Intersections In Real Time

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2009 2:06 AM GMT
    Je suis un homme coupé en deux.

    So I realised today what seems quite obvious but actually is a profound truth: that my wanderlust is fundamentally incompatible with the relationship I'm looking for. I'm going to have to choose whether I want to continue to explore the world and its people or actually date someone seriously. I quite like being a foreigner, and I get bored by places and people easily. I also (I'm not ashamed to say this) really enjoy my job as a research scientist! I don't think you get to know places by "just visiting" and honestly, if I were freed from the constraint of research funding, my heart pines to live in Africa again. None of which are conducive to boys..... et néanmoins, je suis seule :-(

    Has anyone else been in this situation? What do you think I should do?

    Ok shoot me for having an emo rant icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 03, 2009 2:27 AM GMT
    well at least your hot while doing the emo thing..

    Do what your heart tells ya mate.. if you feel content with how your life is playing out then enjoy the journey.. a man will be found when your ready for one.. you obviously don't really have any great desire anyway.. so why force it..
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    Feb 03, 2009 2:37 AM GMT
    TigerTim saidJe suis un homme coupé en deux.

    So I realised today what seems quite obvious but actually is a profound truth: that my wanderlust is fundamentally incompatible with the relationship I'm looking for. I'm going to have to choose whether I want to continue to explore the world and its people or actually date someone seriously. I quite like being a foreigner, and I get bored by places and people easily. I also (I'm not ashamed to say this) really enjoy my job as a research scientist! I don't think you get to know places by "just visiting" and honestly, if I were freed from the constraint of research funding, my heart pines to live in Africa again. None of which are conducive to boys..... et néanmoins, je suis seule :-(

    Has anyone else been in this situation? What do you think I should do?

    Ok shoot me for having an emo rant icon_wink.gif

    Find someone who has a career that can move with you. E.g., I am a trainer. I can work for any corporation in any city. So I could go get a job practically anywhere. So someone like me could pick up and move with you, then get a job wherever you ended up. But that is a neat trick when you are also talking about falling in love.

    My challenge is balancing an introvert personality....requiring "alone time" ...with having someone in the house all the time. It is very draining to my psyche to have someone around all the time.
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    Feb 03, 2009 2:42 AM GMT
    Someday Mr.Tiger, you are going to find a gentleman so wonderful that you will have either found a fellow traveler or so great that you will want nothing more than to settle down. I mean, you are much more likely to find someone equally touched by wanderlust in Botswana than you are in the land of Cleve. Don't worry about it and enjoy life as it comes.
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    Feb 03, 2009 4:38 AM GMT
    Je te comprend... un peu...
    But I've no advice to give you, only a bit of empathy. I know what it is to move around a lot, I can understand why you want to. I don't know much of life though, just the little experience and some books. I bet some members here have some great advice. Already there is some for you. It doesn't seem likely someone has lived your life though, so you'll have to pave your own road.
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    Feb 03, 2009 4:47 AM GMT
    Maybe ask people who are partnered and in the military or the diplomatic service and see how they handle move frequently
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    Feb 03, 2009 6:43 AM GMT

    I'm thinking fellow ex-RJers Aero or gigman17 would be your ideal... but they've gone... traveling.
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    Feb 03, 2009 6:59 AM GMT
    You are thinking about it too hard. Its that scientist vs. uncertainty thing.

    It sounds like you are looking for something. I don't think you have to travel to find it. Maybe you should allow yourself to get close enough to someone complex enough not to bore you. A good companion is a world to explore.

    Anyway you can never fill your inner emptiness by accumulating things, learning things, or going places. Even if you travel the whole world, you must eventually return to yourself.
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    Feb 03, 2009 7:20 AM GMT
    OK, don't fall in love. If you're not currently in love, you've lost nothing.

    You need to continue spending time with yourself, and a companion may not be in the picture for you today.

    Solomon a attribué le bébé au femme qui a pleuré.
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    Feb 03, 2009 7:21 AM GMT
    animanimus saidit is difficult enough to find a guy who you are compatible with and who is turned on by you and who you turn on. so take your normal list of likes and dislikes which eliminates like 99% of the guys out there and now add "oh, and by the way, and you must be free to travel" to that mix and it's real easy to come up empty handed.


    Or and this may sound completely irrational but you could always make a compromise or two.... After all if you can't bend a little you can't expect him to make any compromises for you.

    Tiger you're far too young and cute for even a mini-mid-life crisis icon_wink.gif

    Besides Tiger you may find once you turn 30/35/40 (and have packed up all your tight fitting A&F tees and sent them to me) You may start to feel more like settling down. But in the mean time you should travel far and wide and maybe you'll find somewhere and or someone you'll fall completely in love with. Even if you can't see it happening right now you never know...


    (P.s I've decided you can keep the vest, nothing personal icon_razz.gif)
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    Feb 03, 2009 7:25 PM GMT
    Well, if you're not ready for something atm, then don't. icon_razz.gif

    But then again...

    You fall in love - something which can be avoided most of the times, but not all the time. And then you'll have to choose. Otherwise there's always the hope that someday the wanderlust will goes away and then you can pursue your other dream.
  • SeaMichael

    Posts: 138

    Feb 03, 2009 7:30 PM GMT
    Well, I would say find a base of operations, so to speak, and go from there. Being on the other side - I enjoy traveling from time to time, but prefer to stay in my city (Seattle effin' rules). My boyfriend, however, loves traveling, but also loves the city.

    I don't mind not seeing him for weeks at a time...makes seeing him that much better. Plus, it gives me a reason to go places I probably would not have thought to go to before. I guess it really depends on the amount of time that your employment requires you to be in any given place. I mean, realistically, how often do we see how partners, anyways, what with work, friends, etc.?

    Just my three cents worth.
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    Feb 03, 2009 7:31 PM GMT
    TigerTim saidHas anyone else been in this situation? What do you think I should do?


    What is your option other than to keep traveling? are you suggesting that you stay in one place in the hope that you're more likely to find love where you are now rather than where you might travel to? why would that be, unless you're in a high-population (or very gay) area now and you're thinking about moving to a low-pop (or un-gay) area? but of course, you aren't in a high-pop/high-gay area now, so just live your life... when you find someone, then start worrying about the tradeoff. icon_smile.gif