Boy makes antigay remark; mom forces him to wander Wal-Mart in a tutu

  • metta

    Posts: 39104

    Oct 08, 2015 5:40 PM GMT
    Boy makes antigay remark; mom forces him to wander Wal-Mart in a tutu


    http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2015/10/boy-makes-antigay-remark-mom-forces-him-to-wander-wal-mart-in-a-tutu/


    Did she go too far?
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    Oct 08, 2015 5:50 PM GMT
    Reading the entire article...

    ...I...kind of think so?

    I mean, maybe it's just the writing of the article, but I'm curious what 'Parading' means, for one. Did she simply do normal shopping with her son beside her? Or did she literally just escort him around the store? Or was he sort of on his own, and she was just back, keeping an eye on him?

    But to read the rest of what was actually done to him:
    Allegedly, police arrived at the store to find a 10-year-old boy tottering through the aisles in women’s boots, a tutu, a women’s undergarment, and a T-shirt “with various permanent marker writing underneath.”

    The police report claims the boy’s head was shaved “in an unusual manner, bald on top with a patch of wig on the front of his head.” To top things off, the word “BAD” was written in black marker on the back of the boy’s head.


    If that's the case, I personally feel she went too far. I mean, I've had step brothers a lot younger than me, who have done stupid, wrong things, and though they were punished, they weren't, what I'd call..."unnecessarily humiliated." To write on a child, a living person, with markers, shave their head in strange ways--it's, kind of bordering on vandalism, as weird as it is for me to type that. I mean, it's her son, she has a legal obligation to him, to try and raise him in a way that he is socially mature, but still.

    ...I dunno. I want to say "too far", but also say "it's her kid." I want to say "there were other ways," as well as "maybe this confuses him further." I mean, if you're trying to teach your son what it's like to be gay (or humiliated)...I can't remember the last time I saw a guy wearing a tutu with a weird shaven head, marker scribbles on his skin, wearing women's undergarments.

    Well, not since that post Gay Pride Parade Fettish Night...that I never attended.
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    Oct 08, 2015 10:08 PM GMT
    What an idiot. The child should be removed from her home and her ovaries ripped out. Humiliating a child for any reason is reprehensible.
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    Oct 08, 2015 10:22 PM GMT
    He wouldn't be the first homophobe to be dressed up in humiliating clothing.

    Burke-Galero.jpeg
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 802

    Oct 08, 2015 11:33 PM GMT
    metta saidBoy makes antigay remark; mom forces him to wander Wal-Mart in a tutu

    Did she go too far?


    JUST from your description---YES. This is a form of abuse.
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 802

    Oct 08, 2015 11:40 PM GMT
    Kodiak saidReading the entire article...

    ...I...kind of think so?I dunno. I want to say "too far", but also say "it's her kid."


    A son or daughter is NOT a possession, they are a separate being. A parent does not socially have the right to do whatever they wish to a child.
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    Oct 09, 2015 12:01 AM GMT
    metta saidBoy makes antigay remark; mom forces him to wander Wal-Mart in a tutu

    http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2015/10/boy-makes-antigay-remark-mom-forces-him-to-wander-wal-mart-in-a-tutu/

    Did she go too far?

    Yes. That's traumatizing a child. There are better ways to send a good message. A good message sent badly becomes a bad message, that will backfire with reverse effects contrary to those intended.
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Oct 09, 2015 1:45 AM GMT
    I like that she was trying to send a message, but what she did was extreme.
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    Oct 09, 2015 2:03 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidWhat an idiot. The child should be removed from her home and her ovaries ripped out. Humiliating a child for any reason is reprehensible.


    You're the one who probably got her pregnant to begin with! Takes a man to make raise a baby, but doesn't take a man to make one. Lol

    I'm kidding. But come on white people. That's like a walk in the park. An ethnic mom would have made him dress in a tutu, and then beat his ass in front of the whole store. You gotta train kids somehow. I say good on her. Y'all can't be inconsistent.

    You can't screa, gay rights and be nice, but then say discipline to what could one day become a homophobe. That kid could have one day killed a bunch of gay people in a mass shooting one day. Thanks to his mom, it's highly unlikely.
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    Oct 09, 2015 2:05 AM GMT
    And BTW, what has wearing a tutu got to do with being gay? Is that not another stereotype?
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    Oct 09, 2015 3:56 AM GMT
    Kid was only 10 so he learned these stereotypes somewhere. Wonder if that might just be at home?

    She also admits that beating him didn't work.
  • rdberg1957

    Posts: 662

    Oct 09, 2015 4:47 AM GMT
    Corporal punishment was ineffective? The appropriate response would be education. But given this mother's ways, the kid has likely experienced lots of abuse prior to any "bad" acts. Public humiliation has no role in raising children. To the posters in the original article, "Mind your own business" is a ludicrous thing to say when she didn't just punish the child, she also was disturbing the peace by her actions.
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    Oct 09, 2015 6:18 AM GMT
    I was going to applaud the mom, till I read the article. She definately went too far, she humiliated the poor child. She should be charged with endangerment or something. A simple education in the right direction, by telling him, 'Gay people are also people, etc.' Would've surficed.
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    Oct 09, 2015 6:18 AM GMT
    I was going to applaud the mom, till I read the article. She definately went too far, she humiliated the poor child. She should be charged with endangerment or something. A simple education in the right direction, by telling him, 'Gay people are also people, etc.' Would've surficed.
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    Oct 09, 2015 1:00 PM GMT
    ^ You caught that too, eh?
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    Oct 09, 2015 3:22 PM GMT
    yes some parents swear, cuss, screech at their children and some got beaten with straps, belts.
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    Oct 09, 2015 3:42 PM GMT
    FitBlackCuddler said
    Kodiak saidReading the entire article...

