I do agree that frequently complaining about how the normal functioning gay scene in America is pretty much non existent (and has been since the mid 2000s or so where it peaked and went downhill, ever since the internet came out showcasing more dangerous and negative anonymous gay gateways like grindr, and the huge amounts of gay porn, and listing bathhouses and popular cruising spots. But it isn't difficult to find positive reinforcement which reminds me of a point I'll make later.), is beating a dead horse and we do need to look at the positives and find alternatives.
The poster above me gave a great suggestion. Find a group or hobby that would be accepting towards gay people. Dancing, winter sports, archery, wine tasting, the occult, gardening and landscaping, book clubs, video games, computer repairs, science and technology, politics and journalism, comic books, anime, theatre, music/singing, fashion design, performance art, dog breeding, baking desserts, travel blogging, automotive and car detailing, architecture and interior decorating, etc.
The list can go on and on. With the internet age, it should be easier to find groups you can settle yourself into and take part in. Also find much more stuff I haven't mentioned.
There's also the gay mafia, but people in it can't talk about it, that's the fucked up part. lol.
But keep your head up my brother, use common sense and let your relationships come naturally. It's better that way.