What's the difference between a ho, a sex addict, a prostitute and a gay guy "just having fun/freedom?"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 27, 2015 6:27 AM GMT
    Before I start, I'm going to say the ever cliched phrase people tell me when they notice I'm gay and for pay, and want to be passive aggressive: I'm not passing judgement. Yes, bitch you are fucking passing judgement otherwise you wouldn't of said it.

    Now thats out the way, I have a question: what differentiates the above? I had a long drawn out argument with a couple guys last week about this very topic. Someone bought up a guy who escorts, is in an open relationship, and the both of them play on the side and the guy apparently cruises Grindr, the gym, and bathhouse for sex also.

    I said, that's a ho. But I said it in a way like when gay guys call women bitches or whores. Guy got mad at me and claimed I'm judging, and who am I to judge? I was like umm...look at the circumstances. You have a guy who's a sex worker, yet is also in a relationship, while also having sex with men outside of the relationship. Maybe the word is sex addict?

    I ask because, I believe many men out in the scene are sex addicts. Sex addiction is never discussed. I think there is a lot of ho-ish behavior that would make a hooker look like a school girl/boy. And I say it not with judgement, but rather as a way of asking, what are you? I think gay men have a hard time identifying who they are sexually. The blanket statement of top, bottom, gay covers up words like tramp, ho, cumbucket, sex addict. I don't like that because gay guys can do some pretty sleazy stuff, and instead of calling it what it is, they just say, "just being gay". And then we wonder why straight people look at us like we have a disease.

    When I hear about guys/friends sleeping around with partnered men on the low, whom are known for sleeping around and cheating, and not thinking twice, I just wonder...where is your self respect? You're not a prostitute but you're sleeping around more than 1. But then people try to put down escorts, yet those same guys are watching porn round the clock, hooking up with different guys every day, fucking other people's man, sleeping with guys their friend slept with, etc.

    I don't know where I'm getting at here, and I'm sure someone will want to kill me after reading this, but just know I'm not doing it out of self-hate or judgement:


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    Sep 27, 2015 6:34 AM GMT
    ....in continuation, I'm not saying be a nun and don't have sex, I'm not saying sexual freedom equates to being a ho. I should know, I was the king of hoes, but only when I wasn't in a relationship. I also understand people want to explore to find what works for them. But I do look at the circumstances, and also say gays should take a bit more responsibility when it comes to sex. A guy will sleep with their best friends date, want to have sex with every Black or White male that gives you eye contact, spend day and night cruising for sex, and call it sexual freedom. No, thats being a ho or sex addict.

    Now, if you're young and single...or like to get into 1 night stand once in awhile with other single guys, that's whatever. But come on, don't question or turn your nose up at a sex worker, when you're out doing the same thing for free. And don't be making sucking noises, or grinding your ass up on me when I'm out at the club with my date, which gay guys seem to think is acceptable. In a straight club, that person would get busted in their fucking face, with a fist, not a dick lol. Does that make sense to anybody?

  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 871

    Sep 27, 2015 7:02 AM GMT
    Nope. It does not make much sense at all.

    A dude is a dude, and he does what he does. He likes what he likes, and he usually criticizes what he dislikes. Trying to fit it all into neat and labelled categories is futile.

    Societies have been always keen on shaming sexual workers. Those are the folks who charge dough for what most of us do for free. The point here is that the society perceives a sexual worker as someone who does not sell his sex alone but rather trades off his natural right to choose his partners for a payment. True for many, and probably less true for some, this sale of your natural right for cash is the actual basis for a wide-spread shaming.

    Some guys believe that in war and sex/love anything goes. If a dude sleeps around with his best buddies' mates, a few guys stand up and start shaming this kind of behaviour, neglecting the fact that it takes two to tango. Say, you want to sleep with this hott dude who is dating your buddy. The hott dude has every right to say, 'nope, dude, I am dating, AND we are going monogamous, so, No, Thanks, but NO.

