Nov 05, 2015 8:46 AM GMT
Outside realjock, and a gay meditationeet up group, I'm no longer purposefully seeking out gay men for sex, friendship, or dating. I am finally happy and excited about life again. Yes their are many obstacles in my way but life is so wonderful and full of interesting people, places, things and ideas. Looking back on my life the other time I felt so much despair for so long was when I came out at 15 and made many "gay" friends. Of course I was always too fat, too black, to religious, too... I never connected the dots that trying to be around other gay men usually makes me very self conscious and unhappy. I'm happy with the the one gay friend I've made and the one bi one. Outside of that the gay community has done me more ill than good. To leave this on a positive note. Disregarding the gay community, specifically the black gay community, of Houston, this is a really wonderful city with a lot to offer. Its not perfect. I think I can grow to love calling this city home.