Open Relationships: Yes or No

  • WCROC

    Posts: 25

    Nov 30, 2015 10:54 PM GMT
    I am curious about guys in open relationships. Tell your experience if you could and if you can, elaborate why you are in one in the first place. And if you have been in one and it didn't work out, could you talk about that.

    If you are not willing to be in one, could you elaborate why?

    I think I may not be monogamous, but need help figuring that out.
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    Dec 01, 2015 12:05 AM GMT
    My general observation is that there's usually one partner that's way more into the "openness" than the other, which is fine as long if they're both confident in their relationship... which isn't always the case.

    The idea of some occasional fun on the side is intriguing to me, but I've also been monogamous for over 2 years and I was happy. I think the bottomline is communication and transparency.
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    Dec 01, 2015 12:35 AM GMT
    Nope ....... Not even a chance
  • 24hourguy

    Posts: 364

    Dec 01, 2015 1:24 AM GMT
    This would require a level of maturity, communication, and mutual trust and respect that I know I'm not capable of
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Dec 01, 2015 1:47 AM GMT
    I see this a lot when two tops or 2 bottoms become bfs, which is stupid. Since most guys I talk to don't even wanna meet if we aren't a compatible match sexually icon_rolleyes.gif

    I don't see the difference between an open relationship vs friends w/ benefits or someone you just exclusively sleep with along with others? It's almost an oxy moron for me, open relationship. OR just fuck buds, friends, 2 guys hanging out together lol
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Dec 01, 2015 1:48 AM GMT
    24hourguy saidThis would require a level of maturity, communication, and mutual trust and respect that I know I'm not capable of


    Monogamous relationships require the same attributes

    You just have an excuse to sleep around, although it's more regulated, you still do it
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    Dec 01, 2015 2:01 AM GMT
    My views have evolved on this subject.

    First off, I would like to say that I would personally like to be in a loving, monogamous relationship with one special guy for the rest of my life.

    I don't judge guys in open relationships, I just thought it wasn't something I could live with and it wasn't for me. However, reality and experience have somewhat opened my mind.

    As I have gotten older it just seems that finding someone you were physically, emotionally and mentally stimulated by was tough. I have met MANY guys who gave me a boner, but who didn't really seem like great companions.

    Alternately, I have had many close, awesome friends who I loved spending time with, but who I wasn't attracted to physically.

    I know some guys are lucky enough to to find it all, but for me finding one guy who is both my best friend and lover seems allusive.

    I have come to believe that some of the people in open relationships might have made the decision to commit to spend their lives with someone who is a great companion and/or best friend, while retaining the option of enjoying physical pleasure from time to time with other people.

    This is an option I am leaning towards more and more. If I can't have it all in one package, perhaps I can spend my life with someone whose company I love, and just openly get my physical needs met on the side.

    Not my ideal, but I'm becoming more open to the concept.
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    Dec 01, 2015 3:11 AM GMT
    24hourguy saidThis would require a level of maturity, communication, and mutual trust and respect that I know I'm not capable of


    I agree with this. The guys capable of it for open or monogomaus relationships are unfortunately extremely low
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    Dec 01, 2015 3:16 AM GMT
    SanDiegoMuscle said... As I have gotten older ...

    And invariably it's the younger less experienced guys who condemn open relationships. I would be willing to bet that none of them have been in a relationship long enough to be qualified to say they'd never have an open relationship.
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    Dec 01, 2015 3:43 AM GMT
    azure1000 said
    Romero23 said
    24hourguy saidThis would require a level of maturity, communication, and mutual trust and respect that I know I'm not capable of


    I agree with this. The guys capable of it for open or monogomaus relationships are unfortunately extremely low

    Who would want to be in a open relationship with you or any relationship of that matter when you have a serious case of butterface?


    Atleast I have a life and don't steal photos to talk shit online to guys who look much better than me

    I know the IG of the guys pics you're using..and it's not you fraud.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Dec 01, 2015 3:45 AM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    SanDiegoMuscle said... As I have gotten older ...

    And invariably it's the younger less experienced guys who condemn open relationships. I would be willing to bet that none of them have been in a relationship long enough to be qualified to say they'd never have an open relationship.