    What you are addressing here are really two issues:

    First off, the idea that a guy has to take it upon himself to be someone's moral guardian. Adults are adults precisely because they know how take care of their issues. Everyone out there is first and foremost out to foster his own interest, and to a lesser degree to guard the universal morality. If the two conflict, the chances are that the dude will go for whatever he sees as being beneficial for him at the expense of the general norms.

    Second off, it is the sense of self-entitlement that has been deeply ingrained into many people these days. Say, I am entitled to be 'protected' by the moral attitudes of my friends. Actually, I doubt this very much. Sure, I rely to a degree on their moral integrity, but only to a degree. It is really up to me and my partner to agree on how we want to handle the issue of monogamy. Relying on everyone else to safeguard the sanctity of our own agreements and deals is a bit preposterous, isn't it?

    Remember, you lock up your house knowing pretty well that a determined guy will find a way to break in, if he chooses to do so. You lock up your house, mostly because you want to make sure that otherwise honest people are not brought into the temptation to see it as a free give-away...

    SC
  • Wendigo9

    Posts: 426

    Sep 27, 2015 7:32 AM GMT
    Hmm. . . . they sound all the same by description, but then again money can be a divider for some of them. My years of fooling around was mostly for "helping a guy out" and being asked for "round 2" showed me not all guys are jerks like the one timer types. All and all, you tell me if money's the game or not.
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    Sep 27, 2015 8:25 AM GMT
    SilverRRCloud saidNope. It does not make much sense at all.

    A dude is a dude, and he does what he does. He likes what he likes, and he usually criticizes what he dislikes. Trying to fit it all into neat and labelled categories is futile.

    SC


    Exactly, which is what I trying to get at. It's all one in the same.

    But, you're being very general though. A dude is a dude. So he has no responsibility to be held a little accountable for his actions? He can just do whatever he wants without weighing or assessing the situation?

    But you're right, a guy can do what he wants...but is it going to be something that benefits or does a disservice to the other person? See, it ain't all about them. It takes 2 to tango? You mother fucking right it does. You goddam right. But I already mentioned guys who are partnered and play on the side.

    Again, this is no diss to 3soms, open relationships, or sexual curiosity/exploration. I just don't like sleazy low class stuff. For example, there was one guy who came to me awhile back saying he was partnered, open relationship. Fair enough. I fucked with him. But then, I found out he was fucking my friend (who was a stingy, jealous HO, and claimed to not want to "share" him..,ho please, you're sharing him with the whole city p), and then every time I seen him, he was trying to fuck someone outside his relationship, while still asking to fuck me! He's still trying to fuck with me and I told him 1,000 times I won't fuck with him anymore. He quickly got demoted to sleaze bag ho category...and most likely it's an undiagnosed sexual addiction.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Sep 27, 2015 12:34 PM GMT
    easy differences:
    the addict is craving sex. They need it to function, but it's generally never enough, or the "feel good" moment just doesn't last long enough.

    the ho/prostitute is being paid. they're a "Professional" because they're being paid.

    None of this is exclusive (one can be a sex addicted prostitute), but it certainly helps for making distinctions about labels.
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    Sep 27, 2015 1:01 PM GMT
    Are you really THAT lost?

    Sex addict: Has free sex with anyone that will take him.

    Prostitute: Has sex in exchange of money.

    Gay guy "just having fun/freedom?": Likes sex, but unlike the sex addict hes got some standards.
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    Sep 27, 2015 1:59 PM GMT
    Judging here:
    I'm a gay guy having fun
    A ho is someone having more sex than I do
    A prostitute charges
    A sex-addict, I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole.

    I wonder what the purpose of this excercise is. Everyone uses judgements according to his own personal definitions as there are no generally accepted definitions. Sex-addict is a medical term and should only be used by doctors, addicts and therapists, but not by judgmental queens.

    If you couldn't say it to someone's face you shouldn't use it with a third person either.
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    Sep 27, 2015 4:31 PM GMT
    Thanks everyone for the helpful opinions. I just want to make sure people know what the difference is.

    bhp91126 said I
    If you couldn't say it to someone's face you shouldn't use it with a third person either.


