Is it wrong to suddenly stop having sex for a year and a half?

  • stanleyboy

    Posts: 7

    Oct 11, 2015 9:06 PM GMT
    Since the age of 17 till about 21 I was very active, I was craving for sex.
    Suddenly one day with a guy, I realised that it's too robotic for me, I don't know... and he became the last guy I had sex with, and it's been a year and a half.

    I go to grindr and nothing... I get plenty of messages and I haven't met even 1 guy till now.
    I'm like scared or something...
    I feel like it's gonna be my first time, and I don't even want it lol

    I see sometimes pretty women and I have like a fantasy, but I don't see doing it..

    I'm scared something is wrong with me...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 12, 2015 5:50 PM GMT
    Nothing's wrong with you, just hang in there. Also don't just 'Hook-up' for the sake of having sex. You will meet the right guy, when the time is right.
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    Oct 13, 2015 6:08 PM GMT
    Fine_Young_Cannibal saidNothing's wrong with you, just hang in there. Also don't just 'Hook-up' for the sake of having sex. You will meet the right guy, when the time is right.

    This, plus if sex becomes predictable and robotic, change things up.
    I can't tell you how many Asian bottoms thought their particular hole was some sort of magic device and the rest of the entire selection of sexual possibilities would get tossed to the side. When you do find some acceptable, change things up all the time.
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    Oct 17, 2015 8:10 PM GMT
    I can relate to you. I have been active sexually from a very tender age. I was too very crazy about sex. I would imagine having sex with men. Every man that passes though would make sensation in me.

    I had such a desire for sex but now I don't have it anymore. Last year I had sex in august probably after nearly a year. And after year and a month I had sex two weeks ago.

    I know I am being irregular. I was so crafty and desperate for sex when I was teenager but now I don't know what happened to me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 19, 2015 1:35 AM GMT
    Check your testosterone levels.

    Sexual drives change.
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Oct 31, 2015 5:24 PM GMT

    How nice to feel like its the first time again.

    You're perfectly normal. Gay life offers the ability to have as much sex as you can handle - which is what you do, have as much sex as you can handle.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Oct 31, 2015 7:10 PM GMT
    Your feelings are normal. Also, never feel you need to have sex out of your obligation of being gay. Sex should be like breathing unencumbered and automatic.
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    Nov 01, 2015 1:32 PM GMT
    Same thing happened to me. I realized that I had no interest in the guys that I had sex with. I was only interested in getting off. Then I wondered, why bother with these guysto begin with? and that KILLED my sex drive lol.
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    Nov 02, 2015 7:01 AM GMT
    When you only use people for sexual pleasure you might as well just masturbate. For me even hookups are a means to connect with another human being on a deeper level. Giving and receiving sexual pleasure with another human being is beautiful - the most beautiful thing there is in my mind. You've desensitized yourself to the beauty of sex.
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    Feb 24, 2016 6:15 PM GMT
    In answer to your question, no it is not wrong to not want sex with another. While I am now in a similar place in my life, not needing sexual gratification with another. I finally realized that what I was looking for was a validation of self, and I allowed myself to believe I needed sex with another. Two words come to mind, authenticity, and genuine; be yourself.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Feb 24, 2016 7:16 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidWhen you only use people for sexual pleasure you might as well just masturbate. For me even hookups are a means to connect with another human being on a deeper level. Giving and receiving sexual pleasure with another human being is beautiful - the most beautiful thing there is in my mind. You've desensitized yourself to the beauty of sex.

    Ya, this. One thing I've learned from these forums is how many guys treat and think of their sex partners as nothing more than a dick or a hole. I've had a fair number of sex partners over the years and I can't remember even one that was so depersonalized. Sometimes you get what you give. Treat a guy right and you may find sex to be amazing again. In a different way. But I've gone periods of time with no sex. I don't really believe in the use it or lose it theory but I do think the urgent need for it fades over time if not stimulated. And some may be the settling down of hormones. Try asking a guy out on a date and I bet you start feeling it.
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    Feb 27, 2016 5:52 AM GMT
    Sex drives change and that's normal. I doubt hormones are to blame. Low test kills your libido but high test doesn't necessarily make it higher. Only a hypersexualized culture would see a problem with not thinking about sex every 20s.

    This might be just an existential crisis: you might be struggling to fill the void left by something that was once far more important to you.

    You are no longer a teen, welcome to adult life. A wide gamut of new pleasures await you.
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    Feb 28, 2016 3:51 AM GMT
    You're leaving out a lot of information. Did something traumatic happen with your last sexual partner? Are you having any other physical symptoms such as fatigue or weakness? Do you still masturbate?