How to deal with religious relative

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 23, 2015 4:29 PM GMT
    I have a relative, a bunch of us are on group chat.
    What annoys me is that she keeps bringing up religious scriptures, and bunch of her message was about God and her religion. Though she never touch the gay subject, because there is me on the group chat.
    I wanna talk about something else, other than religion. And when I touch the religion subject, basically saying, about a certain topic, "you know I think it makes more sense in the time, hundred and hundred years ago, but I think it doesn't really apply now, practically."
    She replied, "OH MY GOD, these are God's words. God has good intention for all of us. Trust Him. Don't make your own rule. Live by his rules." and so on.. and so on... she left around more than 30 messages after that. All about God. No kidding.
    I really have to bite my tongue. And I'm considering leaving the group chat, but that would be rude. I feel like dealing with Carrie White's mom.

    what do you think? ever had similar experiences?
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    Sep 23, 2015 4:54 PM GMT
    You can't change the way she thinks and what she believes. You're also very unlikely (as in 0% probability) to be able to change her preaching and talking about god.

    So all you can do is ignore her. Never respond to anything religious that she says; act like she didn't say anything, even if she asks you a direct question that's religious.
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    Sep 23, 2015 6:25 PM GMT
    I'm not sure what "group chat" is, but if she is leaving "messages", can't they just be ignored? Sounds like the "chat" is not simultaneous, if she is leaving "messages." You might just say, that you are tired of hearing about god and her religion, and if she won't stop chatting about religion, you will leave the group. Then see what happens. Relative or not, who needs to listen to religious blabber?
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    Sep 23, 2015 6:48 PM GMT
    it's whatssapp. so my phone kept buzzing because of this.
    i was the only one who was "nice" enough to engage her in this discussion. i only left 2 messages. no one else dare to speak up. but i learned my lesson. next time i will just shut up.
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    Sep 23, 2015 6:55 PM GMT
    Ronar2 saidit's whatssapp. so my phone kept buzzing because of this.


    Does whatsapp or your phone have a means of putting her on "ignore"?
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    Sep 23, 2015 6:59 PM GMT
    HikerSkier said
    Ronar2 saidit's whatssapp. so my phone kept buzzing because of this.


    Does whatsapp or your phone have a means of putting her on "ignore"?

    I don't think so. so my only option is just to ignore it I guess.
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    Sep 23, 2015 8:21 PM GMT
    Start another group chat with everyone else and don't include her. Problem solved. Once she realizes no one is responding to her god texts (including god) she'll go away - with a martyr complex no doubt.
  • NursePractiti...

    Posts: 232

    Sep 23, 2015 9:09 PM GMT
    You could send information about how the bible was actually made and post things about Buddha, Judaism, etc. Or you just politely tell her that you don't follow her faith and to stop talking to you about it.
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    Sep 23, 2015 9:39 PM GMT

    tell them you are getting a tattoo


    Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
    300px-FSM_Logo.svg.png

  • coaster597

    Posts: 11

    Sep 24, 2015 12:15 AM GMT
    Buy her a copy of Jesus Interrputed for Christmas.
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    Sep 24, 2015 12:24 AM GMT
    My first encounter with proselytizing was an odd lady who hung out by the kindergarten/grade school handing out watchtower pamphlets. All my friends still remember her so she freaked us all out. I'm pretty sure today she'd be arrested for stalking children.

    Then in my late teens/early 20s I was friends with a real nice guy with his own charter fleet of yachts so that was fun but during that time his wife turned born again. Out of respect for his marriage, I had no intention of interfering or causing friction by saying anything but also I found it intolerable so I just let that friendship wane.

    I had two encounters in my 30s, one indirectly through a dear friend who's sister had turned Jew for Jesus, that's a born again with chutzpah, but there the only place I had was to offer a shoulder to my friend who was then caring for her mother with Alzheimer's while the proselytizer was leaving bibles bedside on her rare visits, my friend doing all the work. All of it. With little resource and no help from siblings. I knew that sister was a dick when we were little kids and sure enough she was a dick as an adult too.

    Then I had a cousin's Christian wife proselytizing religion and propagandizing with right wing material, flooding my email box on a regular basis while I was dealing with deaths of loved ones. Even while under so much stress, I remained calm and simply asked her politely to stop. Both she and my cousin stopped talking to me. People are idiots.

    The last time was a neighbor who was preaching at me for the first time. I'd been proselytized to but not by bible verse--except maybe for that odd lady but I was too young to now remember. I'd never been "preached at" before. I handled that with I think a good humor. Trying not to be condescending but understanding I said to him after letting him rant: "well, when you get to where you think you're going, I hope it all works out well for you, that you're not disappointed, that it turns out to be how you spent your life thinking it would."

