A Compliment About Key West, And I Cried

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2015 8:42 PM GMT
    As you likely know we went to Key West 2 weeks ago. And we took an older friend with us, who's 83. We were a bit concerned, not sure we could deal with him, being barely able to walk. But he insisted he wanted to go, and I was determined he have a memorable time.

    Well he managed, he had a hotel room next to us I arranged, at a very nice reduced price. I ordered taxis everywhere we went, which are cheap & easy in Key West.

    He said afterwards he loved the trip we arranged. But then today he said he's had lovely dreams about his visit to Key West since then. I had to excuse myself for a cry.

    Our mission was to wow this frail elderly gentleman, maybe his Last Hurrah, I dunno. His unexpected comments really pushed me over the edge.

    My point in this thread is that maybe you know an elderly guy, or one who's in failing health in some way. Consider giving him, or her, the gift of a trip they likely couldn't do themselves. Or just the gift of your company. Our gay elderly & disabled need your consideration.
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    Dec 04, 2015 12:40 AM GMT
    Most people don't wish to be bothered with old people. Too much a reminder of where they will be, if they're lucky. (?)

    The worst I have experienced is old people in nursing homes who have no one. No one ever comes to visit. This is not to say that they have no relatives. They just can't be bothered. It's too inconvenient.

    More power to you, Art.

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    Dec 04, 2015 2:06 AM GMT
    Well I work in Assisted Living in the recreation department so... You'd be surprised how many of those folks smoke weed. I keep em good company lol. I don't hate my job.
  • buddycat

    Posts: 1874

    Dec 04, 2015 2:11 AM GMT
    He is fortunate to have made it that long since most don't, especially with the life style some live in the gay community. I know that some don't look at it that way. They think life is over when you hit 40.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Dec 04, 2015 3:06 AM GMT
    BP201 saidWell I work in Assisted Living in the recreation department so... You'd be surprised how many of those folks smoke weed. I keep em good company lol. I don't hate my job.

    What a great idea. I know it's always a bit of a gamble with weed that someone may get paranoid, but if they don't! Best medicine ever for nursing home folks. Thank you for watching over these folks. My mom was in a great nursing home in Savannah (Alsheimer's) and very well cared for but what she needed most was to laugh! She also reverted to her childhood sometimes or young girlhood which made us a bit uncomfortable but what a great place for her to travel to! Nice story, Art!
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    Dec 04, 2015 3:10 AM GMT
    This moves me, Art.
  • Triggerman

    Posts: 528

    Dec 04, 2015 3:25 AM GMT
    Good for you and good for him. That is a memory that you will have forever. I like old guys, talk to them every chance I get. I used to be younger and even then I loved talking to older guys. So much history in their heads and and so much to learn. The gay community is no longer a community. Not like back in the day when we could only meet like minded guys at a bar on a backstreet. I was the tail end of a "Gay Community". It no longer exists. There isn't a Gay community anymore. We got marriage, became assimilated, and thus another vanilla ingredient. I long for the old outlaw days of being gay. Sketchy bars, back room fun, crazy fun. Now we are the same as boring straight folk.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 873

    Dec 04, 2015 3:44 AM GMT
    Triggerman saidGood for you and good for him. That is a memory that you will have forever. I like old guys, talk to them every chance I get. I used to be younger and even then I loved talking to older guys. So much history in their heads and and so much to learn. The gay community is no longer a community. Not like back in the day when we could only meet like minded guys at a bar on a backstreet. I was the tail end of a "Gay Community". It no longer exists. There isn't a Gay community anymore. We got marriage, became assimilated, and thus another vanilla ingredient. I long for the old outlaw days of being gay. Sketchy bars, back room fun, crazy fun. Now we are the same as boring straight folk.


    +1
    Yup. Many dudes got their prayers answered.icon_twisted.gif
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    Dec 04, 2015 3:51 AM GMT
    buddycat saidHe is fortunate to have made it that long since most don't, especially with the life style some live in the gay community. I know that some don't look at it that way. They think life is over when you hit 40.

    I'll give you a little more background. This guy was bay-bashed by a straight guy some 40 years ago, with a tire iron to the head. He almost died. His attacker was sentenced to life in prison. But then this was Boston, not Texas, where the assailant would have been given community service, if he even was convicted at all.

    I know this because he showed me the Massachusetts court letter last year, notifying him of a consideration of parole for this guy, who's still in prison. He wasn't sure how to respond, so I handled it for him.

    Bottom line is our friend still has residuals to this day from that near-fatal attack. And his life was likely shortened, and made more difficult. Though at 83 you must admit he's still lived a long life.

    My husband knew him back in Boston, 60 years ago. So that's another reason we take a special interest in him. We look after him like he's our own older brother. He lives in an independent living facility, where he still has use of his own car.

