How to recover from the world's WORST breakup: Tips needed

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 16, 2015 9:45 PM GMT
    I just moved out of my home country to London for my studies. I started talking to this guy who was an undergraduate and also belonged to my country. It started off as a friendship....but the intimacy deepened. Long distance WhatsApp calls were frequent.He ended up proposing to me, and I said yes! Coz the feeling was mutual! Atleast I thought so!icon_confused.gif

    When he finally returned home, I had gone to Paris for a summer course. When I returned, he had fallen ill. icon_neutral.gif

    Through no one's fault, we could not meet. But I was optimistic as I knew that once we came to London, we would be together.

    Well, I started uni and he was supposed to come soon. But his parents were pressuring him to study at Caltech ( he's very smart! icon_redface.gif) He would talk and would occasionally tell stuffs like...Hey! I'm going to Caltech. Sorry! But it was always trivial. Nothing serious.

    One fine morning not recently, he stopped talking, taking my calls...responding to my messages etc. I see him online and yet, he doesn't reply!

    What am I to do? Does this mean it's over? Because this was kind of my first serious relationship. At least I thought so! How do I deal with this emotionally? Additionally I don't know guys in London so it makes me feel really vulnerable and emotionally ravaged!icon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 16, 2015 10:02 PM GMT
    Did you two actually meet?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 16, 2015 10:15 PM GMT
    No we didn't. But sometimes you don't have to actually meet someone to fall for that person. .


    And speaking from a personal perspective, I am very bad at long distance.Without sounding very crude, physical presence and intimacy matters for me in a relationship.
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    Oct 17, 2015 12:42 AM GMT
    It's hard not to think of this post as a troll post. I may be going blind, but it really looks like the two pics on OP's profile are of two totally different men.

    But for you and anyone else - if you have never met, you can't have a relationship - so there is nothing to break off except a correspondence. And if you are in London, there are more gay men there than any other place in the world. There are lots who can take his place.
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    Oct 17, 2015 1:20 AM GMT
    rohitroy_4u saidNo we didn't. But sometimes you don't have to actually meet someone to fall for that person. .


    And speaking from a personal perspective, I am very bad at long distance.Without sounding very crude, physical presence and intimacy matters for me in a relationship.


    The last paragraph of this message is how you perceive yourself. The first paragraph, and the initial post is how you behaved. They are disjointed, especially since a proposal was accepted from a guy you never physically met.

    How long did this relationship last before it suddenly ended?

    It is entirely possible you developed read feelings for this guy via technology, but my tip is to take a step back and really consider how much of the relationship was real. Did you fall in love with him, or an ideal?
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    Oct 17, 2015 8:14 AM GMT
    It is true that we never met, but attraction and love can happen like that. But then again, when it comes to love, I am kind of inexperienced so I really can't comment.

    The more I ponder, the more I am assured that we were in love. I remember once I was angry with him and ignored his calls for about 12 hours. When I did finally pick up the phone and sorted out matters, I had to initially console him as he kept crying. The reason: I had asked him to just be friends coz we were unable to meet up repeatedly..


    I still think it was love from both sides. Then, why would he do this to me?

    P.s. Both pics are mine. It's just that one of them is about 2 years older than the other.
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    Oct 17, 2015 10:51 AM GMT
    For how long were the two of you in this relationship?

    In terms of weeks, months, or years.
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    Oct 17, 2015 3:17 PM GMT
    rohitroy_4u saidIt is true that we never met, but attraction and love can happen like that. But then again, when it comes to love, I am kind of inexperienced so I really can't comment.

    The more I ponder, the more I am assured that we were in love. I remember once I was angry with him and ignored his calls for about 12 hours. When I did finally pick up the phone and sorted out matters, I had to initially console him as he kept crying. The reason: I had asked him to just be friends coz we were unable to meet up repeatedly..


    I still think it was love from both sides. Then, why would he do this to me?

    I think you perceive it as love when merely it is infatuation. A guy takes interest in you and you get excited. I get it, it happens. How old are you? Love is not just a feeling. I agree with FN_R5000, you are in love with the idea of this person. I met a guy online and we didn't meet for three months because I lived in another state. Via text & skype he was totally into me, then when we met, things didn't go as we had both planned--he was enamoured with the idea of me, but the reality of a person is always different than how you imagine them. Things are completely different once you meet in person. Why not try meeting people in the real world, then you might actually have a chance at love.
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    Oct 17, 2015 3:24 PM GMT
    swimjammer said
    rohitroy_4u
    I think you perceive it as love when merely it is infatuation. A guy takes interest in you and you get excited. I get it, it happens. How old are you? Love is not just a feeling. I agree with FN_R5000, you are in love with the idea of this person. I met a guy online and we didn't meet for three months because I lived in another state. Via text & skype he was totally into me, then when we met, things didn't go as we had both planned--he was enamoured with the idea of me, but the reality of a person is always different than how you imagine them. Things are completely different once you meet in person. Why not try meeting people in the real world, then you might actually have a chance at love.


    THIS.
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    Oct 17, 2015 4:53 PM GMT
    Really, this was the world's WORST breakup?

