No Anal?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 25, 2015 3:59 PM GMT
    I'm not too keen on anal and could care less if I did it or not. With that being said, I've never topped and never really bottomed before. I like giving bj's because I like seeing my guy in pleasure. Hand jobs are nice too. I'm super easy to get off, btw. Are there others out there who don't really care for anal? Am I naive to think that I'd find someone who doesn't want it?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4434

    Sep 25, 2015 4:33 PM GMT
    You've probably reduced your potential dating pool by 90%. Look, shit is shitty and until you actually feel anal, top or bottom, you have no idea what it is about and it does seem shitty. The fact is you have erogenous receptors in your arse, we all do, and if you're inclined to top, the in-and-out is biologically hard-wired. You just sound scared. Done right, it is very intimate. Or mind-blowing.
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    Sep 25, 2015 4:50 PM GMT
    Get fucked man. It feels amazing.
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    Sep 25, 2015 7:21 PM GMT
    If you like to masturbate you can top. Bottoming I find is way to difficult for me, but, I do make sacrifices for my boyfriend.
  • kredone

    Posts: 15

    Sep 26, 2015 4:59 AM GMT
    This is a long answer that really should just be: there are guys out there who dont want to have penetrative anal sex and others who enjoy any of the many forms of physical expression that don't strictly include anal simulation.

    My long opinion on the subject: I think there is a strong focus on anal sex between gay men that exists in gay and straight circles. Being a gay guy doesn't automatically make you interested in anal sex. Not every gay guy wants to have penetrative anal sex and some guys do it because they feel like they are supposed to in order to meet their partners needs.

    How many are there that don't have anal sex? I don't know and I imagine the numbers are rather low. I have talked to gay guys who say they are interested in penetrative sex and after knowing them for a few years and asking them about their preferences they admit what they do with their partner isn't always a sexual position they want to be in. That leads me to assume there are probably a large group of people who have penetrative sex based solely on the experience they've had with the partners they have chosen. It is difficult to make a sweeping statement that everyone likes this or that and it be true.

    I'm getting long winded but anytime I hear someone asking about something like this and getting advice to just try it reminds me of being young and scared of sex with a guy in general. The idea of anal sex was scary to think about and there being roles that everyone seems to know and know what they like and I didn't have any idea made me wonder how they knew. I didn't like the terms top, bottom, and versatile because there are so many assumptions made with those terms. How did they get over their fear to try all of this.

    I learned about frottage (rubbing genitalia together) during this period is trying to find out what kind of sex could I have and be comfortable with. Eventually I did try anal sex with a partner. It was scary, I was afraid to hurt him, I didn't know what to do. He helped guide me through the experience and it was awkward as many first times can be. The next time was a different story, less awkward, still nerve racking, but much more rewarding. I enjoyed my experience. Over time and with other relationships I've tried both positions and have enjoyed and disliked both on different occasions. I felt comfortable trying and had partners i could communicate with and feel comfortable with. Trusting your partner to stop or ask you to stop anything you try is also important in being comfortable should you ever want to see what it is like. Factors can play into it that really matter and communication with your partner is very important. After all, it is about pleasure and if it feels good for both of you then that is a good thing.

    There is a lot that can go on when you are intimate with a partner. I wouldn't want to advise you to try it just because others do it and it feels good. It feels good because they are comfortable with it. If you try it being uncomfortable with it, it might not be a pleasant experience. You can have sex and not have penetrative anal sex and it be very satisfying. I agree that it can be very satisfying to see the pleasure you are providing your partner. Finding a partner who appreciates pleasure outside of anal simulation may take a little more time but please never feel pressured to try anything you are not comfortable with trying.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 26, 2015 10:16 AM GMT
    No lots of guys as of late aren't into anal. It's not that common, but there are guys recently who don't do it.

    Keep calm, I'm sure you will still be able to find someone who can agree or compromise.

    It's a hard pill to swallow, and again it's not common or well understood, but there are guys myself included who would rather not anal.

    I only do it under rare circumstances, and for closed minded guys in which it's a must.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 26, 2015 5:01 PM GMT
    Tushies can be cute. That's why they call them tushies. But ass is gross. That's why they call it ass. They put it all the way in the back so you don't have to look at it. If it was pretty like penis they'd have put it up front and center where you could show it off without looking like you're trying to get your head up your ass.

