I feel very bad literally in a severe psychological pain

  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Dec 03, 2015 8:48 PM GMT
    Well,maybe writing these things in a post won't help a lot,but I don't know better way than this to express my feelings and maybe find a solution
    I am an Arab living in the middle east and
    every day I become more aware how it is extremely hard to live in an area where I live,I am always acting as str8 guy,acting as if I love girls and want to know them in front of my freinds,I reached a point that I will collapse if u don't make it and leave my country,not only str8 people here get married,but also GAY(100% homosexual) get married!!! which really shocks me,how they will act all of their life and behave as straight,and lie to their wifes for the rest of their lives ,how can they be unjust for the girls and deceive them to thinks they r str8,just becuse they want them as a "social cover"
    I really feel scared and lonely in the meantime because of the miserable future that is waiting if I stay here. Plz guys I need your advices
    sorry for my english,not my mother tongue
  • LostSailor

    Posts: 163

    Dec 03, 2015 8:52 PM GMT
    For your own safety, you can't do anything but stay in hiding (judging by recent videos of gays bring killed there).
    I cant offer anymore help...but I do wish u well.
    Good luck man!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2015 11:38 PM GMT
    Find a way to get to Europe, where you could claim asylum, and live free.

    Can you get a tourist visa to anywhere in Europe?
  • JackNNJ

    Posts: 1051

    Dec 03, 2015 11:44 PM GMT
    Go the gym. You'll feel better.
  • David3K

    Posts: 231

    Dec 03, 2015 11:48 PM GMT
    Find a way out of your country, flee to Europe
  • JackNNJ

    Posts: 1051

    Dec 04, 2015 4:35 AM GMT
    David666K saidFind a way out of your country, flee to Europe


    Which is becoming Eurabia.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 04, 2015 7:02 AM GMT
    Your profile says you're in Israel. I didn't think things were bad for homosexuals in Israel.
  • Fireworkz

    Posts: 606

    Dec 04, 2015 11:11 AM GMT
    It takes time to get comfortable with your sexuality.
    Even though you may be experiencing outside pressure you need to just be ok with not having to give in to it.

    Take small steps with yourself. Just take time to be yourself. Even if you were straight you would still have the choice of if and when you wanted to get married. The guilt/shame about being gay is adding to the pressure, but ultimately you have choice over your life. Just think, your straight peers have the freedom to meet girls and decide on who they want to marry. Men don't have the same pressures as women to get married. So at the very least take back this right to choose for yourself.

    Then as for being gay, allow yourself to be ok with whatever you are feeling. Many of us have experienced family pressures especially when you have a religious/conservative family.

    I'm out to my parents even though my mum is quite religious. She doesn't accept my sexuality but we have a loving relationship. My Dad isn't too happy about be me being gay but his is more about having grand children. In fact he's fine with me being gay as long as I have biological children. So it is possible to be yourself and have a large disagreement with your family. You need to find the strength to be you.

    There are also other options. I have a friend who is married to a lesbian, for the appearance of culture they are married in the eyes of family. They have kids as well. Inside their relationship they are free to have their same sex partners. So there options.


    Also can you go somewhere more tolerant in Israel such as Tel Aviv? Which is more open?
  • David3K

    Posts: 231

    Dec 04, 2015 2:26 PM GMT
    JackNNJ said
    David666K saidFind a way out of your country, flee to Europe


    Which is becoming Eurabia.

    True and Im against that but this guy is not going to reproduce.
  • Fireworkz

    Posts: 606

    Dec 04, 2015 2:37 PM GMT
    I've traveled to a few places in Europe and live in the UK and have not seen many Arabs living there.

    The only ones I see are the rich ones from Saudi who are going to Europe for the summer to escape the Middle Eastern heat. These are tourists not residents and are just as welcome as the rich Russians, Africans and Asians that visit Europe.

    So Europe is not becoming Eurabia.

    Maybe you are confusing Arabs with Turks, Moroccans and other North Africans.
  • badbug

    Posts: 800

    Dec 05, 2015 5:35 AM GMT

    Leave your shitty culture, for a slightly less shitty one.


    Work on your english and find a place to escape to. Canada, New Zealand, England, Australia are all nice places.... get an education in needed fields and find a job in those places and get out.


    Come up with a goal, getting out, and work towards that goal. I know canada is always looking for healthcare workers, i am sure other countries have their needs.

    Look for resources online and look for resources in your community as far as job placement and career counselling goes.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 874

    Dec 05, 2015 6:22 AM GMT
    badbug said
    Leave your shitty culture, for a slightly less shitty one.


