A perfect combination

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 25, 2015 9:43 PM GMT
    Gay guys, most alone looking for the one or often are not sure what they are looking, but are in most dating sites, have often multiple sex partners and are looking .... looking for that perfect combination

    is there such thing as perfect combination? Or it is an illusion that people trying to chase and obtain? Or any relationship is just work, work of understanding and compromise?

    and the ones in a relationship, is that your perfect match?

    discuss
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Oct 25, 2015 9:51 PM GMT
    Of course there's the "perfect combination," but I think it's very rare.

    Most of us can't find anybody with enough good qualities to make them a "keeper."

    Some of us HAVE found somebody with enough good qualities (despite their shortcomings) to make them a "keeper."

    For the most part, I think that it comes down to each person's list of priorities: what's most important to YOU, in a relationship.

    The more flexible you are, the easier it should be to find someone with whom you're happy.
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    Oct 25, 2015 10:21 PM GMT
    Webster666 saidOf course there's the "perfect combination," but I think it's very rare.

    Most of us can't find anybody with enough good qualities to make them a "keeper."

    Some of us HAVE found somebody with enough good qualities (despite their shortcomings) to make them a "keeper."

    For the most part, I think that it comes down to each person's list of priorities: what's most important to YOU, in a relationship.

    The more flexible you are, the easier it should be to find someone with whom you're happy.


    ^^^Yes. One finds (or doesn't find) someone who's in the ballpark of perfection, someone who's "perfect enough"; then both parties, trusting each other, adapt. Maybe it never gets perfect perfect; but the partners in such a relationship realize that certain "imperfections" are in actuality part of the pleasure of the relationship.

    The people who are doomed to disappointment, in my opinion (YMMV), are those who cook up some detailed specific vision for their "perfect" partner, and then dismiss everyone for not conforming to that artificial mold. Workable non-negotiables would typically be things on the order of "must be honest, cheerful, curious about life, insightful," and so on; but when a person starts specifying things like, "must have curly brown hair, must like Sicilian cuisine, must wear arm-garters, and should possess a full set of the recordings of Django Reinhardt or perhaps Wingy Manone," then you might as well give up.
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    Oct 26, 2015 12:45 AM GMT
    I already had the perfect combination. Less than stellar experience, lots of baggage. Don't believe the hype.

    I'm super-down with optimal now. Idealism is for the inexperienced souls.
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    Oct 27, 2015 7:11 PM GMT
    I have to say I don't agree with those perfect match type of deals. I've found, even with myself, that it's hard for a person to accurately describe themselves. They might instead list a personality trait or behavior as something they think would find a better match. An example would be me saying I'm very neat, tidy, or organized. I'm messy most of the time, and I'm not overly organized, so listing those traits would be inaccurate. To me, it seems like it's a game of who can get the best score. This, in turn, makes it hard to search for others as well.
    I've also found that I thought I knew what I wanted and liked, but those things have changed quite a bit, mostly through trial and error. You could be attracted to someone you normally wouldn't go after, and find a good connection with someone outside your comfort zone. That would go to show it's more about chemistry than your match.com score, but that's just my opinion.