Friend Conflicted After Googling a Potential Date

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2015 3:56 AM GMT
    I have a friend who asked if she should cancel her first date with someone she matched with on Tinder after Googling him and finding a lot of pictures on his FB of him partying with other girls in a lot of his photos... she asked me if she should cancel to avoid a potential bad date from going down. I told her she should do whatever her instinct is telling her but it might she might be jumping to conclusions about him based on a few pics, I'm not really sure what she came across but it's enough to make her feel conflicted even before meeting him.

    Though, I'm wondering do you guys Google dates beforehand. Does that ruin the surprise of finding things out about them? Maybe it helps you dodge a bullet with someone who you'll waste time and money on.

    I don't personally but am wondering if it's a good idea to start doing.... Isn't it considered rude though to do?

    What do you guys think?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2015 4:03 AM GMT
    I think it depends on what one is after.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2015 4:08 AM GMT
    If I could I would. A picture tells a thousand words about a person.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2015 4:09 AM GMT
    I always Google potential dates. I've been able to dodge some bullets that way, although I think your friend is jumping to conclusions and sounds like she might be the jealous type. I've found groups and organizations guys were members of that made me immediately cancel the date and was very thankful I was able to find these things out in advance before wasting my time with a douchebag.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Oct 10, 2015 4:12 AM GMT
    Nope. I would not do it for the first date.

    I am neither employing the guy nor am I entering some sort of a business deal that requires background checks. We are really talking Tindr, Grindr & Co. here?

    So, the dude is a bit of a party animal, and not really a hermit? I doubt that too many folks out there are into dating hermits?

    It is naive to believe that a young guy these days is sitting home and having no fun until he bumps into a girl of his dreams on one of the apps. At least, the dude is honest. He goes around partying, and frankly, why should he be hiding it?

    If you are looking for a home buddy, inexperienced, shy, etc., the apps are probably not your best choice. Go for the Bible classes...

    SC
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2015 4:49 AM GMT
    I have done it before, especially when I got a bit of a sketchy vibe. Amazing what you can learn by googling someone's phone number. Good thing I use Burner for hook-ups first dates icon_surprised.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2015 8:10 AM GMT
    I always Google before a first date. Just like I always read travel guidebooks before visiting a new destination.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Oct 10, 2015 9:57 AM GMT
    I agree it depends on what you are looking for. For me, if I saw a bunch of pics of a guy with a bunch of different girls, I would be turned off for a different reason of course.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1765

    Oct 10, 2015 11:32 AM GMT
    MY GOD HE WAS PARTYING?

    WITH... POTENTIAL ALCOHOL INVOLVED??? AND PERHAPS HAVING SEX OUTSIDE THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE?

    Think-of-the-Children.jpg
  • Amira

    Posts: 327

    Oct 10, 2015 12:20 PM GMT
    I've done it once when I had a gut instinct. Turns out I was on to something.. However, I feel that if you have to Google someone based off a bad vibe, it's better to not go out with them if you're not feeling comfortable.
  • ardeerd

    Posts: 35

    Oct 10, 2015 1:04 PM GMT
    Sounds like a pretty silly reason to cancel and honestly seems pretty judgmental.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2015 1:05 PM GMT
    Mesmer saidIf I could I would. A picture tells a thousand words about a person.

    You are chronically insane, yes? A picture captures a moment, does not tell any story other than what was happening in that particular second. Reading into any single image is as dangerous as judging a book by a single word.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2015 1:45 PM GMT
    I recently helped a buddy with his Tinder profile; he too had mostly picks of himself at bars. In reality the pics. were taken over a couple years, not every weekend--he hardly drinks.

    Could be worse. Could be a lot of gym selfies.
  • Muscles25

    Posts: 394

    Oct 10, 2015 2:12 PM GMT
    It seems to be that the internet -- and google among others -- has taken all the fun out of a lot of things, especially dating.

    I asked my grandfather if he ran a background check on grandmother before dating her ... he laughed. That's the same thing as googling your date.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2015 5:29 PM GMT
    Muscles25 saidIt seems to be that the internet -- and google among others -- has taken all the fun out of a lot of things, especially dating.



    True, but it's also taken a lot of the danger and wasted time out of dating. I have saved myself lots of agonizing dates by finding out in advance that they're the member of hate groups or have beliefs that I find repulsive. The most recent guy I checked into I decided to look at his Facebook page. EVERY single post he has made for the past two years has been nothing but whining about how horrible his life is. And on his birthday he posted this: "I'm sick of no one remembering my birthday. Anyone who can't even wish me happy birthday gets unfriended." So I'm very thankful I was able to avoid this passive-aggressive guy and many others like him.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Oct 10, 2015 10:42 PM GMT
    And what did she expect to see? Sunday School classes? Attendance at city council meetings? A discussion group in his Great Aunt's parlor?

    Maybe the guy likes to have a good time and is asking her to join him. Heaven forfend!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 11, 2015 3:49 PM GMT
    smartmoney said
    Mesmer saidIf I could I would. A picture tells a thousand words about a person.

    You are chronically insane, yes? A picture captures a moment, does not tell any story other than what was happening in that particular second. Reading into any single image is as dangerous as judging a book by a single word.


    No, it does. Thank you for playing. You can have a free consolation bag of you are wrong. Have a great day.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 11, 2015 5:05 PM GMT
    This is becoming a social illness--people are relying too much on the interweb, thinking that everything that they see on the web is factually correct. People should look at the interweb with a healthy dose of reservation and skepticism. There's nothing wrong with "googling" or net research, but what we get from it should be processed carefully.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Oct 11, 2015 5:58 PM GMT
    The first time a prospective date googled me, I was a bit startled. But nothing he found was embarrassing and his interest in me was flattering. Both my partner and I checked each other out before we met. Again, we both found new things about each other that opened a lot of conversation. And confidence that we could be open and trusting. I see it as making it easier to get to know the other. Of course, what comes up in a facebook profile is totally under your control and does say something about you. What google brings up is largely out of your control but is probably accurate. Double edge sword there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 11, 2015 6:44 PM GMT
    Google and Yahoo! yourself to see what is out there.



  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Oct 11, 2015 6:59 PM GMT
    I am glad I Googled myself. Some site called Sales Spider had my personal info. Obviously where the IRS scammers are getting my info.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 11, 2015 8:03 PM GMT
    timmm55 saidGoogle and Yahoo! yourself to see what is out there.

    I'm in a band?! And I can't even hum a decent tune. That's what comes from having a common name.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 11, 2015 10:29 PM GMT
    dont date someone outside your comfort level if you have to accept that you would never trust the man. Maybe just a wast of time. Not everyone is husband material.