Straight "Nerds" seem to have no problem finding mates...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2015 12:31 PM GMT
    Around this time of year, every year for two decades, I've noticed the same phenomenon at the annual office holiday events... Straight nerds with limited social capacity are overwhelmingly happily coupled and often with families. Despite all physical, social, financial and personality shortcomings that gay guys lament about gay men, women of all ages have found a way to put these things aside and find these men worth partnering with. (Good for them.)

    I'm not just talking about the trendy software engineering hipster nerd who makes six figures at Facebook. I mean the helpdesk nerd, the night shift nerd, the nerd who is a clerk in finance, the entry level nerd, the retail nerd. The nerd who works at the mall, at the movie theater, in the mailroom and at the Verizon store. "My girlfriend and I..." or "well my wife says..." This even goes for bisexual nerds.

    Any thoughts or ideas on this?
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    Dec 10, 2015 1:40 PM GMT
    I've noticed that the plainer folks tend to be better partners. Why? Because they tend to work harder on the relationship, especially if their partner is more attractive or more popular than them. Personally, I like nerdy, goofy guys. As a side note, I have several sisters-- all of them smashingly beautiful with high-end professions--and all of them married men that many people would consider "nerds."
  • Oceans_of_Flo...

    Posts: 393

    Dec 10, 2015 2:15 PM GMT

    Some women prefer men inferior to themselves, this isn't new. Gay men, men in general, have less ego, which sounds backward, but it affords them the ability to share the spotlight with one as cute, sexy, successful, handsome, hot, etc, as or than they are. This is why some straight men seek out bombshells, some women seek out shrapnel and some gay men seek out live ammo.
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    Dec 10, 2015 2:59 PM GMT
    Straight people are more relationship oriented than gay men. Society pushes them towards relationships. Historically society has pushed us away from gay relationships. I'm not saying the only reason less attractive socially awkward straight men seem to find it easier to find a mate than similar gay men. Also when you make up +90% of the population its going to be easier to find a match.
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    Dec 10, 2015 2:59 PM GMT
    theantijock%20engage%20stalker%20reducti

    I think it is merely, mostly the importance of nesting on their part (which might in itself be a matter of fetishizing) while our sexuality is more so visually stimulated.

    That might change in the future given this new structure and support of marriage for same sex couples but I'd think that would take many generations before that becomes systemic.

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    Dec 10, 2015 3:15 PM GMT
    Straight people definitely have a much larger dating pool than we gays regardless of whether they are nerds or jocks.
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    Dec 10, 2015 3:17 PM GMT
    Am a nerd!
  • SilverRRCloud

    Posts: 875

    Dec 10, 2015 4:12 PM GMT
    woodfordr saidAround this time of year, every year for two decades, I've noticed the same phenomenon at the annual office holiday events... Straight nerds with limited social capacity are overwhelmingly happily coupled and often with families. Despite all physical, social, financial and personality shortcomings that gay guys lament about gay men, women of all ages have found a way to put these things aside and find these men worth partnering with. (Good for them.)

    I'm not just talking about the trendy software engineering hipster nerd who makes six figures at Facebook. I mean the helpdesk nerd, the night shift nerd, the nerd who is a clerk in finance, the entry level nerd, the retail nerd. The nerd who works at the mall, at the movie theater, in the mailroom and at the Verizon store. "My girlfriend and I..." or "well my wife says..." This even goes for bisexual nerds.

    Any thoughts or ideas on this?


    Str8 women, like everyone else tend to go for the best they can get under the circumstances and keeping in mind their personal preferences. But they feel much greater societal, and at times biological pressure to get coupled, start families, have children, re-start their careers before reaching a certain age.

    A few of my str8 buddies married girls who they were kinda fine with but really not madly in love or anything. She was there, she was available and willing. He wanted a family and kids, and she was the best available on the dating market at that time. A bit like a marriage of convenience, to some extent.

    Gay dudes are mostly not going to have children. They can afford to look around, be picky and choosy, wait for the guy of their dreams, who may very well stay in their dreams, too; and still have lots of fun in the process. ('Looking for Mr.Right but until I find him, Mr. Right Now would be fine, too.')

    Like it or not, dating process for str8 folks tends to be more complex, and traditionally puts on much more footwork and financial burden on the guy. And the dude has no means of knowing if all the proverbial candlelight dinners, boxes of chocolates, etc., will really land him anywhere. Sure, you keep on trying for a few times, and sooner, probably, rather than later, you give in, and start being 'realistic'.

