What does taking a break mean in the gay world?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 28, 2015 3:30 AM GMT
    So I understand what it means in the hetero term as in a break then get back together again, but in the gay world a moment of separation means forever broken up? or do gay men follow the terms that the heterosexuals follow?

    The reason being is I feel like I want to take a break from my boyfriend. He's great and everything but I feel like life is starting to get a bit bland. Maybe a little time away from each other will help rekindle that missing spice that was once there when we first stated dating.
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    Oct 28, 2015 4:23 AM GMT
    It's up to you and your boyfriend to define what taking a break means. Otherwise, you're going to run into that Ross and Rachel situation on Friends.
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    Oct 28, 2015 4:30 AM GMT
    xrichx saidIt's up to you and your boyfriend to define what taking a break means. Otherwise, you're going to run into that Ross and Rachel situation on Friends.


    I'm actually not afraid. If we fully break up then I guess it was never meant to be right? I feel like a true relationship can over come even the most difficult of obstacles. And if takes something as a break to tear us apart then oh well. I for one am not going to see other guys while on this break should I propose it. But I won't stop him from seeing other guys if he wants. However I just want him to be honest with me when we meet up again.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1118

    Oct 28, 2015 3:55 PM GMT
    Mesmer saidSo I understand what it means in the hetero term as in a break then get back together again, but in the gay world a moment of separation means forever broken up? or do gay men follow the terms that the heterosexuals follow?

    The reason being is I feel like I want to take a break from my boyfriend. He's great and everything but I feel like life is starting to get a bit bland. Maybe a little time away from each other will help rekindle that missing spice that was once there when we first stated dating.


    What kind of spice is missing? elaborate!! icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 28, 2015 5:05 PM GMT
    LEANDRO_NJ said
    Mesmer saidSo I understand what it means in the hetero term as in a break then get back together again, but in the gay world a moment of separation means forever broken up? or do gay men follow the terms that the heterosexuals follow?

    The reason being is I feel like I want to take a break from my boyfriend. He's great and everything but I feel like life is starting to get a bit bland. Maybe a little time away from each other will help rekindle that missing spice that was once there when we first stated dating.


    What kind of spice is missing? elaborate!! icon_wink.gif


    You know that feeling when you first start out. Basically the honeymoon phase.
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    Oct 28, 2015 5:08 PM GMT
    robbaker saidit means not having sex with so many different guys not being a narcissist a pretentious queen . stop acting gay and start being real on the realworldicon_mad.gif


    Coming clearly from the slut that probably can never catch a boyfriend to save his life. You have no power here, begone before someone drops a house on you!
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    Oct 28, 2015 5:41 PM GMT
    It means the same as in the straight world. The relationship is toast. "I think we need a break" means I'm interested in you while I'm looking for someone new.

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    Oct 28, 2015 6:06 PM GMT
    If things are getting blah, and you love someone you don't "take a break", you either end it or work at it together. Just my opinion.
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    Oct 28, 2015 6:10 PM GMT
    The_Dollarwine saidIf things are getting blah, and you love someone you don't "take a break", you either end it or work at it together. Just my opinion.


    Actually you're probably right. My boyfriend is not the most romantic guy out there in the world, so maybe I should let him know how I'm feeling. Thank you.
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    Oct 28, 2015 6:29 PM GMT
    Mesmer saidSo I understand what it means in the hetero term as in a break then get back together again, but in the gay world a moment of separation means forever broken up? or do gay men follow the terms that the heterosexuals follow?

    The reason being is I feel like I want to take a break from my boyfriend. He's great and everything but I feel like life is starting to get a bit bland. Maybe a little time away from each other will help rekindle that missing spice that was once there when we first stated dating.


    You say it's YOU who wants to "take a break" yet YOU don't even know what it means?! icon_rolleyes.gif

    Do your boyfriend a favor and breakup with him.
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    Oct 28, 2015 6:31 PM GMT
    YVRguy saidIt means the same as in the straight world. The relationship is toast. "I think we need a break" means I'm interested in you while I'm looking for someone new.



    I'll keep you dangling in case I can't find anything better. (Translation: I'm a user.)
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    Oct 28, 2015 6:33 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    Mesmer saidSo I understand what it means in the hetero term as in a break then get back together again, but in the gay world a moment of separation means forever broken up? or do gay men follow the terms that the heterosexuals follow?

    The reason being is I feel like I want to take a break from my boyfriend. He's great and everything but I feel like life is starting to get a bit bland. Maybe a little time away from each other will help rekindle that missing spice that was once there when we first stated dating.


    You say it's YOU who wants to "take a break" yet YOU don't even I now what means?! icon_rolleyes.gif

    Do your boyfriend a favor and breakup with him.


    You're such a fat fuck. Do everyone a favor and just kill yourself.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Oct 28, 2015 7:07 PM GMT
    Mesmer said
    The_Dollarwine saidIf things are getting blah, and you love someone you don't "take a break", you either end it or work at it together. Just my opinion.


    Actually you're probably right. My boyfriend is not the most romantic guy out there in the world, so maybe I should let him know how I'm feeling. Thank you.

    If you take a break, your relationship is toast. ALL relationships lose the honeymoon excitement at some point. But the good ones fill the void with a thousand things that in sum become love. The thrill of the honeymoon can be resurrected in measured doses like a romantic trip or even a Saturday morning crazy sex romp that ends in sweat and laughter. I got the old blood fever a couple of days ago just watching my guy do his work; I was impressed and proud that he chose to be my guy. Tomorrow we're going to a party in New Orleans and intend to be wild and crazy. Do the work.

