Lost in a chasm of mixed messages.

  • RichJ

    Posts: 2

    Oct 19, 2015 4:44 PM GMT
    TL;DR - Received mixed messages off of a guy, not sure what to do about it, any guidance would be fab.

    So I matched with this cute guy on Tinder and the conversation flowed pretty well, he (jokingly) threw some fairly NSFW chat up lines my way and I managed to get his number. Our chatting carried on for a bit and we both decided that we wanted to see each other.

    I took him for dinner at a place he picked and we seemed to hit it off, we chatted, smiled, laughed and ate each others food until we were kicked out of the restaurant at closing time. After walking home and chatting for another two and a half hours we finally said our goodbyes with a passionate and somewhat awkward kiss.

    We both said how much we enjoyed the date and that we had to do it again; that was three weeks ago...

    We've been chatting and flirting everyday since then yet whilst we both say we want to meet up, theres no mention of actual potential times for future dates. I'd ask him again but as I asked him the first time I'd rather not appear to come on too strong. However the other day I asked him what his plans for the week were, he said that he was pretty busy to which I replied with "ahh man, I was hoping to see you at some point". In response to my comment he suggested meeting up on Sunday (yesterday) for a walk and some food.

    Unfortunately he was stuck in another part of the UK and couldn't get back but he did say that we'd have to reschedule something soon, again without providing any possible solutions/dates/ideas.

    Now, I'm pretty interested in this guy, I find him attractive (physically and personality-wise) and he seemed to like me. The issue is I really hate being led on and wasting my time on someone that is just not that interested. The other problem is that I am a chronic over thinker so this could be pretty simple and I just don't see the solution.

    I suppose my Questions are-

    Am I being strung along or am I over thinking the situation and the guy just wants me to take the lead?

    Is there a subtle way of hinting my confusion over the whole situation? Or perhaps a subtle way of asking what this guy wants from our relationship, i.e. FWB, partners or just friends.

    Hope this makes sense and sorry for the long read but this one is really bugging me.

    Any comments are gratefully received! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 19, 2015 6:10 PM GMT
    RichJ said

    Am I being strung along?

    Is there a subtle way of hinting my confusion over the whole situation? Or perhaps a subtle way of asking what this guy wants from our relationship, i.e. FWB, partners or just friends.


    Are you being "strung along?" Doubtful. See what happens after a few more attempts to get together.

    What he wants from your relationship? You don't have a "relationship." You have had one dinner date after which you walked together. Maybe some sort of relationship will develop; and maybe not. Time will tell. After you have been in each others' presence a lot more times, things will develop or they won't. It's a bit early to be asking what he wants.
  • RichJ

    Posts: 2

    Oct 19, 2015 10:12 PM GMT
    Yeah, perhaps the word 'relationship' was used incorrectly, it was meant in the broadest sense possible, not in the sense that we're a couple. Perhaps maybe I should have used 'Friendship' but even that is a liberal use of the word.

    Thanks for the advice nevertheless.

  • Oct 20, 2015 10:40 AM GMT
    You made it clear that you wanted to catch up, so the ball is in his court now.

    You're strongest stance so far is to walk away and don't initiate contact. If he likes you, he'd contact you and ask you out. If not, you'd save yourself time and heartache.

    Hard, I know, but unfortunately this is the best option you have.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2015 1:21 AM GMT
    You have made it clear that you want to see him. It's on him to let you know when you two want to meet again, since he seems to be the one being the busier of you two.

    Since you guys are not serious, if after a couple of more questions, I'd suggest you move on with dating others. No point in waiting him to change his mind or clear his schedule to see you again. Its not like you have to waste an entire day again so that he can't find that much ample time to spend with you (if it's really the job that gets in the way).