    Princess effect. I think monogamy is totally possible but I also see nothing wrong with open. And no, that's not friends with benefits. That doesn't respect the true love the guys have for each other. Op, take note-- you can have true love in an open arrangement. I think where this conversation breaks down is the assumption that "open" means screwing around constantly. That might make dedication difficult but my experience is that open relationship guys very infrequently mess around. And then because there's a specific itch that needs scratching. I think the important ingredient is that in an open relationship, neither party ever prefers to be with someone other than their partner. But both understand that guys are guys and we celebrate that sexiness. For full disclosure, my partner of 8+ years and I are open though I believe neither has acted on it. We just established some rules and mainly agreed that if the other was presented with an opportunity that was amazing, it wouldn't destroy us.
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    Dec 01, 2015 4:13 AM GMT
    azure1000 said
    Romero23 said
    azure1000 said
    Romero23 said
    24hourguy saidThis would require a level of maturity, communication, and mutual trust and respect that I know I'm not capable of


    I agree with this. The guys capable of it for open or monogomaus relationships are unfortunately extremely low

    Who would want to be in a open relationship with you or any relationship of that matter when you have a serious case of butterface?


    Atleast I have a life and don't steal photos to talk shit online to guys who look much better than me

    I know the IG of the guys pics you're using..and it's not you fraud.


    What makes you think you're good-looking? You don't even have 10 comments on any of your pic. You are not sexy!


    Imagine how ugly u must be to resort to stealing pics tho? Lol

    I'm blocking you on the boards just like I blocked u from sending me messages

    Creepy ass stalker. Must of rejected you on your real profile
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    Dec 01, 2015 5:30 AM GMT
    SanDiegoMuscle saidMy views have evolved on this subject.

    First off, I would like to say that I would personally like to be in a loving, monogamous relationship with one special guy for the rest of my life.

    I don't judge guys in open relationships, I just thought it wasn't something I could live with and it wasn't for me. However, reality and experience have somewhat opened my mind.

    As I have gotten older it just seems that finding someone you were physically, emotionally and mentally stimulated by was tough. I have met MANY guys who gave me a boner, but who didn't really seem like great companions.

    Alternately, I have had many close, awesome friends who I loved spending time with, but who I wasn't attracted to physically.

    I know some guys are lucky enough to to find it all, but for me finding one guy who is both my best friend and lover seems allusive.

    I have come to believe that some of the people in open relationships might have made the decision to commit to spend their lives with someone who is a great companion and/or best friend, while retaining the option of enjoying physical pleasure from time to time with other people.

    This is an option I am leaning towards more and more. If I can't have it all in one package, perhaps I can spend my life with someone whose company I love, and just openly get my physical needs met on the side.

    Not my ideal, but I'm becoming more open to the concept.


    +1, I agree here with SDMuscle..as I have aged my concept of this issue has changed as well as being more opened of the idea as well.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Dec 01, 2015 6:40 AM GMT
    robbaker saidguys in open relationships because their sex life sucks so they need to look for boy sex outside of the relationship or have them join in so that they can regain what they lost. icon_eek.gif obama sucks

    You are a damaged man. Can you not see how fucked up you've become?
  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    Dec 01, 2015 6:48 AM GMT
    NEVER....
  • silverapolllo

    Posts: 1

    Dec 01, 2015 7:49 AM GMT
    I do it it works well. We have rules in place been together 4 years going strong.
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    Dec 01, 2015 11:30 AM GMT
    Nope.

    I don't want any venereal diseases, thanks.

    and also,

    my Yoga sensei used to say that sleeping around fucks up with your own energy and it breeds depression.
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    Dec 01, 2015 12:55 PM GMT
    My first date always goes something like this, "I don't think monogamy is legitimate and if that is your thing, I'd let you blow me, but otherwise I'm not playing silly games."

    I know people who have been in relationships for decades and some for months and every single one of them, when one partner is alone, they will admit to either being non-monogamous without the partners knowledge, or wanting to be.

