Tops who look like bottoms

  • christastic

    Posts: 376

    Nov 18, 2015 6:51 AM GMT
    Being one of those guys, and knowing that bottoms vastly outnumber tops, I've always made sure my uh preferences are always clearly stated on dating profiles to avoid being dismissed by bottoms.

    However I've begun to realize that many bottoms don't want tops who look like them, and conversely many of the guys I want to top are also tops, who might dismiss me on account of plumbing haha.

    Tinder seems more wholesome, so it's the one app where I don't mention being a top, and have subsequently gotten interest from a lot of the kinds of guys I just mentioned, who would otherwise not be interested. Maybe if I can reel them in and get them to know and like me first (I'm really masc in person lol), the plumbing issues will become more negotiable icon_twisted.gif

    Sound strategy? lol
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    Nov 18, 2015 7:09 AM GMT
    christastic saidBeing one of those guys, and knowing that bottoms vastly outnumber tops, I've always made sure my uh preferences are always clearly stated on dating profiles to avoid being dismissed by bottoms.

    However I've begun to realize that many bottoms don't want tops who look like them, and conversely many of the guys I want to top are also tops, who might dismiss me on account of plumbing haha.

    Tinder seems more wholesome, so it's the one app where I don't mention being a top, and have subsequently gotten interest from a lot of the kinds of guys I just mentioned, who would otherwise not be interested. Maybe if I can reel them in and get them to know and like me first (I'm really masc in person lol), the plumbing issues will become more negotiable icon_twisted.gif

    Sound strategy? lol


    Many bottoms don't want tops who look like them??? I prefer to only bottom and I want a top who looks somewhat like me as far as body type goes. If you want to look more masc then maybe do something about it???
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    Nov 18, 2015 9:44 AM GMT
    If you're a top you're a top, you shouldn't need to mis-represent yourself, not be yourself to reel people in, etc etc.

    If people don't like you for you then they are not for you.
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    Nov 18, 2015 3:09 PM GMT
    When I came out in 2010 I didn't know what a top or bottom was but I was astonished to discover that it was as role defining as it is in Heterosrxual relationships. I was pretty happy that an old guy could even have some traction in the youth oriented gay world as a top.

    It does not seem to matter what you look like but what you are capable of do ing with your dick. I'm sure an emo twink would be delighted to be fucked by a guy that he would hang out with.

    In my case it was really frustrating to be used as a dick by guys who would after sex go hang with his friends. I wanted to be the "friends" not the dick. Eventually you find a guy that is a match socially and sexually. As a top you have a huge advantage in doing that.
  • Antarktis

    Posts: 213

    Nov 18, 2015 3:23 PM GMT
    try being a bottom that looks like a top.
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    Nov 18, 2015 3:58 PM GMT
    You should have no problem finding suitable sex partners. I've found that even those who publicly proclaim that they're exclusive tops actually turn out to be vers or bots in private. In fact, I have several supposedly top FBs whose "partners" think they're exclusively tops but they're really not. The games that gay boys play.
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    Nov 18, 2015 3:59 PM GMT
    xoxoxoxo = 11
    oxoxoxox = 11
    multiply_top_and_bottom.php?n1=1over2&n2
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 872

    Nov 18, 2015 4:00 PM GMT
    Many guys have a clear cut image or range of images of the guys who they may be willing to have sex with. Now, add to this equation that a few guys associate bottoming for or topping, with an even narrower ranges of body images, and we all get to understand why hooking up among the like-minded men is not as easy as it may look at the first sight.

    I have been topping younger guys for years now. Dudes who are looking for a tall, big, strong daddy type corporate/professional top guy are usually (not always) college dude types, young professionals, geeks, nerds, college jock types, etc. Nope. Our looks are not similar, but we could sometimes pass as dad & son, older and younger bros, uncle & nephew.

    Now, neither you nor I nor anyone else can really radically and profoundly change their general image without going to the excesses that most people would not consider worth even thinking about. Hence, you are who you are, and to some extent and you have got to live with it, too.

    Most of us do NOT really wear uniforms all day long, though. And we tend to adjust our image a bit every season, to reflect the changing fashion, and the changes our psyche and our bodies undergo, too.

