So I am at a crossroads..... Me and my mom just had the "TALK" sexuality...

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    Sep 22, 2015 2:25 AM GMT
    So I am at a crossroads..... Me and my mom just had the "TALK" I tried to make it short and quick but ... She asked me about my sexuality ... I was just like ummm I am a sexual I guess.. I haven't been with a girl in 5 years and a guy in 3 years.... She blames this guy that I used to talk to because she could sense something about him although he and I where in high school and friends.... I tried to tell her that it wasn't him ... But he sort of just taught me the world of homosexuality.... Anyways so now I don't know how to feel I mean I don't want it to be all about me and how I have went through 24 years of avoiding this conversation ... She said she wanted grand kids and she blames her self for not being more on top of things when I was younger , like the people I was around ..... Help me ... I am just ... Airy
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    Sep 22, 2015 2:38 AM GMT
    Don't know what you're really asking. Can you be more specific?
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    Sep 22, 2015 2:39 AM GMT
    You need more buttsects.
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    Sep 22, 2015 2:46 AM GMT
    I think you can take comfort in not being rejected and shut out. From what you say it seems like you can have a decent dialogue. With me, my mother had the same sort of regrets about maybe going wrong about how she raised me and she worried about grandchildren, too. All you can do is be forthcoming about who you are. Chances are she already knew and probably came to grips with it somewhat. Mothers pretty much know the truth when it comes to this. More importantly, if you aren't sure about who you are, you should give yourself time to figure that out.
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    Sep 22, 2015 2:48 AM GMT
    James_Thunder_Early saidI think you can take comfort in not being rejected and shut out. From what you say it seems like you can have a decent dialogue. With me, my mother had the same sort of regrets about maybe going wrong about how she raised me and she worried about grandchildren, too. All you can do is be forthcoming about who you are. Chances are she already knew and probably came to grips with it somewhat. Mothers pretty much know the truth when it comes to this.



    So what you're saying is you suggest more buttsects?
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    Sep 22, 2015 2:56 AM GMT
    Radd said
    James_Thunder_Early saidI think you can take comfort in not being rejected and shut out. From what you say it seems like you can have a decent dialogue. With me, my mother had the same sort of regrets about maybe going wrong about how she raised me and she worried about grandchildren, too. All you can do is be forthcoming about who you are. Chances are she already knew and probably came to grips with it somewhat. Mothers pretty much know the truth when it comes to this.



    So what you're saying is you suggest more buttsects?


    I suppose that could work too.
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    Sep 22, 2015 3:06 AM GMT
    imthatguy saidwent through 24 years of avoiding this conversation ... She said she wanted grand kids and she blames her self for not being more on top of things when I was younger ,


    sounds like she should have spent more time under some people if she wanted grandkids. Tell her to get on it while she has time.
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    Sep 22, 2015 3:14 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidDon't know what you're really asking. Can you be more specific?



    I'm just feeling weird I don't know what to think right now... I don't know how to console her with her confirmation of my sexuality ... I'm just really nervous
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    Sep 22, 2015 3:16 AM GMT
    Radd saidYou need more buttsects.



    What's that?
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    Sep 22, 2015 3:30 AM GMT
    imthatguy said
    UndercoverMan saidDon't know what you're really asking. Can you be more specific?



    I'm just feeling weird I don't know what to think right now... I don't know how to console her with her confirmation of my sexuality ... I'm just really nervous


    It's your business! No one needs to debate it and really at the end of the day....Do what makes you happy. I really don't attach labels to my sexuality. If you like a guy vs. a girl, it's that simple!
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    Sep 22, 2015 4:03 AM GMT
    imthatguy said
    UndercoverMan saidDon't know what you're really asking. Can you be more specific?



    I'm just feeling weird I don't know what to think right now... I don't know how to console her with her confirmation of my sexuality ... I'm just really nervous


    There's nothing you can do to console her other than to be the same person you've always been to her. Be honest with her. Don't tell her things you think she wants to hear but the things she needs to hear. She needs time to process. As far as grandchildren are concerned remind her that life holds no guarantees and that even if you were straight that's no guarantee you'd get married or have kids. Gently remind her that it's not kind of her to guilt trip you over something you have no control over.
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    Sep 22, 2015 4:12 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidGently remind her that it's not kind of her to guilt trip you over something you have no control over.

