I don't get the attention of the guys I want

  • anthonybs

    Posts: 98

    Nov 22, 2015 2:52 PM GMT
    It might sound shallow, but I'm into masculine and muscular men and never get their attention. What should I do? Take pics of my body or what? Thanks
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 22, 2015 3:04 PM GMT
    Start weight training. Be what you want to attract. You want muscular guys? Then build muscle. You will also meet muscular men in a gym.
  • anthonybs

    Posts: 98

    Nov 22, 2015 3:08 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidStart weight training. Be what you want to attract. You want muscular guys? Then build muscle. You will also meet muscular men in a gym.


    Well, it's not like on this site where you know those dudes are gays, right? icon_smile.gif And I guess that even a smooth body can do?
  • interestingch...

    Posts: 694

    Nov 22, 2015 3:29 PM GMT
    Anybody that is worth having as a boyfriend will go out with you because of who you are not because of how much muscle you have or haven't got, maybe its the way you approach guys that you are interested in puts them off, maybe you subconsciously deflect them before you have had a chance to get to know them. The chances of finding someone on a dating app, especially Grindr, are remote if that is what you want, meeting people in person is what will get you a boyfriend and getting to know them first before you sleep with them will get you a long standing relationship.
    Maybe you are worrying about it more than you should, I have had more interest the older I have got so chill out and things will slot into place, hope that helps.
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    Nov 22, 2015 5:17 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidStart weight training. Be what you want to attract. You want muscular guys? Then build muscle. You will also meet muscular men in a gym.

    I agree with this. The majority of gay guys look for someone with similar physical features...that they've worked on. For me, why would I want to date someone who hasn't put any effort into their body when I have? I did say majority, though, so you may get lucky and find someone--it is a matter of probability.
  • Leftswiper

    Posts: 90

    Nov 22, 2015 6:08 PM GMT
    I've been finding that in many gay circles, masculinity and muscles are inversely proportional, ie: the most masculine guys don't need muscles to attract men
  • Sincityfan

    Posts: 409

    Nov 22, 2015 7:14 PM GMT
    And the type of guys you're attracted to are???????
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    Nov 22, 2015 7:21 PM GMT
    pay them CA$$$ sorts out everything
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 871

    Nov 22, 2015 7:26 PM GMT
    Your daily fresh meat market is usually a demanding place.icon_lol.gif

    You have got to have an ace or two hidden up your sleeve in order to win the game.

    Ripped physique helps a lot. It is however, somewhat naive to believe that this is the ONLY thing that attracts ALL ripped guys.

    There are guys who are turned on by a regular looking dude who has got long hair. Or by a cute, nerdy dude who wears good looking glasses. And there are ripped dudes who are into daddies. And the others who are into the 'younger bro' types. A few VGL ripped guys will openly tell you that they have got the looks. They are looking for someone who has got the brains and the money. The list just rolls on and on.

    Consider discovering your unique talents, and work on marketing them well. Stay in good shape, and develop attractive physique, too. But make sure that you do NOT become one of the many who cannot offer anything else but a good physique. In the meantime, these guys are a dime a dozenicon_rolleyes.gif

    SC
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    Nov 22, 2015 7:27 PM GMT
    I think you are just focusing on the guys who don't want you and not the ones who do. While most muscular guys want other muscular guys, there is no shortage of muscular guys who prefer smaller twink bottoms. If you are a top though you might be screwed.
  • smegnificient

    Posts: 265

    Nov 22, 2015 7:30 PM GMT
    Can't help but think that if OP wasn't white, he'd be laughed out of the room for asking such a cliché question on here.
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    Nov 22, 2015 7:32 PM GMT
    smegnificient saidCan't help but think that if OP wasn't white, he'd be laughed out of the room for asking such a cliché question on here.


    being white, attractive and young helps in life.
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    Nov 22, 2015 7:34 PM GMT
    You're not shallow for wanting such guys. You're just guilty of:

    - Not being aware of other people's tastes
    - Not being aware of how much competition you have
    - Not being aware of what muscular men want
    - Not being aware of your limitations
    - Not being aware of leagues
    - Not being aware of where you are in this hierarchy

    You are 18 and soon enough your life experience will answer all these questions.
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    Nov 22, 2015 8:10 PM GMT
    just another silly question with an obvious answer but...

    It's not just about the looks, it's also about common interests. I spend a a lot of time working out and I want to share that part of my life with my boyfriend.
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    Nov 22, 2015 9:13 PM GMT
    Leftswiper saidI've been finding that in many gay circles, masculinity and muscles are inversely proportional, ie: the most masculine guys don't need muscles to attract men


    You sound resentful.

