The Vicious Circle of Grindr

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    Nov 12, 2015 4:18 AM GMT
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    I'm next to giving up on the darned thing. I mean seriously. You try to talk with someone - they shoot you down - you're down. Someone tries to talk to you - you're not that into them - you shoot them down - they're depressed. You try talking to some other interesting lads - they ignore you/shoot you down = depression. You plow through a bunch of joes who wanna stick it in you, and give up on the darned thing!!! Just blah.

    Then to make matters worse you get called a lousy schmuck like the rest for not responding to their calls then poof! they disappear from your message stream. Well GOOD FOR YOU!!!! Just because I'm connected doesn't mean I'm active, especially for those that are lucky enough to get pummeled with hopefuls. I only check the darned thing every now and then, sneaking a peak at work. Was too old for me anyway. I don't wanna date someone old enough to be my father anywho!

    Just IDK. A rant I guess. No, they search isn't going anywhere just bleh it all icon_cry.gif
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    Nov 12, 2015 4:25 AM GMT

    There's a song for that too icon_confused.gif





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    Nov 12, 2015 4:33 AM GMT
    Oh gosh. Not that's gonna pop in my head from now on. That bad icon_lol.gif
  • somedaytoo

    Posts: 704

    Nov 12, 2015 11:09 AM GMT
    With that body, people actually turn you down?
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    Nov 12, 2015 12:34 PM GMT
    What's stopping you from deleting grindr? It sounds like you're better off.
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    Nov 12, 2015 1:25 PM GMT
    I take Grindr with a grain of salt. I do use it from time to time, and I've to admit that I'd met some interesting people on there. However, as I always tell my friends who use Grindr and Scruff occasionally, caveat emptor--let the buyer beware.
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    Nov 12, 2015 2:46 PM GMT
    Grindr is formatted for quick, non-deep interactions. Just the design of it... you get one pic, a short headline and 2 sentences about yourself... is very limiting. So if a person is prone to depression or anger from rejection, Grindr is not for them, unless they have physical features that are photographic.

    That being said, as a patient, outgoing guy who enjoys grabbing a beer and getting an occasional blowjob, I don't hate Grindr. It's kinda like fishing. You put your pic and stats up like bait. Maybe message a couple guys you're interested in and then go about your life. You'll get a lot of bites from fish you're not into, but you'll also get a few good matches too. I have met some great guys and potential friends on there.
  • BBBBuilder

    Posts: 24

    Nov 12, 2015 4:27 PM GMT
    I like to think of Grindr as its namesake, "grinder" - as in, you've got a boner that you want to grind. Quick, NSA sex. Go in with minimal expectations, so you'll hopefully be surprised rather than disappointed.

    As many have written here, it does not facilitate stronger bonds. OK, that would be a generalization - it IS possible to make good friends and fuck buddies through the app, but the design of it conveys the idea of NSA. A single main pic, cheat-sheet-stats (age, height, weight, skin color), and a messaging system that makes talking to people difficult if you're getting a lot of messages on your inbox.

    But as American Dad said, "Guns don't kill people. People with guns kill people.". It's the same with Grindr: you got horny people who want just something a little more different than jerking off alone; uncertain/curious guys who are testing the waters but always fall back to their default "straight" plan; obnoxious assholes (don't worry, you'd find them on Tinder too); the weird oddballs who are confident-but-not-cocky men that genuinely want to meet new friends for fun-and-not-necessarily-sex and other activities; gogoboys/escort models; masseurs and other professionals (wait, on a dating app? Yep, it happens...), and so many others.

    If Grindr feels weird, it's because people are weird. And we have to each work our own way to become OK with that. I don't let the fact that many there shoot me down; I shift the emphasis onto the people that I do meet and getting to know them better. (Note that this applies to Facebook, too)

    Lastly, you're free to delete it any time you feel like it. And unless you've made friends there, I would actually encourage such an approach: it's way better than feeling depressed. You can come back anytime and you'll even get the 2-week premium period.
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    Nov 12, 2015 8:27 PM GMT
    somedaytoo saidWith that body, people actually turn you down?


    That's doesn't mean shit. I have posted a lot of hot pics on my profile, The ugly guys and "horny? Looking? How hung?" Guys still hit me up. if the OP is on Grindr and mainly chatting with white guys based on his hotlist, that could be part of the reason. Not saying he shouldn't chat with whoever, but I'm finding sites like Grindr and now Scruff, especially Scruff, are more towards white guys who claim to like to hike, bike, and woof at each other. These sites designed it that way because their cover models. Grindr attracts younger, curious, still in closet 20 year olds. Scruff tends to attract older, partnered, 35+ white guys and those who like them.

    By the way, stop with the WOOFS in person. Scruff started this bullshit. It's become some kind of pick up line now for white dudes.

