Maybe I should give up for a while

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 20, 2015 1:38 AM GMT
    Today my first private client in 10 months cancelled last minute. Then the guy I was supposed to trade massage for private Spanish lessons didn't show up because of a miscommunication he caused. Long story short he made me think he was two people by sending me an email with his office number and proffesion and then a text with his cel number and called himself the Spanish teacher. I simultaneously made plans with him and told him no thank you assuming I was speaking to two different people. I'm feeling bummed. I'm wondering if the constant disappointment due to my not being able to attract private clients is hindering my body transformation. Odly enough I believe my weight is the main reason I'm not getting clients. I know its not my skills or confidence. My clients at work love my massages. I'm well aware that I am an amazing therapist. I'm thinking that I should remove this stressor (trying to work for myself) from my life so that I can focus on weight loss.


    Any thoughts
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    Oct 20, 2015 4:11 AM GMT
    I put the DuoLingo app on my phone to learn Spanish. It's pretty neat.

    Can't you work in exercise if you don't have any clients anyway?

    I've never paid for a massage or had one for longer than about 15 seconds (until I go, "OWWWWW!" and squirm away) but I can see people wanting a fit person. I have no idea if that's your problem though.
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    Oct 20, 2015 5:51 AM GMT
    JackBoneTX saidI put the DuoLingo app on my phone to learn Spanish. It's pretty neat.

    Can't you work in exercise if you don't have any clients anyway?

    I've never paid for a massage or had one for longer than about 15 seconds (until I go, "OWWWWW!" and squirm away) but I can see people wanting a fit person. I have no idea if that's your problem though.



    I don't know if its people wanting a fit person or simply the human trait of graviting to and respecting fit people more.

    Knowing myself I'll learn better with a tutor. I love doing massage so trading massage for private lessons is like getting free lessons. If money were not necessary I would still massage people for free. That's how much I love it.

    I can't understand [quote]Can't you work in exercise if you don't have any clients anyway?[/quote]
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    Oct 20, 2015 6:09 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidThat's rough, bud.

    I'm sorry you're going through that.

    Did you have anything in mind as far as what you'd do for work?

    Would continue working as a therapist do so for a business?


    I already work for someone else. I'd obviously make more if I worked for me. Ifi did as much massage for myself as I do for my employer I'd easily make +$100,000. I'm very busy at work. Also there are so many rules at work that hold back my therapy. Its the trying to build my personal clientele that is causing the stress. I've given out more than 500 business cards and no one comes in. People act excited and will tell me they still have my card and will come in for weeks. Eventually they stop saying that when they see me. I don't count Craigslist clients because ALL of them want sex and are very rude so I no longer advertise on Craigslist. I deserve better.

    Before I hurt myself and before I started trying to work for myself people would ask for my card and ask for massage. This is when I was at my thinnest. This us also around the time gay men started treating me better. When I injured my back I could barely walk for two months and was afraid to workout for half a year. Of course I gained weight. During this time I started trying to work for myself and people stopped asking for my card and gay men went back to being annoyed by my presence. The only difference I can pin point is my weight.

    When I felt like just curling up into a ball after the second cancelation of the day I started wondering if this reoccurring stress is what is holding me back. I know myself enough to know stress causes me to gain weight. That's why when I moved to Houston I cut my expenses so low. Removing financial stress helped me loose that 96 pounds. I'm thinking removing this career stress by giving up on working for myself for a while will help me get back on track.
  • metta

    Posts: 39108

    Oct 20, 2015 6:52 AM GMT
    Since the recession, I can't believe how many day spas and massage businesses have opened up in the area that I live in. I don't know how they all stay in business. With so much competition out there, you may want to consider offering a special initial rate and possibly a deal when they order a plan that is on a regular basis: weekly/monthly, etc.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Oct 20, 2015 7:01 AM GMT
    If you can recall what your eating habits were, when you were injured, that should tell you why you gained a lot of weight. You didn't gain a lot of weight simply because you were injured.

    What kind of exercise are you getting, now ?
    Do you walk regularly, for exercise ?
    If yes, do you walk fast ?
    Are you working out with weights ?
    If yes, are they light weights or do you push yourself to lift heavier weights ?
    Do you eat healthy food ?
    Do you eat junk food in place of real meals ?
    Do you eat when you're feeling badly about things in your life ?
    Do you eat when you're bored ?
    Do you eat until you're no longer hungry, or do you eat until you're full ?
    Do you drink sodas ?

    You've already said that, when you were thin, people asked for your card, and they stopped asking for your card after you gained a lot of weight. Apparently, nothing else has changed. So, you've already hit on the answer to your problem. It's a fact of life that most people will choose the more physically fit guy.

    As it has always been, getting to an optimal weight is as simple as using up more calories than you take in.

    You'll look better.
    You'll feel better (both mentally and physically).
    And, you'll be back in business.

    You can do this.
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    Oct 20, 2015 7:35 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidIf you can recall what your eating habits were, when you were injured, that should tell you why you gained a lot of weight. You didn't gain a lot of weight simply because you were injured.

    What kind of exercise are you getting, now ?
    Do you walk regularly, for exercise ?
    If yes, do you walk fast ?
    Are you working out with weights ?
    If yes, are they light weights or do you push yourself to lift heavier weights ?
    Do you eat healthy food ?
    Do you eat junk food in place of real meals ?
    Do you eat when you're feeling badly about things in your life ?
    Do you eat when you're bored ?
    Do you eat until you're no longer hungry, or do you eat until you're full ?
    Do you drink sodas ?

    You've already said that, when you were thin, people asked for your card, and they stopped asking for your card after you gained a lot of weight. Apparently, nothing else has changed. So, you've already hit on the answer to your problem. It's a fact of life that most people will choose the more physically fit guy.

    As it has always been, getting to an optimal weight is as simple as using up more calories than you take in.

    You'll look better.
    You'll feel better (both mentally and physically).
    And, you'll be back in business.

    You can do this.


    You misunderstood my point. I lost 96 pounds and I've kept off more then +60 for a full year. I know how to loose weight and keep it off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 20, 2015 7:42 AM GMT
    metta saidSince the recession, I can't believe how many day spas and massage businesses have opened up in the area that I live in. I don't know how they all stay in business. With so much competition out there, you may want to consider offering a special initial rate and possibly a deal when they order a plan that is on a regular basis: weekly/monthly, etc.


    In desperation I made the mistake of doing what you suggested early on. This may sound counter intuitive because people always complain about the price of massage. The cheapest massage therapist almost always have the fewest clients. People gravitate towards more expensive therapist because they assume expensive equals better. I changed my rates and charged the Craigslist clients I was getting more because I am worth more. I do believe that loosing weight will help me gain private clients. The problem I'm facing is that seeking out private clients and failing to obtain them is demoralizing me and causing me to revert back to unhealthy eating habitats.