smartmoney said...Healthy people move on, shallow people focus on a past that they can not change.
Or is it how the brain is wired, that someone who seems to be holding onto the past does so because of how neurons have established--in other words, might not be holding on at all but simply an inclination--while someone who more easily "moves on"--inclined differently--might never have truly connected to the experience at that level (or proximity) in the first place.
Was the Buddha able to detach from emotions or was he a sociopath? Enlightenment from the world or initially numb to it?
To the borderline creepiness of this thread, I'd first delineate at least generally, as there's always some bleeding at the borders of interconnectedness, what is sexual orientation from what is disordered attraction. It is one natural thing for children to experiment with each other, which unless forced, is not molestation. This is molestation:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_abuse
Sexual abuse, also referred to as molestation, is forcing undesired sexual behavior by one person upon another. When that force is immediate, of short duration, or infrequent, it is called sexual assault. The offender is referred to as a sexual abuser or (often pejoratively) molester. The term also covers any behavior by any adult towards a child to stimulate either the adult or child sexually. When the victim is younger than the age of consent, it is referred to as statutory rape or child sexual abuse.
And society recognizes the bleeding at the edges. So that in Florida, for instance, which I'm aware of because we had a worry about my disturbed adopted nephew's dating a 16 year old when he was 18...
A person 24 years of age or older who engages in sexual activity with a person 16 or 17 years of age commits a felony of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084. As used in this section, "sexual activity" means oral, anal, or vaginal penetration by, or union with, the sexual organ of another; however, sexual activity does not include an act done for a bona fide medical purpose.
So in learning that I was able to provide some relief to my brother and SIL that the kid's relationship would not land him in jail.
I've been victimized three times by sexual abusers. Each time a doctor. Minor incidents all but long-time affecting, not at all of my sexuality, but of how much I hate going to doctors today. I'd nearly rather die of cancer than seek help. I seriously hate those bastards, though I know intellectually that not every one is a creep, there seems enough to go around.
Apparently I've always been attractive enough to draw their attention, pretty sure it had nothing to do with any signals I was putting out, speaking of creepiness of the OP. Way to blame the victim, to suggest that some defect of upbringing created, that "some boys deprived of a fathering experience may give off signals that get them noticed by predators" did you say? Yikes fucking yikes. No. I'm pretty sure all the blame belongs to the perpetrator of the crime. Not to how the raped was dressed. Or are you suggesting we all go through life donning emotional burkas. Bullshit!
I was a good looking kid and a good looking guy and a lot of people, not just the predators, wanted sex with me. Even the girls I grew up with though I didn't learn about that until they fessed up later in life. And for the most part I was
very accommodating, by the way. My attracting others had nothing to do with my relationship with my father. It had to do with my body and face. But even as generous as I was during playtime, that someone would creep on me was just fucking creepy, plain and simple. I don't care how symbolically naked I am at life's bathhouse: no means no.
That a doctor would take advantage? What a douche bag. The first when I was a young teen seated my mother across the room, had me on my back on the table and placed his body between my mother's line of vision and his hand down my pants. I was fucking mortified. I'd run that bastard over with my car if I saw him today.
Then in my 30s a douchebag dentist, who I actually thought was pretty hot. Off hours? Not a problem. Instead he goes to play in my mouth while seducing with nonstop innuendo. Then his assistant walks in. I haven't sat in a dentist chair without a magazine in my lap since. Douchebags!
Even in my fucking 50s a doctor made a move on me. The last one tried pulling my hand directly onto his penis when I went to shake his hand goodbye at the end of the exam. I couldn't fucking believe it. I went back again to check my perception but sure enough the same thing happened again. I tried giving him every benefit of the doubt. Maybe a closet case who didn't know how to properly signal his intentions. You know, like how a nonperverted doctor might ask ya to lunch. So I investigated a tad. The douchebag was married. To a vagina. Douchebag fucking downlow doctor taking advantage of his position to creep on me. I'd run him over with my car too.
That's not affecting of my sexuality, that's my sense of justice. I'm still a good lay. His loss. ha!
PS OP, Pretty sure that profile blurb of smartmoney is just smartass.He's not quite known for his serious take on all things. You can safely chill on that, though by this I'd question your own ability to read into things, if you thought he was being serious.