Share your experiences with the GRINDR app.

  • BBBBuilder

    Posts: 24

    Oct 28, 2015 3:16 AM GMT
    I've installed the GRINDR app after a long time telling myself not to, given what I've heard about it.

    In the span of a week, I've:

    - Had more than a handful of escort men, gay-for-pay male hookers and masseurs offering their services to me in a purely and strictly commercial manner, in what is supposed to be a dating/hookup app.

    - Had invitations for gangbangs, to smoke weed and do coke. Had an invitation to a party/gathering where all of the former would happen simultaneously.

    - Accepted an invitation for a threesome with an already-paired gay couple, despite never having done such. Best night hanging out ever. Said couple became good friends.

    - Learned that a former college friend was gay, had a crush on me and now was a junior bodybuilder. Said friend said he'd never suspect that I liked men because he "could swear I was a straight, strong, silent macho".

    - Learned that a former teacher was gay, had a crush on me and wanted to have sex with me.

    - Got contacted by several insecure people who would say they wanted to do it "right now", but would keeping asking for pics of me.

    - Got told off by one guy who first contacted me to do it "right now" but went silent shortly after. When I contacted him again the next day, he started proselytizing about how he was on Grindr, but didn't want to be contacted by anyone. Hilarity ensues.

    - Discovered that if you cut a conversation short, saying that you have to be AFK because you are going to have sex with someone, people's interest on you suddenly spike through the roof.

    - Learned that over 85% of profiles are incomplete on purpose. The other 15% are grossly inaccurate (people labeling themselves as toned despite their weight and picture clearly identifying them as thin).



    The jury is still out on whether this app is great, awful or hilarious for me.

    What are your stories, RJocks? Let's hear them!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 28, 2015 3:21 AM GMT
    If you're on there I'm pretty sure you're no catch either. Just saying.

  • Oct 28, 2015 9:34 AM GMT
    ^That's a bit harsh, I'm sure you've been on it at some point in your life, like most gay people.

    I've been Grindr/gay app free for the past 4 months, I just had an epiphany and deleted them.

    After heavy analysis, i've come to the conclusion that the people who use grindr NOW (this is important as I feel like grindr has evolved since it started) will, more often than not, be disappointed if you are looking for anything other than quick casual sex.

    The reason is because of the demographics of those who use grindr is largely unsuitable and unhealthy for a nascent relationship.

    People who use grindr:
    1. 25% are "straight" and want to test the waters
    2. 25% are fake profiles who use it to kill time and get an ego boost and get a wank out of it.
    3. 25% are people who are cheating behind their partners back
    4. 15% are people who are depressed/weird/psycho and have no goal in life and have nothing to resort to but to stay on grindr 24/7
    5. 10 % are people who are genuinely craving for friendship/romance, but will soon become number 4 if they stay on it for too long.

    *stats are purely used to demonstrate

    In other words, if you are looking for something more meaningful, Grindr is an inefficient means of doing so.

    People are not 2-D. Photos cannot and will never be a true representation of a person, and thus you cannot determine your attraction to the person until you actually meet (though you can be highly attracted to the photo).

    There are many people who i've been attracted to in real life who i didn't find their photos at all attractive, and vice versa.

    It saddens me to see people who stay on grindr for prolonged periods of time with the intention of meeting someone special. It is very difficult, as the odds are against you.

    Even if u do manage to meet up with someone for a date, there is a high chance they have issues/ baggage, or else why would they be on the app if they have such great qualities ? (which made me question about myself too when i used the app)

    Hopefully i don't come across as too judgemental, just sharing my thoughts.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 28, 2015 11:42 AM GMT
    I've installed and uninstalled Grindr well over 100 times. It promises relationship, community, a form of intimacy, and what I think will be good pleasure. It delivers nothing more than lustful behavior. I wind up looking at people as though they are Just meat to be consumed. I actually wind up devaluing myself and others. When I hook up, there's no relationship, just two bodies. It winds up tearing my soul to shreds. But the promise of intimacy is so strong I download it over and over. I got to the point of having a friend password lock my phone so I couldn't download it anymore. I felt like I got my life back.