    And that's the point of this thread, as I stated in the OP. There are elderly and infirm LGBT all around you. Consider reaching out and helping them.
  • Triggerman

    Posts: 528

    Dec 04, 2015 4:00 AM GMT
    I am all for guys getting married and having kids, adopted or whatever. The greatest joy in my life is the adopted girl of my ex. I changed diapers, went to school recitals, loved it all. Fun journey.

    But old school gay life is dead. We can go on cruises, or meet guys in other cities or different cities. Era's end. The great era for being gay was 1970 to 2000. If you did not experience it I understand. We met guys in a bar, not Grindr. You had to have social skills. Not a dick pic and location. We talked, allot, maybe too much. But we talked.

    A guy met you, and your friends. And then decided if he was going home with you. Or not. Lol. I am turning into one of the old guys but that is better than dying from AIDS from some Grindr dude that you do not know.
  • bushman

    Posts: 12

    Dec 04, 2015 4:08 AM GMT
    Triggerman said The gay community is no longer a community. Not like back in the day when we could only meet like minded guys at a bar on a backstreet. I was the tail end of a "Gay Community". It no longer exists. There isn't a Gay community anymore. I long for the old outlaw days of being gay. Sketchy bars, back room fun, crazy fun. Now we are the same as boring straight folk.


    Couldn't agree with you more,but I feel its across society as a whole "every man and their cubby hole for themselves",lack of communication or reaching out.

    Maybe its one reason why some people across your country who "lost the plot" and go on a shooting rampage and bulk-kill others to vent their isolation and frustration .....just a thought?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 04, 2015 7:20 AM GMT
    Triggerman said...

    But old school gay life is dead.

    ...


    Yes, it died of AIDS.

    All the guys my friends and I suspected were gay in our youth were dead from AIDS before 2000. I was closeted during the 80s as was my only lover. When we parted ways in '88 I was so terrified of AIDS I retreated further into the closet only to come out later in life. Waiting to come out probably saved my life.
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    Dec 04, 2015 1:53 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    Triggerman said...

    But old school gay life is dead....


    Yes, it died of AIDS.

    All the guys my friends and I suspected were gay in our youth were dead from AIDS before 2000. I was closeted during the 80s as was my only lover. When we parted ways in '88 I was so terrified of AIDS I retreated further into the closet only to come out later in life. Waiting to come out probably saved my life.

    ALL your friends? That's a pretty high mortality rate. I've lost a few to AIDS, including my first partner, who died literally in my arms. But most of our friends who have HIV/AIDS are living with it, some over 30 years now.

    Not an easy disease, a lot of constant care & maintenance. And they never know what tomorrow will bring, perhaps a bullet they can't dodge, like the sudden incurably fatal opportunistic disease that took my partner without warning.

    Still, these guys are still here, I had drinks with one yesterday. And I expect to see him in another few days when he returns from Ecuador. His HIV doesn't slow him down or limit him, and he's had it about 20 years now.
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    Dec 04, 2015 4:33 PM GMT
    That's really sweet. I do wonder how a lot of gay people without children cope as they reach their final years.
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    Dec 04, 2015 11:38 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    UndercoverMan said
    Triggerman said...

    But old school gay life is dead....


    Yes, it died of AIDS.

    All the guys my friends and I suspected were gay in our youth were dead from AIDS before 2000. I was closeted during the 80s as was my only lover. When we parted ways in '88 I was so terrified of AIDS I retreated further into the closet only to come out later in life. Waiting to come out probably saved my life.

    ALL your friends? That's a pretty high mortality rate. I've lost a few to AIDS, including my first partner, who died literally in my arms. But most of our friends who have HIV/AIDS are living with it, some over 30 years now.

    Not an easy disease, a lot of constant care & maintenance. And they never know what tomorrow will bring, perhaps a bullet they can't dodge, like the sudden incurably fatal opportunistic disease that took my partner without warning.

    Still, these guys are still here, I had drinks with one yesterday. And I expect to see him in another few days when he returns from Ecuador. His HIV doesn't slow him down or limit him, and he's had it about 20 years now.


    I said "all the guys my friends and I suspected of being gay." That is VASTLY different than "all my friends."

    READING IS FUNDAMENTAL.
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    Dec 05, 2015 1:34 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    I said "all the guys my friends and I suspected of being gay." That is VASTLY different than "all my friends."

    READING IS FUNDAMENTAL.

    "All the guys my friends and I suspected were gay in our youth were dead from AIDS before 2000" still sounds pretty inclusive. But as you wish...
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Dec 05, 2015 10:37 PM GMT
    Art, this is great.
    I'm so glad you gave this man an opportunity to "get away"...especialy somewhere as beautiful as KW.

    It's funny sometimes how when we do something for someone and we consider it annoying or munndane, the person regards it so much more than we could have ever imagined.