    Some gay dudes have started emulating this heteronormative attitude but the majority is still showing no intention of going there. So, you do not get to see too many long-time dating guys presenting themselves socially before they decide to somehow tie the knot.

    SC
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2015 4:22 PM GMT
    Get it straight nerds!!!!!!!
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    Dec 10, 2015 7:46 PM GMT
    SilverRRCloud said
    Str8 women, like everyone else tend to go for the best they can get under the circumstances and keeping in mind their personal preferences. But they feel much greater societal, and at times biological pressure to get coupled, start families, have children, re-start their careers before reaching a certain age.

    Yep. For women being a successful person means being a wife and mother: having a family. Many of them aren't even concerned about having a job, much less a career, unless their husband doesn't make enough to support the family.

    Also women are much more long term relationship oriented. Men are more likely to get bored and willing to walk away from a relationship and with straights it's the women who will work to prevent that happening if they can.
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    Dec 11, 2015 6:13 AM GMT
    There's a song..

    If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life,
    Never make a pretty woman your wife.

    The same applies for women as well.
  • Fireworkz

    Posts: 606

    Dec 11, 2015 7:35 AM GMT
    Maybe they are seeing something you are not seeing.
    A relationship from the outside is not the same as what's on the inside.
    The socially awkward guy may just be an introvert and not that great with lots of people but in a 121 relationship may be brilliant and interesting.
    People have hidden depths.

    I think if you stop thinking that people are inferior or superior to you. The world shows up differently. You just see people. Those people are either a match or not a match for you. They are not better or worse than you.

    Maybe those couples have an amazing sexual chemistry. Or have similar interests.

    I've hung out with loads of geeks and nerds. Been into geek culture (role playing games, sci fi, comics etc) before it became popular. There are a lot of intelligent interesting people who are not as socially awkward as you think and are often quite fun. There are a lot of specialist interest groups where guys and girls can meet and bond.

    Also being less attractive can mean less choice, less choice means you focus more on getting to know someone and appreciating them.

    I often think that gay people face the illusion of too much choice.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2015 8:23 AM GMT
    geek gay or straight
    someone may be socially awkward but really has their personal life together and functioning. a personal life is well... personal and not to give away.


    the OP;
    too bad;
    looking back on another year of life; fun grinder episodes, visa card maxed.
  • Borski1992

    Posts: 153

    Dec 11, 2015 1:31 PM GMT
    Fireworkz saidMaybe they are seeing something you are not seeing.
    A relationship from the outside is not the same as what's on the inside.
    The socially awkward guy may just be an introvert and not that great with lots of people but in a 121 relationship may be brilliant and interesting.
    People have hidden depths.

    I think if you stop thinking that people are inferior or superior to you. The world shows up differently. You just see people. Those people are either a match or not a match for you. They are not better or worse than you.

    Maybe those couples have an amazing sexual chemistry. Or have similar interests.

    I've hung out with loads of geeks and nerds. Been into geek culture (role playing games, sci fi, comics etc) before it became popular. There are a lot of intelligent interesting people who are not as socially awkward as you think and are often quite fun. There are a lot of specialist interest groups where guys and girls can meet and bond.

    Also being less attractive can mean less choice, less choice means you focus more on getting to know someone and appreciating them.

    I often think that gay people face the illusion of too much choice.





    This
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2015 3:31 PM GMT
    It's a combination of things. Women just feel more pressures from society in general to get married and have kids by a certain age. Beside, most of them just want to have a good partner who make good money, I'd say most straight women don't care about their partner/bf's looks and most Nerds make pretty good money nowadays. They have more dating option. Now gay men, we have less dating pool to choose from and some of you might hate me for saying this, but I think many gay men (us) have huge hung up on look, race, dick size, bank account, the cars the guys drive....etc. Thus it turns us into picky bitches Lol. And most gay men are not relationship oriented because it just takes too much work and most would give up working it out with their partner once a new nice piece of boy-ass comes along. BUt there are still good gay nerdy men out there, you just have to look. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 11, 2015 3:51 PM GMT
    woodfordr saidAround this time of year, every year for two decades, I've noticed the same phenomenon at the annual office holiday events... Straight nerds with limited social capacity are overwhelmingly happily coupled and often with families. Despite all physical, social, financial and personality shortcomings that gay guys lament about gay men, women of all ages have found a way to put these things aside and find these men worth partnering with. (Good for them.)