    Correction, I Have said it to someone's face. I tell a friend of mine all the time that his sex addiction is annoying and I don't want to hear about it. That's the other thing. I don't talk about my sex life. Some people can't get enough of talking about it

    sonofyoda saidI think you need to stop worrying about other people and how they live their lives.


    No no no....it's not their life, it's my life too. I'm gonna tell you why I'm worried about it, because it still affects me and the people around me.

    Do you know out of the only 2 gay guys who approached me at the gym, both of them were trying to get me to have sex at the gym, or very shortly after? When I go out, certain gay guys think it's acceptable to make passes and do lil innuendos in my face or behind my back with Someone I'm interested in. I've had to bitch slap a couple friends like that because I introduce them to someone, and they think that's a free pass to be a ho.

    And I'm also tired of guys approaching me, thinking I'm some kind of fucking machine to satisfy their insatiable sexual thirst...thinking the gay guy is just some sort of hypersexual demon with not much purpose but to fuck ass. Now, in escort mode that's 1 thing...but in normal life that's something different. It's like expecting the rock, Dwayne Johnson himself...to want to wrestle and beat people up 24/7, and then have him come home and still want him to role play and be the wrestleman. No, that's a character.
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    Sep 27, 2015 5:35 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs27 saidThanks everyone for the helpful opinions. I just want to make sure people know what the difference is.

    bhp91126 said I
    If you couldn't say it to someone's face you shouldn't use it with a third person either.


    Correction, I Have said it to someone's face. I tell a friend of mine all the time that his sex addiction is annoying and I don't want to hear about it. That's the other thing. I don't talk about my sex life. Some people can't get enough of talking about it

    sonofyoda saidI think you need to stop worrying about other people and how they live their lives.


    No no no....it's not their life, it's my life too. I'm gonna tell you why I'm worried about it, because it still affects me and the people around me.

    Do you know out of the only 2 gay guys who approached me at the gym, both of them were trying to get me to have sex at the gym, or very shortly after? When I go out, certain gay guys think it's acceptable to make passes and do lil innuendos in my face or behind my back with Someone I'm interested in. I've had to bitch slap a couple friends like that because I introduce them to someone, and they think that's a free pass to be a ho.

    And I'm also tired of guys approaching me, thinking I'm some kind of fucking machine to satisfy their insatiable sexual thirst...thinking the gay guy is just some sort of hypersexual demon with not much purpose but to fuck ass. Now, in escort mode that's 1 thing...but in normal life that's something different. It's like expecting the rock, Dwayne Johnson himself...to want to wrestle and beat people up 24/7, and then have him come home and still want him to role play and be the wrestleman. No, that's a character.



    Can you stop acting like an angry black man for just one second in your life? No wonder nobody likes you and you are driven out of every city you lived in.

    You are a disgusting, violent scum. Plain and simple.

    When I made the rude black people thread, you were one of the persons I had in mind. And you prove it more and more with every post you make.

    Calm down. Relax. Eat a cookie. Just stop acting like a stereotype you dumb animal....icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Sep 27, 2015 6:28 PM GMT
    This s a silly exercise: an escort who wants to be let off the hook of sexual prejudice.

    But he gets all moralistic about it? As Dave Chappell would say "nigger, PLEASE!"
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    Sep 27, 2015 8:20 PM GMT
    sonofyoda said
    timmm55 saidThis s a silly exercise: an escort who wants to be let off the hook of sexual prejudice.

    But he gets all moralistic about it? As Dave Chappell would say "nigger, PLEASE!"



    I notice how a good number of posters particularly some whites, hispanics, latinos, and non blacks are too comfortable saying racial slurs in the open or feel the need to be blatantly racist on here mainly towards black people and asians. I also have to question the people in charge of this site to why there hasn't been any intervention towards members that seem to be fond of that negative behavior. Is this one of those racist sites like stormfront or chimpout?

    Care to explain why you said that word even if it were to offend people in here.