    Dianna Spencer maybe!
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    Oct 17, 2015 4:56 PM GMT
    Well I think that makes sense. I am actually a very social creature. But probably I addressed the matter here coz I really didn't know whom to ask. This has happened to me for the first time.hence...

    All this only reassures me that sometimes it is better to be single and enjoy life to the fullest than fall for such emotional crap!


  • training_guy

    Posts: 271

    Oct 17, 2015 5:02 PM GMT
    timmm55 saidReally, this was the world's WORST breakup?

    Dianna Spencer maybe!


    In 1884 Lady Colin Campbell had a much worse experience than Lady Diana! There's a very good book written about it!
  • Antarktis

    Posts: 213

    Oct 17, 2015 5:29 PM GMT
    Here I was expecting high heels thrown, wigs torn off, and his cat dead in his bed.
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    Oct 17, 2015 7:06 PM GMT
    First off, this is not the worst break up ever, and if you want to heal, maybe learn to shut off the narcissist pussy in you that thinks the world revolves around your problems. Try being married and having you husband or wife murder your 3 children while you're at work and then leave you after, or kill themselves; that is considerably the worst break up ever, not this pussy shit you're posting about. Until then, figure out how to look at your life like a man and not an 8 year old kid who thinks the world is over because your ice cream fell on the ground. You complete yourself, not anyone else. Tough love, but you need to work on your self esteem, and if you had a healthy tank of it, or even a tank that knew how to get full without a dude, you wouldn't need to write for this kind of help.

    P.S. this negative reaction to you is due to your title of this thread being a completely unintentional hyperbole, which is disrespectful to the people who actually have serious issues that can't be solved by eating ice cream and listening to Mariah Carey.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 18, 2015 1:10 AM GMT
    I was....I was waiting for more drama, tears, and spilling drinks onto thy faces....This fell short on worlworld's worst breakup
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 18, 2015 1:53 AM GMT
    Drama!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 18, 2015 4:45 AM GMT
    TO23 said First off, this is not the worst break up ever, and if you want to heal, maybe learn to shut off the narcissist pussy in you that thinks the world revolves around your problems. Try being married and having you husband or wife murder your 3 children while you're at work and then leave you after, or kill themselves; that is considerably the worst break up ever, not this pussy shit you're posting about. Until then, figure out how to look at your life like a man and not an 8 year old kid who thinks the world is over because your ice cream fell on the ground. You complete yourself, not anyone else. Tough love, but you need to work on your self esteem, and if you had a healthy tank of it, or even a tank that knew how to get full without a dude, you wouldn't need to write for this kind of help.

    P.S. this negative reaction to you is due to your title of this thread being a completely unintentional hyperbole, which is disrespectful to the people who actually have serious issues that can't be solved by eating ice cream and listening to Mariah Carey.


    Your reaction to the OP is a hyperbole.

    No, this isn't the "worst" breakup but you knew that it wasn't going to be before you clicked on the thread. If you actually read the title and assumed the OP's breakup was on the same level as someone whose ex-spouse had murdered their kids, you are an idiot.

    Both you and the OP are just dramatic, over-the-top kids.
  • hebrewman

    Posts: 1367

    Oct 18, 2015 12:05 PM GMT
    H O N E S T L Y ! ! !, i just do not understand you kids these days. this was NOT a relationship. it was a flirtation. simple as that. move on buddy. he already has. take care of yourself first. then concentrate on someone else.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 18, 2015 1:23 PM GMT
    There is no boy cute enough or nice enough for me to not be focusing on my studies. Plus it's a bit of a turn off to let a guy be your everything. Find some independence, it's an attractive quality to have.
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    Oct 18, 2015 1:25 PM GMT
    Build a bridge...then get over it!!! No use crying over spilt milk.
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Oct 18, 2015 6:27 PM GMT

    If you didn't have yourself committed after the breakup, then it wasn't even near the worst ever.

    .........................

  • metta

    Posts: 39129

    Oct 18, 2015 6:42 PM GMT
    It sounds like a crush...not love. Love is not selfish. Love is when you want what is best for that person.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 18, 2015 7:08 PM GMT
    For getting over this 'relationship' I suggest two pitchers of beer and a lap dance at the nearest gay strip club. Should about do it.
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    Oct 18, 2015 7:47 PM GMT
    Please make some nice warm tea, and have a few cookies before you go to bed....when you wake up as an adult, you will realize that "virtual love" has ZERO to do with reality. People troll, catfish and lie on sites, just because they are bored or angry or sick or whatever, and then they stop or get tired or whatever....go J/O to your favorite porn, and go get a few pints with some actual humans....move along.icon_rolleyes.gif
  • hebrewman

    Posts: 1367

    Oct 19, 2015 8:34 AM GMT
    Sporty_G saidPlease make some nice warm tea, and have a few cookies before you go to bed....when you wake up as an adult, you will realize that "virtual love" has ZERO to do with reality. People troll, catfish and lie on sites, just because they are bored or angry or sick or whatever, and then they stop or get tired or whatever....go J/O to your favorite porn, and go get a few pints with some actual humans....move along.icon_rolleyes.gif


    PLUS 2!!!