    People know little about anyone of us in particular. And hardly anyone has got time and energy to delve deep into our personalities and other abilities. So, they are necessarily gathering as much information on us based on our respective appearances. You can fine-tune your appearance while still very much within the range of being perfectly comfortable with who you are.

    At times, small makeovers and subtle changes have serious impact on how you are being perceived by the others.

    The golden rule is to fit well into the crowd but keep one or two aspects of your appearance just a bit above the crowd. You want to be noticed. But you want to make sure that no one really starts to believe that you are trying to achieve that effect. icon_twisted.gif

    SC

    PS.Stop short of negotiating topping. Ever. A dude wants to bottom for you or he doesn't. If he ain't sure, and needs to think about it, move on to the next willing and grateful bottom guy. Everybody will be so much better off for the experience.

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    Nov 18, 2015 4:23 PM GMT
    christastic saidBeing one of those guys, and knowing that bottoms vastly outnumber tops, I've always made sure my uh preferences are always clearly stated on dating profiles to avoid being dismissed by bottoms.

    However I've begun to realize that many bottoms don't want tops who look like them, and conversely many of the guys I want to top are also tops, who might dismiss me on account of plumbing haha.

    Tinder seems more wholesome, so it's the one app where I don't mention being a top, and have subsequently gotten interest from a lot of the kinds of guys I just mentioned, who would otherwise not be interested. Maybe if I can reel them in and get them to know and like me first (I'm really masc in person lol), the plumbing issues will become more negotiable icon_twisted.gif

    Sound strategy? lol
    . I think your strategy might work. Bottom line ( no pun intended hee hee ) you're a good looking guy so you're going to find what you are looking for eventually one way, or another. BTW I'm basically the opposite of you, lol! Even more so in person, guys always assume I'm a top for I can only guess is either my appearance, or the way I speak. I'm no prude, but I also don't just obviously state wether or not Im dtf, or what my position is. I'll bet you can relate to the situation where everything goes great, you get back to his, or your place, & realize after your clothes are off that you/he was wrong about your preferred position? Haha that sucks! Figuratively, & literally!
  • wareagle99

    Posts: 63

    Nov 18, 2015 5:06 PM GMT
    Never knew that you could tell a top from a bottom by the way they look.

    Help me out. How can you tell?
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Nov 18, 2015 5:48 PM GMT
    Antarktis saidtry being a bottom that looks like a top.





    yup icon_exclaim.gif




    icon_eek.gif
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    Nov 18, 2015 7:43 PM GMT
    Antarktis saidtry being a bottom that looks like a top.


    Got plans tonight?icon_twisted.gif
  • bro4bro

    Posts: 1032

    Nov 18, 2015 8:16 PM GMT
    Personally I think the whole "top" and "bottom" thing is archaic and outmoded. It seems like a lame attempt to self-impose gender roles that mirror straight relationships. When I'm with a guy, I don't pretend to be "husband" and "wife". Anybody who wants to be with me better be good with taking cock, and giving it just as good back to me.

    Of course everyone's entitled to his preference. I've been with guys I'd rather top for, and guys I'd rather bottom for. But there's a whole shitload of self-proclaimed "tops" out there who are simply afraid of taking dick - due to the threat of physical pain, and the bigger threat to their self-image. Grow up, boys!

    And as for guys who are exclusively bottom - come on now. You got a nice dick - use it!

    Being able to go both ways is half the fun of being gay!
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    Nov 18, 2015 8:48 PM GMT
    Antarktis saidtry being a bottom that looks like a top.



    Ha, ha .Try being the BF of one of those. Awkward. I need the.... I AM THE TOP ....t shirt.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 18, 2015 8:55 PM GMT
    MrAesthetic saidIf you want to look more masc then maybe do something about it???

    Remember this from Annie Hall?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 18, 2015 10:56 PM GMT
    Everytime this subject is brought up the vers. attack each group as being too exclusive or they are being "old-fashioned"/ "outdated" or "copying" straight couples lol.

    If I had a dime for every single time that's been brought up I'd put Donald Trump to shame.

    Some guys just don't like taking dick, and some don't like putting it in other guys' asses. Deal with it and grow the fuck up. Not everybody has to be or behave like you.

    -------------------------------------------------

    christastic saidBeing one of those guys...