    You might have noticed farts come out of your ass. They designed it like that on purpose. That's so you can walk away from your farts. Otherwise you'd walk into them. Eww. And nothing that smells like fart can be good for you. A fart blows away from the body like an advanced warning system: Beware of Ass. It's like outdated milk. Here, does this smell bad to you? eww.
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    Sep 26, 2015 5:06 PM GMT
    theantijock saidTushies can be cute. That's why they call them tushies. But ass is gross. That's why they call it ass. They put it all the way in the back so you don't have to look at it. If it was pretty like penis they'd have put it up front and center where you could show it off without looking like you're trying to get your head up your ass.

    You might have noticed farts come out of your ass. They designed it like that on purpose. That's so you can walk away from your farts. Otherwise you'd walk into them. Eww. And nothing that smells like fart can be good for you. A fart blows away from the body like an advanced warning system: Beware of Ass. It's like outdated milk. Here, does this smell bad to you? eww.


    too funny! =D
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    Sep 26, 2015 5:31 PM GMT
    swimjammer said

    too funny! =D


    I know. It's ass. How could it not be funny. The only time to take ass seriously is for those who do get into it (and see stats below--it definitely is not all of us--then use a condom. That much is serious.

    Destinharbor saidYou've probably reduced your potential dating pool by 90%...


    um, no, and frankly that's very unfair pressure.

    http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/s.htm
    Anal sex - males and females

    Percentage of males and females 15-44 years of age in 2002 and 2006-2010 who have ever had anal sex with an opposite-sex partner:
    ........2002......2006/10....2011/13
    Men.....34.0%......37.0%.......38.9%
    Women...30.0%......31.6%.......33.1%

    Sexual activity between males (I believe by the numbers that this includes heteros, not just gay. Also they didn't break out just anal so I've included here oral vs oral plus anal from which we can possibly extrapolate)

    Percentage of males 15-44 years of age who have ever had oral or anal sex with another male
    ...................................2006-10.....2011-13
    % males aged 15-44 oral..............5.1.........5.7
    % males aged 15-44 oral/anal.........5.0.........5.5

    http://www.salon.com/2012/10/05/anal_sex_sciences_last_taboo/
    ...2009 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior found that as many as 40-45 percent of women and men in some age groups had tried anal sex...

    Some research has found that anal sex was shown in 56 percent of sex scenes studied even though national data of real people’s sex lives show that fewer than 5 percent of Americans had anal sex during their most recent sexual experience


    http://www.wisconsingazette.com/breaking-news/study-anal-sex-least-common-love-making-activity-among-gay-men.html
    Study: anal sex least common love-making activity among gay men

    Only 37.2 percent of men who participated in the study reported having anal sex during their last encounters. The most frequent sexual behavior reported was kissing – 74.5 percent. The second-most popular behavior was oral sex (72.7 percent), followed by partnered masturbation (68.4 percent).


    http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2011.02438.x/abstract
    Results.  Participants' mean age was 39.2 years; ethnicities included white (84.6%), Latino (6.4%), and African American (3.6%); and most men (79.9%) identified as homosexual. The most commonly reported behavior was kissing a partner on the mouth (74.5%), followed by oral sex (72.7%), and partnered masturbation (68.4%). Anal intercourse occurred among less than half of participants (37.2%) and was most common among men ages 18–24 (42.7%). Sex was most likely to occur in the participant's home (46.8%), with less frequently reported locations including hotels (7.4%) and public spaces (3.1%). The number of behaviors engaged in during last sexual event varied with most (63.2%) including 5–9 different sexual behaviors.
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    Sep 26, 2015 8:01 PM GMT
    Okay, I'd be willing to give it a go for the right guy. What made me change my mind was last night in the shower I think I found my prostate. I know it's totally different with a finger, but the orgasm was pretty intense.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 26, 2015 9:08 PM GMT
    I don't think you are naive. There are definitely people who don't care for it. They are just hard to find. Like the Kredone has mentioned, don't feel pressured to do anything you don't feel like. It is relatively scary and honestly I still don't know how people can take it and enjoy it. I am usually the one who gives and my boyfriend seems to love it. Even though I was terrified I decided to try it and even though he was very loving and slow I did not like it. Of course I managed to convince myself it might just be because I am not used to it and I am in the middle of trying to learn how to relax. I have yet to understand how pleasurable it can be. I still prefer to give but I am ok if we didn't have anal at all. I love him and as long as I have my hand and oral I am ok.