    He's not mentioned religion to me since.

    Crap, I forgot one. The betrayer. That cousin had become a new ager. And she was so into all that Oprah and Wayne Dryer shit that she bought into their bullshit about ending relationships with people who don't agree with you. Holy fucking crap are you kidding me. I frankly don't give a crap what someone believes as long as they're not hurting others. But she proselytized new age as much as someone might any other fundamentalism. That on top of her other abuses destroyed our relationship. There was no stopping it.
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Sep 24, 2015 1:03 AM GMT
    Always amazes me that some Christians (your relative) seem to have a problem with God that I do not have. Perhaps one day He will sit them on His knee, take their head off, and place it back on for awhile backwards. icon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 24, 2015 1:48 AM GMT
    Ronar2 saidI have a relative, a bunch of us are on group chat.
    What annoys me is that she keeps bringing up religious scriptures, and bunch of her message was about God and her religion. Though she never touch the gay subject, because there is me on the group chat.
    I wanna talk about something else, other than religion. And when I touch the religion subject, basically saying, about a certain topic, "you know I think it makes more sense in the time, hundred and hundred years ago, but I think it doesn't really apply now, practically."
    She replied, "OH MY GOD, these are God's words. God has good intention for all of us. Trust Him. Don't make your own rule. Live by his rules." and so on.. and so on... she left around more than 30 messages after that. All about God. No kidding.
    I really have to bite my tongue. And I'm considering leaving the group chat, but that would be rude. I feel like dealing with Carrie White's mom.

    what do you think? ever had similar experiences?


    Tell her to watch this:



    Once she learns Jesus became an atheist and Communion is about atheism, she'll change. Ask her first, how would she react if she discovered Jesus became an atheist and Christianity is about atheism against Jesus' original notion of God. Tell her, it's time she got more mature about God. Tell her to give the video some thought.

    Tell her, a better notion of God is still good but she just needed to know some things about being religious.
  • bladeaddict

    Posts: 93

    Sep 24, 2015 4:12 AM GMT
    Religion is the scourge of the world. Not spirituality, but religion.
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    Sep 24, 2015 6:53 AM GMT
    Read up on conformance theory and brainwashing to understand false belief systems.

    You have a few choices.
    1. Leave the discussion.
    2. Suggest another topic.
    3. Deal with her bat shit crazy false belief system.

    Understand, that, to her, the false belief system is real. Folks with critical thinking skills know otherwise, but, she believes it, and believes you should, too. There's no changing that false belief system other than by education and the teaching of critical thinking skills. Likely, she wants neither.

    False belief systems are a clear and present danger to us all. We must educate young folks in truth-based belief systems because when they get older they fight truth.
  • metta

    Posts: 39144

    Sep 24, 2015 7:22 AM GMT
    If it were me, I would just try and be honest without being disrespectful of her beliefs. I would let her know that I don't belong to the same religion she does and that I have my own set of values and beliefs. That I respect that she has a different religion and I hope that she can respect that I have my own values and beliefs as well. If that does not work, then I would say that I think it would be best if we did not talk about religion.
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    Sep 24, 2015 4:37 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidStart another group chat with everyone else and don't include her. Problem solved. Once she realizes no one is responding to her god texts (including god) she'll go away - with a martyr complex no doubt.


    +1.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Sep 24, 2015 6:45 PM GMT
    The easiest way to deal with them is to ignore them, but that's not always in your best interest. If religious people should get to voice their opinions then everyone should be able to have their opinions heard, without being attacked, but that's just not the case. By letting religious people carry on without confronting them, nonreligious people are just letting the crazy people have the most airtime.

    One of my favorite expressions is, weak point, speak loudly.

    Religious people make a weak argument and offer no proof, but they get their message across by being the loudest.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Sep 24, 2015 8:58 PM GMT
    Check out this website for quotations from the Bible which no civilized person would accept literally:

    http://evilbible.com

    When people insist that every word in the Bible is from God, quote portions of the Bible that they would never accept and let them struggle to rationalize their irrational belief that every word in the Bible is from God.

    Assuming that every word in the Bible reflects the Word of God is nonsense, actually wicked nonsense. Much of the OT is nothing more than a reflection of ancient Hebrew culture parts of which I an quite certain God would not approve. Perhaps it is in the Bible simply to give us a better understanding of ancient Hebrew culture.

    There are also parts of the OT which are nothing more than ancient Hebrew history. But those of us who have studied history, including even American history, know that when people write their own history they distort it to rationalize the ghastly and horrible things they have done. No doubt the ancient Hebrews did that also.

