Dec 13, 2015 5:47 AM GMT
He RJers I haven't posted on here in a bit but would greatly appreciate some input. I am listing two versions long and short for those who don't want to read and those who have some time to. Choose whichever you fancy.
*Long Version*
A few months ago while on Scruff I happened to stumble upon a rare guy that I not only found extremely physically attractive but also had mental appeal to me in that he had some depth to his profile beyond the normal superficial. Even though he was over 800 miles away I decided to send him a message after I "winked" him (something I don't usually do) just saying how much I enjoyed his profile and that I found him to be very charming and funny from it. He replied with the same and we hit it off right away.
Scruff conversations quickly escalated to Skype sessions that happened 4-5 times a week for a month and a half (We kept it very PG). Many times we would lose track of time and spent hours just talking and getting to know each other. While getting to know him he informed me that he would be joining the Air Force and is scheduled to leave for training in Texas end of Jan. This was a bit of a downer when he told me as I had grown to really like the guy and realized that this would mess up what we had going.
A few days after he told me I decided to cheer up and that I really wanted to see him in person, so I invited him to spend this past Thanksgiving with me. After some planning he flew here and we spent 5 days total together. It was a great experience for us both and we basically acted like we were a couple that had been in a relationship for years, it came effortlessly. Midway through his visit we both officially confessed that we have feelings for each other and decided that we would be boyfriends even though we are long distance and he is entering the Air Force soon.
He is set to come back in the next couple of weeks to spend another 5 days and bring in the New Year with me. Unfortunately I fear this will be the last time I will be with him physically for a while. After the end of Jan he will have 8 weeks of intense training and then he will be deployed wherever they find it neccesarry for him to be stationed. I really care about this guy and know dating while long distance is already hard enough but adding the Air Force to that equation would make it harder. I have every hope that we can try and make it work but know that realistically it may be a hard battle to go through.
I want him to be happy and be in charge of his future but a part of me wants him not to go through with it (I haven't told him yet). This is a life altering decision that I feel like I shouldn't interfere with but at the same time I want to be in his life as well. I know we both don't have that much experience together banked in yet and we haven't been in each other's lives long enough to really consider all of this rationally, but I really want this relationship with him..
My mother and I have a very close and supportive relationship and I keep her pretty up to date in many things in my life. After gauging him and his personality she has even voiced at how good she thinks we are for each other. She has given her full support of our relationship and even sometimes calls him to check in (he has been pleasantly surprised and already calls her Mom #2).
This whole situation is complex. He has expressed to me that he wishes he met me sooner so that I influenced his decision about joining the Air Force. Shortly after his return home from his trip with me he had a bit of an emotional confession that he really saw us working out long-term and regrets his decision.
I want to hear from other men about their opinions. What would you do in my situation? Should I tell him how I really feel? Let him make his own decision without saying anything? Any suggestions or input is welcome.
*Short Version*
I messaged this guy on Scruff and have been in a long distance relationship with him for about 4 months. We skyped frequently 4-5 times a week (kept it PG). We made the boyfriend thing official after he visted me for 5 days after Thanksgiving, which felt like it came very naturally for both of us. He is about to enter the Air Force end of January. I am having a dilemma about talking with him to see if maybe we can make an alternative plan and have him discontinue joining or possibly roughing through the process for 4 years. Part of me really feels like we have a great shot for an amazing relationship and I am struggling with the idea that may be crushed from his Air Force service.
He has expressed to me that he wishes he met me sooner so that I influenced his decision about joining the Air Force. Shortly after his return home from his trip with me he had a bit of an emotional confession that he really saw us working out long-term and regrets his decision.
I want to hear from other men about their opinions. What would you do in my situation? Should I tell him how I really feel? Let him make his own decision without saying anything? Any suggestions or input is welcome.
Some info about us:
I am 27 and he is 28. I am his first boyfriend and he is my second in our relationship history. Physically we are each other's types, he has a bodybuilder physique which I am very attracted to but also I am attracted to him mentally as we have very similar interests and hobbies which is why we are able to talk for hours on just one topic. One of the reasons he is entering the Air Force is so he can have better financial stability and security than where he is at currently.He has a part-time job that pays ok.I currently am a part-time actor and part-time fitness instructor/trainer for supplemental income. I received a Masters in Social Work but realized shortly after graduating that I wanted to act for a living and be an actor full-time. I am working towards that and just recently became SAG (Screen Actors Guild) eligible which will allow me to make more and take on bigger paying jobs.
*Long Version*
A few months ago while on Scruff I happened to stumble upon a rare guy that I not only found extremely physically attractive but also had mental appeal to me in that he had some depth to his profile beyond the normal superficial. Even though he was over 800 miles away I decided to send him a message after I "winked" him (something I don't usually do) just saying how much I enjoyed his profile and that I found him to be very charming and funny from it. He replied with the same and we hit it off right away.
Scruff conversations quickly escalated to Skype sessions that happened 4-5 times a week for a month and a half (We kept it very PG). Many times we would lose track of time and spent hours just talking and getting to know each other. While getting to know him he informed me that he would be joining the Air Force and is scheduled to leave for training in Texas end of Jan. This was a bit of a downer when he told me as I had grown to really like the guy and realized that this would mess up what we had going.

