How age factors into relationships

  • dilfforrent

    Posts: 207

    Dec 15, 2015 7:23 AM GMT
    I recently looked over an acquaintance's research paper for her sexuality studies course, and found some pretty cool statistics for how age factors into gay relationships.

    The fact most RJers would like is that 87% of guys under 25 prefer older men. Unfortunately, "older" means within 1-5 years of their own age for the majority of them, with only 12% of them preferring men more than 10 years older.

    Gays between 25 and 30 are most likely to prefer men their own age, with 80% within +/- 5 years, followed by 64% for men from 30-34, 47% for men from 35-39, and only 14% for men over 39. Only 3% of men over 39 prefer older men; 0% prefer men over 10 years older, while 65% prefer men over 10 years younger.

    Fantasy doesn't translate into reality however, because 56% of men over 39 are currently in relationships are with men over 39, and only 15% are with men under 30.

    While the age gap of current relationships are much smaller than the preferred, the age gap of past relationships are somewhat closer to the preferred. Current relationships also report a higher rate of egalitarianism in decision making, compared to past relationships, which report more of a dominance structure in decision making.

    While 92% of all men state a preference for equalitarian decision making, in relationships with gaps over 5 years, older partners report making decisions 61% of the, while the younger partners report making decisions 15% of the time, which doesn't add up to 100%, suggesting that each overestimated the other's dominance, and implying some level of dissatisfaction. The discrepancy is less with relationships between men with <5 year age gap.

    When measuring satisfaction with current relationships, there is no statistical difference between >5-year-gap relationships and <5-year-gap relationships. However, when measuring satisfaction with past relationships, the former were reported on with much greater dissatisfaction and regret than the latter. The younger partners view past relationships negatively 84% of the time, while the older partner view them negatively 29% of the time.

    Duration of relationship status are measured for men of different ages, categorized by relationships longer than 5 years, relationships between 1-5 years, under 1 year, and single.

    Of men over 39, it's 37% 5+ years, 4% 1-5 years, 27% <1 year, 32% single
    Of men from 35-39, it's 23% 5+ years, 38% 1-5 years, 21% <1 year, 17% single
    Of men from 30-35, it's 19% 5+ years, 34% 1-5 years, 29% <1 year, 18% single
    Of men from 25-29, it's 12% 5+ years, 26% 1-5 years, 33% <1 year, 29% single
    Of men under 25, it's 1% 5+ years, 19% 1-5 years, 41% <1 year, 38% single

    Interestingly, the shrinking proportion of singleness or short-term relationships with each successively-older age group reverses itself at the 39+ group, despite them being also most likely to be in a LTR. This is likely due to the large demographic size covering men up to age 60, and includes a proportion of relationships longer than is possible in any other age group. However, it means that of the single men available in that group, new relationships are second-least likely to last longer than 1 year, only ahead of the <25 group. The most stable relationships seem to form during the 25-35 years.

    A lot of it came from one relatively-dated book from the 90's, according to her, and there's a note mentioning that the decrease in age gaps for all couples over the decades (as society trends towards more equalitarian relationships), is declining faster among gays, which had bigger age-gaps to start with.
  • craycraydoesd...

    Posts: 596

    Dec 15, 2015 7:43 AM GMT
    Just great... So basically the good ones are all taken and the rest are fruitlessly looking for fuck sessions with any 20 year old dumb enough to think they're getting a "mature" guy. Thanks, I'm gonna go take a toaster bath now.
  • oldfart

    Posts: 328

    Dec 15, 2015 4:28 PM GMT
    They should do it again the see whether it has changed significantly.

    Also, I'll bet that 50% are in a relationship with someone older, and 50% with someone younger.

    My partner (9 years older) will tell you that I make all the decisions. I can assure that in fact he does....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2015 6:56 PM GMT
    Sorry to buck the statistics, but if I find them physically attractive, I don't really care *what* age they are-younger or older (and yes, I find plenty of guys (on here!) that are older than me and attractive).
  • FitBlackCuddl...

    Posts: 802

    Dec 15, 2015 8:07 PM GMT
    "How age factors into relationships"

    I prefer fit, virile men 45 to about 65...fellows who have been around the block so often that it has lost its novelty and they are ready for domesticity.

    But I ROUTINELY attract 18-24 and "bottoms". Don't know why (aside from the "daddy factor") and hope the kids stop calling.
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    Dec 16, 2015 1:33 AM GMT
    I prefer someone between 25-45, I guess a little open with that age range, anyone below that or way over that, I feel like we have nothing in common or interest what soever. But I guess never say never. Look at J LO, she's dating someone 20 yrs her junior.icon_lol.gif
  • highforthis

    Posts: 681

    Dec 16, 2015 4:48 AM GMT
    crazycrazydoesdoes saidJust great... So basically the good ones are all taken and the rest are fruitlessly looking for fuck sessions with any 20 year old dumb enough to think they're getting a "mature" guy. Thanks, I'm gonna go take a toaster bath now.


