'm dating again I see how much of an uphill battle it is. The Chicagoan in me thinks the gay dating scene in Chicago might be a bit less intense and more relaxed.

    Just trying the weight my options.


    Sounds like you've already weighed your options well. I love Chicago and what it has to offer, I just wish it weren't in Illinois. We are big enough for everyone to find what they are looking for, for the most part, I would think. We have a great skyline and killer lake, that helps with feeling land locked. Tons of things to do, and I think we are pretty nice and welcoming. Obviously others feel different. But there are more options then for you to just move home. Have you considered other locations at all!?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2015 5:00 PM GMT
    I say think outside the NYC-CHI Axis. Depending on your job and interests/preferences, what other areas of the country are attractive from a job and personal perspective? Give this some more thought - and widen your horizon.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Sep 21, 2015 5:35 PM GMT
    I personally would rather live in NYC, if I were deciding between the two.
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    Sep 21, 2015 5:55 PM GMT
    Looks like the majority say move back to Chicago. From a financial stance I'm leaning this way since every time I write a rent check out I wonder if I'm hurting my financial future.

    But also from social stand point as well it makes sense; the obsession of "there's always someone better" mindset prevalent with so many young professionals in the city carries over into making friends as well it seems. In Chicago the Midwestern friendliness and "traditional" values helps form form social bonds- it's not a social utopia by any means but it's interesting to consider the general personality of each city. Strangely enough the people I get along best with here are native NYer's so go figure...

    MGINSD, I have and am researching possible cities when it comes time to settle down in the future. I'm not in the financial position to move to a city where there's no family to fall back on though since NY are much of my savings. It's a wise (yet difficult) move to move home, work to rebuild it and then move out again on my own when I can.

    Time to start planning for the move back and figuring out what to do with my stuff. Sell? Store it? Ship it? A little of everything maybe.
  • HottJoe

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    Sep 21, 2015 6:56 PM GMT
    ^Nah, you must just have all the New Yorkers on ignore.icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 21, 2015 8:59 PM GMT
    You haven't provided a valid argument for staying in NYC other than "it's NYC"... your mind is already made up.

    Also, take advantage of your parents' home cooked meals and start lifting. I know how mean and vapid that may sound, but gaining some mass adds appeal and shows that you're bettering yourself. You have a handsome face and the height; add some size and guys will swoon over you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2015 6:50 PM GMT
    >OP

    I don't believe you've ever said (or I don't re4meber) what your education/career background is. That should make some difference in where you want your future to be, as it will make a difference in what employment you can find. (If you want to work as a pizza maker, you can get a low-paying job anywhere; if you work in a professional job or in the arts, for example, it will make a big difference.

    Chicago is probably an easier place both to make friends, and be able to afford to live, but there are lots of other urban environments out there. (Before you take advice form Mountainview/Socal, read his many other posts - he is to say the least, highly opinionated on cities and urban areas in the US.)

    I wouldn't mind living in NYC, but unless I were an aspiring actor, a trust fund baby, or had an income over $120K a year, it would just be a place to visit periodically.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 24, 2015 3:03 AM GMT
    Thanks for weighing in, it's a difficult decision to make since Chicago and NYC seem compete with each other.

    As HikerSkier notes the thing about NYC that makes me seriously consider moving back home is the cost of living and rents have gotten so high. It's not wise to stay if you're earning a low salary. Earning $80,000-120,000 seems to be a good salary to be secure here (able to put enough away into savings, a chance to buy property down the line, etc..) Some say the COL even creates a transient environment for young professionals since six figure salaries qualify as middle class the city, at least in Manhattan. icon_eek.gif

    Though, NYC has more to offer in terms of culture and general topographic scenery of the surrounding region than Chicago but that's a bit subjective.

    My degree is in arch/ planning and policy; NYC was the obvious choice considering but there's so much competition, nationally and globally, for most professional jobs. Without a few years experience in the field you're not likely to even get interviews. I'm debating going back to school for a business degree since that's more marketable though that requires a bit of money to pay for so more reason to save up while living for a while back at home.

    Whatever degree you have if you're planning on moving to New York you really need to network if you move here, preferably before arriving in NYC which is something I did do but probably just not enough... DC might be somewhere to research more in depth with my degree.

    True, there are other cities all over the nation to consider moving than just Chicago and NYC. I'd prefer to stay on the East coast if I ever moved back. There are nearby cities such as Stamford and Philly. A lot of smaller cities are doing a good job of making themselves more appealing to 20-30 somethings now that we're coming of age and I have a feeling "legacy" cities (SF, NYC, and LA) are loosing appeal with a growing number of young professionals for a few reasons that deserve another thread.0