Has anyone had a tough time accepting themselves being gay?[serious]

  • johnnyqhomo7

    Posts: 136

    Nov 10, 2015 1:42 PM GMT
    I don't know if it is wise to be so open and intimate on the internet about my problems, but I don't give a fuck anymore really. I am a gay Christian, but I am fed up. Anyhow. Has anyone ever had problems accepting being gay? I know this must seem like a broad based question and somewhat obvious, but I am curious as to what others think.
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    Nov 10, 2015 2:32 PM GMT
    Yeah, trouble with it for a few hours. I actually came to the realization I'm gay in a sudden revelation, all at once, after half a lifetime of denial.

    And why would I want to be gay? I knew many gays were rejected in society, ridiculed, discriminated against and even arrested in parts of the US. It wasn't allowed in the US military, from which I had retired only 6 months earlier, earned you a dishonorable discharge, even jail time if you were caught in the act.

    But then I said to myself: you're still the same guy you were this morning. And he's a good guy. Maybe not a great guy, but not a bad one, either. And if I'm gay, and this looks for life, then maybe those anti-gay images are wrong. And gay isn't perverted, sick, evil, damned, and all the rest of it.

    I've told this story here before. I had recently learned Seattle's largest annual gay gala & dance, other than Pride, was the next night. So I promptly made reservations online (using BBS back then), and attended. I wanted to learn all I could about being gay. I rarely do things by half-measures, and this was something about which I wasn't gonna drag my feet.

    I attended and it was wonderful. I've been out ever since, never had any second thoughts, no remorse, no regrets. Well, other than the regret that I'd been so stupid about myself and took too long to recognize who I was.

    I celebrate the date of that gala as my official coming out, and my second birthday. I turned 20 in March. icon_biggrin.gif

    Tough time? No, the exact opposite. I realized in retrospect the tough time instead had been living awkwardly as something I never was. Don't be afraid to be who you are. We do best when we live as the person we were born to be.
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    Nov 10, 2015 3:11 PM GMT
    your profile indicates you were out to your self since our were 15 years old. From than till not is a lot of time to be still churning in this gay thingy.

    I volunteer; you must put some decent effort in first loving your self. Read no further, do what you want.

    Put some thought into figuring what completes you as a person. You are not content being who you currently are. Look for the love of your life if you must but just someone who gives you a more complete vision is good enough. There is no reason why your personal relationship with another human being is not just as important as the one your parents had. Your not a lesser being, its the law of the land, get used to it.

    -The gay is an old thing. your 2-5% of the population no matter how you float it. Your unique only in your closet.
    -The average well adjusted citizen would rather not want to know your sexuality, they wish you to be content. Your choice to hanging out with freaks, wingnuts instead of peeps that just want to pay their bills. Than again we are back to the self love thingy.

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    Nov 10, 2015 3:44 PM GMT
    I don't define myself by what gets me off sexually or who I might love. Self hate allows people to focus on their insecurities without ever really doing anything about them. Seek therapy.
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    Nov 10, 2015 5:22 PM GMT
    johnnyqhomo7 said I am a gay Christian, but I am fed up.

    So quit the Baptists, Mormons (are they even Christian?), or whatever other evangelical group you are connected with, and join a church that regards gays as Christ would - Episcopalians? Unitarians?
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    Nov 10, 2015 5:29 PM GMT
    Every gay man goes through a period in which he struggles with self acceptance. The time frame varies for each. Yours seems quite long. Seek professional help to help you accept who you are.
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    Nov 10, 2015 6:24 PM GMT

    I've always been comfortable in my own skin. I've not always been as comfortable out in the world.
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    Nov 12, 2015 9:31 PM GMT
    takes time to get to know urself but dont let ur sexuality dictate ur life..theres more to life than just wondering if society will accept u or not...the thing thats dragging to move on its the psyc/environment u live in...in black communities homosexuality is viewed as lesser..so u need to face reality and accept urself and know that not everyone is going to be happy for u..but some will embrace u.
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Nov 13, 2015 5:29 AM GMT

    Yes and no. I always, even as a kid, thought hetero sex was gross. Then as I matured and realized I was gay, I felt relieved because I found M4M more palatable, but its still sketchy: you drink from his glass and eat from his plate, but at least its not fish EVERYNIGHT! I'm totally onboard for beef, chicken, or even a little shrimp every once in a while is ok.