    Is it that you consider bottoms to be less masculine? I don't know your definition. It's anecdotal at best. And probably judgmental.
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    Nov 22, 2015 9:14 PM GMT
    anthonybs saidIt might sound shallow, but I'm into masculine and muscular men and never get their attention. What should I do? Take pics of my body or what? Thanks


    If you are just into bodies, you need to post yours.
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    Nov 22, 2015 9:56 PM GMT
    Yea.. it's like saying you're a fan of guys who have lots of money because you don't want to make your own and it's too much work. You're attracted to overt qualities of masculinity, and instead of looking for a guy who has accomplished all of it, look at other men and learn from them on how you can become the kind of man you desire. Once you become more self actualized you'll get whatever you want because you'll be disillusioned about how to get what you want, and more importantly the medium of attaining that desire, which is is rarely through somebody else
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    Nov 22, 2015 10:12 PM GMT
    Are you searching for a relationship or just sex?
  • anthonybs

    Posts: 98

    Nov 22, 2015 10:42 PM GMT
    Swifterchris saidAre you searching for a relationship or just sex?


    Maybe both? But I want a guy who's fit.
  • Crucializer

    Posts: 389

    Nov 22, 2015 10:42 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidStart weight training. Be what you want to attract. You want muscular guys? Then build muscle. You will also meet muscular men in a gym.


    This is what I have been doing. I used to only attract bearish types like me... which I'm not attracted to. So I started working out and lifting. I'm down 100 lbs and plan to hit my goal next year. It has helped.
    I still attract the bears but the ones I like are starting to notice! icon_smile.gif

    Good luck!
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    Nov 22, 2015 10:57 PM GMT
    anthonybs saidIt might sound shallow, but I'm into masculine and muscular men and never get their attention. What should I do? Take pics of my body or what? Thanks


    Be what you wish to attract!!!! Common sense 101!! It's immediately fraternal and a complete no brainer. COMMONALITY, it's called.

    Nothing better than a full name, face, handshake, a look in the eye, a smile and confidence. It will win EVERY time.

    I'm a stud because it feels goods, look good, keeps me healthy, and gets me the best folks: educated, disciplined, thoughtful, confident, patient, persistent, insightful, adaptable, able to develop a plan and excite it. Incredibly attractive. You need to become that same attractive person.

    Study have been done on fit people. They think faster. They make better money. They're more often alpha. They're smarter. They're more patient.

    Become what you are attracted to. Every group has minimum standards. Get going on your goal!

    Nothing is a huger turnoff than a faceless, low esteem, worshiper, that's closeted. A complete, and total, turn off. You have to get it together.

    Make a plan to become that stud you want to attract and execute it.

    Hard things are hard, so...get used to the idea. Lazy creeps never win.
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    Nov 22, 2015 11:04 PM GMT
    bachian saidYou're not shallow for wanting such guys. You're just guilty of:

    - Not being aware of other people's tastes
    - Not being aware of how much competition you have
    - Not being aware of what muscular men want
    - Not being aware of your limitations
    - Not being aware of leagues
    - Not being aware of where you are in this hierarchy

    You are 18 and soon enough your life experience will answer all these questions.


    True. At 18, you don't know what you don't know.
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    Nov 23, 2015 1:33 AM GMT
    bachian saidYou're not shallow for wanting such guys. You're just guilty of:

    - Not being aware of other people's tastes
    - Not being aware of how much competition you have
    - Not being aware of what muscular men want
    - Not being aware of your limitations
    - Not being aware of leagues
    - Not being aware of where you are in this hierarchy


    So true. It does not help either that the gay community places a large emphasis on physicality and image. I do not notice this as much in heterosexual circles. I am more likely to see average looking men with very beautiful women than I am to see an attractive man with an average looking partner. Such a conundrum D: But then again, men are biologically wired to reproduce with whom they believe carry the best traits for survival.
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    Nov 23, 2015 2:52 AM GMT
    anthonybs said
    Swifterchris saidAre you searching for a relationship or just sex?


    Maybe both? But I want a guy who's fit.


    I doubt if hardly any of us know what the gay "scene" is like in Bulgaria, and how one meets other guys there. And I don't know what you mean by "fit". Does this mean a hard body - very firm muscles - or just being not fat? If you have a fetish for a real hard body, and can't enjoy being with someone who doesn't fit the bill, you may have a very hard time, unless you also have the same body. So if that's what you require, hit the gym and start working out, and get that body. Your chances will improve.

    Masculine guys are everywhere and masculinity is not related to a having a hard, muscular body. Unless there is some favored gay lifestyle in Bulgaria, where almost all gays are "feminine" or "queens" (as most gay men were in the USA in the 1940's and 1950's before the sexual revolution) there ought to be a good selection of masculine men around.

    And maybe you should consider a potential sex partner or BF not having hard muscular body is something you could live with. For a long term relationship, even the best bodies will age, and the other guy's personality is what will endure.
  • Nhlakz

    Posts: 149

    Nov 23, 2015 7:34 AM GMT
    The op is way to young to have such problems..in due time you will change ur outlook on life and expectations when it comes to relationships,hookups and etc..but for now just enjoy being who u r and meet people with similar interest as urself.