    Long story short, everybody has their own preferences so don't think that you are weird or anything like that. Everybody's body is different. But try it at least once, of course when you are comfortable and find a nice guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 26, 2015 9:12 PM GMT
    Anal is more intimate whether people accept it or not. If you want to bottom then have a manual. Try some kamasutra positions. I hope the pleasure will be beyond satisfying.

    Be clean and be hygiene so that you don't have to worry at the last minute. Don't worry your ass will get used to taking extra hot meat.icon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 27, 2015 4:20 AM GMT
    I can relate. No anal for me. icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 29, 2015 10:52 AM GMT
    swimjammer saidOkay, I'd be willing to give it a go for the right guy. What made me change my mind was last night in the shower I think I found my prostate. I know it's totally different with a finger, but the orgasm was pretty intense.


    Practice with a dildo.

    Don't ever feel pressured to do anything you don't enjoy or are not comfortable with. If you don't want to do anal then I'm sure there are plenty of other guys who don't want to do it either and you can explore plenty of other sexually satisfying acts.

    For me it's pretty much required though icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 29, 2015 11:36 AM GMT
    Then you are neither Top or Bottom and not even Versatile either. I agree with the other reply to this Forum Post...you have decreased your chances of Dating by 90%. If some Guy said to me, he would just like to 'spank my Monkey', I would drop-him-like-it's-hot cause I can do that all by myself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 29, 2015 4:58 PM GMT
    Maybe you need this link...

    http://g0ys.org/whosentyou.htm
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    Sep 29, 2015 5:48 PM GMT
    StudlyScrewRite said Maybe you need this link...

    http://g0ys.org/whosentyou.htm


    Interesting, but I don't see anal as a form of sexual disrespect. Thanks for that link. It cleared up a lot of my misconceptions about the g0y movement.

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    Sep 30, 2015 6:37 AM GMT
    swimjammer said
    StudlyScrewRite said Maybe you need this link...

    http://g0ys.org/whosentyou.htm


    Interesting, but I don't see anal as a form of sexual disrespect. Thanks for that link. It cleared up a lot of my misconceptions about the g0y movement.


    Okay, I read it further and can understand their viewpoint on two guys being intimate and having a deep care for one another. They completely look down on anything that would be perceived as effeminate, though, as a ways to affirm their masculinity. My understanding is that this new subculture is a bunch of masculine-presenting men who don't want to be associated with the effeminate-perceived gay culture. They mention some verses in scripture as a kind of basis for this belief which I found interesting. I wonder if it was a Christian who came up with this whole concept?

    I can kind of relate on the desire to share a deeper relationship with another man and can even relate to the aversion to anal sex. However, I feel this new movement creates a division between the gay movement in general.

    I used to refrain from calling myself gay for the exact same reasons that these g0ys refuse to. When one mentions the word gay, esp in more conservative circles, there is this association of rainbows and anal sex. When I came out to my mom earlier this year, she immediately thought I'd be sleeping around. I had to tell her that I'm the same boy that she raised, nothing has changed at all about me and I just wanted to be authentic and as real as possible. Now, that I'm completely out I have no issue with telling others I'm gay. Who cares what others think anyway? How I want to enjoy my relationship with another is my business. I think that is what the real issue is--their fear of how others will perceive them. Who cares?
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    Sep 30, 2015 12:18 PM GMT
    swimjammer saidI'm not too keen on anal and could care less if I did it or not. With that being said, I've never topped and never really bottomed before. I like giving bj's because I like seeing my guy in pleasure. Hand jobs are nice too. I'm super easy to get off, btw. Are there others out there who don't really care for anal? Am I naive to think that I'd find someone who doesn't want it?