    Here's an article on WHY hookup apps are the metaphorical gay antichrist: http://www.queerty.com/top-to-bottom-10-ways-grindr-lost-its-grip-on-the-hookup-app-crown-20130902
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    Nov 12, 2015 8:57 PM GMT
    The people on Grindr didn't annoy me as much as the damned program. That said iv met most of my best friends thru that and Scruff. I treat it as a chat room and not so much as a hook up site.
    Tho I have waded thru my share of wing nuts.
    Try tweaking your profile message. Maybe your being a bit too expansive or narrow on your verbal expectations and are drawing the wrong crowd. As far as others turning you down to meet or ignoring you. I say good riddance to bad rubbish.
    You obviously have a lot to bring to the table.
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    Nov 12, 2015 10:34 PM GMT
    Could be worse.

    http://www.queerty.com/former-ny-knicks-player-michael-wright-may-have-been-killed-by-man-he-met-on-grindr-20151112
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    Nov 13, 2015 1:21 AM GMT
    SamSellers saidThe people on Grindr didn't annoy me as much as the damned program. That said iv met most of my best friends thru that and Scruff. I treat it as a chat room and not so much as a hook up site.
    Tho I have waded thru my share of wing nuts.
    Try tweaking your profile message. Maybe your being a bit too expansive or narrow on your verbal expectations and are drawing the wrong crowd. As far as others turning you down to meet or ignoring you. I say good riddance to bad rubbish.
    You obviously have a lot to bring to the table.


    Your story is very inspirational. It's good that you met good friends from there.

    i wish I could say mine was the same. I think maybe it depends where you're using Grindr. in small gay scenes, there's a real vicious circle: you chat to a few people on Grindr, you may meet 1 or 2. Then, you find out the guy you met is roommates with the guy you chatted with on Grindr. Or, you're talking to 2 guys on Grindr, then find out down the line they've been hooking up while talking to you. Suddenly the other guy gets mad...even though you've not met and never knew. True story.

    Grindr is a true circle alright, like an orgy sometimes. I think Grindr could be useful in a larger gay market though.

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    Nov 13, 2015 1:54 AM GMT
    I just never understood people who get depressed bc of grindr.
    actually I do as it's been now scientifically demonstrated that sleeping around breeds depression, but anyways.

    it is just an app for hooking up. do you really think you'll find your next love on grindr?

    people go there when they are horny.

    not when they want to meet new people. lol
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    Nov 13, 2015 2:40 AM GMT
    I agree that you either need to learn how to let the fail roll off your back or stop using it.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Nov 13, 2015 4:27 AM GMT
    JackBoneTX saidI agree that you either need to learn how to let the fail roll off your back or stop using it.


    Yup. Totally so. This comes with the territory. No one invests anything into it, and no one has any claims from it. If you score to your liking, great. More power to you. If you don't, hey you did not do much about it in the first place either...

    Use it if you will. Delete it at will, too. No obligation whatsoever.

    SC

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    Nov 13, 2015 5:19 AM GMT
    lol. It certainly isn't anything to write home about. It's all in the moment of course, but still a pain in the long run. I have made a few neat friends on the thing, but yes, that jerk sort of road the point home for me. I still find it funny
  • BBBBuilder

    Posts: 24

    Nov 13, 2015 3:44 PM GMT
    Occasionally, Grindr can be a source of hilarious entertainment.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk6qY8330cI
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    Nov 15, 2015 3:12 AM GMT
    I don't take Grindr serious anymore,, however I have met some cool guys on there but like you said most of the guys are lacking substance. I'm on and off it and mostly use it for travelling.
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    Nov 15, 2015 7:46 AM GMT
    icon_rolleyes.gif OP isnt actually discussing Grindr. He's bringing up classic Shakespearian themes.

    Tonight I Grindrd from the hot tub out back.

    One thread started out with "please jackhammer fuck me," and turned out to be about college admissions strategies.

    Another lengthy thread was from a dude with a bit of a leather fetish who is trying to come over all "DOM" on me. Funny how he doesn't seem to remember how I jackhammer fucked his little sub ass ten year s ago icon_rolleyes.gif

    A couple of young guys want to do something, but "don't have a ride."

    The guy I had a date with is somehow 1000 miles away. (in Palm Springs).

    I need to get Will in this hot tub with his pen...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2015 8:27 AM GMT
    Oh my gosh, Grindr? What a joke.icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    I personally don't use it, as I'm not into that sort of thing, but I have friends who do. They ask me for advice and show me the messages. We both end up having a good laugh.

    In my experience, dating sites are usually better. Slightly. A little. Ok, maybe not that great, but still better than Grindr.
  • nice_chap

    Posts: 277

    Dec 06, 2015 1:18 PM GMT
    I prefer hornet to grindr.
  • Fireworkz

    Posts: 606

    Dec 07, 2015 10:35 PM GMT
    I find when I'm not bothered about meeting anyone I get more messages.
    When I really want to meet someone it's generally a frustration.

    I write my profile to attract the type of guy I want. I only want people who know how to interact and connect on a deeper level even if it is just nsa. It doesn't filter out those who are too horny to read but it works as a filtering system and I have been on some dates with interesting people as a result.

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    Dec 11, 2015 12:51 AM GMT
    Everyone on Earth knows the quality of guys on that app by now so if you're still on there you deserve whatever crazy queen you get. icon_rolleyes.gif