Bottoming is extremely painful, what to do?


  • Sep 22, 2015 1:28 AM GMT
    I've tried bottoming a few times, and they all were extremely painful to me. Even if the penis isn't that big, and it always bleed even when using lube.

    I want to bttom, but I just can't. I already thought in searching for a doctor, but I'm ashamed of complaining that can't have penis in my ass.
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    Sep 22, 2015 7:15 AM GMT
    Not everyone is cut out for it.

    If he's just jambing it in, he's not very good at it. Patience, fingers and hot tongue help.

    Try small dildos and work your way up. It may be just anxiety. At least then you'll know if its physical. Maybe your calling it to top?
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    Sep 22, 2015 2:41 PM GMT
    Invetedlotus123 saidI've tried bottoming a few times, and they all were extremely painful to me. Even if the penis isn't that big, and it always bleed even when using lube.

    I want to bttom, but I just can't. I already thought in searching for a doctor, but I'm ashamed of complaining that can't have penis in my ass.


    You need to have a good top. A bad top is usually a selfish one where he doesn't cater to the needs of his bottom. What that guy said ^ four play is a great way to get you loose. I highly suggest douching to help clean and open you up. I'm the same way it's too painful sometimes to take my boyfriends dick even if we just had sex yesterday it feels like he never penetrated me the day before. Also find positions where it's easiest to get it in. Find what works for you.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Sep 22, 2015 5:05 PM GMT
    The anal muscle is naturally closed. YOU have to learn to relax it and keep it relaxed which isn't something your partner can do for you. Though your partners may have not taken the time to help you relax, which some like to do but others don't. So it is up to you to learn how to do it. Get a small dildo and a very good lube or even shortening, like Crisco. Get the arse and the dildo very slippery and try inserting it very slowly. Take your time and relax, relax, relax. It feels like taking a crap the first few times but that feeling goes away. Just keep remembering, relax. It is a learned thing, not something your body does naturally. Get some porn you can watch and let yourself get distracted. Once you've figured it out with the small dildo, you can get a larger one but don't immediately go for giant. Remember, your goal is to be able to enjoy a real guy. Bigger than that isn't helpful. One last thing, the more often you do it (the dildo or the real thing), the easier it will be. Between times, the anus will contract back and the harder it will be to relax. But practice will help you learn how to relax. Have fun!
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    Sep 23, 2015 3:24 PM GMT
    Just relax and take it like a good bottom. Nothing worse than a whiny bottom unable to take thick cock.
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    Sep 23, 2015 9:52 PM GMT
    Maybe you should have shit before you had sex, your shit and the top's cock jamming in there very bad way. Your shit is coming out and your boyfriend's cock is pushing it inside. That's why you bleed.
    You should always know the correct procedure to have anal sex. Not everyone can do it like pornstar. Have a manual. Follow it. Be a healthy, wise bottom.icon_cool.gif
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    Sep 26, 2015 7:32 PM GMT
    I don't think it would be wise to consult a Doctor. Have you seen the movie 'Deliverance'? Well, in the famous line from that movie, I say, "Squeel like a Pig!"
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    Sep 27, 2015 1:17 AM GMT
    If you're bleeding, something is definitely wrong. Could be a fissure or hemorrhoids. If not those, then you just have a very tight hole that is easily torn. I'd definitely consult a doctor about this. Especially if it's a gay doctor since he will know how to handle the situation.