    If you didn't get what Chappelle said, he, as a black man, was telling another black man, to get over his bull shit.....face to face to a person of his own race.

    I think Dave Chappelle is utterly brilliant!

    You can search all you like, I've never said it. It was a quote. It's in rap music lyrics incessantly (and IMHO it's unnecessary). It's in comedy, it's around. I personally hate it. But the one time it made sense was with Chappelle, AND in this context: a gay for pay escort trying to make himself better than an ordinary ho.

    BTW at the bar I work at we have a jukebox, people place rap music, some lyrics (R Kelly! ) are offensive to me. I turn down/off the outside speakers so passers-by aren't offended. My dad used the N word after he was in Florida for a few years. I told him never to use that word around me. It was in a first person context and derogatory. It was atypical of him. It was the environment. Florida is racist as hell.

    If I quote Chappelle using the N word that isn't racist. Editing out the N word in HIS quote would be censorship.
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    Sep 27, 2015 8:41 PM GMT
    sonofyoda said
    timmm55 saidThis s a silly exercise: an escort who wants to be let off the hook of sexual prejudice.

    But he gets all moralistic about it? As Dave Chappell would say "nigger, PLEASE!"



    I notice how a good number of posters particularly some whites, hispanics, latinos, and non blacks are too comfortable saying racial slurs in the open or feel the need to be blatantly racist on here mainly towards black people and asians. I also have to question the people in charge of this site to why there hasn't been any intervention towards members that seem to be fond of that negative behavior. Is this one of those racist sites like stormfront or chimpout?

    Care to explain why you said that word even if it were to offend people in here.






    Why don't you ask Dave Chappelle that question? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 27, 2015 10:59 PM GMT

    Anonymous Sex + Endless Lube: Welcome to the World of Gay Sex Clubs
    http://www.queerty.com/anonymous-sex-endless-lube-welcome-to-the-world-of-gay-sex-clubs-20090906


    I would assume, "slut shaming" of gay men, is a fairly new phenomena? Thank goodness this was not part of my generation and thank goodness the PC gays have not closed down all of the fun icon_rolleyes.gif











  • tj85016

    Posts: 4123

    Sep 27, 2015 11:05 PM GMT
    sleeping around is an avocation, sleeping around for money is a vocation
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    Sep 27, 2015 11:49 PM GMT
    The old "because a black person says the n word so I can be ignorant too" excuse is tired. Someone ignorance isn't an excuse to be ignorant yourself.

    OK, oh faggot, PLEASE! (we all are queer on here, no?) Do you think Chappelle is ignorant?


    I think your intentions were to be disrespectful and you think you can get away with it since this forum seems to be very accepting of racism towards nonwhites especially blacks.

    You think wrong. Wow, that's a long winded sentence. 3 subjects in one. Get away with what? Quoting Chappelle?


    I really think you and some of these cowards on here have the nerve to act all self righteous when you guys are just if not more hateful towards other people that you think aren't like you or are different.

    As I said originally: This s a silly exercise: an escort who wants to be let off the hook of sexual prejudice.

    But he gets all moralistic about it? As Dave Chappell would say "HO, PLEASE!" <<<< is that better? It's a paraphrase. It misses the point of the paradox.

    So when Chappelle, R Kelly or Iggy Azaelea use the "N" word I can't quote it, say it, understand it? And NO it isn't ME saying it, and I haven't.

    So if anyone, black or white is offended I apologize. It was not my intent to offend. I thought the Chappelle skits was so well known it make the point.
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    Sep 28, 2015 1:32 AM GMT
    Since OP is an escort, I wonder where he draws line between business and pleasure. Does he only charge the ugly ones? Hmm.
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    Sep 28, 2015 4:11 AM GMT
    xrichx saidSince OP is an escort, I wonder where he draws line between business and pleasure. Does he only charge the ugly ones? Hmm.


