Confident approaching guys in straight bars but not in gay bars

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2015 3:05 AM GMT
    All of my friends are straight, so I hang out in straight bars more often than gay ones. So, when I'm at a straight bar I feel confident enough to approach guys, try to flirt with them and sometimes even ask them point blank if they are gay or straight.

    However, when I go to a gay bar, I just can't seem to have the courage to approach anyone.

    Has this ever happened to you? Why do you think it happens?
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    Nov 05, 2015 3:07 AM GMT
    Do what I do.....go naked or in a speedo!!

    tumblr_no0bcqWmyg1qc9dmlo1_400.gif
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    Nov 05, 2015 3:30 AM GMT
    Hahahaha, awesome advice.
  • mystery905

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    Nov 05, 2015 3:41 AM GMT
    I think it takes a lot more courage to flirt with guys at a straight bar than a gay bar, because you'll never know how they will react.
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    Nov 05, 2015 8:09 AM GMT
    Why would you even attempt to hit on a guy at a straight bar?
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    Nov 05, 2015 8:14 AM GMT
    Erik101 saidWhy would you even attempt to hit on a guy at a straight bar?


    Because they aren't straight bars. We need to get over acting as if any place not specifically designated for gay people is automatically a "no homo" zone.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Nov 05, 2015 8:17 AM GMT
    I find that very interesting you feel this way. I would think it'd be the the other way since some straight guys may respond with violence. I guess just approach the guys like you do the straight ones.
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    Nov 05, 2015 8:19 AM GMT
    mystery905 saidI think it takes a lot more courage to flirt with guys at a straight bar than a gay bar, because you'll never know how they will react.


    this, come off the wrong way to certain guys and they will want to start a fight and yelling names.
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    Nov 05, 2015 8:21 AM GMT
    BloodFlame saidI find that very interesting you feel this way. I would think it'd be the the other way since some straight guys may respond with violence. I guess just approach the guys like you do the straight ones.


    Exactly! Which is why I agree with mystery905 stating that it takes a lot of courage to hit on guys at a straight bar.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Nov 05, 2015 8:28 AM GMT
    Erik101 said
    BloodFlame saidI find that very interesting you feel this way. I would think it'd be the the other way since some straight guys may respond with violence. I guess just approach the guys like you do the straight ones.


    Exactly! Which is why I agree with mystery905 stating that it takes a lot of courage to hit on guys at a straight bar.


    Very true.
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    Nov 05, 2015 2:00 PM GMT
    You might be more comfortable approaching guys in straight clubs because you already know that there's a high probability that they're straight. Hence, there's not much to lose if you're rejected.

    Gay clubs will do worse for your ego if a guy you talk to is interested in guys but just not interested in you.
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    Nov 05, 2015 2:13 PM GMT
    tmac saidYou might be more comfortable approaching guys in straight clubs because you already know that there's a high probability that they're straight. Hence, there's not much to lose if you're rejected.

    Gay clubs will do worse for your ego if a guy you talk to is interested in guys but just not interested in you.

    Could be the answer. I also wondered if his friends are often with the OP at these straight bars, and if they give him more confidence than if he's alone in a gay bar.

    As for myself, I'm not reluctant to approach anyone anywhere, except not to cruise an unknown man in a straight bar, maybe just to have an ordinary "guy" conversation with him. In a gay bar, when I was single, it was a different matter, and I left the bar with guys plenty of times.
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 803

    Nov 05, 2015 4:31 PM GMT
    MrFuscle said
    Erik101 saidWhy would you even attempt to hit on a guy at a straight bar?


    Because they aren't straight bars. We need to get over acting as if any place not specifically designated for gay people is automatically a "no homo" zone.


    And vice versa. I've been to "gay" pubs to see women sucking face with some of the guys.

    Maybe there REALLY *aren't* any 'straights' or 'gays'...

    JUST people

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    Nov 05, 2015 4:39 PM GMT
    tmac saidYou might be more comfortable approaching guys in straight clubs because you already know that there's a high probability that they're straight. Hence, there's not much to lose if you're rejected.

    Gay clubs will do worse for your ego if a guy you talk to is interested in guys but just not interested in you.


    Definitely this. Sounds like a defense mechanism. We sometimes do incredibly odd things to protect our egos.
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Nov 05, 2015 11:27 PM GMT
    2Bnaked saidDo what I do.....go naked or in a speedo!!

    tumblr_no0bcqWmyg1qc9dmlo1_400.gif


    How about posting a picture of yourself nude in a bar?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 06, 2015 12:50 AM GMT
    Maybe you just feel more comfortable in straight bars, since it's what you're used to.
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    Nov 06, 2015 1:32 AM GMT
    tmac saidYou might be more comfortable approaching guys in straight clubs because you already know that there's a high probability that they're straight. Hence, there's not much to lose if you're rejected.

    Gay clubs will do worse for your ego if a guy you talk to is interested in guys but just not interested in you.


    That could be true. But wouldn't a rejection from a straight guy hurt my ego as well?
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    Nov 06, 2015 2:21 AM GMT
    JacksWastedLife said
    tmac saidYou might be more comfortable approaching guys in straight clubs because you already know that there's a high probability that they're straight. Hence, there's not much to lose if you're rejected.

    Gay clubs will do worse for your ego if a guy you talk to is interested in guys but just not interested in you.


    That could be true. But wouldn't a rejection from a straight guy hurt my ego as well?


    Not as much. If a straight guy rejects you its because of him and his heterosexuality. If a gay guy rejects you it would feel like you simply weren't good enough.

    Look at how some women assume a guy who doesn't want them must be gay. Its basically saying, "its not me its you."
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    Nov 06, 2015 2:27 AM GMT
    Yes this has happened to me back in the days when I was single. Its way easier to be SUBTLE in a straight bar than to go to a gay bar where almost every one is thirsty for dick and basically you have to get on their level to approach them. If you approach someone in a gay club the reason is obvious (I went to a gay club so I know) and it's too easy, but if you talk to someone in a straight bar you just let things flow and see where things are going. So anyways that's how I got my ex boyfriend in one of these straight casual situations, far far away from the gay world. And when I tried the gay club thing I was disgusted so you're not alone in preferring average bars than gay ones.
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    Nov 07, 2015 5:49 AM GMT
    tmac saidYou might be more comfortable approaching guys in straight clubs because you already know that there's a high probability that they're straight. Hence, there's not much to lose if you're rejected.

    Gay clubs will do worse for your ego if a guy you talk to is interested in guys but just not interested in you.


    Yeah, this makes total sense. Plus I have found that you can just have a normal conversation with guys in a straight bar. People don't necessarily think you're hitting on them plus many are pretty nice guys.