    And maybe he'll stick his lubed finger in your hole and check to see for any reactions.
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    Sep 28, 2015 7:06 PM GMT
    There is a Surgical procedure to have your Ass-Hole widened. You need to consult a Plastic Surgeon. Only thing is, the results are permanent and not pleasant. In other words you may have to wear a diaper for the rest of your life. However, if you have had rough Anal Sex, there may be some tearing that might require a few stitches. My advice, consult your GP for a check-up, just to be safe.
  • Julemar

    Posts: 2

    Nov 06, 2015 8:48 AM GMT
    Yeah.. its painful but its worth it...just try not to feel the pain only the sweetness of it..
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    Nov 06, 2015 10:58 AM GMT
    Have a read of a sex manual like this:

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bottom-Like-Star-Ultimate-Guide-ebook/dp/B00GG16XZ8
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    Nov 06, 2015 4:50 PM GMT
    PulseFit saidHave a read of a sex manual like this:

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bottom-Like-Star-Ultimate-Guide-ebook/dp/B00GG16XZ8


    I have and I do find some good tips but be aware, it's not exactly a scientific Manual and there are some assumptions in there which can easily been dispelled by many other sources. It's available even on your phone or tablet electronically in the Google or Apple online store
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    Nov 06, 2015 4:55 PM GMT
    timmm55 saidNot everyone is cut out for it.

    If he's just jambing it in, he's not very good at it. Patience, fingers and hot tongue help.

    Try small dildos and work your way up. It may be just anxiety. At least then you'll know if its physical. Maybe your calling it to top?


    Timm you are 100% correct.

    Also it's likely to be partly a mental block thing as well which wouldn't hurt so maybe better for him to top as you said, bottoming involved submission and I know myself I'm not a fan and therefore rarely btm
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3521

    Dec 14, 2015 4:03 AM GMT
    you are a top, get over it
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    Dec 14, 2015 10:31 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidIf you want to bottom but are having trouble I would suggest you buy some butt plugs. Start out small and work your way up. Then try some dildos and start small and work your way up to however big you want to go.

    You just have to invest some time on your own and be patient with yourself.

    I firmly believe trying my suggestion will help.

    I would also recommend seeing a doctor about the bleeding to rule out any serious medical concerns.


    Totally agree, good advice
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    Dec 20, 2015 1:39 PM GMT
    Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I do this.

    Doctor: Then don't do that.

    Pay the receptionist $100 on your way out.

    = = =

    Get an Aneros prostate stimulator. Other than that just spooning, no sodomy.
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    Dec 20, 2015 1:46 PM GMT
    StephenOABC saidPatient: Doctor, it hurts when I do this.

    Doctor: Then don't do that.

    Pay the receptionist $100 on your way out.

    = = =

    Get an Aneros prostate stimulator. Other than that just spooning, no sodomy.


    PS, have you tried yoga with deep breathing? Have you tried running, not jogging? One time, when I was younger, after running, my hips were so flexible, I wanted a glute massage with high quality penetration (douched, lubed, and someone who knew what they were doing without causing damage or pain). That was the only time (only condition under which...) I had to have it. I didn't get it but I did have an Aha moment (losing my sodomy-desire virginity, which also added to my being compassionate and accepting).
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    Dec 20, 2015 2:14 PM GMT
    does ass sweat damage condoms?

    if a runner came home, not only with a wet t-shirt full of sweat but his running and sprinting made his butt crack sweat profusely, instead of getting wet wipes to get the sweat with some expectation of excrement in it off, is the condom likely to fail in sweat?
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    Dec 23, 2015 1:28 AM GMT
    Do something really really illegal, go to prison for a few years, wear saggy pants (prison symbol for wanting butt sex), and let the masters of anal teach you how to take it like a man. icon_twisted.gif
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    Dec 23, 2015 3:41 PM GMT
    StephenOABC saiddoes ass sweat damage condoms?

    if a runner came home, not only with a wet t-shirt full of sweat but his running and sprinting made his butt crack sweat profusely, instead of getting wet wipes to get the sweat with some expectation of excrement in it off, is the condom likely to fail in sweat?



    Only if he's a Virgo. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 02, 2016 10:12 PM GMT
    missionary sex is pathetic for bottoms. very painful but doggy, ah!
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    Jan 03, 2016 3:22 AM GMT
    This thread gets my vote for Most Ridiculous of 2016, but it is only January.