Dec 07, 2015 10:52 AM GMT
I need to vent and hopefully some insight(not advice per say) about what seems to be the issues with gay men in general when it comes to connections beyond sexual attraction and commitment issues that so many seem to have.
I recently had to cut ties with a guy that I was talking with over text and phone. WE met a few years ago and some wild terms, but after I became recently single, we reconnected and had been texting and talking on the phone. We talked about a number of issues regarding relationships, commitment and what we wanted from one and possibly from each other.
We are both in rough spots in out lives right now, and I understand that the timing may have not been right, but we still had agreed to take things slow and meet for coffee a few times and talk about possibly dating.
It was all fine and good until last Thursday he invited me over for drinks and to spend the night. I thought I was just gonna go over there and then either cuddle with him and sleep. He had work the next morning, so I didn't think anything of it. That was obviously a very poor decision on my part. We ended up drinking and having sex, and it was terrible because I have performance anxiety the first time if I'm having high expectations put on me and even worse when I'm drunk to tipsy.
I didn't sleep well that night and had to leave early with him the next morning to go home so he could drop his kid off at day care and then go to work.
Here's where I'm just really confused and fed up:
Why is it that gay men do this? Why do they play games like this, and why do they lead people on and then lie just to get some action? Why can't they just be honest and upfront from the get go? What's the issue?
I've been upfront with this guy from day one, and he has never reciprocated any of the communication that I gave him. That was also another red flag, and I brushed it off because maybe he was really shy or just didn't know what to say right away. I was understanding to a fault, but he took full and clear advantage of it, and of me, especially that night when we were drunk.
Why do gay men do this?
All I wanted was an honest connection and clear reciprocated communication, and all I got was standoffish one worded answers every time.
It seems like every time I try to presue someone I like, they effectively blow me off and play these fucking games with me. I"m too old for this shit. I'm almost 30, and I don't have time for this shit anymore. What the fuck is wrong with people these days!?
I've cut him off, and I will not presue him anymore, and will also not do the same with anyone else anymore. I also don't want to hear this bullshit about how it's me not trying hard enough, or there are more guys out there, or what the fuck ever bullshit can be spewed at me because I've heard it all and believe me, It's old as fuck to me now.
I'm tired of being blown off, lied to, led on, and not having reciprocated communication.
Did I do something by being forward and direct with this guy, did I scare him off, or is he just too immature and insecure about himself?
The "I'm very busy bullshit" doesn't cut it with me anymore, either.
So yeah, thought, comments, etc?
GO!
I recently had to cut ties with a guy that I was talking with over text and phone. WE met a few years ago and some wild terms, but after I became recently single, we reconnected and had been texting and talking on the phone. We talked about a number of issues regarding relationships, commitment and what we wanted from one and possibly from each other.
We are both in rough spots in out lives right now, and I understand that the timing may have not been right, but we still had agreed to take things slow and meet for coffee a few times and talk about possibly dating.
It was all fine and good until last Thursday he invited me over for drinks and to spend the night. I thought I was just gonna go over there and then either cuddle with him and sleep. He had work the next morning, so I didn't think anything of it. That was obviously a very poor decision on my part. We ended up drinking and having sex, and it was terrible because I have performance anxiety the first time if I'm having high expectations put on me and even worse when I'm drunk to tipsy.
I didn't sleep well that night and had to leave early with him the next morning to go home so he could drop his kid off at day care and then go to work.
Here's where I'm just really confused and fed up:
Why is it that gay men do this? Why do they play games like this, and why do they lead people on and then lie just to get some action? Why can't they just be honest and upfront from the get go? What's the issue?
I've been upfront with this guy from day one, and he has never reciprocated any of the communication that I gave him. That was also another red flag, and I brushed it off because maybe he was really shy or just didn't know what to say right away. I was understanding to a fault, but he took full and clear advantage of it, and of me, especially that night when we were drunk.
Why do gay men do this?
All I wanted was an honest connection and clear reciprocated communication, and all I got was standoffish one worded answers every time.
It seems like every time I try to presue someone I like, they effectively blow me off and play these fucking games with me. I"m too old for this shit. I'm almost 30, and I don't have time for this shit anymore. What the fuck is wrong with people these days!?
I've cut him off, and I will not presue him anymore, and will also not do the same with anyone else anymore. I also don't want to hear this bullshit about how it's me not trying hard enough, or there are more guys out there, or what the fuck ever bullshit can be spewed at me because I've heard it all and believe me, It's old as fuck to me now.
I'm tired of being blown off, lied to, led on, and not having reciprocated communication.
Did I do something by being forward and direct with this guy, did I scare him off, or is he just too immature and insecure about himself?
The "I'm very busy bullshit" doesn't cut it with me anymore, either.
So yeah, thought, comments, etc?
GO!