    Thanks for adding the term toaster bath to my dictionary icon_lol.gif

    These stats merely confirms what everyone already knows to be the general pattern.
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    Dec 16, 2015 5:06 AM GMT
    I seem to always attract guys younger than me by 5 years or who who think they want to be in a relationship with me, and guys in my age age, 25 to 29 don't seem to have any interest in me. Some older guys do, but usually because they are desperate and only want me for sex or for someone to take care of them.

    I have a hard time in general finding good decent attractive men in my area who aren't floozies or HIV+, so I can say that this study don't take into account cultural trends that have shifted, either.

    Being in a gay relationship is more accepted now then It was in the 90's, but that still doesn't account for the fact that some guys out there will just be sluts and want sex regardless of how their lives were growing up.

    I rarely see any stable gay relationships of any age group of combination. I would like to see what the study or that class says about relationship between gay men, commitment and sex because those two seem to have been confused in the gay world and the terms "LTR" and Serious relationship" have been lost or forgotten.

    Again, I think it's interesting to see how the shift in cultural trends is changing out any men interact with each other and how they form relationships with each other, and on what basis.

    I like guys about 3 years younger then me and about 3 years older then me. Any younger or older and I run into issues with compatibility--if I even manage to get the guy to go out to coffee with me--that seems to scare them away.icon_cry.gif Not sure why either.

    Maybe I need to take a class like this, just for fun.
  • Sunny_x9

    Posts: 95

    Dec 16, 2015 9:39 AM GMT
    hey guys
    Well, as I mentioned before , I like twinks (teens)
    I m nearing 40" but still have same intention , what I don't like in them is
    Stubborn " Stupidity " (of course not all of teens have these )
    I had a relationship with a 16" boy , for one year (2014) , then he (with family) left the town , since then I m searching for someone like that
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2015 11:07 AM GMT
    Sunny_x9 saidhey guys ... I had a relationship with a 16" boy...


    mostly in this country the age of consent is 18 and 16 for a 1st world country is way too young to be proud of it. except for the Subway Guy Jared Fogle.
    reference
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jared_Fogle

    even a >18 year old
    A big gay relationship experience with someone a generation away from your age; well humans make bad pets. I have a child from a previous marriage and just cant see the sexual attraction.
  • Edepic

    Posts: 88

    Dec 17, 2015 3:35 AM GMT
    I have read that according to statics the average American has one breast and one testicle.
  • dilfforrent

    Posts: 207

    Dec 17, 2015 5:58 AM GMT
    crazycrazydoesdoes saidJust great... So basically the good ones are all taken and the rest are fruitlessly looking for fuck sessions with any 20 year old dumb enough to think they're getting a "mature" guy. Thanks, I'm gonna go take a toaster bath now.


    That's a pretty pessimistic interpretation of those stats. Often men our age are more jaded from experience, thus can spot a doomed relationship sooner and end it sooner than younger guys. Not necessarily just trying to catch up on lost teenage years.
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Jan 19, 2016 2:22 AM GMT
    dilfforrent said...Interestingly, the shrinking proportion of singleness or short-term relationships with each successively-older age group reverses itself at the 39+ group, despite them being also most likely to be in a LTR. This is likely due to the large demographic size covering men up to age 60, and includes a proportion of relationships longer than is possible in any other age group. However, it means that of the single men available in that group, new relationships are second-least likely to last longer than 1 year, only ahead of the <25 group. The most stable relationships seem to form during the 25-35 years...


    So the "stable, mature, established" gentlemen that we're constantly reminded of on RJ are all offline and somewhere in suburbia. This would explain why the available ones here from that demographic are all insane scared0018.gif
  • dilfforrent

    Posts: 207

    Feb 02, 2016 6:00 AM GMT
    There's a myriad of other possible reasons, including break-ups, or the death of a partner, and for some, the longer they wait to settle down the higher their standards get - to make the waiting worth it. Unfortunately, the pool of potentially interested partners over time requires decreasing standards.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2016 6:45 AM GMT
    It would be interesting to read the results of a new study done in today's time, with today's "acceptance" of gay relationships. I bet there are more people willing to answer such a survey.
  • jeep334

    Posts: 410

    Feb 02, 2016 10:39 AM GMT
    Runner is correct. I'm amazed how freely same-sex comes up in general conversation, both privately and publically. I belong to different organizations of which a couple in particular are made up of an older crowd. Even in general meetings, if someone who is gay is discussed (for the organizations purpose, not simply because that person is gay)the discussion is like any other discussion. No judgment, no raised eye brows. We truly have turned a corner. People have come to terms with all of this not only in their own lives but in the lives of everyone else, and are willing to openly discuss it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2016 9:24 AM GMT
    Sunny_x9 saidhey guys
    Well, as I mentioned before , I like twinks (teens)

    I had a relationship with a 16" boy


    Wow! Pics? The longest i have ever seen is about 13 inches. And a youth sporting 16 inches would really intimidate me.