How to flirt whitout sounding creepy?


  • Dec 10, 2015 2:41 AM GMT
    I'm extremely shy and socially isolated person, and I have a hard time when trying to get sexual partners and even worse for relationship. When I try to flirt with someone I always sound like a perverted and creepy, and scares guys always with hands down... Which I think is strange, because I read so much stories on internet about people talking dirty to other guys and even forcing the first physical contact like touching the guy ass or even rubbing the penis and get successful. Even a close friend of mine do talk dirty to guys in clubs and do this kind of thing and is considered creepy.

    This makes me believe that the difference between sexy talking and creepy talking is if the other guys finds you attractive or not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2015 4:14 PM GMT
    The best way to flirt is to first of all ask a stupid non sexual question or funny open ended questions. Like if you see someone drinking a smoothie or something ask what kind it is. Or ask someone directions on how to get somewhere.

    After that, maybe strike up small talk. Get to know what things you have in common off first sight.

    Using ambiguous body language is also nice too.

    Now if you're in a club just tap someone on the shoulder and ask to dance or ask what their drinking, just act friendly.
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Dec 10, 2015 4:21 PM GMT
    Invetedlotus123 said

    This makes me believe that the difference between sexy talking and creepy talking is if the other guys finds you attractive or not.


    Yup. You have probably nailed it here.

    Every dude is a bit different when it comes to flirting and sexual advances, etc.

    Unless your environment thinks you are a living Greek god, try to be friendly and social for the starters, and show your sexual interest in a slightly indirect fashion. If you chat up a dude in a gay bar he knows already that you are not likely to invite him to attend the Sunday School with you. He knows already that you want to hook up for sex. So, there is little need to be too obvious about this.

    Remember that a few guys will be turning you down completely if they perceive you as being overly too aggressive, and openly focused on sex only, though they may be actually welcoming your advances if put in bit more reserved fashion.

    SC
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    Dec 11, 2015 5:37 AM GMT
    SilverRRCloud said
    Invetedlotus123 said

    This makes me believe that the difference between sexy talking and creepy talking is if the other guys finds you attractive or not.


    Yup. You have probably nailed it here.

    Every dude is a bit different when it comes to flirting and sexual advances, etc.

    Unless your environment thinks you are a living Greek god, try to be friendly and social for the starters, and show your sexual interest in a slightly indirect fashion. If you chat up a dude in a gay bar he knows already that you are not likely to invite him to attend the Sunday School with you. He knows already that you want to hook up for sex. So, there is little need to be too obvious about this.

    Remember that a few guys will be turning you down completely if they perceive you as being overly too aggressive, and openly focused on sex only, though they may be actually welcoming your advances if put in bit more reserved fashion.

    SC


    Very good point. Also remember that, in a mixed group (say, in the gym locker room), the guy you're talking to feels everyone else's eyes on him to see how he responds when you're talking maybe suggestively to him, and he might not want to be out to everyone or at least might not want to have his private aspirations on public display. I once had a very attractive guy I had been quite interested in march up to me in the locker room where I had a dozen guys around me and bellow out would I like to do dinner with him. This was when I was much more reserved and introverted than I am now (but, yeah, it's still a struggle), and all I could do was smile nervously and stammer out "Well . . . um . . . er . . . not this time . . . um . . . heh . . . [gulp] . . ." because, well, he more or less embarrassed me in front of guys who were my day to day buddies. And naturally he thought I was rejecting him for ever and ever, and so that was that with him. So you also need to look around and consider the situation you're putting your "intended" into. In most situations, it's best to be at least a little discreet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2015 6:07 AM GMT
    Make obscene gestures. That always helps. icon_razz.gif
  • ManHunt

    Posts: 23

    Dec 12, 2015 12:10 AM GMT
    I need help with this too....icon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 12, 2015 12:28 AM GMT
    AutumnalStride saidMake obscene gestures. That always helps. icon_razz.gif

    15200450-Fat-Man-in-a-Blue-Shirt-Thumb-S
  • mcbrion

    Posts: 306

    Dec 12, 2015 1:24 AM GMT
    Invetedlotus123 saidI'm extremely shy and socially isolated person, and I have a hard time when trying to get sexual partners and even worse for relationship. When I try to flirt with someone I always sound like a perverted and creepy, and scares guys always with hands down... Which I think is strange, because I read so much stories on internet about people talking dirty to other guys and even forcing the first physical contact like touching the guy ass or even rubbing the penis and get successful. Even a close friend of mine do talk dirty to guys in clubs and do this kind of thing and is considered creepy.

    This makes me believe that the difference between sexy talking and creepy talking is if the other guys finds you attractive or not.


    Having a genuine interest in someone is rarely creepy. Having an obvious ulterior motive is something some guys will like - if they're looking for a hookup - or not, if they're looking for a person who likes them. Don't focus on your own fears, just say hi and smile. A genuine smile is pretty appealing, if someone is even remotely receptive to your overtures.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 31, 2016 11:47 AM GMT
    oh dear, well if the OP thinks forcing the first physical contact is not creepy...

    where should I begin.

    Confidence is sexy, forcing anything is not.

    some guys are good a dirty talk cos they are experienced and they are not clumsy. if you don't have the experience just avoid it.

    for a successful flirt ritual,

    be confident but always be yourself. don't show yourself too interested. be intelligent. say things that are smart, talk about relevant shit and not about you. don't talk too much. smile. you can make a small compliment but don't exaggerate. use body language unless you will look/feel awkward. if you have the chance, send ambiguous messages that might suggest you'd like to spend some time with them.

    if you don't want to come across as creepy avoid the following.

    talking to the person like you already know them. making weird/awkward movements, trying to grab their hands or something like that when it doesn't feel natural. talking about stuff that is way too personal. trying to make out when the moment and circumstances are not right. stalking. being too personal, attached, needy. if you find out something about the person you like never tell them that you did.

    YOU R WELCOME.