Interesting that you said this. I was actually thinking that his reason for not wanting a relationship with me was because he's not ready to commit. He did tell me he was monogamous and maybe he just wasn't ready to do that yet.
I wonder if that's because of their lifestyle? He told me he's been going to bathhouses and meeting people online for oral ever since his early college days. He's 37 now. I have another friend that's 35 and still does the same even though he's been in a committed relationship for the past 7 years. His bf doesn't know, or at least doesn't acknowledge it. Do you think that some guys become so used to randomly having casual sex that it becomes a part of their life that they can't do without?
Most men just want to fuck around. Many don't even use excuses anymore. If you ask questions, you get the "mind your own business" thing, or "are you gonna fuck me or not? I didn't message you for a lesson in morality".
Which is why I'm extremely picky with guys. Since if this is what I have to look forward to ... celibacy sounds just fine with me.
It usually ends in one of two scenarios:
They enter a relationship > they start acting funny > give you the "open talk" to spice things up > they open your relationship to other people;
They enter a relationship > they start acting funny > give you the "open talk" to spice things up > you say no way hose > they cheat on you behind your back;
If you are looking for monogamy, that there is a lose-lose situation.
PS: Bathhouses are not exactly the places where you pick marriage material men. If he can't get serious enough for a serious relationship at 37 they probably won't be up for marriage any time soon either. You are better off with somebody else. Or with just you. Whatever seems less stressful.