What's a life lesson that has significantly changed your behavior or view?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 12, 2015 7:22 PM GMT
    For me, it's the famous quote: "Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it".

    I came across that saying 15 years ago and I haven't been the same. Anytime I'm feeling frustrated, hurt, anxious or angry I do a pulse check and almost always find that somehow I am giving too much power to things I can't control. When I focus on what I can control and my reaction, the outcome is infinitely better and so is my mood and confidence.
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    Dec 12, 2015 10:23 PM GMT
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    Dec 12, 2015 10:46 PM GMT
    Unrelated to the topic, but everything you learned try to forget, life lessons are just mind games a set of rules and principles that people force onto themselves
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    Dec 12, 2015 11:09 PM GMT
    Sunscreen is essential.
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    Dec 13, 2015 3:43 AM GMT
    Lather, rinse, repeat.
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    Dec 13, 2015 4:19 AM GMT
    When you say something that has happened to you or an aphorism. If its simply an aphorism it would be. "You teach people how to treat you." If its an event it's learning I have social anxiety. It made me more compassionate towards people I assumed were just rude and made me realize most of life really isn't about me
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    Dec 13, 2015 5:51 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidits-not-about-you.gif


    Yeah. When I was a kid I thought it was all about me. Typical juvenile self-centered behavior.

    I carried that view into the Army, when I was 20. Where I quickly got smacked down and put in my place. And learned something I hope is still guiding my life.

    You care about others first. You are last. And if you mention what you do for others, it's to encourage more people to do the same.
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    Dec 13, 2015 8:42 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidits-not-about-you.gif


    It hurts so bad because I know you are referring to the D icon_razz.gif
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    Dec 13, 2015 10:36 AM GMT
    113160d1146012633-the-new-poster-of-just

    ^^^ I used to believe it. Then I realized it was bullshit!
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    Dec 13, 2015 1:53 PM GMT
    My dad died when I was young... but there was a framed poem that he had on the wall in his bedroom. He told me that it was a letter written from a father to his son... but I have no idea if that's really true. There were a lot of words for an eight-year-old to read...

    But after he died, I read every word, funny script and all. and it's since been the mantra of my life.

    It's a list of simple instructions that I try to live by... I don't always make it... but I try. Whenever I feel frustrated or bogged down by something, I re-read it and always find some way to to lift myself past the frustration.

    You may have seen it around, it's called the "Desiderata". I'll post a link to it here if you're curious, but won't paste the text. There's also a graphic of the first line in my profile.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desiderata
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Dec 13, 2015 10:08 PM GMT
    it;s not about what you won't do, it's about what you bring to the table.
  • mar0302

    Posts: 273

    Dec 14, 2015 7:24 AM GMT
    For me, I try not to live with regrets.. if I have major decisions to make, I try to imagine which one I'll regret and make sure I do that... It's meant I've been able to do a lot of things that I probably wouldn't have otherwise, and it's meant that I've been able to meet some pretty cool people along the way too..
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    Dec 14, 2015 7:42 AM GMT
    1. "True love" is when you love someone without expecting anything in return, like a mother loves a child. Most people idealise the idea of love but what they really want is someone to love them, ie: to be loved. They say "i love you" to each other but really what they are saying is "I want you to love me." Real love to another person, is rare, selfless and is usually only possible when one has a healthy loving relationship with themselves first and foremost.

    2. Life should be less about looking for something and more about looking at something. I can look at where I am now, live in the present and make a change in mine as well as other people's lives. The search doesn't start outside of ourselves, it starts from within. Concentration and focus come to whoever learns to direct his or her gaze inwardly rather than outwardly. Many people spend their lives looking outside whilst losing themselves in the process. They try to look for people's acceptance, to feel wanted/loved and to meet other people's expectations.
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    Dec 14, 2015 1:45 PM GMT
    Mine is "life is a big circle." My friend's life lesson is better though: "Life is a bitch until your wrestle that bitch to the ground."
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    Dec 14, 2015 2:02 PM GMT
    Mine is 'Have No regrets and that mistakes are only life lessons you haven't quite mastered yet'
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    Dec 14, 2015 3:26 PM GMT
    theantijock%20engage%20stalker%20reducti

    woodfordr saidFor me, it's the famous quote: "Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it".

    I came across that saying 15 years ago and I haven't been the same. Anytime I'm feeling frustrated, hurt, anxious or angry I do a pulse check and almost always find that somehow I am giving too much power to things I can't control. When I focus on what I can control and my reaction, the outcome is infinitely better and so is my mood and confidence.