    Grindr is a useful tool if it is composed of people who want more than a hookup. Unfortunately the human sex drive and a consumer mentality are difficult mindsets to beat.
  • BBBBuilder

    Posts: 24

    Oct 28, 2015 11:49 AM GMT
    If you have experience with app, why not briefly tell us some of it? It can be fun; reminiscing about my 7-day trial period was even helpful to put everything in perspective. I hope people will share their tales here.

    Lovehidemelody saidPeople are not 2-D. Photos cannot and will never be a true representation of a person, and thus you cannot determine your attraction to the person until you actually meet (though you can be highly attracted to the photo).

    There are many people who i've been attracted to in real life who i didn't find their photos at all attractive, and vice versa.

    It saddens me to see people who stay on grindr for prolonged periods of time with the intention of meeting someone special. It is very difficult, as the odds are against you.

    Even if u do manage to meet up with someone for a date, there is a high chance they have issues/ baggage, or else why would they be on the app if they have such great qualities ? (which made me question about myself too when i used the app)


    But don't you think the same can be said about basically any site and app, ever? TRIBE, MANHUNT, REALJOCK, DUDESNUDE, MANJAM, ... even Instagram (specially Instagram, where everyone looks like their best, all the time. There're actually psychological articles about it).

    I've engaged in conversation with over 70 people according to Grindr (probably more, as some blocked me or I blocked them). Some were quick fucks but some are budding friendships -- there's this young man who has had come out to his family and they disowned him. We have been talking for a couple of days now; no sex involved thus far, but the conversation has run all the subjects I probably would with someone at a bar table. We both acknowledged our surprise at this in some point.

    The gay couple I've met were sort of a blind date (their profile pic was a sunset). When I arrived, I saw two guys who were, by standards, "average" watching a soccer game. We chatted while watching said soccer game and getting to know each other. I don't think I had ever been so pleasantly surprised. No expectations whatsoever, high rewards.

    And yeah, a lot of people there have baggage. Then again, people everywhere have baggage, no? I've come to appreciate the pillow talk, even with people who do NSA... you learn some fascinating stories from them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 28, 2015 12:13 PM GMT
    Grindr seems designed for socially inept horn dogs who have no other skill than shirtless pics and showing off their smaller dicks. Nothing wrong with either, but I would not go so far as to think there is anything enthralling about small dicked anti-social psychopaths trying to bang every hole in their small radius.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 28, 2015 12:50 PM GMT
    I agree with everyone on here, and I say myself, Grindr and all of these other apps are for a "special" kind of people.

    My experience with the app is that I installed it once, per a friend's recommendation. It lasted all of about 20 minutes before I became HIGHLY ANNOYED with the individuals on there. I ended up deleting it and never turning back. People have no manners, and don't know how to address people. I feel like a "Hello, how are you today" are words that people on these apps don't have as a part of their vocabulary.

    What I've also discovered is that yes, these apps are for people specialising in anti-social behaviour. What happened to the days of going OUT to meet people? I mean, there are so many avenues these days, I feel that just sitting at home on an app is lame. You see people in bars and they all have their "apps" open to try to start conversation with people. I am all about if I like someone, going up to them and striking up a chat.

    Unfortunately, I feel that with these type of apps, it makes dating in the gay world very hard, seeing that people just don't know how to have a personality (and manners) anymore. Of course, as always, your mileage may vary... icon_smile.gif

    Cheers,

    Sean
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 28, 2015 2:04 PM GMT
    Been using grindr for two years now. I probably check it once a week, and maybe get a date the few I had, every four months or so, I'm dead serious. I have work and school and I really don't like grindr in fact I'm this close from deleting it off my phone.

    I don't use a face pic. (I'm one of those guys, fuck you.) I'm black and it's for my own reasons. I have homophobic family members that own guns. I usually go for the guys that don't say "No blacks" or "no face pics", which eliminates a lot lol.

    I mostly get action and discussions during the mornings which is interesting.

    I don't immediately fuck or go ot the other guys house. Nothing wrong with that, but I like to get to know him a little.

    I only had three meets ups. The first one I talked to him for a couple times before finally meeting up. The guy was nothing like his picture, like it was a completely different person and it probably was. We were just having drinks at a mom and pop coffee shop and he left to go to the restroom and never saw him again, and he deleted his profile soon after that.