    Work on your english and find a place to escape to. Canada, New Zealand, England, Australia are all nice places.... get an education in needed fields and find a job in those places and get out.


    Come up with a goal, getting out, and work towards that goal. I know canada is always looking for healthcare workers, i am sure other countries have their needs.

    Look for resources online and look for resources in your community as far as job placement and career counselling goes.


    +1

    Yup.

    This is the best, most realistic and possibly smartest plan here.

    Get yourself a set of very marketable skills. Be prepared to go slightly below the current market rate, and you are in for a ride. Your personal story and feelings are yours. Countries and markets need what they need, and if you can deliver, well, you are very
    welcome.

    Remember that "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."

    SC
  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Dec 05, 2015 12:34 PM GMT
    LostSailor saidFor your own safety, you can't do anything but stay in hiding (judging by recent videos of gays bring killed there).
    I cant offer anymore help...but I do wish u well.
    Good luck man!


    Thank you man
  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Dec 05, 2015 12:37 PM GMT
    HikerSkier saidFind a way to get to Europe, where you could claim asylum, and live free.

    Can you get a tourist visa to anywhere in Europe?


    Hey man
    Yea I can and I traveled once to Budapest,I am planning to work & live in Usa,It is not that easy but I am trying,still doing the first steps.
  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Dec 05, 2015 12:38 PM GMT
    JackNNJ saidGo the gym. You'll feel better.

    Thanks for the advice,I will return again to the Gym after a couple of days,you are right this will help me to have a better mood,and to think more wisely.
  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Dec 05, 2015 12:39 PM GMT
    David666K saidFind a way out of your country, flee to Europe


    I am working on it,thank you for your advice.
  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Dec 05, 2015 12:40 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidYour profile says you're in Israel. I didn't think things were bad for homosexuals in Israel.


    I am in the Arabic part of israel,so you can imagine the rest.
  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Dec 05, 2015 12:59 PM GMT
    Fireworkz saidIt takes time to get comfortable with your sexuality.
    Even though you may be experiencing outside pressure you need to just be ok with not having to give in to it.

    Take small steps with yourself. Just take time to be yourself. Even if you were straight you would still have the choice of if and when you wanted to get married. The guilt/shame about being gay is adding to the pressure, but ultimately you have choice over your life. Just think, your straight peers have the freedom to meet girls and decide on who they want to marry. Men don't have the same pressures as women to get married. So at the very least take back this right to choose for yourself.

    Then as for being gay, allow yourself to be ok with whatever you are feeling. Many of us have experienced family pressures especially when you have a religious/conservative family.

    I'm out to my parents even though my mum is quite religious. She doesn't accept my sexuality but we have a loving relationship. My Dad isn't too happy about be me being gay but his is more about having grand children. In fact he's fine with me being gay as long as I have biological children. So it is possible to be yourself and have a large disagreement with your family. You need to find the strength to be you.

    There are also other options. I have a friend who is married to a lesbian, for the appearance of culture they are married in the eyes of family. They have kids as well. Inside their relationship they are free to have their same sex partners. So there options.


    Also can you go somewhere more tolerant in Israel such as Tel Aviv? Which is more open?


    Fireworkz first of all thank you for your reply and your nice words.

    About being gay,I surpassed the issue of not accepting myself or feeling guilty coz I am gay,on the contrary I am proud of myself being gay,and I find it as a blessing despite the fact that I live in a homophobic region.

    About marrying a lesbian,I am thinking of it and I am planning to do this,and I believe it is a very good solution,coz every side know about the other side,and in this way u have the freedom to be gay,the only problem is it is hard to find a lesbian in a community where nobody is out of the closet,but I am trying to find some girls online although I didn't find a lot,don't know why,maybe lesbians are naturally fewer than gays.

    I work in Tel Aviv,but at the end of the day,u r still not separated from your community,u can say that it gives me good feelings for few hours when I am in tel aviv,but that won't solve many issues especially long term issues(marriage etc...)
  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Dec 05, 2015 1:05 PM GMT
    badbug said
    Leave your shitty culture, for a slightly less shitty one.


    Work on your english and find a place to escape to. Canada, New Zealand, England, Australia are all nice places.... get an education in needed fields and find a job in those places and get out.


    Come up with a goal, getting out, and work towards that goal. I know canada is always looking for healthcare workers, i am sure other countries have their needs.

    Look for resources online and look for resources in your community as far as job placement and career counselling goes.


