SirAndy saidThere it is. The flaw in your argument. Basically monogamy equates to being moral while nonmonogamous relationships are immoral. I think YOU have to get off your moral pedestal because clearly other views ' of nonconventional relationships won't persuade you to consider or acknowledge the possibility of happy relationships from all spectrum.
We just have to agree to disagree.
As a note, I prefer monogamy.
No I think I'll stay on my moral pedestal because it hasn't derailed me in my life for one moment. I feel really bad for those who have little to no self respect for themselves as I see them desperately scrape whatever love that comes their way. And I feel really bad that men are slaves to their own bodies, that it even hinders them from developing a meaningful bond with another entity other then themselves. I hear more stories of failed open relationship then I do with successful ones.
For some people like you (apparently) you see me as arrogant, however, my point of view is that others are just promiscuous. And I don't really understand the whole point of a relationship if it wasn't to be monogamous with one person. I mean at least add Polly in that term because that's technically what it is. What I don't condone about open relationships is that they have to bring others into their mess. I slept with a guy but never told me that he had a boyfriend. I asked why he never told me, his reasoning was because his boyfriend is okay with it. And I was?! Just because you are in an open relationship doesn't mean the people he sleeps with don't have feeling on that issue of their own. I've never felt more disgusted with myself. And for a moment I finally knew what if felt like to be the "other guy" and trust me it sucked. Men in open relationships from my personal experience don't care about the people they decide to drag down with them. So it's not like I'm talking out of my ass on this topic for nothing.
yes I we shall agree to disagree. I'll be happily monogamous with my boyfriend, and you go do your thing. Have a happy life.
I empathise mate but same can be said: "I hear more failed stories of failed closed relationships than I do with successful ones.
Honestly, it would be nice to turn this into a healthy constructive discussion as I believe it concerns many people. I do think your representation of open relationships is skewed by your experience and upbringing (which is totally acceptable as we base our decisions and outlook from it). Now I would like to mention that there is so much more to relationships than physical. People with open relationships can and will dissect the emotional from the physical which allows them to have a healthy relationship with their partners. Now our definition of integrity or healthy WILL differ and that is fine - we didn't live in this world just to have the same opinions.
The point of relationships is first and foremost emotional (having that companionship and security). That is the whole point of a relationship. The biological and physical aspect comes later (which is also important). Now when that person slept with you (I'm assuming it is just to hook up), you two came into a physical investments to the experience. If the other party has any way misled you that it is more than physical, then the blame is on the person, not to the circumstance that is on open relationship; if on the same note, he gave you a confirmation that it is just physical, but for some reason you wanted more than just a hookup, then the responsibility is on you to accept that you made a mistake creating a higher expectation than the reality. As adults, we have be upfront and clearly communicate our intentions, otherwise it will be muddled through and people end up being hurt.
To say that men in open relationship don't care about people they 'drag down' with is only plausible when the said person never was honest with their hook ups that it was only physical.