    I'm not just talking about the trendy software engineering hipster nerd who makes six figures at Facebook. I mean the helpdesk nerd, the night shift nerd, the nerd who is a clerk in finance, the entry level nerd, the retail nerd. The nerd who works at the mall, at the movie theater, in the mailroom and at the Verizon store. "My girlfriend and I..." or "well my wife says..." This even goes for bisexual nerds.

    Any thoughts or ideas on this?


    Women will marry stable straight guys with an income. That's what they do.

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    Dec 11, 2015 9:05 PM GMT
    laxwill10 saidIt's a combination of things. Women just feel more pressures from society in general to get married and have kids by a certain age. Beside, most of them just want to have a good partner who make good money, I'd say most straight women don't care about their partner/bf's looks and most Nerds make pretty good money nowadays. They have more dating option. Now gay men, we have less dating pool to choose from and some of you might hate me for saying this, but I think many gay men (us) have huge hung up on look, race, dick size, bank account, the cars the guys drive....etc. Thus it turns us into picky bitches Lol. And most gay men are not relationship oriented because it just takes too much work and most would give up working it out with their partner once a new nice piece of boy-ass comes along. BUt there are still good gay nerdy men out there, you just have to look. icon_biggrin.gif


    You're right about that with gay men. However, this effects straight people as well. We(gay guys) just don't see it because we are only focused on ourselves and what we want. This isn't a bad thing, but it just means that we aren't aware of the world around us because we are fixated on one aspect of life.

    Gay men are superficial narcissistic assholes who only want the superficial and material things in life, so the relationship pool(not dating pool) is even more limited in scope. I said relationship pool because it's relativity easy to get a date, but to find anything with substance and real value, is the hard part, nerd, geek or not.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 11, 2015 9:29 PM GMT
    They make great dads.

    (And I don't mean daddies; I mean fathers.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 12, 2015 8:12 PM GMT
    there are way more opportunities for nerds to be able to be relevant in culture now than they were in the past thanks to computers and technology's growing popularity.
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    Dec 12, 2015 8:46 PM GMT
    I think ever since Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook made it big to the Billionaire Clubs because of social media, that gives hope to Nerds everywhere and their rise to popularity. I met him in Dolores Park/Mission district in San Francisco a couple years ago. Nice guy too. icon_wink.gificon_redface.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 13, 2015 6:41 AM GMT
    Women value resources. It's part of their being. Being able to make a living is a very good thing.

    I work in the 5'th highest demand job in The World(dev ops). It's not unusual for me to get 200 job inquiries a DAY. I literally can't get to them all.

    Counting reps for a living may be social, but, making a living and being in the 28% tax bracket can be a very good thing. I pay nearly $1200 a week in taxes.

    While I'm very much a nerd, I'm also a very accomplished athlete, and...I wouldn't have it any other way.

    I hate seeing folks complain about the economy when so many jobs are being walked away from and many places I've worked (like Cisco) import H1's by the plane load, while US folks are counting reps. Our education system is messed up; are values are messed up.

    In my case, both my computer science, and my bodybuilding, were ahead of popular culture. Millions of dollars ahead. LOL.

    Many gay folks are so low of esteem / self acceptance that they end up in shitty jobs all their life. I'm out...everywhere..and I like it...and I make a boatload of money..and I'm a stud...and...that's as it should be.

    In my most recent job, I got 4 figures just to walk in the door..on hour 1.

    Pick a job that empowers your lifestyle. You can count reps, or serve food, but, you're never gonna live well if you do. The real money is in sales, tech, and medical. That's how it is.

    Over the years, I've been chastised for shaving my legs, lifting, being brilliant, or even a computer science guy, but, those passions treat me well, and, not only do I make that boatload of money, but, I'm very healthy; very fit; and look and feel great. I like being nerdy. I LIKE being ahead of the curve. You'll never see me with a tatoo, or with the latest trendy shirt. I do my own thing. I choose to lead by doing so.

    I make a great uncle. I'm gay.
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    Dec 13, 2015 12:03 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidI've noticed that the plainer folks tend to be better partners. Why? Because they tend to work harder on the relationship, especially if their partner is more attractive or more popular than them. Personally, I like nerdy, goofy guys. As a side note, I have several sisters-- all of them smashingly beautiful with high-end professions--and all of them married men that many people would consider "nerds."


    That's because women have learned that their husbands should never be prettier than them.