Goddamn, Why do guys fall in love so fast?

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    Oct 05, 2015 10:21 AM GMT
    I call it "high school girl mentality". Others call it "new toy syndrome".

    But gees, some of these gay guys I run into these days seem to meet someone almost overnight, and call it "true love", start posting each other al over Facebook, etc. Since I've created my Facebook, only 1 guy has been called my boyfriend on Facebook. And that's because he was the one posting stuff. I don't like showing off my relationship to old jealous hoes on the Internet.

    Guys....slow it down! If it hasn't been 3 months, do you think it's Facebook worthy? I'm just getting annoyed with my friends meeting these hardly attractive guys and becoming so love struck. I'm not dissing anyone's relationship, and I don't talk down about anybody's "courtship"...but at 28 years old, I feel I'm getting too old to be hearing and seeing guys fall head over heels for a guy who just popped up out the blue.Then...I'm the one who has to hear the sob story, about the latest fight that lead to 911 showing up, or how they seen them walk in the bar with someone else after faking a family death icon_rolleyes.gif

    I get it, I can really like someone too...but I guess over the years I've calloused up a bit. I've learned to accept a courtship can end at any moment up until 90 days. All the silly infatuation over a guy just met, is taxing on the heart and soul. That said, I do like my sad love songs...I think they help express the fantasy of feelings I feel, without actually making that into a reality.
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    Oct 05, 2015 11:36 AM GMT
    People worry if they're ever gonna find someone to be with. They may have dealt with a lot of rejection(very common online) So once they find someone they click with, they may get a little crazy lol. I call it the infatuation phase. Plus, keep in mind that gay men are not as likely to begin dating until their adult years, compared to straight couples who can begin as early as middle school.
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    Oct 05, 2015 12:45 PM GMT
    Not sure where you find these people who "fall in love too fast" but I'd suggest you find a different circle to circulate within. Sounds more like you have a lot of dopey and immature "friends".
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    Oct 05, 2015 2:01 PM GMT
    ^^^^^
    Not a newly discovered thing for men to do, gay or straight, nor I think very uncommon. This 1944 song by Jule Styne and Sammy Cahn was introduced by Frank Sinatra in the movie Anchors Aweigh. Although subsequently performed by some great female singers, it was conceived as a man's song, and Sinatra made it part of his standard repertoire.

    I fall in love too easily
    I fall in love too fast
    I fall in love too terribly hard
    For love to ever last

    My heart should be well-schooled
    'Cause I've been fooled in the past
    And still I fall in love too easily
    I fall in love too fast


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    Oct 05, 2015 2:36 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs27 said... I've calloused up a bit. I've learned to accept a courtship can end at any moment up until 90 days. All the silly infatuation over a guy just met, is taxing on the heart and soul...
    So the OP is still single? Curious what happens after 90days? Has any real jock got past the >91days w/o a 911 call?
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    Oct 05, 2015 2:46 PM GMT
    When you're lonely or have been single for a while and you meet someone special. The Guy sweeps you off your feet and seems like a dream come true. Then you find you have suddenly fallen in love. Then you find the Guy has hang-up's, extra baggage, more Skeletons in the closet. Then you wish you had run into a brick wall instead. Jennifer Paige sung it well, 'It's just a little crush, sometime's it hurts every time we touch'.......!
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Oct 05, 2015 2:59 PM GMT
    Everyone out there is still a bit under this 'positive thinking' spell. The media keep on telling you that you MUST be very optimistic to succeed.

    So, a few dudes fall prey to this kindergarten philosophy, put on their pink sunglasses, and wow, all is perfect in their lives again.

    Some people call it outright stupid. I'd like to call it naive...

    SC
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    Oct 05, 2015 3:51 PM GMT
    SilverRRCloud saidEveryone out there is still a bit under this 'positive thinking' spell. The media keep on telling you that you MUST be very optimistic to succeed.

    So, a few dudes fall prey to this kindergarten philosophy, put on their pink sunglasses, and wow, all is perfect in their lives again.

    Some people call it outright stupid. I'd like to call it naive...

    SC

    Is it "positive thinking" or is it just being hopeful and persistent? Because when you abandon hope, well, then you've already lost, haven't you?
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Oct 05, 2015 4:51 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    SilverRRCloud saidEveryone out there is still a bit under this 'positive thinking' spell. The media keep on telling you that you MUST be very optimistic to succeed.