    ...I...kind of think so?I dunno. I want to say "too far", but also say "it's her kid."


    A son or daughter is NOT a possession, they are a separate being. A parent does not socially have the right to do whatever they wish to a child.


    "A parent does not socially have the right," is exactly the reason why I was indecisive in my post there.

    Legally, the parent does have the right--it's their child. I think that might be why the term "socially" is used here--but social rights would depend on the society, and what if that society decides it is alright to teach a child by using these humiliating measures?

    For myself, I feel like the point of the exercise didn't have to be exclusively humiliation--it's the "walk a mile in their shoes" approach to teaching a child.

    And yet, this approach is coming after a corporal punishment??? That's another point I take issue with, and the issue is mainly confusion. What came before the corporal punishment, if it wasn't empathy (walk in their shoes), or humiliation [walk in utterly bizarre attire)?

    I'm not exactly at the peak of my game at the moment, kind of hungry, got things to do, but I just wanted to clarify my point a bit more. I think the parent does have the right, in the same way parents have the right to dress their kid with religious messages and shove them onto the street corner. Do I disagree with it however? Absolutely.

    Is it "socially unacceptable" however? That remains unclear. The majority of folks here on RJ may think it is--and a few people in the Walmart evidently thought it was (or they wouldn't have called the police), but the parent obviously didn't, and there may be more like her.
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    Oct 09, 2015 3:54 PM GMT
    Oh geez. That'll really endear us to him.
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 802

    Oct 09, 2015 4:40 PM GMT
    Kodiak said
    FitBlackCuddler said
    Kodiak saidReading the entire article...

    ...I...kind of think so?I dunno. I want to say "too far", but also say "it's her kid."


    A son or daughter is NOT a possession, they are a separate being. A parent does not socially have the right to do whatever they wish to a child.


    "A parent does not socially have the right," is exactly the reason why I was indecisive in my post there.

    Legally, the parent does have the right--it's their child.


    Until recently, a child had NO RIGHTS, no access to ANY relief from their parents. My older brother and I used to go to school with swollen eyes and striped backs/legs from regular beatings. Teachers would stare openly but could do NOTHING because we were considered our parents' chattel.

    Then the Child Protective Services folk arose and gave kids access to an 800# to call if they experienced abuse from parents.

    HARDLY the best system available, but it was at least a step in the right direction in recognizing children as separate human entities. There needs to be social checks and balances in place or parents are free to become complete bullies.
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    Oct 09, 2015 7:55 PM GMT
    FitBlackCuddler said
    Kodiak said
    FitBlackCuddler said
    Kodiak saidStuff.


    A son or daughter is NOT a possession, they are a separate being. A parent does not socially have the right to do whatever they wish to a child.


    More stuff.


    Until recently, a child had NO RIGHTS, no access to ANY relief from their parents. My older brother and I used to go to school with swollen eyes and striped backs/legs from regular beatings. Teachers would stare openly but could do NOTHING because we were considered our parents' chattel.

    Then the Child Protective Services folk arose and gave kids access to an 800# to call if they experienced abuse from parents.

    HARDLY the best system available, but it was at least a step in the right direction in recognizing children as separate human entities. There needs to be social checks and balances in place or parents are free to become complete bullies.


    True, but here, in this situation, the child was the bully, and the parent took action to make the child understand what it's like being bullied.

    The topic of "excessive disciplining" I understand--I still hold that I think this parent went too far, but I don't know her, and I don't know the kid. But as for children having rights, of course they do--but as they grow up, they have responsibilities, and greater consequences for their actions. The parent has a responsibility to their child--not just to take care of them, but to make sure they're raised to be a positive (or at least, neutral) member of society. It seems like after corporal punishment didn't change the underlying attitude problems, the parent took the next step, raising the consequences.

    Personally, I'd look at the underlying reason for the child's behavior and try to treat that instead, that's where I disagree with this parent--but I don't know. Maybe she's already done that, and it still didn't yield differences.
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 802

    Oct 09, 2015 8:54 PM GMT
    Kodiak said
    True, but here, in this situation, the child was the bully, and the parent took action to make the child understand what it's like being bullied.


    Two wrongs will make a right, Kodiak? And HOW do you suppose the child learned to bully?

    Wearing a tutu?? Is this how the parent sees men who are into other men--as a feminine stereotype?

    I hear you in working to make sense of all of this in the form of a "positive argument" yet all I see of this parent is a ruthless bully who gives the offspring NO VOICE at home. Think of all of that anger the kid may have to keep bottled up inside when at home. It has got to come out somehow...somewhere.

    There was NOTHING positive and progressive in the parent's treatment of the child.

    What would all of you say if this child had revealed his attraction to other males and his mother's response was to bully him as mercilessly?
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    Oct 09, 2015 9:19 PM GMT
    It seems a bit tutu much.
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    Oct 09, 2015 9:32 PM GMT
    She took him to Wal-Mart. Why am I not surprised.


    Peopleofwalmart.com

    Lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2015 10:43 PM GMT
    What the fuck does a tutu have to do with homosexuality?
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    Oct 10, 2015 12:01 AM GMT
    Who cares about the tutu. Now everyone is going to associate Walmart with being gay.