    The Bible must be read with considerable judgment rather than blindly assuming that everything in it, especially the OT, actually expresses the Will of God.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Sep 24, 2015 10:07 PM GMT
    FRE0 saidCheck out this website for quotations from the Bible which no civilized person would accept literally:

    http://evilbible.com

    When people insist that every word in the Bible is from God, quote portions of the Bible that they would never accept and let them struggle to rationalize their irrational belief that every word in the Bible is from God.

    Assuming that every word in the Bible reflects the Word of God is nonsense, actually wicked nonsense. Much of the OT is nothing more than a reflection of ancient Hebrew culture parts of which I an quite certain God would not approve. Perhaps it is in the Bible simply to give us a better understanding of ancient Hebrew culture.

    There are also parts of the OT which are nothing more than ancient Hebrew history. But those of us who have studied history, including even American history, know that when people write their own history they distort it to rationalize the ghastly and horrible things they have done. No doubt the ancient Hebrews did that also.

    The Bible must be read with considerable judgment rather than blindly assuming that everything in it, especially the OT, actually expresses the Will of God.

    It sounds like you're trying to get people to read the bible ... which means you missed the point of this thread.icon_confused.gif
  • Mitch1

    Posts: 9

    Sep 24, 2015 11:11 PM GMT
    I'm on a group chat with my religious brother and sister in law, in spite of asking them to take me off repeatedly. I get texts from unidentified numbers saying things like "Praise Jesus" etc. and I've met some of their religious friends, who, I guess, are sending these messages.They are self centered in the extreme. Instead of doing some kind charity work or being of service to someone less fortunate they blab on and on about miracles and other bull. The jockeying for status in their conversations, based on some connection they have with a local priest or bishop, is pathetic.

    It used to irk the crap out of me till one day I realized that trying to reason with them would be like attempting to explain math to a cow. If I expect a cow, or a child, or religious zealot to be anything other than what it is I'm just asking for frustration.






  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 24, 2015 11:26 PM GMT
    I put up religious posts all the time on FB.If people are offended by me mentioning God then unfollow me.You don't have to unfriend.
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2937

    Sep 24, 2015 11:34 PM GMT
    I have a similar brother. I've cut him out of my life. I don't dwell on it, I'm nice to him when we have to interact, he's a decent enough human being. But he's wrong, and I simply ignore him. Problem, unfortunately, solved.
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    Sep 25, 2015 5:17 PM GMT
    I have an uncle who would say he wanted to come out to Seattle so he can go to the now defunct Mars Hill Church and meet Mark Driscoll, and then see me while he was here. Since I came out I would get periodic messages, letters and emails from him "worried" about my soul. For a while I was open to discussing the bible with him, but eventually it got to a point where I had to realize we were never going to change the other. I asked to agree to disagree and drop any discussion about religion.

    After the Supreme Court decision on marriage came out he posted something on Facebook about slippery slope to bestiality and polygamy. I thought of comments but didn't want to take the bait. The next day he tagged me into the message to get me to answer, I unfortunately took the bait and replied. The fallout comments from him and his friends only showed they are not open to rationality or discussion.

    A month ago he sent me a message that had an article his friend wrote claiming the gays were bringing about God's wrath on America, pointing to droughts in California specifically as a sign. I replied but also asked to not continue to have these conversations. He sent another message, claiming rather irately that I haven't answered his questions because I can't support my views. I did write back first answering his questions but then saying since he has not respected my request to stop this discussion we will no longer speak. I blocked him from Facebook and phone.

    Two days ago I got an email from him saying how wronged he was for my blocking him, and if my grandmother were still alive I would have to block here too. I didn't reply and blocked his emails.

    So what I learned.
    1. Feel free to engage in conversation with religious people if it's a conversation.
    2. Once you know there is no conversation and it's just a pissing contest, Let them know you have no interest in further discussion about religion.
    3. If they persist, drop communication. Block calls, emails, whatever
    4. Find your allies in your family. Through all this crap with this uncle I've been able to find support with other family members (aunts, uncles, cousins) and have had great support from my friends, and mostly from my partner.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 25, 2015 5:26 PM GMT
    tazzari saidI have a similar brother. I've cut him out of my life. I don't dwell on it, I'm nice to him when we have to interact, he's a decent enough human being. But he's wrong, and I simply ignore him. Problem, unfortunately, solved.


    My brother and I get on really well, but politically we are poles apart. We hardly ever discuss politics. We've never made any agreement not to do so, but I think we just sense it isn't a good place to go.