    So, a few dudes fall prey to this kindergarten philosophy, put on their pink sunglasses, and wow, all is perfect in their lives again.

    Some people call it outright stupid. I'd like to call it naive...

    SC

    Is it "positive thinking" or is it just being hopeful and persistent? Because when you abandon hope, well, then you've already lost, haven't you?


    Being hopeful and persistent while being REALISTIC, too, is what is really needed to succeed.

    Being realistic is the difficult bit. icon_lol.gif

    SC
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    Oct 05, 2015 9:34 PM GMT
    pellaz said
    FuzzyPecs27 said... I've calloused up a bit. I've learned to accept a courtship can end at any moment up until 90 days. All the silly infatuation over a guy just met, is taxing on the heart and soul...
    So the OP is still single? Curious what happens after 90days? Has any real jock got past the >91days w/o a 911 call?


    13 years this coming weekend.

    icon_eek.gif
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    Oct 05, 2015 10:42 PM GMT
    FuzzyPecs27 saidI call it "high school girl mentality". Others call it "new toy syndrome".

    But gees, some of these gay guys I run into these days seem to meet someone almost overnight, and call it "true love", start posting each other al over Facebook, etc. Since I've created my Facebook, only 1 guy has been called my boyfriend on Facebook. And that's because he was the one posting stuff. I don't like showing off my relationship to old jealous hoes on the Internet.

    Guys....slow it down! If it hasn't been 3 months, do you think it's Facebook worthy? I'm just getting annoyed with my friends meeting these hardly attractive guys and becoming so love struck. I'm not dissing anyone's relationship, and I don't talk down about anybody's "courtship"...but at 28 years old, I feel I'm getting too old to be hearing and seeing guys fall head over heels for a guy who just popped up out the blue.Then...I'm the one who has to hear the sob story, about the latest fight that lead to 911 showing up, or how they seen them walk in the bar with someone else after faking a family death icon_rolleyes.gif

    I get it, I can really like someone too...but I guess over the years I've calloused up a bit. I've learned to accept a courtship can end at any moment up until 90 days. All the silly infatuation over a guy just met, is taxing on the heart and soul. That said, I do like my sad love songs...I think they help express the fantasy of feelings I feel, without actually making that into a reality.



    "but at 28 years old, I feel I'm getting too old "

    Hilarious
  • Rower1950

    Posts: 72

    Oct 05, 2015 11:05 PM GMT
    Whore moans!
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    Oct 05, 2015 11:09 PM GMT
    Rower1950 saidWhore moans!


    Ohhhhh .... slut-up.

    icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 06, 2015 4:07 AM GMT
    I find the word "calloused" to be the most pertinent within the initial post.

    Is it better to have a calloused heart? I have fought against that for as long as I can remember. It mitigates pain, but also joy, hopes, expectations... and, therefore, possibilities.

    A calloused heart is comparable to being circumcised. For those who are, do you wonder what you've missed? For those intact, would you choose to lop it off?
  • Nakedman1969

    Posts: 247

    Oct 06, 2015 5:16 AM GMT
    I have nit falling in love with anyone yet snd I'm 45 years old because no one wants me!!!!
  • you_know_Its_...

    Posts: 260

    Oct 06, 2015 6:06 AM GMT
    Dave_Georgia saidI find the word "calloused" to be the most pertinent within the initial post.

    Is it better to have a calloused heart? I have fought against that for as long as I can remember. It mitigates pain, but also joy, hopes, expectations... and, therefore, possibilities.

    A calloused heart is comparable to being circumcised. For those who are, do you wonder what you've missed? For those intact, would you choose to lop it off?


    Interesting, this part resonated with me too. I've never been head over heels over anyone, and at this age, it probably won't ever happen. My expectations are few, but so are my disappointments.
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    Oct 06, 2015 7:06 AM GMT
    tmac saidPeople worry if they're ever gonna find someone to be with, keep in mind that gay men are not as likely to begin dating until their adult years, compared to straight couples who can begin as early as middle school.


    Ok, middle school girl mentality...even better lol.
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    Oct 06, 2015 7:18 AM GMT
    Dave_Georgia saidIs it better to have a calloused heart? I have fought against that for as long as I can remember. It mitigates pain, but also joy, hopes, expectations... and, therefore, possibilities. A calloused heart is comparable to being circumcised. For those who are, do you wonder what you've missed? For those intact, would you choose to lop it off?


    Ok, let me clarify (and no, I'm not circumcised).