    That seems to be her problem. She believes that her son "became" gay because of external influences. Bad friends, and her own failure to better protect him against them.

    He was born gay, like the rest of us. Until she understands that, and maybe the OP as well, this conflict can't really be resolved.
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    Sep 22, 2015 6:44 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    UndercoverMan saidGently remind her that it's not kind of her to guilt trip you over something you have no control over.

    That seems to be her problem. She believes that her son "became" gay because of external influences. Bad friends, and her own failure to better protect him against them.

    He was born gay, like the rest of us. Until she understands that, and maybe the OP as well, this conflict can't really be resolved.




    I agree , thanks
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    Sep 22, 2015 6:45 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    imthatguy said
    UndercoverMan saidDon't know what you're really asking. Can you be more specific?



    I'm just feeling weird I don't know what to think right now... I don't know how to console her with her confirmation of my sexuality ... I'm just really nervous


    There's nothing you can do to console her other than to be the same person you've always been to her. Be honest with her. Don't tell her things you think she wants to hear but the things she needs to hear. She needs time to process. As far as grandchildren are concerned remind her that life holds no guarantees and that even if you were straight that's no guarantee you'd get married or have kids. Gently remind her that it's not kind of her to guilt trip you over something you have no control over.



    You are so right, geesh it just feels so weird.... Idk why ... I feel violated like I'm an open book now... Literally I have been so tense sense that conversation... Smh
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    Sep 22, 2015 12:17 PM GMT
    On the flip, at least it's not hanging over your head now. And she didn't say "get out of my face."

    It's natural for her to express some disappointment for life not following the script she was probably told it would by her own parents. Would be better if she didn't put that kind of pressure on you, but parents are human too, and flawed like the rest of us.

    Deep breath... all will be well.
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    Sep 22, 2015 12:47 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    imthatguy said
    UndercoverMan saidDon't know what you're really asking. Can you be more specific?



    I'm just feeling weird I don't know what to think right now... I don't know how to console her with her confirmation of my sexuality ... I'm just really nervous


    There's nothing you can do to console her other than to be the same person you've always been to her. Be honest with her. Don't tell her things you think she wants to hear but the things she needs to hear. She needs time to process. As far as grandchildren are concerned remind her that life holds no guarantees and that even if you were straight that's no guarantee you'd get married or have kids. Gently remind her that it's not kind of her to guilt trip you over something you have no control over.


    +1
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    Sep 22, 2015 1:22 PM GMT
    imthatguy said
    UndercoverMan said
    imthatguy said
    UndercoverMan saidDon't know what you're really asking. Can you be more specific?



    I'm just feeling weird I don't know what to think right now... I don't know how to console her with her confirmation of my sexuality ... I'm just really nervous


    There's nothing you can do to console her other than to be the same person you've always been to her. Be honest with her. Don't tell her things you think she wants to hear but the things she needs to hear. She needs time to process. As far as grandchildren are concerned remind her that life holds no guarantees and that even if you were straight that's no guarantee you'd get married or have kids. Gently remind her that it's not kind of her to guilt trip you over something you have no control over.



    You are so right, geesh it just feels so weird.... Idk why ... I feel violated like I'm an open book now... Literally I have been so tense sense that conversation... Smh


    That's understandable. You have just opened up to someone about the deepest secret you have been carrying around for years. You also need time to process and as you do you will become more comfortable with yourself.

    Trust me. You did the right thing being open and honest with your mom. I wish I could have been at your age; it would have saved me a others a world of pain and heartache.

    In the long run you will be fine.
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    Sep 22, 2015 1:24 PM GMT
    tell your parents its a double discount day;
    1)you refuse to blame your parents for your lack of self consideration.
    2)they didnt make you gay.

    serious tho; you need to start thinking what makes you happy in life.
    -Unless your already there.
    -Are you a proud homosexual but are you gay?
    -As a gay parent, children are possible but not necessary.
    -Would you be more likely to be more successful thinking about this when your 40 years old...