    Hear hear ...

    I didn't know there was a way a guy looked that screamed "top" or bottom" until on many dating apps where the sexual preferences are clearly stated around 70% of the visitors to my profiles being men defining themselves as "top". Through conversation I got the confirmation. It's really weird to me, just as weird as it probably is to others that I'm a top, if they're one of those who take the top/bottom-look very seriously.

    It's the only reason I started stating that in profiles everywhere. People draw pre-conceived conclusions.
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    Nov 19, 2015 1:24 AM GMT
    christastic saidknowing that bottoms vastly outnumber tops


    http://www.trevorhoppe.com/blog/archives/2009/06/manhunt_publish.html

    This falls right in line with my attempt to reconstruct Manhunt's databases in New York, Atlanta, and San Francisco (see here and here). Despite many gays complaining that cities are full of bottoms, research seems to indicate that this is empirically false.


    http://www.nickyee.com/ponder/topbottom.html

    image002.gif
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    Nov 19, 2015 7:06 AM GMT
    bachian said
    christastic saidknowing that bottoms vastly outnumber tops


    http://www.trevorhoppe.com/blog/archives/2009/06/manhunt_publish.html

    This falls right in line with my attempt to reconstruct Manhunt's databases in New York, Atlanta, and San Francisco (see here and here). Despite many gays complaining that cities are full of bottoms, research seems to indicate that this is empirically false.


    http://www.nickyee.com/ponder/topbottom.html

    image002.gif


    Self reporting fantasy.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1765

    Nov 19, 2015 1:29 PM GMT
    I recently found out that an effiminate top is called a blouse

    I have to admit that the gay community is quite crafty when it comes to bad puns
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    Nov 19, 2015 6:08 PM GMT
    Buddha saidI recently found out that an effiminate top is called a blouse

    I have to admit that the gay community is quite crafty when it comes to bad puns
    . That's really funny!!icon_lol.gif
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    Nov 19, 2015 6:47 PM GMT
    I don't understand what you mean by "bottoms don't want tops who look like them"? Is this a penis size thing or a height thing?
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    Nov 19, 2015 7:36 PM GMT
    woodfordr saidI don't understand what you mean by "bottoms don't want tops who look like them"? Is this a penis size thing or a height thing?

    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
    Penis size usually has a lot to do with it; however, I believe with the OP it's an Ectomorph/Mesomorph thing; think of Russian porn--just gross.
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    Nov 19, 2015 9:51 PM GMT
    Buddha saidI recently found out that an effiminate top is called a blouse

    I have to admit that the gay community is quite crafty when it comes to bad puns


    That's an interesting term. Took me a moment to get it. icon_smile.gif

    Don't know if the OP is effeminate, but he does appear to be smaller in stature than what is commonly imagined as a top. With hookup apps/sites, he may do well by recognizing he subverts those ideals by advertising to the inverse. Everyone includes what they're seeking in an encounter, so he can write he enjoys physically larger bottoms. This could also intrigue guys who would normally dismiss him by giving the idea he knows what he is doing.

    There are different terms, but "Clydesdale" is one specific to taller, muscular men who like to be ridden by smaller (body-wise) tops.
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    Nov 19, 2015 11:44 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidSelf reporting fantasy.


    I never saw this top shortage in my entire life... I live in Montreal and that's saying something! icon_lol.gif

    To my local friends who think there is a top shortage I send a profile of a local top every day. I even get to keep certain standards like body type and age range. It always ends up like "he's too ugly / too this / too that..." In the end they are convinced there is no such shortage, but rather unrealistic expectations which have nothing to do with top/bottom distribution.

    All the difficulty comes down to leagues. If you want guys in your league soon enough you'll find a top in your league with realistic expectations. It can be hard, after all you can be a 7 rejected by a 6 who wants an 8, but it's still a lot easier than looking for a guy above your league willing to slum.
  • toybrian

    Posts: 395

    Nov 20, 2015 2:28 AM GMT
    RobBaker. I am one of those older guys on here and I am a top and only a top for whether the guy is 20 which I think is too young for me or 50. I also am an endowed guy so not many guys may not be able to take it either. If they cannot then I try to 69 with them at least so we both still enjoy each other.