A few days after he told me I decided to cheer up and that I really wanted to see him in person, so I invited him to spend this past Thanksgiving with me. After some planning he flew here and we spent 5 days total together. It was a great experience for us both and we basically acted like we were a couple that had been in a relationship for years, it came effortlessly. Midway through his visit we both officially confessed that we have feelings for each other and decided that we would be boyfriends even though we are long distance and he is entering the Air Force soon.
He is set to come back in the next couple of weeks to spend another 5 days and bring in the New Year with me. Unfortunately I fear this will be the last time I will be with him physically for a while. After the end of Jan he will have 8 weeks of intense training and then he will be deployed wherever they find it neccesarry for him to be stationed. I really care about this guy and know dating while long distance is already hard enough but adding the Air Force to that equation would make it harder. I have every hope that we can try and make it work but know that realistically it may be a hard battle to go through.
I want him to be happy and be in charge of his future but a part of me wants him not to go through with it (I haven't told him yet). This is a life altering decision that I feel like I shouldn't interfere with but at the same time I want to be in his life as well. I know we both don't have that much experience together banked in yet and we haven't been in each other's lives long enough to really consider all of this rationally, but I really want this relationship with him..
My mother and I have a very close and supportive relationship and I keep her pretty up to date in many things in my life. After gauging him and his personality she has even voiced at how good she thinks we are for each other. She has given her full support of our relationship and even sometimes calls him to check in (he has been pleasantly surprised and already calls her Mom #2).

This whole situation is complex. He has expressed to me that he wishes he met me sooner so that I influenced his decision about joining the Air Force. Shortly after his return home from his trip with me he had a bit of an emotional confession that he really saw us working out long-term and regrets his decision.
I want to hear from other men about their opinions. What would you do in my situation? Should I tell him how I really feel? Let him make his own decision without saying anything? Any suggestions or input is welcome.

*Short Version*
I messaged this guy on Scruff and have been in a long distance relationship with him for about 4 months. We skyped frequently 4-5 times a week (kept it PG). We made the boyfriend thing official after he visted me for 5 days after Thanksgiving, which felt like it came very naturally for both of us. He is about to enter the Air Force end of January. I am having a dilemma about talking with him to see if maybe we can make an alternative plan and have him discontinue joining or possibly roughing through the process for 4 years. Part of me really feels like we have a great shot for an amazing relationship and I am struggling with the idea that may be crushed from his Air Force service.
He has expressed to me that he wishes he met me sooner so that I influenced his decision about joining the Air Force. Shortly after his return home from his trip with me he had a bit of an emotional confession that he really saw us working out long-term and regrets his decision.
I want to hear from other men about their opinions. What would you do in my situation? Should I tell him how I really feel? Let him make his own decision without saying anything? Any suggestions or input is welcome.
Some info about us:
I am 27 and he is 28. I am his first boyfriend and he is my second in our relationship history. Physically we are each other's types, he has a bodybuilder physique which I am very attracted to but also I am attracted to him mentally as we have very similar interests and hobbies which is why we are able to talk for hours on just one topic. One of the reasons he is entering the Air Force is so he can have better financial stability and security than where he is at currently.He has a part-time job that pays ok.I currently am a part-time actor and part-time fitness instructor/trainer for supplemental income. I received a Masters in Social Work but realized shortly after graduating that I wanted to act for a living and be an actor full-time. I am working towards that and just recently became SAG (Screen Actors Guild) eligible which will allow me to make more and take on bigger paying jobs.