    You're learning what Karma is, which is not what most people think of Karma as being, rather, that it is simply cause and effect with regard to how things function, not a magically judged measure of payment and debt; and particularly, with regard to the lesson you teach yourself, it is precisely what you've just said: "what (you) can control and (your) reaction".

    Karma is not the magical thinking most people refer to, ie that this happened to so-in-so because of such-and-such so-in-so did, which we often have no control over (bad things happen to good people), so why give that weight (even if the argument is that it happened this time because of some imagined past life); rather, it is what we do with what's happening now that matters. Where do we progress or falter, by what happened or by our reactions to what's happening.

    Thus the permeating nature of Karma, this lifelong lesson, ever testing, creating the sense of self, that we are not one with the world. The turning of the wheel.

    "Because of realization one does not remain in samsara, because of compassion one does not remain in peace." ~~ the Abhisamayalamkara
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    Dec 14, 2015 4:15 PM GMT
    SpikeyAidan said1. "True love" is when you love someone without expecting anything in return, like a mother loves a child. Most people idealise the idea of love but what they really want is someone to love them, ie: to be loved. They say "i love you" to each other but really what they are saying is "I want you to love me." Real love to another person, is rare, selfless and is usually only possible when one has a healthy loving relationship with themselves first and foremost.

    2. Life should be less about looking for something and more about looking at something. I can look at where I am now, live in the present and make a change in mine as well as other people's lives. The search doesn't start outside of ourselves, it starts from within. Concentration and focus come to whoever learns to direct his or her gaze inwardly rather than outwardly. Many people spend their lives looking outside whilst losing themselves in the process. They try to look for people's acceptance, to feel wanted/loved and to meet other people's expectations.


    That was beautiful, man.

    My lessons have generally been Mary Mary a bit contrary. From when I was a little kid I lived and loved for others. I used to throw board games, not across the room, but I'd lose purposely so my friends wouldn't feel badly about losing themselves. That might have exhibited some measure of empathy I felt for others--or was it that I didn't want to be the only winner (Highlander there can be only one) but also that in turn worked against me because by that I don't care much for competition even while I recognize that competition can strengthen and certainly this world rewards that. So there seems some, um, competing factors to how that might all be incorporated into proper living.

    Same with love.



    If you are truly loving, by your definition, then do you play the fool? For as many love to be loved, and they're expert at manipulating that, do others love to feel love themselves. What's the difference? Do those who take provide opportunity for those who give and how's that ever fair? haha. Or do those who truly love themselves require confirmation from outside themselves and then why even participate in the world.

    "Because of realization one does not remain in samsara, because of compassion one does not remain in peace." ~~ the Abhisamayalamkara

    I think my most significant lesson that I am always learning is this:

    "If suffering can be corrected, then there's no need to be despondent. And if it cannot be remedied, there is no benefit even if one becomes unhappy." ~~again with the Shantideva

    On the surface, it seems pretty natural or at least practical and even easy. But in practice, for anyone who readily connects to the world, it is an effort: how to be happy while knowing so much sadness.

    Perhaps the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love without being loved in return. How sad. How to be happy with that?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2015 6:24 PM GMT
    You should make yourself happy first. Find someone that love you unconditionally back. Life is about taking risks and making choices.
  • Breeman

    Posts: 339

    Dec 14, 2015 11:25 PM GMT
    I like that 10% 90% principle!

    I heard this one many years ago and constantly I constantly try and live by it:

    Life isn't so much about how much you can gain,
    but how much you can let go.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2015 11:56 PM GMT
    You can't change people…you can only change the way you react to them…
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3529

    Dec 15, 2015 6:40 AM GMT
    stupid people get the job because they are social
    even if you are smarter, you have to be the cheerleader too
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    Dec 16, 2015 6:37 AM GMT

    As an American citizen, what defines you, as a person, is your debt to income ratio.

    Lesson learned, capitalism (buying, selling stuff) is a form of slavery for the 99%. The best way to be truly 'free' is to be debt free. The 1% have so much money, they continually score in the low debt, high income ranges, meaning they have enough income to cover all their debts and then some. For all the rest, I recommend taking the blue pill and escaping the Matrix icon_wink.gif


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2015 3:07 PM GMT
    In my teen years, I found out early of the harshness life has to offer and learned how to survive. It's what I'm good at. Now I'm learning how to be alive.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 16, 2015 10:30 PM GMT
    Apparition saidstupid people get the job because they are social
    even if you are smarter, you have to be the cheerleader too

    So true!icon_eek.gif

    icon_evil.gif