    My english is relatively good,Thank's God I am a healthcare worker,my plans is to escape to U.S.A which is more difficult,maybe I will temporary go to Canada and I don,t know if this will make my plans to go to U.S.A easier, coz there is a friend in Canada who is convincing me to come there,so maybe I will go there.
    One thing that frightens me actually which I don't know if this is a realistic fear,that I don't want to be officially registered as a Gay person when I seek asylum in Canada!!
  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Dec 05, 2015 1:06 PM GMT
    SilverRRCloud said
    badbug said
    Leave your shitty culture, for a slightly less shitty one.


    Work on your english and find a place to escape to. Canada, New Zealand, England, Australia are all nice places.... get an education in needed fields and find a job in those places and get out.


    Come up with a goal, getting out, and work towards that goal. I know canada is always looking for healthcare workers, i am sure other countries have their needs.

    Look for resources online and look for resources in your community as far as job placement and career counselling goes.


    +1

    Yup.

    This is the best, most realistic and possibly smartest plan here.

    Get yourself a set of very marketable skills. Be prepared to go slightly below the current market rate, and you are in for a ride. Your personal story and feelings are yours. Countries and markets need what they need, and if you can deliver, well, you are very
    welcome.

    Remember that "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."

    SC


    Thank you,I agree
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 05, 2015 5:32 PM GMT
    theantijock%20engage%20stalker%20reducti

    You're actually in kind of a curious situation, at nearly an apex of a number of issues.

    Gay in a str8 world as are we all. But also...

    Arab, with how Muslims feel about being gay (and act towards us), yet living under some protection against Sharia by Israeli law.

    Wanting to live freely as yourself yet you seem a loving character so I'd imagine you'll miss family and friends should you leave.

    Stuck in or at least not easy to remove yourself from this situation you were born into while having easy access to view freedoms being gained outside your world.

    So what do you do, stay and fight for your rights, working towards changing your world? Leaving it behind to seek peace of mind which will come at the price of distance between you and your loved ones? Benefiting personally from rights already gained elsewhere while also affecting loved ones--which can help change the world you leave--if, say, they discover why you left after or even before the fact; or staying to help directly--even if not actively but by coming out to those who love you--to maybe bring to yourself (though at risk) and your gay brethren rights not yet realized?

    It almost reminds me of the Vietnam War in America during a time when consciousness was expanding with regard to how we value human life, with how we judge which war is just. So some voluntarily enlisted, some were conscripted, some refused and were jailed and some took off for Canada. Each one making their statement and by that moving the world.
  • badbug

    Posts: 800

    Dec 06, 2015 8:48 AM GMT

    I don't think you will need to seek asylum in canada.

    If you can get a job here that you are coming over for, there's a good chance you'll be able to stay here.

    When you are here, there are plenty of places that you will be able to get good legal advice for free that can help you with any worries about declarative statements on legal forms.


  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Dec 07, 2015 11:20 PM GMT
    theantijock saidtheantijock%20engage%20stalker%20reducti

    You're actually in kind of a curious situation, at nearly an apex of a number of issues.

    Gay in a str8 world as are we all. But also...

    Arab, with how Muslims feel about being gay (and act towards us), yet living under some protection against Sharia by Israeli law.

    Wanting to live freely as yourself yet you seem a loving character so I'd imagine you'll miss family and friends should you leave.

    Stuck in or at least not easy to remove yourself from this situation you were born into while having easy access to view freedoms being gained outside your world.

    So what do you do, stay and fight for your rights, working towards changing your world? Leaving it behind to seek peace of mind which will come at the price of distance between you and your loved ones? Benefiting personally from rights already gained elsewhere while also affecting loved ones--which can help change the world you leave--if, say, they discover why you left after or even before the fact; or staying to help directly--even if not actively but by coming out to those who love you--to maybe bring to yourself (though at risk) and your gay brethren rights not yet realized?

    It almost reminds me of the Vietnam War in America during a time when consciousness was expanding with regard to how we value human life, with how we judge which war is just. So some voluntarily enlisted, some were conscripted, some refused and were jailed and some took off for Canada. Each one making their statement and by that moving the world.


    Hey man,thank u for your reply and for your nice words
    Yes as u described I am in the middle,in a grey area nor black nor white!!
    But day after day my decisions become more obvious and clear,to leave the country??Yes I already decided and there is no way I will change my decision.
    About my family,yes I love them,Yes it is hard to leave them not because I can't leave because I don't want to hurt their feelings,but also staying here and suffer the rest of my life is not an option either,especially there is other family members"my brothers and sisters" so I am not leaving them alone,and I don't think they will be happy seeing me suffering here.
    Yes it is a lose lose situation,but leaving is a less loss I believe especially in the long term.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2015 4:25 AM GMT
    You're welcome man. I think any step you take in whichever direction will be a brave one. Best of luck to you.