    If you go through his old post you'll see he has a problem separating the two. He has had Nemours episodes where he expected someone he was dating to give him free room and board as if they weren't aware of the game.
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    Sep 28, 2015 4:40 AM GMT
    timmm55 said
    sonofyoda said
    timmm55 saidThis s a silly exercise: an escort who wants to be let off the hook of sexual prejudice.

    But he gets all moralistic about it? As Dave Chappell would say "nigger, PLEASE!"



    I notice how a good number of posters particularly some whites, hispanics, latinos, and non blacks are too comfortable saying racial slurs in the open or feel the need to be blatantly racist on here mainly towards black people and asians. I also have to question the people in charge of this site to why there hasn't been any intervention towards members that seem to be fond of that negative behavior. Is this one of those racist sites like stormfront or chimpout?

    Care to explain why you said that word even if it were to offend people in here.



    If you didn't get what Chappelle said, he, as a black man, was telling another black man, to get over his bull shit.....face to face to a person of his own race.

    I think Dave Chappelle is utterly brilliant!

    You can search all you like, I've never said it. It was a quote. It's in rap music lyrics incessantly (and IMHO it's unnecessary). It's in comedy, it's around. I personally hate it. But the one time it made sense was with Chappelle, AND in this context: a gay for pay escort trying to make himself better than an ordinary ho.

    BTW at the bar I work at we have a jukebox, people place rap music, some lyrics (R Kelly! ) are offensive to me. I turn down/off the outside speakers so passers-by aren't offended. My dad used the N word after he was in Florida for a few years. I told him never to use that word around me. It was in a first person context and derogatory. It was atypical of him. It was the environment. Florida is racist as hell.

    If I quote Chappelle using the N word that isn't racist. Editing out the N word in HIS quote would be censorship.


    Fuck outta here with this bullshit

    You just wanted an excuse to say nigger..no ones buying it.

    Can't read a random thread without 1 of you low key racist trying it.
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    Sep 28, 2015 4:47 AM GMT
    Romero23 said
    timmm55 said
    sonofyoda said
    timmm55 saidThis s a silly exercise: an escort who wants to be let off the hook of sexual prejudice.

    But he gets all moralistic about it? As Dave Chappell would say "nigger, PLEASE!"



    I notice how a good number of posters particularly some whites, hispanics, latinos, and non blacks are too comfortable saying racial slurs in the open or feel the need to be blatantly racist on here mainly towards black people and asians. I also have to question the people in charge of this site to why there hasn't been any intervention towards members that seem to be fond of that negative behavior. Is this one of those racist sites like stormfront or chimpout?

    Care to explain why you said that word even if it were to offend people in here.



    If you didn't get what Chappelle said, he, as a black man, was telling another black man, to get over his bull shit.....face to face to a person of his own race.

    I think Dave Chappelle is utterly brilliant!

    You can search all you like, I've never said it. It was a quote. It's in rap music lyrics incessantly (and IMHO it's unnecessary). It's in comedy, it's around. I personally hate it. But the one time it made sense was with Chappelle, AND in this context: a gay for pay escort trying to make himself better than an ordinary ho.

    BTW at the bar I work at we have a jukebox, people place rap music, some lyrics (R Kelly! ) are offensive to me. I turn down/off the outside speakers so passers-by aren't offended. My dad used the N word after he was in Florida for a few years. I told him never to use that word around me. It was in a first person context and derogatory. It was atypical of him. It was the environment. Florida is racist as hell.

    If I quote Chappelle using the N word that isn't racist. Editing out the N word in HIS quote would be censorship.


    Fuck outta here with this bullshit

    You just wanted an excuse to say nigger..no ones buying it.

    Can't read a random thread without 1 of you low key racist trying it.


    What's up with your tits dude???
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    Sep 28, 2015 4:50 AM GMT
    Chulo said
    Romero23 said
    timmm55 said
    sonofyoda said
    timmm55 saidThis s a silly exercise: an escort who wants to be let off the hook of sexual prejudice.

    But he gets all moralistic about it? As Dave Chappell would say "nigger, PLEASE!"