    You may not be ready for a long term relationship but you should ask yourself if that is the case or if this just isn't the guy.
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Oct 28, 2015 8:43 PM GMT
    Open season on other ass, although that definition blurs when you throw in terms like "opening the relationship." Of course, a break might also mean emotionally, spiritually, physically, and the list goes on. I'm gonna look at this the least jaded way I can and say a "break" is just that, much like a break from school or work. It means, no school or work, so a break from him, means , no him. icon_neutral.gif Enjoy your break.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1118

    Oct 28, 2015 11:08 PM GMT
    Mesmer said
    LEANDRO_NJ said
    Mesmer saidSo I understand what it means in the hetero term as in a break then get back together again, but in the gay world a moment of separation means forever broken up? or do gay men follow the terms that the heterosexuals follow?

    The reason being is I feel like I want to take a break from my boyfriend. He's great and everything but I feel like life is starting to get a bit bland. Maybe a little time away from each other will help rekindle that missing spice that was once there when we first stated dating.


    What kind of spice is missing? elaborate!! icon_wink.gif


    You know that feeling when you first start out. Basically the honeymoon phase.


    My friend that honeymoon phase is a myth, sorta like a sugar coating made up of expectations, that which hides what a real relationship is about. I am not saying one should swallow the less sweet and tasteful senses, that once made you hungry for his love!

    My friend real love is like lemonade, both sweet and bitter! the real question you should be asking yourself is:

    Is my sweetness loosing its punch? or am I allowing my boyfriend's bitterness to predominate over this lemonade mixture call Love!? if that is the case!? take your sweetness away from that formula you both helped create, before he takes away your sweetness. So yes, by all means do take a break, and see if you can regain that sweet energy of yours!!! good luck. I wish you well.
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 803

    Oct 28, 2015 11:57 PM GMT
    Mesmer said
    LEANDRO_NJ said
    Mesmer saidSo I understand what it means in the hetero term as in a break then get back together again, but in the gay world a moment of separation means forever broken up? or do gay men follow the terms that the heterosexuals follow?

    The reason being is I feel like I want to take a break from my boyfriend. He's great and everything but I feel like life is starting to get a bit bland. Maybe a little time away from each other will help rekindle that missing spice that was once there when we first stated dating.


    What kind of spice is missing? elaborate!! icon_wink.gif


    You know that feeling when you first start out. Basically the honeymoon phase.


    Maybe it is time to start WORKING on your relationship. Putting in the effort helped by your accumulated knowledge/experience with him to develop intimacy.
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    Oct 29, 2015 12:17 AM GMT
    It means I will check out the scene to see if I can find someone better. If I don't find anyone better, I will come back to you and everything will be fine and dandy. Frankly, I think it's hogwash.
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    Oct 29, 2015 12:40 AM GMT
    It seems everyone's perspective of a break means to check out and try out other guys. Which wasn't even my intent at all. What a sad world we live in.
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    Oct 29, 2015 12:44 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    YVRguy saidIt means the same as in the straight world. The relationship is toast. "I think we need a break" means I'm interested in you while I'm looking for someone new.



    I'll keep you dangling in case I can't find anything better. (Translation: I'm a user.)


    Pretty much exactly this. Or in practice: "And that was the last time I ever saw him."
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1118

    Oct 29, 2015 12:55 AM GMT
    Mesmer saidIt seems everyone's perspective of a break means to check out and try out other guys. Which wasn't even my intent at all. What a sad world we live in.


    Sad! I agree! that said most of the responses you got are heart felt and from personal experiences. These days unlike our parents people in relationships don't make the effort to work at it, not because of lack of effort on their part, but because of lack of effort on both sides!

    You mentioned that your life together is starting to feel a little bland!? how bland and why?
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    Oct 29, 2015 1:17 AM GMT
    Mesmer saidIt seems everyone's perspective of a break means to check out and try out other guys. Which wasn't even my intent at all. What a sad world we live in.


    The fact that all of the older, more experienced, guys who responded on this thread are seemingly of one mind, I think the answer is clear. We aren't buying it.
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    Oct 29, 2015 7:34 PM GMT
    Mesmer saidIt seems everyone's perspective of a break means to check out and try out other guys. Which wasn't even my intent at all. What a sad world we live in.


    I couldn't agree with you more mate... This seems to be the status quo in the current gay world, and no one wants to work at anything anymore. Sad.

    My suggestion is definitely to sit and chat with him on your feelings, and see. Maybe he isn't aware that you're feeling like this. If he doesn't make an effort to ante up, then you know that this guy isn't right for you.

    Cheers,

    Sean
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    Oct 29, 2015 7:59 PM GMT
    YVRguy saidIt means the same as in the straight world. The relationship is toast. "I think we need a break" means I'm interested in you while I'm looking for someone new.


    This. When I told LingLang that I was taking a break, it meant I was already banging a hotter, younger and more Asian dude and I needed him to prepare to move out.
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    Oct 29, 2015 8:21 PM GMT
    smartmoney said
    YVRguy saidIt means the same as in the straight world. The relationship is toast. "I think we need a break" means I'm interested in you while I'm looking for someone new.


    This. When I told LingLang that I was taking a break, it meant I was already banging a hotter, younger and more Asian dude and I needed him to prepare to move out.


    Yea right. I remember a long time ago that you said you loved this so called LingLang and that you are still with him. Either you're just an asshole racist that see's all Asians as this "LingLang" or you're a liar. Both of which are disgusting qualities.
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    Oct 29, 2015 11:22 PM GMT
    Back to Grindr for Mesmer/Talon/Varus.

    We should have one of those office pool things were we can wager on how long the next one will last.

    Actually, we could have several.

    One for how long until he sinks his talons into the next hapless sucker.

    Another for will he be true to his word and the guy will be of the "superior" Asian race or will he heed the siren call of the pale skin, round eyed Caucasian race?