Is going to gay bars a good idea when you're new in town?

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    Sep 26, 2015 10:14 PM GMT
    Notice I said good idea...as no idea is really "bad". Little play on words there.

    Anyhow, so I'm in Nashville. I just got a place here, but I'm BORED lol. It's kinda a semi-temporary situation, kinda like being hired as a temp with no actual time frame. I still have my little apartment out west.

    I've been to Nashville a handful of times, but never checked out a bar. Im thinking of it, but I'm just kinda over it. Bars are just becoming too weird for me. They don't seem like social meeting places anymore. People go to socialize with people they already know, or thru someone they know.

    Going to the bars can be fun and productive in some areas, but I just don't the idea of wasting a night bullshitting with people. I'm actually going back to the Grindr/Scruff thing as a better way to meet people when you don't know anyone...but sometimes you waste a night on there too. But, I met some good people in Orlando from Grindr, but in Denver it's a goddam waste of my battery life.

    Also the age differences. I know discrimination is illegal, but I wish there were bars that had a 25 and up ONLY policy lol. Or a place where ONLY guys under 30 could go to. I'm running into guys either too young or too old in bars (I don't mind older guys, but when you find out they had an entire former life, or a 10 year relationship, divorced, kids, child support and all that SHIT, and now just going to a bar to drink away or find a young thing to get their groove back..,that's too much baggage), and the guys my age are just there to be silly and flighty. icon_mad.gif you try to get a vibe going, but their fat jealous friend (or even attractive friend), or group of fag hags drags them away to another bar or talks them away from developing anything. I HATE that lol.
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    Sep 26, 2015 10:28 PM GMT
    I stopped going to bars after I turned 30. The only times I do go is when I'm on vacay and it becomes a time waster. Last one I went to was the Abbey on West Hollywood. I was impressed on how the bartenders introduced themselves to you when you order a drink. That was new to me. And the drinks were excellent because my hangover lasted about 36 hours. icon_smile.gif
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    Sep 26, 2015 10:36 PM GMT
    Erik101 saidI stopped going to bars after I turned 30. The only times I do go is when I'm on vacay and it becomes a time waster. Last one I went to was the Abbey on West Hollywood. I was impressed on how the bartenders introduced themselves to you when you order a drink. That was new to me. And the drinks were excellent because my hangover lasted about 36 hours. icon_smile.gif


    Yes, the abbey lol. I had drinks there, and a good time with a guy I met in LA. Now, I'll say...those kinda cities are different. When I'm in LA or Miami or Dallas, I HAVE to go to a bar because there's so many people traveling or visiting and in the same position. Thats called nightlife. But, some old trashy bar charging $5 cover and $9 drinks (Southern Nights Orlando) with no parking, I don't like that shit. I prefer a decent bar, with drinks no more than $5 and no cover.

    I also cringe at wallflowers, and I hate being a wallflower too. But when you're alone and don't know anyone, the only other option is to either wait for someone to speak to you (which Usually in gay bars, can take hours or never if you're intimidating or Black), or run up and talk to someone...which may or may not be worth it.
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    Sep 26, 2015 10:48 PM GMT
    The older guys have too much baggage and the younger guys are packed too light. Where have I heard that before? Oh, now I remember you...

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    To arrive at an answer, Goldilocks, stop second guessing.
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    Sep 27, 2015 4:41 AM GMT
    Lol, I'm just generally speaking. Most of the older guys I've met in bars do tend to have a previous life and are either drowning their sorrows in alcohol, or are living a carefree, no commitment to anyone lifestyle. Or they just got out of a long relationship and bring that baggage to the next. I kid you not, that's been the case with the last few I've met. They were great guys, they just had too much "relationship" baggage. Many times involving me handing out kleenexes because their crying over their exes.

    I sometimes prefer the younger guys because they have less baggage, but they don't take the club serious. They can talk to you one minute, and forget about you the next. And that stupid game, "see how many numbers you can get". Exactly why I don't give mine out to just anyone.

    At 28, I find I'm syncing with the 28-35 crowd.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Sep 27, 2015 12:23 PM GMT
    anytime someone's new in town, it's always wise to check out the surroundings, especially if they're related to any of your hobbies/interests. (go to the gay bar, damn the concequences. if it's a bad time, you'll know not to go again.)
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    Sep 27, 2015 2:46 PM GMT
    If the work situation drags on and/or you are considering a longer-term stay or permanent move, it seems worth it to give the gay nightlife a shot to see how it is.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Sep 27, 2015 3:12 PM GMT
    For most people, it's not such a bad idea, but for the OP. Yes, it is a bad idea. He will inevitably get annoyed or in a fight with someone or meet "a flake" that will end up pissing him off. So, it just depends.
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    Sep 27, 2015 7:24 PM GMT
    Import saidFor most people, it's not such a bad idea, but for the OP. Yes, it is a bad idea. He will inevitably get annoyed or in a fight with someone or meet "a flake" that will end up pissing him off. So, it just depends.

    Lol. I was thinking the same.