Talked to a cute guy online and think I messed up...any way to fix this? HELP appreciated!

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    Dec 11, 2015 2:15 PM GMT
    I really hate online dating sites and apps, but I don't get out much, so unfortunately it's one of my only options. Meeting/talking to a decent guy on these things is like finding a needle in a haystack.

    Anyway, yesterday, I was talking to this kid on Jack'd. He is really cute and messaged me first. We went back and forth chatting all day. It was a normal conversation, asking each other about school, work, hobbies, etc with little innocent flirting in there about being cuddle buddies, etc.

    My friends say I have a habit of jumping the gun or being too eager, texting too much, etc. So I guess I can come across as thirsty since I am pretty desperate to meet someone. I've been trying to get better at it.

    Anyway, last night around 11:30 or so I asked him if maybe he'd like to hang out or grab a cup of coffee once I'm feeling better since I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday. He never replied, and I saw this morning that he was on the app a couple of hours ago. He always replied to me whenever he signed up.

    He is 19. Normally I wouldn't talk to/date anyone under 21, but I made an exception because he seemed really mature and is really cute.

    Did I jump the gun or is he maybe scared or something? Is there anything I can say to "fix" this or do I just leave it?

    I was considering writing something like "sorry if I jumped the gun on that, I'll blame it on the pain meds I'm on" trying use some humor, but not sure if that'll work.

    I appreciate any insight on this! Thanks guys.
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    Dec 11, 2015 2:46 PM GMT
    If he usually replies to you and he didn't this time, one could surmise that (a) he's not interested, or (b) he's playing a game. In either case, you need to move on.
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    Dec 11, 2015 2:53 PM GMT
    Damn, you're an attractive guy but you have no moves whatsoever...icon_confused.gif
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    Dec 11, 2015 2:54 PM GMT
    you have to leave it where it's at. The ball is in his court now what he does with it is entirely up to him. 19 year olds are starting out and I highly don't recommend dating guys around that age due to the fact that they are so green, and they most likely just want to explore their options, that includes you. There is nothing you can do or say that will help you change his mind, the change comes from the man himself. If he doesn't text you back then just think of it as his loss.
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    Dec 11, 2015 3:05 PM GMT
    Nah, he's probably just not that into you or he's playing games. If he were into you hanging out wouldn't have scared him off. he could also be afraid to meet you. He could be catfish or using old pics and he's gained weight or something. You made your intentions known. Now let him show you what kind of man he is and take it from there. Like Maya Angelou said, "When someone tells you who they are, believe them".
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    Dec 11, 2015 3:08 PM GMT
    he did favor, he is probably younger than you think. I dont think a coffee meet up as you suggested was out of line. You probably need a proper distraction right about now
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    Dec 11, 2015 3:11 PM GMT
    MrFuscle said Like Maya Angelou said, "When someone tells you who they are, believe them".


    That has got to be the worst quote in history of the dating world. People never truly tell you what type of person they are when you first meet them. I believe actions speak louder then words. If they like you they will make it known with text, calls, and try to keep in touch with you. If they say they like you but never call, never text, what do you think?
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    Dec 11, 2015 3:12 PM GMT
    I wouldn't say you jumped the gun but leave it alone. Do not contact him again. You suggested a coffee date. It is incumbent on him to reply.

    He's nineteen and you're twenty five. There's a big difference in maturity. I wouldn't pursue it any further.
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    Dec 11, 2015 3:15 PM GMT
    Ahri said
    MrFuscle said Like Maya Angelou said, "When someone tells you who they are, believe them".


    That has got to be the worst quote in history of the dating world. People never truly tell you what type of person they are when you first meet them. I believe actions speak louder then words. If they like you they will make it known with text, calls, and try to keep in touch with you. If they say they like you but never call, never text, what do you think?


    Well, sometimes...



    And now I has a sad...icon_cry.gif
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    Dec 11, 2015 3:16 PM GMT
    Ahri said
    MrFuscle said Like Maya Angelou said, "When someone tells you who they are, believe them".


    That has got to be the worst quote in history of the dating world. People never truly tell you what type of person they are when you first meet them. I believe actions speak louder then words. If they like you they will make it known with text, calls, and try to keep in touch with you. If they say they like you but never call, never text, what do you think?


    Someone can "tell" you a lot about themselves without speaking a word. Ms. Anjelou's use of the word tell doesn't preclude this type of non verbal "telling."
  • Destinharbor

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    Dec 11, 2015 4:49 PM GMT
    I don't see anything wrong with waiting a day or two and then messaging him with something simple like "Hey! Where'd you go? Want to meet for coffee?" Do not whine or blame meds or be needy. Real turn-off. Just ask him out again. He might just be nervous.
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    Dec 11, 2015 6:10 PM GMT
    Thankfully, he wrote back and said "definitely"!

    Glad I waited before texting him again and saying something stupid.
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    Dec 11, 2015 7:12 PM GMT
    Ahri said
    MrFuscle said Like Maya Angelou said, "When someone tells you who they are, believe them".

    That has got to be the worst quote in history of the dating world. People never truly tell you what type of person they are when you first meet them. I believe actions speak louder then words. If they like you they will make it known with text, calls, and try to keep in touch with you. If they say they like you but never call, never text, what do you think?

    Agreed. And it's not even deliberate deceitfulness in many cases. Lots of guys have a mistaken notion about themselves, about who and what they really are. They really believe what they're telling you, but that still doesn't necessarily make it true.

    You must judge for yourself, based on what you see. Do you buy a car solely because the sales person tells you it's the best thing on wheels? Then don't "buy" a guy based on what he tells you himself.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 11, 2015 7:36 PM GMT
    I think I saw the episode of Oprah when Maya Angelo said that. They were in bed together, and it raised all sorts of questions for me....icon_redface.gif
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    Dec 11, 2015 7:37 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidI think I saw the episode of Oprah when Maya Angelo said that. They were in bed together, and it raised all sorts of questions for me....icon_redface.gif



    are you hot because you have a fever?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 11, 2015 7:41 PM GMT
    bonaparts said
    HottJoe saidI think I saw the episode of Oprah when Maya Angelo said that. They were in bed together, and it raised all sorts of questions for me....icon_redface.gif



    are you hot because you have a fever?

    According to the science, all of this heatt is the product manmade global warming.icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2015 7:45 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    bonaparts said
    HottJoe saidI think I saw the episode of Oprah when Maya Angelo said that. They were in bed together, and it raised all sorts of questions for me....icon_redface.gif



    are you hot because you have a fever?

    According to the science, all of this heatt is the product manmade global warming.icon_cool.gif



    I don't understand
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 11, 2015 7:53 PM GMT
    bonaparts said
    HottJoe said
    bonaparts said
    HottJoe saidI think I saw the episode of Oprah when Maya Angelo said that. They were in bed together, and it raised all sorts of questions for me....icon_redface.gif



    are you hot because you have a fever?

    According to the science, all of this heatt is the product manmade global warming.icon_cool.gif



    I don't understand

    I'm a product of my environment.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2015 8:01 PM GMT
    ant811 saidThankfully, he wrote back and said "definitely"!

    Glad I waited before texting him again and saying something stupid.


    Enjoy the coffee buttercup