    I notice how a good number of posters particularly some whites, hispanics, latinos, and non blacks are too comfortable saying racial slurs in the open or feel the need to be blatantly racist on here mainly towards black people and asians. I also have to question the people in charge of this site to why there hasn't been any intervention towards members that seem to be fond of that negative behavior. Is this one of those racist sites like stormfront or chimpout?

    Care to explain why you said that word even if it were to offend people in here.



    If you didn't get what Chappelle said, he, as a black man, was telling another black man, to get over his bull shit.....face to face to a person of his own race.

    I think Dave Chappelle is utterly brilliant!

    You can search all you like, I've never said it. It was a quote. It's in rap music lyrics incessantly (and IMHO it's unnecessary). It's in comedy, it's around. I personally hate it. But the one time it made sense was with Chappelle, AND in this context: a gay for pay escort trying to make himself better than an ordinary ho.

    BTW at the bar I work at we have a jukebox, people place rap music, some lyrics (R Kelly! ) are offensive to me. I turn down/off the outside speakers so passers-by aren't offended. My dad used the N word after he was in Florida for a few years. I told him never to use that word around me. It was in a first person context and derogatory. It was atypical of him. It was the environment. Florida is racist as hell.

    If I quote Chappelle using the N word that isn't racist. Editing out the N word in HIS quote would be censorship.


    Fuck outta here with this bullshit

    You just wanted an excuse to say nigger..no ones buying it.

    Can't read a random thread without 1 of you low key racist trying it.


    What's up with your tits dude???


    It's called gyno. And I'm proud of it. Thanks.
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    Sep 28, 2015 4:52 AM GMT
    Poor old Santa Clause, only 'cum's' once a year and he has to pay for it...Ho! Ho! Ho! Maybe he pays the Ho's wth a few sex toys.
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    Sep 28, 2015 4:53 AM GMT
    Chulo said
    Calm down. Relax. Eat a cookie. Just stop acting like a stereotype you dumb animal....icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif


    Ok, ho....says the guy with an ANIMAL for his avatar lol.

    Angry would be me coming thru this 7.9" iPad mini, and popping you in your goddam eye. That's what you need to be worried about.
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    Sep 28, 2015 5:00 AM GMT
    timmm55 saidThis s a silly exercise: an escort who wants to be let off the hook of sexual prejudice.

    But he gets all moralistic about it? As Dave Chappell would say "nigger, PLEASE!"


    This is exactly why I don't condone comedians using the N word. Because crackers like you think it's cute to be using it. Shouldn't you be getting your T cell count done? I may be this, that and the 3rd...but I'm very healthy.

    And don't think you get to get off the hook because you're quoting a black man saying the N word. It sounds ignorant. Do it in LA...you're in Palm Springs. A real NIGGER will kill you quicker than liver failure will from all your HIV cocktails lol.
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    Sep 28, 2015 5:13 AM GMT
    MrFuscle said
    xrichx saidSince OP is an escort, I wonder where he draws line between business and pleasure. Does he only charge the ugly ones? Hmm.


    If you go through his old post you'll see he has a problem separating the two. He has had Nemours episodes where he expected someone he was dating to give him free room and board as if they weren't aware of the game.


    Wait a minute, hold up hold up. Don't get me mixed up and give false information on this board. Room and board, free? WHEN????

    Boo boo, I have my own condo that is paid for honey. What are you talking about? Now, I have discussed guys that have MOVED IN WITH ME, temporarily, but never me trying to live off someone else. I been living on my own for years, and someone just recently donated to me a 2nd apartment in another city, I've been living alone since I started posting on this mother fucking real jock.

    as to where I draw the line? People who are my age range (20s, 30s), who not only just want sex, but like to do movies, the mall, conversation, etc. not someone just meet me, and first thing they talk about is sucking or fucking. That's what prostitutes do. I'm not a prostitute. I'm a companion. I go on vacations, get taken to dinner, and I don't have guys in and out of my house round the clock.

    Now....I'm not judging or saying I'm not sometimes or often very sexual myself, but understand the differences.