    The second guy I had talked to him for a few hours then decided to meet up at a bar. Guy showed up with what I assumed was a boyfriend. I wasn't in the mood for sloppy seconds. So I excused myself. This guy still has his grindr profile up too. Smh.

    The third guy even though he was a little older, like twice my age, I had lots in common with him and had been talking to him for weeks. I still wanted to connect with him. He told me to meet him at a popular restaurant downtown. He never showed and stood me up. But I did order me a couple rum and cokes (happy hour lol) and became my own date. It's all good.

    But I hardly use grindr anymore. Call me stupid whatever, but I'm going to let my relationships and romances come naturally. Living in LA that really shouldn't be difficult.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 28, 2015 7:05 PM GMT
    quite possibly the most hilarious encounter (in-app) has to have been from 2 years ago (deleted the app over a year ago). A circuit twink who apparently went to my university contacted me JUST to tell me that there was "no way in hell" i was a Jock (this is while i was still racing my MX-5). Said circuit twink's profile picture was him shirtless on a rooftop in Europe wearing overly-colorful crappy "DJ" headphones, a 45* sideways cap, and what had to be flatironed, colored, and feathered hair.

    It gets better.

    A quick look at his profile told me all I had to know:
    (i took a screencap for posterity)

    Headline
    "Masterkennyg"

    About
    "Furry . Gaymer . GAY geeks mod . Traveler . Party animal . I'm always flying somewhere . Catch me if you can 420/ acohol /league of legends. G5 support"

    Looking For
    "Chat, Friends, Networking"

    Facebook: masterkennyg




    Now...let me be the first to admit it. I do happen to belong to the furry fandom but I don't know a single other member who, in their right mind, would put it in their hookup profile (seriously). Unfortunately I didn't take a screencap of the conversation we had but if memory serves it went something along the lines of: Accusation, refuting, banter, laughter/mirth(me), anger/bragging(him about mommy's money), blocking(me).

    The other generally hysterical thing are the photos people use, especially the ones where they look like they've just been dragged from the gutter after partying all night, cleaned up slightly and given a cigarette (which then dangles precariously from their lips)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 29, 2015 12:54 AM GMT
    I've probably installed and deleted it about four times. It's a hook-up app. Get over it.

    There's a "fresh meat" factor whenever you first go on one of these things. It doesn't last. Well, except in a small town like this... same six guys on all the sites and apps.

    Oh, one time I installed it was kind of fun in retrospect but not at the time. Who's nearby: Neighbors kid. High School classmate's kid.
    Ding! "Sup?" Best friend's girlfriend's kid. icon_eek.gif
    *Delete App*
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 29, 2015 1:26 AM GMT
    I did like it because sometimes people are hard to read. Grindr is like a gay radar. Takes some of the guesswork out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 29, 2015 4:21 PM GMT
    Grindr, ManHunt, Scruff etc make everyone easy to read.
    In the grocery store sometimes I'll see a familiar looking guy and then suddenly I remember how I know him.
    "Ah Ha" I think, you "really love to eat ass" and you don't want "fems or twinks".

    It's worse to see a delusional friend's profile. The "Super Athletic Guy" you know in real life barely walks around his block.

    On the flip side, I've known a lot of Grindr guys who look much, much better than their profile pics.
  • BBBBuilder

    Posts: 24

    Oct 29, 2015 4:50 PM GMT
    Using Grindr seems to rely much more on the user's own perception and self-esteem when approaching the app than itself. I've made some good friends, had interesting conversations and met an average of 1 man per day to have some conversation and light fun (a few times, something more wild) in the span of a week.

    I've also been invited to drug parties, gangbangs, met more than a handful of people showing deep insecurities even paranoia, judgmental bitches, people who can't take 'NO' for an answer and at least one person who had a theory that "men who show their teeth in pics [ie, smiling] are effeminate".

    In short, nothing out of the ordinary and expected (expected being the operative word).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2015 12:00 AM GMT
    Mesmer saidIf you're on there I'm pretty sure you're no catch either. Just saying.


    Because Real Jock is miles ahead. Get a grip.