    Me? I prefer honesty above pretend monogamy every time.
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    Dec 01, 2015 1:50 PM GMT
    I could not participate in a "open relationship" .IF i were, It would seems I am looking further than my mate to satisfy some need.
    Why I think that? It takes effort & innitiative to seek out others (that is a llot of energy) why would one do such a thing requiring so much energy? I often wonder if this can be considered a selfish act?
    Having some one, as I have read in threads that they love and yet be able to be sexually active with others. IS this a level of maturity that is required to have if one desires to have an open relationship?
    Honestly- its mind boggeling.
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    Dec 01, 2015 5:49 PM GMT
    How about not "yes" or "no," just what works for you and your husband/partner/boyfriend.
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    Dec 01, 2015 8:10 PM GMT
    no
    I am satisfied with my partner, actually a lot. An open relationship and or cheating is over rated for the effort.
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    Dec 01, 2015 8:13 PM GMT
    YES... seven years and counting.

    A successful open relationship requires a high level of maturity, communication, mutual trust and self respect. A closed relationship requires the same, and nothing less. It's not a "special" arrangement as traditionalists decry. Nor does the decision to open a relationship mean "anything goes" at all times.

    What's key is that the couple know themselves - and actively and honestly manage this decision together. There are always limits ... and the couple's limits may or may not change with circumstance, same as life itself.












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    Dec 01, 2015 10:04 PM GMT
    PHLmuscle8 saidYES... seven years and counting.

    A successful open relationship requires a high level of maturity, communication, mutual trust and self respect. A closed relationship requires the same, and nothing less. It's not a "special" arrangement as traditionalists decry. Nor does the decision to open a relationship mean "anything goes" at all times.

    What's key is that the couple know themselves - and actively and honestly manage this decision together. There are always limits ... and the couple's limits may or may not change with circumstance, same as life itself.





    you pretty much only repeated what was typed by other members in this very little thread.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2015 10:05 PM GMT
    and may I add

    somehow his profile pic matches his comment.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2015 4:05 AM GMT
    I"m thinking about a big NO! The reason I say no is because time and again, I've witnessed guys in open relationships deteriorate, tear at the seams and ultimately crumble like the twin towers did.

    Yes, I SUPPOSE there is some level of maturity, communication and respect that may be involved in establishing some basic ground rules and codes of conduct, but from the looks of what I have witnessed over the years with so called "open-relationships" I think not.

    There really isn't anyway for me to put this then straight up, and many of you will disagree with me here, and that's fine. Here it goes:

    Open-relationships are just a way to supplement for a relationship that isn't meant to be in the first place, or is just an excuse for one or both partners to justify cheating and promiscuity(which is rampant in the gay community). I do not see this as moral or justifiable.

    Why would one or two partners want to engage in something damaging like an open relationship? Why do gay guys feel that they need to have more then one partner to be happy?

    There is no logical reason for me to believe that an open relationship is moral or ethical because if you're happy with someone, why do you need to sleep with someone else? That just does't make any sense to me. I get that guys are hornbills and maybe want to taste from the tree of cum, but that doesn't mean that you have to just because it's there.

    Here's the deal; at some point in a open relationship/love affair, someone is going to get hurt. people lie, they cheat, they lie about cheating, and they make excuses as to why it is okay, and that they will never do it again, or that you can also partake in this.

    BULLSHIT! open relationships are just a pathetic excuse to lie and justify cheating and that to me is morally reprehensible. If you're going to do something like this, then just be friends with benefits(that I also don't agree with).

    The thing that irritates me the most about "open-relationships" and "open-love affairs" is that gay guys are still humans, and humans have feelings regardless of how self-entitled and narcissist gay guys are(they are very much so), and feelings will always trump your dick and testosterone.

    They gay community needs to move away from this if we want more acceptance. Too many relationships and now newly gay marriages are being destroyed all in name of open relationships and this notion of "free love" bullshit.

    I don't agree with them, and yes, I do judge people in them, especially gay guys because they are more likely to be in one then heterosexual people. I find very few gay guys anymore who want to settle down in a relationship anymore. You're lucky if you can get more then one hangout session or what the fuck ever out of them because all they care about is how many guys they can fuck in one night.

    I would never allow myself to be in an open relationship because I've seen first hand the damage and destruction that they do to people. NO one and I repeat NO one is truly mature enough to handle the complexity of an open relationship regardless of age or gender. They are so complex, and humans are very complex. Whoever says they are is lying to themselves and to everyone on here.

    So that's my two cents. I don't agree with them, I frown upon them, and I will never partake in one in any form.