    Never topped or bottomed, and yet you try to be an expert on sex and relationships? You should run for congress as another entitled clueless white dude.
  • cgr1

    Posts: 28

    Oct 05, 2015 5:24 AM GMT
    This is a question that can not have a simple answer, adapted to everyone. Paradoxically, it is asked only when it comes to having himself the role of the low. Now, to justify a refusal of penetration, the answers given by the Member spoke several reasons, more or less formal.
    Certainly, given the role of the ass in removing remains of digestion, it is normal to fear that this is reflected in terms of penetration. But when we have a sexual relationship with a partner, we have a degree of privacy that makes an incident can be an opportunity to incorporate gestures cleaning areas that may be soiled, gestures that will confirm this privacy, when each clean the body of the other.
    What's funny is that the "dirty" side is not mentioned for blowjobs. However, the penis is used to remove the liquid also from digestion. But that does not bother to take it in her mouth!
    There is also that by the parallel with hetero sexuality is the woman who is penetrated. So a man who allows himself to be penetrated by another man is effeminate by that acceptance. In fact, words "top" and "bottom" well underline this concept of domination of one over the other. Couples where both are versatile, does not pose the question because they change roles and the pleasures alternating positions.
    Now I have left for last, something that is important and for that, I will discuss my personal experience.
    I was married and I had little homosexual experience. When I was forty years old, I met a man with whom we exchanged hugs and blowjobs. I felt great in his arms and one day, I began to feel a desire to go further with him. I felt an excitement in my anus that his penis might satisfy. I have expressed to him and he was glad to hear because he wanted to take me too. So I left him free access to my body by putting my 4 legged on the bed to facilitate access. I was very comfortable and very confident, when he started to tickle me rondelleavec his fingers. Using the gel, slowly he started to penetrate me, one, then two, then three fingers opened and gradually expanded my sphincter to prepare. He was behind me and I let him do it, my final desire to host his penis was always great. When he felt that the move was sufficient, he tried to substitute his penis in her fingers. But when his penis touched my anus, I had a sudden my sphincter contraction which resulted in great pain that prevented his penis to enter where his fingers came and went a while ago. We waited a while and then we try to repeat the experience 2 or 3 times. But each time, there was pain at the time he would get his penis into the open passage through his fingers.
    Later, trying to understand why I had not been able to complete the physical relationship with my boyfriend, I think it's my subconscious that played me this trick. My body was ok to be penetrated as it left the fingers move. But my subconscious objected to me to become a "motherfucker" if the penis anus had crossed the threshold and settled entirely within my body. I would not have been a virgin! Later, I was deflowered, but paradoxically, I forgot what circumstances. But I know I must have a certain degree of agreement with my partner, it's not just any penis that can pass.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 05, 2015 6:36 PM GMT
    Never cared for it much (various reasons), but I've done it for the 2 guys I've been in LTR's with since they did. I'm highly aware I'm in a minority but I was never very promiscuous so I'm not sure its affected me much.

    And my ass is BIG too. The tops of the world cry out at the injustice haha. I used to really hate it but I think I've made peace with it now. A guy who grabbed it at a bar recently (rude, but that's what you can get at bars) told me he crossed the street to come back to see it a second time. I laughed with him and sent him on his way :p

    Anyway, bottoming can definitely give you an intense orgasm, as you experienced. You can try topping if you find a guy you really like who wants it. You're gonna have to deal with it slipping out and stuff so if you're too squeamish you might have him just sit on you and do it all. Shit is disgusting but does wash away real easy if it happens (ask any parent). Try to think of it as dirt or something.

    If you ultimately come to the conclusion that you still don't like it, stick to your guns. There are so many dudes out there that are thrilled to just suck dick or JO, etc., especially with a guy they think is hot. I wouldn't worry about limiting your dating pool unless you care about guys who only care about your ass.

    I guess I'll add that you should try playing with your nipples while jerking off if you never have. The prostate isn't the only thing that can do fun things icon_biggrin.gif
  • spirou

    Posts: 38

    Oct 05, 2015 10:15 PM GMT
    well i' m anal only .

    and it feel as if their is more poeple out there that would like BJ only rather then anal only .

    if it mix , most anal can't seem to do it with out a BJ first . or some of them rather do only BJ then do both .

    maybe i'm just getting buttom trying to get me in their ass . but it not really working .

    from my point of view , if you got the BJ part done , you'r ahead of me who anal only .
  • btm7969

    Posts: 97

    Nov 13, 2015 5:37 PM GMT
    Well I'm a btm that will enjoy anal sex with my loverwhomever it shall be as long as u use protective condoms and all I've heard anal sex is good and great with that being said this btm needs it bad ))==8 icon_smile.gif