    I think I've experienced it all through Grindr... I dated someone I met on there for 2 years, I've made friendships, I've made "really good" friendships, dealt with some crazies, and have been stalked.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2015 1:42 AM GMT
    paracosm said
    Mesmer saidIf you're on there I'm pretty sure you're no catch either. Just saying.


    Because Real Jock is miles ahead. Get a grip.



    It actually is. At least here on RJ I haven't met someone trying to fuck me with every message. I made a lot of quality friends on here, that have no intention of sleeping with me or try to get something out of me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2015 2:15 AM GMT
    Also, I forgot this handy use for Grindr: You can use it to find the nearest "24Hour Fitness" location. Just look for 20 or so guys the exact same distance away. I guess you don't have to wonder whether that guy over on the treadmill is or isn't... just check the app!

    It also sometimes seems to light up like crazy at the ski areas.

    So there. Exercise. icon_razz.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Oct 30, 2015 2:18 AM GMT
    I'm the same, installet/uninstalled a few times. Currently have it but I hardly ever check on it.

    I never met anyone off there though I'm sure it's either because A) Black or B) Fem/Fem appearing. These are no way pity cries, it's just the truth lol.

    So yeah, I never met anyone there but I did have someone who seemed to have been stalking my profile and sending me messages. The reason I say "stalk" is because the first time I got this message, when I went to go see the profile. It had nothing marked except "Height: 2'4", Body: Muscular, Age: (usually 20-24) and a picture that I assume was stolen from someone on Facebook.

    So naturally, I ignored it. the following week, I accumulated over 30 messages from different profiles. The catch: when I visited the first 3 profiles, they had the same descriptions I mentioned above (2'4" height, generic 20-24 age, same body, stolen pictures. It's insane.

    And well, I did sign on earlier today after not having been on for three months and I had 24 "messages" that came from the same person, only again, new stolen pictures. It's the most weirdest thing ever. icon_neutral.gif

    Anyway, it is what it is and it depends on one's perception.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2015 5:00 AM GMT
    icon_rolleyes.gif The system does that automatically if you don't log on for a day. It's Grindr trying to lure you back into the game. Sometimes they use pictures from Realjock!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 30, 2015 12:41 PM GMT
    Spam bots
    Dick pics
    Weirdos
    Headless profiles
    Horny pervs lol
  • BBBBuilder

    Posts: 24

    Oct 30, 2015 1:56 PM GMT
    I had to screenshot a guy's profile, for posterity, shits and giggles.

    He was basically saying that he's a straight, married men who likes blowjobs and expects the guy who will hopefully/inevitably (YMMV here) blow him to "like pussy too".

    Now put it into context WHICH APP he's using and the TARGET PUBLIC. I don't mind but the curious guys, but go to a gay app and impose oneself like that? Seems a dick-ish move to me; of course, that comes after thinking that this guy is a complete asshole for cheating on his wife with another man.

    On the Manliness Scale, that reaches -20; some straight guys simply don't have the balls to be a real Man.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Oct 30, 2015 8:33 PM GMT
    mindgarden saidicon_rolleyes.gif The system does that automatically if you don't log on for a day. It's Grindr trying to lure you back into the game. Sometimes they use pictures from Realjock!


    Ah I see. Well that makes a lot of sense then. Thanks for the heads up lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 17, 2015 12:17 AM GMT
    Grindr is poison, I stick with Tinder. Instead of random creeps, you only get people you want to talk to.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 27, 2015 11:38 AM GMT
    grindr is the worst place to find a relationship. it's like finding a prince in a brothel.

    I had few non-sexual dates from grindr (surprise!). but I will stick with planetromeo since I met a lot of sane people there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 28, 2015 5:05 AM GMT
    Last week, for some reason, I clicked on a "blank" profile, which was the closest one to me. It contained a short solicitation to help someone commit suicide, and offered a specific 4-figure amount. icon_eek.gif. Of course the location info was turned off.

    It got me to thinking of an algorithm to triangulate a location based on the distance of the next closest person...

    Anyway, it hasn't come up again. icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 28, 2015 6:32 AM GMT
    I had a guy on there want me to do something absolutely disgusting to him and I said no. Another guy sent me a message that just said "blow me" and I found that to be obnoxious enough to not respond at all.

    Other than that, not much happens. I really log on there out of boredom.