    It's not so much that I'm "calloused", it's just that I don't go around telling everybody everything. Too many of the guy friends I have talk TOO DAMN MUCH about the person they are dating. And it's fucking annoying. the more we talk about it, the more expectations people have for it to work out (or end), and you end up trying to live up to that.

    And I HATE when guys I date bring their nosy, no-man having sister/cousin/friend around. I HATE IT. in every case, shortly after the relationship stopped working, when everything else was fine before. Bitches are like witches, don't let them around your man guys! The mother usually is happy for the guy, but not the others.

    One of my other friends asked, "you never tell me about guys you meet when you travel." I was like, you fucking right I don't. That's my personal business. I consider guys my personal business until I'm sure they won't do something stupid, and leave me out in these streets and this fucking internet looking crazy.

    I just think some guys give these boyfriends too much ammunition to hurt and embarrass them. The more people you tell about a new relationship, the more hurt and shame you'll feel when that shit goes POOF! And I hate to say it, but unless you're married or damn close to it, that's just going to be the system of most any guy you meet. One book says, men are the adversary in the beginning, so you have to protect yourself accordingly.

    I had one of my biggest relationship hurts before when I was 18, and then again at 19. One minute we were all on MySpace with cute little hearts and glitter around our pictures, next minute he decided to never talk to me again.
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    Oct 06, 2015 9:46 AM GMT
    FuzzyPecs27 saidI call it "high school girl mentality". Others call it "new toy syndrome".


    For some people,

    When one leaves a church, one must try to get in another church without delay. Get your safe haven, your sanctuary, your community of caring souls.

    When one leaves the loving family and relatives of our parents, one must try to get in another family and relatives institution of their own. Get your safe base, your clan, your community of people who are concerned about you for life.

    It's not God damn people who seek safe haven, sanctuary, community of caring souls, people to continue being concerned about you for life, it is God bless those people.

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    Oct 06, 2015 10:38 AM GMT
    My favorite posts on fb are usually from the desperate "hoes" (that I think, but don't speak to out loud about it) that post they are madly in love and change their fb relationship status to "in a relationship" and within the next few days it goes back to being single status. Also their bland selfies where they think they look cute, however, just shows how terrible their life style habits have aged them. They think they look cute, but it obvious that life has hit them hard with an iron bat to the face and no filter can fix aging.

    The embarrassment and humiliation is just too satisfying to deny. I don't know why but I just relish on the self satisfaction that karma is real. icon_lol.gif
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    Oct 06, 2015 10:57 AM GMT
    The bigger question is: Why do fools fall in love?
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    Oct 06, 2015 12:39 PM GMT
    SilverRRCloud said
    Art_Deco said
    SilverRRCloud saidEveryone out there is still a bit under this 'positive thinking' spell. The media keep on telling you that you MUST be very optimistic to succeed.

    So, a few dudes fall prey to this kindergarten philosophy, put on their pink sunglasses, and wow, all is perfect in their lives again.

    Some people call it outright stupid. I'd like to call it naive...

    SC

    Is it "positive thinking" or is it just being hopeful and persistent? Because when you abandon hope, well, then you've already lost, haven't you?

    Being hopeful and persistent while being REALISTIC, too, is what is really needed to succeed.

    Being realistic is the difficult bit. icon_lol.gif

    SC

    I totally agree about being realistic. That's my middle name. The trick is to not let other considerations color your notion of "realistic" until realistic becomes an excuse for them. Being stone-cold objective about personal matters is one of the most difficult things in the world.
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    Oct 06, 2015 2:12 PM GMT
    OP, why do you let what others do bother you so much? If you don't want to hear the sob stories, then stop them when you hear one coming on. You can only control what you do and say.
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    Oct 06, 2015 2:13 PM GMT
    This post is very on point and so true..I admitly used to do it myself, but the pattern became very clear. Everything is perfect in the honey moon phase

    A lot of guys just like that initial rush they get from someone new
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    Oct 06, 2015 7:53 PM GMT
    Several reasons why guys fall so quickly in love? I think that it's because most gay guys are afraid of being lonely, single or whatever, so they have a rush feeling of that *honeymoon love* when they meet someone new. We all do it, we all size up our ideal man to see if he fits certain criteria or not. Then the initial phase dies out, reality sets in and people just get real. Lol kinda like the Real World series. I think it's a good thing that you have that feeling, at least you feel something right? unless you're a robot and have no feeling and don't want to fall in love.